Chapter 58
CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
ISOLDE
The One gave us the Son, who walked beside Barloc. From Barloc, through the Son, from the One, came the locways and Arcanloc itself. —the Book of Bread and Salt
La’Angi Keep
It wasn’t Audrey’s fault the reek of the room made my stomach turn and my skin crawl.
That wasn’t how I’d expected to find her, and it disoriented me.
I moved carefully, my body aching, my head pounding.
I hadn’t spotted the pirate’s sails in the bay, but nor had I looked.
I lengthened my strides to move past where she’d fallen asleep atop whomever it was, ignoring the dying embers in the fire and going up the circular stairs.
From the corner of my eye, I saw someone’s hand move in a slow, soothing pattern, as if someone was half asleep.
I didn’t look. I was too shaky, after the poison.
If she was cold because the fire had gone out, she could figure that out herself.
I didn’t want to be explaining my appearance to whomever had distracted her last night.
Upstairs I opened windows, breathing in the air that smelled of sea and far off places. There were benefits to being so far above the city.
My hands didn’t shake as I pulled up buckets of water for a bath. I’d expected to find Audrey already awake, but this was fine. I should’ve just sponged myself off and got dressed. I should’ve, but I felt dirty to my core.
Nobility were vile.
Kaelson, to his credit, had been an excellent host.
For all my bravado, there was little that could be done openly about Luca. I’d been in his personal belongings. I had some protection as Audrey’s handmaid, but he was a nobleman. Anything that happened would need to be quiet.
The bucket slipped in my hands and splattered over me.
None of that was Audrey’s fault. She couldn’t change the locways.
Yet.
I hauled up another bucket, focusing on the pull of my muscles, the feel of the rope, the sound of the water pouring, then the swing of the chain as I hooked the bucket back on to be sent down to the kitchens.
There was nothing for it.
I hauled my thoughts back to the water. You’re tired. You’re raw. Who wouldn’t be, in my shoes?
The pretty dress I’d worn could’ve gone up in a wonderful cloud of smoke. Ripping it off my skin would’ve been so cathartic.
Every lace was undone neatly. I threw it in a bucket to soak and went to the bath.
The sun was coming up. Audrey hadn’t slept late often since we’d established our pattern.
If she hadn’t stirred by the time I was clean, I’d meditate by myself.
It wasn’t sleep. I needed that badly. But it was almost as good.
In some ways, it might even be better, right now, given that I had a full day of duties ahead of me.
The soap was thick and slimy in my hands. My belly rolled. I fought the nausea, and grabbed the brush to attack my skin.
Audrey would probably opt to bathe. Elnyta might want to join her.
The thought of being anywhere near intimacy sent disgust creeping into the crevices of my heart.
I rejected it forcibly, climbed out of the water, and scrubbed it off my body.
It wasn’t Audrey’s fault, and I knew better than to let the poison in my heart spread.
Today was renewal. I didn’t reach for the brown dress done with vines and buds all over it.
I didn’t know if I could stand, today. My absence would be remarked upon, but I’d been absent yesterday afternoon as well, and given how hard Black Borough’s people were looking at him, I shouldn’t have been at the top of Luca’s list to suspect.
I was still barefoot when I heard voices. Not just voices. An irritated voice.
The battle energy flooded my exhausted system. Because I was alone, I reached out and took hold of the stone to steady myself. I’d been doing this for too many decades. Last night had been far too close.
A man’s voice—shocked. I couldn’t make out the words. Or mayhap my mind wouldn’t allow me to. But I heard Audrey respond, the irritation gone. I knew the tone well. It was the tone she took when delivering unpopular orders or information in her capacity as lady…and unofficial Duchess.
My blood quickened in my veins. In response the aching in my head started again. I moved toward her, feeling the slight spin the world gave around me.
A decade ago, I used to frequently go for an entire moon with just a few hours of sleep at night.
Run all day, run half the night. Sleep in brief windows when it was safe.
I’d dosed myself on tiny amounts of the commonly used poisons to build up an immunity to them, in case I encountered a fouled arrow or blade in combat.
I’d milked vipers for venom, and I’d sucked the poison out of my Sisters’ wounds when they needed it.
He shouldn’t have been able to combine Green Serpent and Fen Breath. But he had. That was a mage-mixed combination, that was. A skilled mage. My head pounded. I lifted a hand, rubbing my temples as if the pressure might ease some of the ache.
Beneath my feet the familiar stones of her tower were cool and solid.
I took them one at a time. I just needed to recover.
It would pass. We’d deal with Luca. He’d go down in history as Arcanloc’s most unlikely and ineffective rebel.
Mayhap I’d put that on a statue for him.
A statue of a weasel, with his name on it, and his ashes at its feet.
Or, better, Chay could carve a weasel. His carving was perfectly horrendous. It was exactly as Luca deserved.
“…told you,” Audrey was saying.
Braced, I entered the common room that smelled of sex and sweat. The drumming of my heart felt too heavy, and too fast, in my chest. I just needed to recover. I tried to breathe, but the reek had me by the throat. Soon it’d have my eyes watering. I ignored the roaring of blood in my ears.
Sensible as ever, Audrey had pulled a blanket over her shoulders rather than attempt to get back into her gown, which I noticed had been carefully laid over a chair.
Her expression didn’t match the clear, no-nonsense tone she’d taken on.
Her brows were pulled down and her long mouth was tucked a little to one side.
She looked at me like I had the answers.
The nausea made me grit my teeth. I shouldn’t have been nauseous. “Come on,” I told her. The words were soft, even if the hand I offered her could never be.
Relief made her mouth settle into its normal lines. She took a step towards me.
“No. No, this isn’t right.”
The words were distorted, as if they came from the other side of a waterfall. Audrey must’ve heard them clearly, because they made her hesitate.
I flicked my fingers, keeping the movement gentle though every limb demanded movement, every fiber demanded action. Move. I set my teeth against it.
Sometimes, movement was impossible.
“You must see—clearly we ought to wed.”
The rage was white-hot. I was frozen, suddenly, my hand outstretched to Audrey, my guts twisted in my body. My heart roared.
“I’m not going to marry you, Luca!” Audrey whirled, the words like a clumsily swung axe.
There were lines on her skin from where her body had softened in sleep and folded in on itself.
There were shadows on her skin where the muscles and tendons hinted at her strength.
No scars, though. Not on the arm I could see, or across her back.
I tried to breathe but the air was thick.
“You chose last night, Audrey. You can’t take back what’s done, and I wouldn’t, even if I could.”
My hand was locked there, outstretched. I needed her to come to me. I couldn’t go to her. I couldn’t.
She threw her arm out in a big, aggressive motion. “Pardon me, my lord, for enjoying your company, but I will have to decline your offer for any further such dalliances. Please, remove yourself.”
The venom dripped from every word, but it wasn’t for me.
Poison spread, cold, through my body, not from Audrey.
Not even from the man who’d nigh killed me last night.
The poison was deeper. Older. The battle energy was so far away I couldn’t touch it.
I was locked in place. My antivenoms had all been used.
“This isn’t—you can’t—”
“Why the fuck can’t I, Luca?”
The door opened. The spell broke. I grabbed the wall. I struggled to breathe. I struggled to stand.
“Problem?” Chay asked, tightening his belt.
“Minor misunderstanding,” Audrey said. The dignity in those words, the poise, the way she smiled just a little, the tiniest hint of a shrug…my vision dipped and blurred with tears. I couldn’t breathe.
“Audrey.” Luca sounded so upset. He sounded upset. “Audrey—I can’t do this to you. I’ve ruined you. We have to—”
She laughed, the sound bitter and hollow.
“Want me to manage this, Embers?” Chay asked.
“I—yes.” She turned toward me, her hands white-knuckled on the blanket, her jaw tight. I was invisible. Possibly the size of an ant. She moved with so much grace. She was disappointed, and angry. She wasn’t hurt.
I was.
“The only solution is marriage,” Luca was saying. “Whether you like it or not—”
The roar in my head pitched to a high ringing.
“Don’t,” Chay sighed. No anger, just impatience. I was out of step. “Don’t go threatening her, Luca. You know I’ve sworn an oath, don’t you?” It was delivered tiredly. You know we’ve got to do this chore, don’t you? That’s what he said.
It wasn’t a declaration of autonomy, it was just a little detail.
Something small. Every day.
She swept past me, sex and fury. I clung to the stonework with fingers that threatened to give way.