20. Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty
O ver a week. It's been over a week since Kade last spoke with Jess, and he listened to Drew's advice. He didn't reach out, even though he feels like he's slowly dying inside. Like the part of him that keeps him alive and thriving shrivels and blackens.
"Is this what she felt like when we ended things before?" Kade asks himself as he stares at the ceiling of his bedroom. "Did she want to reach out but stopped herself every time, feeling like she's slowly going insane?"
Thinking about what Jess thought and felt and experienced when they were apart seems to be the recurring theme in his head lately. He hasn't gone to the bar in weeks, maybe even over a month now, and he wonders if everything he thinks and does is the same as what she thought and did.
Did she click on his contact in her phone and stop right before she hit call? Did she type out a text message only to delete it rather than hit send? Because he's lost count of how many times he's done that since their last conversation.
Calling Drew, he taps his foot. It's only six, so he shouldn’t be interrupting bedtime.
"Dude, it's dinnertime," Drew answers, his mouth full of whatever his wife made for him and the kids.
He remembers when Jess would cook for him. She's a damn good cook. And she looks so hot in her apron in the kitchen, making whatever she decided that day with the ingredients on hand with delicious smells floating throughout the home. He never did get the chance to ask her to cook for him with sexy lingerie on under that apron, and now he may never get the chance.
"Sorry."
"What's going on?"
"She hasn't reached out."
Clanging from his fork on the plate reminds Kade he hasn't eaten since yesterday.
"We kind of thought this might happen."
"Has it been long enough to call her?"
For someone well-versed in women, Kade can't seem to get a handle on how to deal with the situation he has with Jess. Probably because every other situation he's been in hasn't had as high of stakes as this one with Jess. His heart is on the line, and he can't figure out what to do.
"Hold on," he says, and Kade hears the chair scrape on the linoleum floor. "Okay, I had to walk away from the table. Sarah's giving me the evil eye."
"Tell her I'm sorry," he groans. "I'm a needy girl at this point. Tell me what to do, Drew."
Drew laughs. "Hang on, Sarah wants to talk to you."
"Oh, goodie."
He switches the phone to speaker and hears Sarah's voice echo in his bedroom, "Why do you keep interrupting family time, Kade?"
Her tone sounds stern, but he knows she's just giving him shit. "I need dating advice."
"Dating advice? You can't get girls back to your place like you used to? Are you losing your touch?"
"Not the one I want, no."
"Who?"
Rolling his eyes, he sighs. Drew clearly hasn't shared the information Kade told him with his wife. Which could be because he has loyalty to Kade, but he suspects it's more to avoid getting Sarah's hopes up of having Jess back in their life. "Jess."
"Jess-Jess? The woman we all love but you let go of because you're an idiot who can't see she's the best thing that ever happened to you? That Jess?"
"Yes," he grits out.
"Oh, hunny, you're screwed."
He closes his eyes and puts his arm over his eyes. "Thanks, Sarah. Very supportive. Can I talk to Drew again, please?"
"Okay, but he's too nice to tell you that. I'm not, though. Good luck, but you're screwed."
Drew takes the phone and tries to hide his chuckles. "Okay, you haven't heard from her at all since last week?"
"No, and it's killing me. Can I call her now? See if she'll go out with me and listen to me beg her for forgiveness? Again?"
"Is it worth it, Kade? Are you setting yourself up for failure? If she hasn't reached out to you, maybe she's trying to tell you she's done. Officially done."
He runs his tongue over his teeth as he thinks about it. "Maybe, but I have this weird feeling. I have since early this week, but I pushed it down because you told me to leave her be."
"What's the worst that can happen if you call her?"
"She doesn't answer?"
"Then call her."
Kade moves his hand and stares at the ceiling. "Is it really that easy?"
"Yeah. I mean, she's not going to cuss and scream at you if you call, right?"
"She wouldn't do that to anyone. Not even her mom. And that woman deserves it sometimes. She's a piece of work."
"Okay, so she either doesn't answer, or she answers and tells you to get lost in a nice manner. Do you know what you're going to say if she does answer?"
He hadn't actually gotten that far. "No, not really."
"You might want to come up with a plan first. It'll be a little awkward if she waits for you to talk, and you have nothing to say."
"What should I say?"
"I can't do everything for you, Kade. You're the one in love with her."
"You're right," he says and sighs. "Thanks, Drew. Sorry for interrupting family time. Again."
He laughs. "Okay, now go call her and stop being such a girl. God!"
Kade hangs up and stares at his phone. He has no idea what he's going to say to her. Apologize? Tell her he has no idea what he's doing, and he freaked out because he got jealous and scared she fell in love with Landry? Yeah, that's the honest truth, and she appreciates honesty. He thinks. Maybe it’s too much honesty for their situation right now.
He calls her, but she doesn't answer. She doesn't usually screen calls, so he gives it an hour to see if she calls back. Hopefully, she's not ignoring him because she's with Landry like that first night he drove by to talk to her.
After an hour of no call back, he calls again but still doesn't get an answer. He can't decide if she's ignoring him or missed his calls. Either way, he has a weird feeling in his gut.
"If she won't listen to me, maybe she'll read what I have to say," he says and opens up his text messages.
Kade hates brunch. With a passion. He's only ever seen it as an excuse for girls to drink on Sunday morning. But Jess loves brunch. And it's time to step up and make sure she knows he's willing to do what she likes to do.
He starts to worry when she doesn't respond, but when it finally comes through half an hour later, he can't help but wonder if there's an underlying meaning or not.
Is she really sick? Or is she doing what he did when he blew her off to see Lena? Or is this her way of telling him to stay away?
"No, she's not blowing me off. That's not her style. She must really be sick because no matter how mad she is at me, she would never turn down brunch."
"Tuesday?" he exclaims. "It's Friday!"
Jess has taken care of him on more than one occasion, but they were usually self-inflicted. A couple of nights where he went a little too hard and one when he lost a dare to eat gas station sushi. That last one was embarrassing, and he should've known that if a woman was willing to stick around after witnessing and cleaning that up, she was a keeper.
Jumping out of bed, Kade grabs his keys and wallet and heads to his pickup. If she's sick, she should be taken care of like she takes care of others. He races to her house, oddly concerned. He knew he should have checked on her earlier this week when he had that weird feeling. Damn him for listening to Drew and not his gut.
If she's been sick for this long, is she dehydrated? Does she need to go to the hospital?
Kade weaves in and out of traffic before coming to a stop outside her house. He runs up the front porch and pounds on the door, hoping she's awake to answer. Unlike him, she doesn't have a spare key under the front mat.
Finally, after a few minutes, Jess opens the door. She looks much paler than usual, and her greasy hair sits lopsided on the top of her head.
"Kade?"
"Oh, baby, you look terrible."
Jess smirks slightly. "Thanks. You have no idea what that does to my self-esteem."
"You've been sick since Tuesday? Do you need to go to the clinic?"
Shaking her head, she braces herself on the doorframe. "No, I'm on the upswing. Someone's kid at work had the plague, and their parent was kind enough to carry it to the office. It knocked out four of us, and yesterday I thought I might actually be dying. But today is a little better. No more fever."
"Let's get you up to bed."
"I've taken up residence on the couch. There are so many stairs to the bedroom."
Reaching down, he grabs her and lifts her bridal style, kicking the door shut behind him when he steps into the house. "Everyone should sleep in their comfy bed when they're sick. Let's get you tucked in."
"Kade?" she asks, her arms wrapped around his neck to brace herself.
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing here?"
He walks into her bedroom and forces the memory of her and Landry's shadows in here out of his mind. "I was giving you time to call me after that stupid fight, and I couldn't handle it any longer."
She climbs under the covers, her eyelids drooping. "I mean, why did you come over?"
"Because you said you were sick. And sick since Tuesday. I had to make sure you were okay."
"Why?" she murmurs, fighting sleep, but she loses.
He stares at her for a few moments, waiting to see if she'll open her eyes again. When she snores softly, he sighs. "Because I love you."
Sitting on the bed, Kade continues staring at her sleeping form. Her face is pale with large bags under her eyes, but she's still gorgeous. And she'll never ask for help, which makes him love her even more. She'd rather be the one taking care of everyone than asking someone for assistance.
He moves to the living room and starts straightening up, and he decides to wash the blanket she's been using. Carrying it to the washer, he starts it, hoping the machine doesn't wake her.
"Idiot," he mutters and heads back downstairs to the kitchen to see what he can muster up for her to eat.
The fridge holds produce with mold on it, which tells him just how long she hasn't eaten anything real. She also does her grocery shopping on Thursdays or Fridays, so she hasn't had a chance to get anything she may need, let alone prep it so it doesn't mold in its original packaging. Something she always insisted on doing for him.
He gets to work tossing out everything he wouldn't dare eat, remembering he should raise the bar considering he's the man who ate gas station sushi, and wipes everything down just in case. When he steps back, he sees he threw almost all of her food away, and she has next to nothing left. She's a bit of a health nut when it comes to eating at home, so her cabinets aren't filled with the same processed stuff his are. No cans of soup or boxes of rice.
Walking up to check on her, Jess remains passed out and still snoring slightly. Not that he'll ever tell her she snores. It'd make her too self-conscious, and it adds to her quirkiness.
Kade walks back downstairs, grabs her house keys, and slips out, locking the door behind him. It’s his turn to step up.