Chapter 14
SAWYER
W alking away from her takes the strength of a monk. I walk past my bar and collapse onto the couch, knowing alcohol won’t fix anything right now. I’m stuck between two distinct paths, and the thought of choosing one creates a war inside me. My immediate reaction is to be a neanderthal and demand that she admit she’s mine and never let her leave me again. But my Ivy instincts know that in order to move forward she needs to make every decision for herself. If she left me because she needed to be independent, then the last thing I should do is force her to stay. I must be crazy to still want this woman after a decade apart, and the mayhem she left in her wake. But seeing her again is like surfacing after being pulled under by a wave. I want the opportunity to know her again. I want to hear every detail of what she’s been through, what her life has been like before it crashed and burned. I also want to hunt down the motherfucker that hurt her. It fucking killed me to hear she isn’t happy. She may have plans to leave Aspen Ridge, but I’ll be damned if she leaves in the same state she arrived.
I want her to be happy.
I want that to be with me.
But Ivy needs to choose me.
I pull out my phone and click on Reid.
Me: You were right. She’s in a rough place. I don’t like it but I’m glad you were there for her for whatever went down earlier.
Reid: Is this your way of apologizing?
Me: I won’t apologize for blowing up on you. She’s off limits. That’s a hard line. I’m giving you a pass this one time because of our history.
Reid: I didn’t mean any harm, brother.
Me: I know
Reid: You handling everything okay?
Me: Fuck no. I want her back, Reid. So fucking bad. But she needs to come to me. I can’t force her.
Reid: I don’t know her story but you’re right, man. You can’t force her. It’s clear she’s got some shit to work through
Does he think I don’t fucking know that? I run my hand through my hair before tugging on the ends. Fuck. The power this woman has over me is unreal. I feel unhinged when it comes to her.
Reid and I go way back. We’ve been friends since college. He had some serious shit go down that brought us even closer when I dropped everything to take care of him. I saw him through his darkest days and he’s done the same for me.
I know his heart bleeds nothing but pure love. Yesterday I would have said that nothing could ever come between us, and today I know for a fact I’d put him six feet under without feeling an ounce of remorse if he ever put his hands on Ivy.
Me: She does. We both do.
I close out of my message with Reid and drop my phone on the coffee table.
Fuck. I can’t believe Ivy is here. I never lost hope that I’d see her again someday, but fuck if it doesn’t gut me to see her in so much pain. She’s so goddamn beautiful, though, even with the life dulled behind her gorgeous eyes. My dreams didn’t do her justice. I’d do anything to bring that life back to her. I spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, restless on the couch, scared to wake up and find out everything was all a dream, or worse, that she’s run again.
I wake with the sun and make my way to the kitchen for coffee. I drop a pod into the Keurig and grab my phone while it brews. My finger hovers over the sibling group chat and I debate whether or not to text them all or just Dallas. I decide word of mouth will eventually spread and they might as well hear it straight from the source.
Me: Taking a few days off. Dallas, you got things covered?
Carter: Jesus, you’ve never taken time off.
Kins: Everything okay big brother?
Dallas: You know I do. Can’t promise the she-devil will be there when you return but I’ve got it under control. What’s up?
Me: Need you all to keep this to yourself. I’ve got your word?
Liam: You know you do. What’s going on?
Kins: Type faster, you’re making me so nervous
Me: Ivy’s back.
Dallas: What?
Me: I’m not going to get into details right now.
My phone immediately rings, it’s Dallas, I pick it up and whisper.
“Hold on, I gotta step outside.”
I grab my coffee mug and sneak out to the back porch, closing the door quietly behind me.
“Hey.”
“That’s some bomb you just dropped, Sawyer. Considering you just snuck your ass outside, I’m assuming she’s at your place?”
“You’d assume right. But it isn’t what it sounds like.”
“Then what is it? Cause I’ve got my keys in my hand and ready to head to your place. Give me something.”
“I’m fine. Stay where you’re at. I need you to handle things at work for the rest of the week. She just showed up out of the blue.”
“At your place?”
“No. Her parents’, hiding out like a little criminal. Reid ran into her, that’s a story for another day. But then he told me she was in town, and I stormed over there and hauled her ass over to my house like a caveman.”
“How’d that go over?”
“She didn’t put up a fight, actually. She’s been through some shit. She’s pretty defeated. There’s no light behind her eyes anymore.”
“Fuck, man. And how are you doing?”
“Shocked. Processing. The adrenaline of everything coming together last night has worn off and I feel pretty numb right now. I don’t know her plan, but I’m going to do whatever I can to figure it out.”
“You want her to stay?”
“You know the answer to that, Dallas.”
“Look, I’m not happy with her. It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than just her showing back up in town and waking up in your bed for me to forgive her. Whatever happens between you two, you’re going to have to give the rest of us time. You know that right?”
“I get it. And I didn’t say I forgave her. But I’m going to figure this shit out and move forward. Whatever happens, at least I’ll get closure this time.”
“No matter what, you got us. I’ll hold down the fort.”
“Don’t burn everything to the ground in my absence, please. And for fuck’s sake don’t fire Blaire. I don’t know if anyone else would put up with you.”
“No promises.”
We hang up and I read the ten missed texts from the group chat.
Kins: Holy. Shit.
Carter: Are you fucking with us?
Kins: Omg. Wait, are you serious?
Liam: Wtf. Are you okay?
Carter: She’s back for good?
Kins: Sawyer!
Liam: He’s probably talking to Dallas
Carter: That’s bullshit. Sawyer, wtf man
Kins: Come on. You can’t drop that bomb and then forget about us. Wtf?
Me: Dallas called me
Kins: Of fucking course he did, while the rest of us are forced to wait. Can you please fill us in now?
Me: I said I wasn’t going into details right now. Ivy is back in town. I don’t know her plans. I don’t know what it means. She’s just here right now.
Kins: Like here as in AR or here as in your house?
Me: Both
Kins: Sawyer please be careful. I know I was too young to fully understand but I don’t want you to get hurt.
Me: I’ll fill you guys in later. Keep it to yourselves and for the love of God don’t tell Mom and Dad.
I pocket my phone before opening the glass door and sneaking back into the house. The sight in my kitchen stops me in my tracks, coffee mug halfway to my mouth. Ivy is wearing nothing but one of my T-shirts. Her back is to me, and she’s on her bare tiptoes as she reaches, searching the cabinets, presumably for a coffee mug. Her long, lithe legs are on display, and her ass peeks out of the bottom of my T-shirt. I groan and cover it with a cough. She spins to face me, leaning against the counter, and places one of her hands over her heart.
“Jesus, Sawyer. You scared the shit out of me.”
“Sorry. Morning. Get any sleep?”
“Uhm, kind of, I guess. Thank you. Mugs?”
“How about we go get some coffee and breakfast out?”
She fidgets with her hands and shifts from foot to foot. I didn’t realize my plan until I said it. I know she doesn’t want anyone in town to know she’s here, but she can’t stay locked up like a hermit forever.
I’m going to show her what life could have looked like here with me.
“C’mon. I’ll drive you back over to your parents’ so you can change, and we’ll go get some breakfast.”
“I don’t know, Sawyer. I don’t think anyone wants to see me.”
“You won’t know until you show your face again. Stop being so mean to yourself.”
Her hands move to the hem of my shirt and she plays with it between her fingers while biting her bottom lip before meeting my eyes again.
“Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Let me go put my clothes on from last night, I can just wear those and we can go.”
She walks to the edge of the room before hesitating and looking back at me sheepishly.
“Can we take your motorcycle?”
I choke on the sip of coffee I had just taken. She wants to be on the back of my bike?
Clearing my throat, I rasp, “Fuck yes we can.”