19. Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
K ade drives by Jess's house, hoping to find her home to talk to her. He's itching to see her, but the moment he approaches the house, he sees Landry's SUV in the driveway. She said she had to work late, but he didn't think she had afterwork plans with Landry. Not after the way he spoke to her and took some other girl out.
"Damn it!" Kade shouts and hits his steering wheel with his fist.
Pulling out his phone, he calls Drew, breathing heavily. He knows it's about bedtime, but if he doesn't have someone talk him off the ledge, he's bound to burst through that door and beat the man to a pulp.
"Kade-"
"She's with him, Drew!" he nearly shouts.
"Who?"
Taking a deep breath, he tries to calm down enough to make his statements as coherent as possible while his brain feels as though it’s on the fritz. "Jess is inside her house with Landry."
"And you know this because you decided to stalk her?" Drew asks. "Kade, that's a problem. You and I both know that."
"I needed to see her. I want to see her. But this asshole is here. I want to beat his ass, Drew. I want to make him regret ever looking at her."
His cousin sighs into the phone. "Kade, you let her go, remember?"
"He already waited sixty days. He's got a leg up on me, and he's in there, making love to my girl."
"Sixty days? What are you talking about? Are you drunk?"
The punch to his gut makes it difficult to speak. The sixty-day rule is because of him. What he did to her. "Never mind."
"Drive away, Kade. Drive back to your house, okay? On the drive to your house, explain what you mean because I have no idea what's happening, and you have me a little worried about you right now."
Listening to his cousin, he guns it and drives out of her neighborhood. "She has a rule where she waits sixty days before she considers taking a man to bed. Because of what happened with her and me. Basically, she needs to take that time to make sure the guy really wants her and has good intentions, not just wants sex."
"You can't really blame her."
"Thanks."
"Look, Kade, I get it. You think you're in love with Jess, but you knew she was seeing someone. This isn't a surprise like you gave her."
He'll never live down his mistake with anyone. "I don't think I'm in love with her, I am in love with her. But Drew-"
"She has a right to do what she feels she needs to in order to protect her heart."
"But he already passed the sixty days. He has an opportunity to show her love that I can't."
Drew pauses a beat. "Wait... did you say you're in love with her?"
"Yes, but that's not the point here, Drew. He's in there, with her, and he already put in the time. She said she hadn't heard from him since the night we had our confrontation in her house, which I thought kind of fell in my favor, and then he was at the same restaurant we went to with another girl. I don’t know if she lied or what."
"He's cheating, too?"
I didn't cheat. "I don't know."
"Poor Jess."
"Poor Jess? You know what, never mind. I shouldn't have bothered you during bedtime," he says and hangs up the phone.
Staring at the black device in his hand as he sits in his garage, he decides to call Jess. She answers after three rings, and he finds that to be a good sign. She wouldn’t answer while in bed with Landry, right?
"Hey," Jess's voice comes through his speakerphone, and she sounds weird.
"Hey, baby. Are you okay?" Kade asks.
Maybe he’s still at the house, and she’s hiding. Has to be quiet so Landry doesn’t freak out that she answered the phone to talk to him.
She sniffles. "Yeah, I'm okay. It's just... it's been a long day."
"How about we go out on Friday? I'll plan something nice for us, and we'll hit the town."
"I would love to, but I have plans. I could-"
"With Landry?" he interrupts.
"What?"
His fist clenches in front of him. He really hates this guy. "Do you have a date with Landry already? After he went on a date with some chick?"
"Kade, don't do this, please," Jess begs. "Friday doesn't work for me, but-"
"Would you be upset if I was going out with someone else?"
She pauses. "We're not exclusive. And you already did that, remember? I can't believe this. You knew I was seeing someone when you bombarded me and asked for a second chance. Now you're mad because I could possibly be seeing him one night when we’re only in this situation because you threw me away?"
"Are you doing this just to be spiteful? Do you want to give me a signal when you're in bed with him, and I can walk in and get a taste of my own medicine? Would that make it even for you?"
"Stop it!" she cries, and he hears a sob catch in her throat.
He immediately regrets what he said and feels the guilt rise up. It wasn't fair, and he knows it.
"I know how that image haunts someone, and I would never purposely do that, no matter how angry I was. It's just cruel. But you know what, Kade? You hurt me. You don't get to dictate what I do or who I see. Not anymore. If this is how you expect things to be, you can walk. No harm, no foul."
Panic bubbles in his chest. This wasn’t his intention. "Jess, wait-"
"There are no ties, and you're free to do what you need to do."
"If that's what you want me to do," he says, all anger gone. "I get it now. I know how it felt to realize we weren't on the same page. The tables turned, and you win. It hurts knowing you're spending time with someone else, okay? And I guess I'm a little jealous because I saw Landry's SUV outside your house tonight."
"What is with the two of you stalking me?" she asks. "You know what, Kade? I can only win if this is a game, and I don't want any more games. If that's what you think this is, I'm not interested in anything more. What we want still appears to be very different from each other, and it's probably best if we just call it a day."
She hangs up, and he stares at the phone in his hand. What the hell did he just do? And what did she mean by stalking?
He walks into his house from the attached garage just as his doorbell rings. Looking at the app, he sees Drew standing on the front porch. Letting him in, Kade grabs two beers from the fridge and leads him out to the back porch, lighting the natural gas firepit.
"What are you doing here?"
"You were in straight up panic mode," Drew said. "I came to make sure you were okay. Or if you needed help disposing of a body."
Kade laughs. "I wish, but no. I screwed up, Drew."
"Yeah, I know."
"No, on top of that. I think Jess is done with me now."
"You called her, didn't you?"
He nods and drinks from the can in his hand. The bitterness tastes even more bitter as he realizes just what he's done. "I asked if she was free on Friday, and she said she has plans. I kind of lost it."
"What's she doing?"
"Plans with Landry, no doubt."
"She told you that?"
Did she? "No, but it's not that hard to assume."
"She doesn't have friends? Or coworkers? It has to be a guy she may or may not be sleeping with now that you're back in the picture?" Drew asks and drinks from his can as he rocks in the chair. "Dude, you're tripping."
Kade stares up at the moon. It's almost a full moon, but he can't blame that for his irrational reaction. He is tripping. He's tripping over a girl, and he swore he'd never do that again. Never, ever again. "Shit."
"You also aren't right here, Kade. You are most definitely wrong."
His head snaps toward his cousin. "Excuse me?"
"She's been completely honest with you from the very beginning. Even when you deceived her, she was honest and upfront about everything she was doing. Like seeing a guy named Landry. You have no right to get after her if she sees him, and I honestly think if she was going on a date this Friday with him, she'd have told you."
Damn him. He hates when Drew speaks in facts. "It’s fine she's playing us both like pianos?"
"She's not playing anyone. She's trying to make a decision, and each of you seems to think you have some claim on her, but the truth is, Landry's the only one who does. Just a little."
"I should just give up?"
Taking another sip, he rocks and looks up at the night sky. "I think you're trying to force a decision that may or may not end in your favor. She's throwing you a bone by giving you an opportunity to plead your case, but that girl owes you nothing."
"I don't know if I can just walk away from her, Drew."
"Kind of sounds like you already have."
"No, she walked away from me. Before and tonight."
"You didn't stop her before. Your actions made her make that decision. And tonight, you kind of forced her to."
Kade knows he had an opportunity to stop Jess that night they talked after she saw him with Lena. He could have told her their relationship was getting too deep, and he was scared. That being scared made him do something stupid he didn't really even want to do, and he regretted it the moment he saw her face in his kitchen. He knew he was wrong, but he was too stubborn and prideful to admit it.
"What do I do?"
"Give her space. Let her breathe and live her life. She'll come back if she's meant to."
"What if she doesn't come back?"
Drew gives him the same sad expression he did the day they found their dog had been run over by the neighbor. "You have to find a way to live with it. What you did, what you put her through, that doesn't just go away. The pain she felt will be there for a long time, and she's the only one who can decide if she can put up with it and move past it or not."
"I never meant to hurt her."
"I know you didn't. I think she knows that, too, but it doesn't change the fact you did."
He rocks in his chair and looks out at the moon. "Give her time, huh?"
"Yeah, let her take time and reach out if and when she's ready."
"If she doesn't, can I reach out?"
Drew chuckles. "As long as you don't have any expectations."
How can Kade not have expectations? He wants Jess. He wants her with every ounce of his being.
"Hey, Drew?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm so in love with her, it hurts."
Chuckling again, he watches Drew take a large gulp from the beer, finishing it off. "I know."
"How the hell did this happen?"
"You found the right girl. Too bad it was the wrong time."