14. Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
M onday morning, Jess wakes up and heads downstairs. Landry spent most of Sunday at her place, and even though they spent a good majority of it naked, she can't help but feel a little under satisfied. The fact he seems completely smitten with her, though, makes her smile.
Landry is also everything she's looking for. He seems devoted to only her, he wants a future, and he was patient and waited until she felt comfortable enough with him to give into sleeping with him. That and the fact he thinks he could be falling in love with her doesn't hurt. But something about the way he still puts his guard up and comes across aloof, even lying naked together in bed, reminds her there's still something that doesn't feel quite right with him.
The other issue she has is with the fact her heart feels like she betrayed Kade by sleeping with Landry. She should be over the moon finding a man like him, but she's fooling herself and everyone else, acting like she's moved on from Kade. Her head knows she needs to get over him, and she's not betraying the man who still holds her heart because he doesn’t want her, but she can't just turn off the feelings. And she has tried. Man, has she tried.
"He didn't want you," Jess says as she looks in the mirror and touches up her mascara. "At least, not just you. And you deserve someone like Landry who wants to give you a monogamous relationship. Suck it up, buttercup."
Applying the final touches to her Monday morning look, she heads downstairs and realizes she hasn't looked at her phone since Saturday night. At least that's one bonus to having a man like him around. She didn't feel the need to check in on work or Noelle or social media this weekend.
When she pulls the phone from her purse, she finds it dead. Again, not the worst start to a Monday morning. "I'll just have to charge it at the office. Hopefully, there were no emergencies."
The drive to work feels weird. Off. The small amount of traffic as she heads to the office doesn't bother her, but it gives her much too much time to think. Her mind can't decide if she's not ready to move on with Landry, or if she’s picking up on something not quite right with the relationship. Something more than just not being over Kade yet.
If you're not ready, that's one thing, but are you overlooking giant red flags in an attempt to prove something? Is Landry right for you? And are you trying to fit a round peg into a square hole by trying to fit him into the image you have for your life? Do you really think he's the man you want to marry by thirty and have kids by thirty-two with?
Pulling into the parking lot, she lets out a sigh. She won't figure it out right now, and she's happy to find a reprieve from her intrusive thoughts. It tells her something that she’s not over the moon right now.
As she walks into the office, Tiffany tilts her head and stares at her. Hard.
"Hi, Tiff."
"Good morning," Tiffany says, her eyes narrowed. "You look weird."
Stopping, Jess stares back at the woman behind the receptionist desk. "Excuse me?"
"I don't mean to be mean, but-"
"Jess! There you are!" Paul says and hurries over to her. "I tried calling you this morning, but I just got your voicemail."
Her eyes look at the clock, and she's still fifteen minutes early. "Sorry, my phone died this weekend, and I didn't notice. Is everything okay?"
He leads her to her office. "We have a problem with the pizza place project."
"Tony's Pizza?"
"Yep."
Closing her eyes, she sets her bag down on her chair before letting out a sigh. "The Historical Society?"
"What else would it be?" he asks with a roll of his eyes.
Grabbing her phone, she plugs it into the charger she has on her desk and grabs her laptop. "I suppose we should schedule a meeting with them."
"Oh, they're here. And they won't talk to anyone but you. Ironic, since I own the company, but I don't really like them much anyway. Have fun."
Jess watches him walk away with a smirk on his face, and she groans. She changes her mind and decides this is not the way to start a Monday. Squaring her shoulders, she walks into the conference room to find the five people she normally only speaks with on the phone waiting for her. None of them look particularly happy, and she just prays she has enough willpower to get through this without screaming.
A fter a three-hour meeting, Jess finally makes it back to her office. The committee was adamant things needed to change, and they put her through the ringer as they shot down almost every solution she came up with to their concerns. She hadn't even had a chance to check her email, and she groans as she opens the program to find fifty-seven unread messages.
"For crying out loud," she mutters.
She checks her phone to find it fully charged, and she turns it on. She has three missed calls in her notifications, and she expects to see her mother's name appear. Her mother has an irrational response to any type of stress, and she will call multiple times for an emergency that turns out to be nothing more than an annoyance. Instead, her jaw drops as she sees the name.
"Saturday night? Kade called three times on Saturday..." Her hand presses against her stomach as it rolls. "He's the one who called when..."
What the hell are the odds he'd call when she finally went to bed with Landry? Only she would have this type of luck. But three calls? Was something wrong? It's not really her place to be concerned with his life anymore, but she can't stop from worrying.
"What if it was something with Drew's kids?" she asks aloud. "No, no, stop it, Jess. You don't have a right or an obligation anymore."
Paul pops his head into the office. "Did you say something?"
Jess jumps. "No, just talking to myself."
"How'd it go in there?"
"Thanks for throwing me to the wolves alone. That was very considerate of you."
He just smiles and winks. "I knew you could handle it. I'm going to order in lunch for everyone. Any requests?"
Like she can eat right now? "No, whatever you order will be fine."
Narrowing his eyes, he fully steps into her office. "Jess, what's wrong?"
Confusion. She is utterly and overly confused. "Nothing. I just need some air, I think. This was more than I bargained for on a Monday morning, and I feel a little foggy. I think I'll take a quick break and walk around the park. I'll be back."
"Are you sure?"
She stands and walks to the doorway, her phone in hand. "I'm sure. Call if you need anything." She walks a few steps down the hallway before turning back to look at him. "For lunch... just no onions, okay?"
Paul laughs, seemingly satisfied she's okay. "You got it."
The small walking park sits right in the middle of her building and three others. The walking path takes just under fifteen minutes to walk, and it circles around a small man-made pond that has fountains to add to the scenery. Jess makes a point to walk the path at least once a day, weather permitting, to help keep her sane and avoid running to the break room to raid the vending machine for salty treats and chocolate.
The moment she steps outside, she feels like she can breathe again. Finally. Her chest eases up, and she likes the chill in the air. Fall has started, and it's her favorite season. The leaves change colors, and the breeze helps keep things crisp. The sun keeps her warm, and she feels like today could be a perfect day, aside from the stressful morning and confusing situation with Kade.
Her mind drifts off into a million different directions as she walks, and she doesn't notice the person falling into step beside her right away until a large shadow falls over her. Turning, she jumps when she sees Kade.
"Hey, Jess," Kade says, smiling with his beautiful but slightly imperfect smile.
"What are you doing here?" Jess asks, suddenly worrying maybe something bad did happen. But if that was the case, why would he be smiling?
He stares at her. "You didn't answer my calls this weekend."
"I was busy. You came here because I didn't answer my phone?"
"What were you busy doing?" he asks. "You always call me back."
Shaking her head, she feels the nerves kick in as butterflies flutter in her stomach. She does not want to tell Kade she was letting another man inside her when he called. "I left my phone in my purse, and it died. Did something happen?"
"What do you mean?"
"You haven't called me in months. Are Drew's kids okay?"
Nodding, Kade lets out a deep breath. "Yeah, they're fine. I didn't mean to worry you."
"Then why did you call me?"
"Because I wanted to talk to you."
Stopping, Jess turns and looks at him. First, he calls on Saturday night, multiple times, and now he shows up as she's walking the path he knows she walks almost every day just to see her? "What is this?"
"What were you doing on Saturday night?"
The look in his eyes makes her think he might already know. "I was spending time with someone, and I didn't want to be rude. I had no idea you called until about ten minutes ago."
"Were you with that guy from the bar?"
The way he stares makes her feel like he might be jealous. But how can he be jealous when he was the one who wanted to see other people? "Who I was with is none of your business."
"I saw you."
"You saw me where?"
"At your house," he says, and her heart races. "When you didn't answer, I drove by to make sure you were okay. I saw two shadows in your bedroom window, and from the motions, I think it's a safe bet to say you slept with Landry. Am I right?"
The audacity of this man! "What I did or didn't do with anyone stopped being your concern months ago, Kade. Just like how you being with Lena wasn't my concern, even when I walked in to find you with her. The only difference is that we were very clearly not together Saturday night. And you don’t have the right to stalk me."
"I don't like it."
"Like what?"
"Knowing you're with another man. Seeing your shadows as you let him screw you before sleeping on the side of the bed I used to sleep on.”
Her jaw drops. Who the hell does this guy think he is? "I don't really care if you like it or not," she says and slaps her hands against the sides of her legs. "You chose this, remember?"
Kade shakes his head. "No, you chose to walk away, not me."
"You didn't want a relationship!" she cries and lowers her voice as she sees a few others on the walking path. "You didn't want a relationship with just me, and I never wanted to be just a number."
"That's not how it was."
"No, you don't get to do this. You didn't get to come around and want me simply because I found someone else to spend time with. Someone who wants to give me everything I wanted with you but you couldn't give me. I won't give you the power to ruin something that has the potential to be something great."
His hand takes hers, and she stares at it in shock instead of yanking it away like she knows she should. The feeling of his skin touching her drives her wild, and she hates what he can still do to her.
"Potential?" Kade asks.
"He wants what I want, Kade. He wants to give me what you didn't want to."
"And what if I said I wanted to give you what you want now?"
Tearing her hand from his, she shakes her head, anger filling her. "How dare you?"
"What?"
"If you do want what I want now, it's only because I found someone else to have it with."
"That's not true-"
"You said you aren't the commitment type of guy. I walked in on you screwing Lena on your kitchen counter after you lied to be with her. I think you telling me you can't commit after seeing that is the true version of who you are."
"I miss you," he says.
Laughing, Jess turns and walks back towards the office. "You miss things about me, but you don't miss me. I was wifey material on an extended one-night stand salary. This is about what you got from me, not about me."
"How do you know?" he asks, running to catch up to her.
"Because you haven't reached out since I gave you back your things," she says, picking up her pace and hoping he has to go. To work. To the dentist. To hell. She really doesn’t care, but she needs to get away from him.
As she quickens her steps, she regrets not putting on more sensible shoes, but she hadn't expected to damn near sprint back to the office. She thought the last thing she expected today was seeing three missed calls from Kade, but it turns out, seeing him outside her office was the actual last thing she thought would happen today. Or in this lifetime. Kade Finely waiting for her never even crossed her mind because he never seemed like a stalker. Until today.
"I had a few things I needed to figure out, Jess. About myself. And it wasn't fair to try and get back into your life while I was doing that."
"You got your entire life figured out in three months?"
His head tilts side to side. "Okay, maybe not my entire life, but the big parts. The parts that kept me from being able to be with only one person."
Stopping outside the building, she plants her hands on her hips. "No."
"No?"
"I don't believe you."
"Give me a chance to prove it."
Jess laughs. "I'm seeing someone."
"And I hate him."
"What I do and who I do it with are no longer your business or your concern. And I don't care what you think of him. You don't get a say, and you don't get an opinion. Not after you opted out of being with only me."
"What if I want a say and an opinion?"
She sighs. "What is it you think you want? Because I'm moving on with someone who wants to give me everything I gave you. So, tell me, what's this great epiphany you've had? Huh?"
"I want a second chance."
"At what?" she cries and shakes her head. "I have no desire to be just another number. That's all I was to you, and I have no intention of repeating that game. I lost last time, remember?"
"No, Jess, no. That's not what I want. I want us. I want to give this a real shot."
A delivery man walks up to the building, and she's never been more thankful for a stranger in her life. "If you think I'm going to take a chance to put myself through all that pain again, you're certifiably insane." She turns to the delivery man. "Is that an order for Paul Gaines?"
"Yes."
"Is it already paid for?"
"Just need a signature."
Taking the pen he offers, Jess signs and takes the bags from him, ignoring the way he stares at her cleavage. "I need to get this inside. Goodbye, Kade."