Chapter 71 #2
Everything inside me begged to grant her wish. Our wish.
A tear slipped from her eye.
“Davian, I…”
That was all I let her say before I pressed my lips against hers, without closing mine, and, without hesitation, pushed through the gap between her lips.
She sighed softly, sending shivers through my entire body.
Her tongue greeted mine as if she’d been waiting for this for years, immediately dancing around mine, and we locked our lips together.
Her free hand landed on my cheek, slid into my hair, and everything about that tender, longing touch sent waves of tension across my skin until I, too, sighed against her lips.
I wanted more.
Desperately, I pulled back only to press myself against her again, without letting go of her lips, licking across her lower lip before trapping it between mine and gently squeezing.
She whimpered, and it sent the blood rushing from my head, down into my pants.
With growing desire, I pressed myself against her lips, pulled her lower lip back between mine with gentle pressure, only to sink my tongue into her again until she sighed once more.
That sound took control of my free hand, which rested on her thigh, which Quill immediately pushed towards me. But I let my hand wander further up until I reached the hem of her blue sweater, carefully sliding it underneath, onto the soft skin of her belly.
So incredibly soft…
My favorite spot.
She clawed at my hair, took control of my lower lip, and bit down gently.
A husky growl escaped my throat, and a moment later I licked her lips until I regained control of her lower lip, clamped it between my teeth, and squeezed lightly.
She moaned softly, and that was the last straw for me.
My hand reached the underwire of her bra, and I didn’t even wait, slipped my hand underneath until I slid over the curve of her breast, covered in goosebumps, and bumped into her erect nipple.
She moaned again, and I licked her lower lip, gently sucked on it before I cupped her tit in my hand and began to knead it.
Her moans filled my mouth, tormenting my cock.
No. This isn’t right.
As if someone might take her away from me, I clawed at her tit, pressed myself against her lips, but tore away from her the next moment, and we both stared at each other breathlessly.
My hand was still holding her tit.
My cock was throbbing.
I wanted to keep going, wanted to let this kiss take control of us, because what it was doing to my body resembled madness.
She came closer to my lips, tried to lean toward me, but I pushed her back against the mantelpiece, causing a sigh to escape her that nearly broke my self-control.
“Enough, Feather…”
She looked at me as if I’d just lied to myself, her lips flushed, slightly swollen, slightly parted…
A second later, my lips crashed against hers again, and she whimpered into my mouth once more.
Again and again I sucked on that sinfully soft skin, biting down with increasing longing while kneading her warm tit until she moaned as if I were already inside her.
If she sounded like that already…
No.
Once again I tore myself away from her, breathless.
“Enough…,” I growled hoarsely.
This time I pulled back, slid far away from her, to the spot where I had been sitting before, and breathed in and out with my chest heaving.
I fought the urge to look at her, but lost.
And this time, it was my eyes that filled with tears.
I didn’t shy away from showing her the depths of despair this woman was plunging me into.
Just because I didn’t take what I wanted didn’t mean I wasn’t thirsting for it like a man dying of thirst.
The tears just escaped my eyes, trickled down my cheeks, until her eyes were just as glassy.
But unlike usual, hers kept coming, more and more, until she turned her head away, tilted it back, and began to sob.
“If I can’t have you, I don’t want this life.”
She sobbed louder, squeezed her eyes shut, and my heartbeat escalated.
“Quill…”
“No.” She shook her head. “No… You don’t understand… Without you, I wouldn’t even be here anymore.” She shook her head, continued sobbing, barely able to breathe. “I stayed here. Because of you.”
She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her head in them.
Here.
She didn’t mean this town.
Us
James Bay
Immediately, I slid back to her, pulled her into my arms, and, just like every time, she buried her fingers in my shirt, right beneath her head.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered in a broken voice. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, no…” I pulled her closer to me. “It’s okay.”
Nothing was okay. I knew what she meant. If she hadn’t been on that bridge that evening, I wouldn’t be here anymore.
She was the reason I was still alive.
Why did I close my eyes to that fact? Why did I want more than I deserved? Things I would have lost anyway if she hadn’t appeared out of nowhere…
“Why does everything feel so heavy, Davian?” she sobbed against my shirt, her voice relentlessly hoarse. “Why do I want to let go over and over again?” She clung tighter. “Why am I so weak?”
“You’re not weak. Life is just giving you too much all at once, before you can even catch your breath.”
Quill looked up. And her tear-stained face broke further parts of me.
“How to breathe?” New tears glistened in her eyes, falling freely. “How does one breathe in this world, Davian?”
I wanted to kiss her head, but this position was too uncomfortable, so I let go of her to get down on my knees.
“Please stay.” She immediately clung to my shirt, looking at me as if I might leave her here. “Please stay… Please don’t leave me alone with myself.”
Fuck. I would never do that.
I reached under the backs of her knees, slid my other arm behind her back until I lifted myself up with her in my arms.
“Come with me.”
She looked at me, confused at first, but then let her head sink against my shoulder, and I carried her from my study to my bedroom.
Lara wasn’t there, and for nothing in this world would I let the opportunity pass to be there for her during the night, too, if I had the chance.
Quill looked up, her gaze wandering around the room until I laid her down on my bed.
I wanted to smirk because she looked puzzled, distracted for a moment.
What I wouldn't give to lean over her, pick up where we had left off, but that wasn't what she needed right now.
I pulled the blanket out from under her, covered her with it, before walking around the bed while she watched me.
I stopped on the other side, began unbuttoning my shirt, but tried not to look at her, because I was already too hard for what I had in mind.
Under her watchful eyes, I took off my shirt, threw it onto a chair, before leaning down toward her on the bed and eventually sliding under the same blanket with her.
She immediately turned toward me, and I pulled her to my chest, feeling her fingers hesitantly brush my stomach and send further electric shivers across my skin before her hands fully rested on my upper body.
I pulled her even closer to me, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then looked down at her.
Red cheeks, glassy eyes with which she looked at me shyly, strands of hair across her face.
Damn, she was everything I could ever have wanted. Why couldn’t that be enough?
“Let it all out. I won’t let go of you. Not even when you’ve fallen asleep.”
I pulled her tighter to me until her nose touched my chest, and she began to weep again.
Gently I caressed her back, placing little kisses on her head, until the sun set and her quiet whimpering turned into steady breathing.
Every now and then she would flinch, letting out soft whimpers.
And every time she murmured my name in her sleep, I pulled her closer to me until she ultimately drifted into a deep sleep.
This was merely the tip of the iceberg I could have. But in order to have the rest, I would have to dive into unknown waters. Knowing that this iceberg reached so deep into her ocean that if I tried to fully savor her, I would drown in her.
I hope that
at least in your dreams,
I can give you what you deserve.
– Leaking Batteries Diary