Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
After holding Devyn downstairs for a little while longer, we walked back up together, finding Elsa happily waiting for us. Her tail wagged as Devyn got closer, and she instantly snuggled into her side.
As I closed the door to the basement, Devyn exhaled slowly, crossing her arms over her chest. Now that the spell between us had broken, I could see her walls fortifying. She glanced around the space, trying to find some excuse to keep her distance. It wasn’t going to happen.
I crossed to her with three long strides, crushing my lips to hers. God, how the fuck had I gone so long without a taste of her? Kissing Devyn was indescribable. It was like coming home after a long stretch away. It reminded me of when I was playing ball on those rare occasions I would get to come back into town for a couple of days. Crossing the border of Saint Stephen’s Lake, I could always feel myself start to relax.
But that sensation was nothing compared to having Devyn in my arms.
She matched the ferocity of my kiss, moaning in the back of her throat when I pulled her off the ground. Shit, just that little noise made me hard. My cock had been stiff as a rod since our lips touched downstairs, and now, it was almost painfully throbbing. I needed Devyn, needed to fuck her until she forgot about our past, about my fuck-up, about everything other than the way I made her feel.
When I shifted my hands to her perfectly round ass, I ground her against my cock, needing her to know exactly how much I wanted her. Her eyes widened when she pulled away. “Is that all for me?”
“Only ever you,” I muttered, holding her so close, I thought I might combust right here and now. God, I needed to get my head on straight.
Devyn chuckled and kissed my lips once again. “Bedroom?”
Fuck yes. God, just the idea of Devyn spread out on my bedspread was enough to make me see stars. But looking at her now, her eyes drunk on lust, I couldn’t help but pause, hating there were still secrets between us.
“I want that, Devyn, more than anything,” I sighed, dropping my forehead to meet hers. “But maybe we should wait.”
Her eyes searched mine. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“Not in the fucking least,” I said, capturing her lips once more. “I want you, baby, more than I have ever wanted anything in my whole goddamn life.”
“Then why?” she asked, her voice almost trembling.
God, that cut so deep, I thought I was actually bleeding. Knowing I was the cause of her insecurity made me hate myself even more. I reached out and brushed some of her hair from her face. “I don’t want there to be any secrets between us, Devyn, not if we’re going to cross this line. ”
Her eyes flared, and for a moment, I thought it was fear. But upon second look, I could see there was something else under the surface: guilt. What the fuck did Devyn have to feel guilty about?
Her lips snapped shut, and she motioned for me to let her go, severing our connection. She swallowed heavily, dropping her gaze to the living room. I started to follow her eye-line, but she stopped me. “What secrets are you talking about?”
Her voice had gone cold, almost like I was talking to a stranger. It was concerning, especially given what we’d just shared downstairs. I thought that was the beginning of our fresh start, but Devyn’s reaction made my spine stiffen, wondering if there was more I was missing. While I was fully ready to confess my sins, from the way she was looking at me now, she seemed like she had her own hidden demons, and she was in no rush to tell me about them.
Ignoring that, I went over to the couch and sat down. My elbows found my knees, and I clutched my hands together. My knees refused to stop shaking, anxious energy pulsing through me. Devyn reluctantly followed, perching on the edge of the coffee table instead of sitting by my side. Fuck, I hated that, hated that there was so much distance between us after finally getting the taste of her on my tongue.
It would have been so easy to backtrack, to forget there was more to the story, to keep hiding the truth from Devyn, and protect her from all the carefully crafted lies. But I couldn’t, not when lack of trust and communication had doomed us before.
I looked up, exhaling slowly when I found her dark brown eyes boring holes into mine. “You don’t know everything about what happened when we were in Vegas. ”
As soon as the words left my mouth, Devyn froze, all her muscles stilling. She looked like she was barely breathing, probably terrified over what I was about to say. After all, I was the one who suggested we give our marriage a real shot, only to pull the rug out from under her. And now that I’d exposed all those healing scars, I was about to reopen them all over again.
“Devyn.” I took her hand in mine. I needed to touch her, needed that contact to know she was still with me. “You need to know I never meant to hurt you. I meant every word I said. I wanted that to be our chance, wanted it so fucking bad, it killed me to walk away.”
“But you still did,” Devyn whispered.
“Because I thought I didn’t have a choice.”
Her brow furrowed as she cocked her head. “What do you mean?”
I shook my head. “There’s a lot I haven’t told you, Devyn, things I’ve done that I’m not proud of.” I held her hand a little tighter. “But everything I’ve done, all of it was for you. I would do all of it again if it meant keeping you safe.”
Her brown eyes went wide. “What do you mean? What did you do, Gray?”
I rubbed my hand over my face, squeezing the bridge of my nose. “It started years ago. You remember that one summer, the one when you came to my house in the middle of the night, your face all bruised?” She nodded. “You told me you walked into a door, but I knew you were lying. You were hiding something from me.” I exhaled. “So the next day, I went to the hotel to confront David.”
Devyn sucked in a sharp breath and tried to pull her hand from mine. “Gray, you didn’t–”
“He wasn’t there,” I finished. “It should have been simple. I was going to confront him and convince him to leave you alone by any means necessary. But then, it all spiraled, and I’ve been trying to unravel myself from this mess ever since.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Devyn said, her voice trembling.
“It was part of the deal I made,” I answered, dropping my gaze down to our joined hands. “You had to be kept in the dark, at least until we figured out our plan. And when we got married…” I cursed under my breath. “It fucked up everything. It put you back in the spotlight and made our connection too public. If we’d stayed together, you could have been caught in the crosshairs, and I—we couldn’t risk that.”
Devyn suddenly stood and paced the living room. She didn’t speak, but I could see the gears turning in her mind. After a long stretch of silence, she turned back to me but kept her arms crossed around her chest. “Tell me exactly what you’re involved with, Gray.”
I forced myself to meet her eyes. “We’ve been investigating David for years, trying to tie crimes to his business dealings, find ways to punish him for all the pain he’s caused.”
“What?” Her face paled, and she held the edge of the table. “Wh—why?”
I stood, unable to hold back the fury coursing through my veins. “Because that fucker hurt you. He tried to destroy every piece of you , and no one else was willing to put him in his place.” I shook my head. “When this first started, I was just a kid, and there was nothing I could really do. But once I had resources at my disposal, I invested as much as I could so we could take him down, to make his kingdom crumble. ”
She shook her head. “You shouldn’t have gotten involved. David is dangerous.”
“Fuck that,” I snapped. “He put his hands on the woman I l—” I cut off before I said something I couldn’t take back. “I would burn the world if it meant keeping you safe, Devyn. I don’t fucking care what happens to me, as long as I know you’re okay.”
She stared before suddenly rushing over to me and throwing herself into my arms. Devyn kissed me like it was our last moment on Earth, as if she couldn’t wait another moment. But all too quickly, she pulled away, staring at me with a new intensity.
“Wait—did you say we ?”