Chapter 30
THIRTY
“Oh my God,” Calla sighed as she walked to the back windows. “I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me. Do you know what I would give to see these views every morning?”
I chuckled from the kitchen, watching as my sister continued to explore every inch of Gray’s house. It was his turn to host the weekly poker game with his friends, and I’d offered to help him set up. He usually had everyone meet up at the restaurant, but this time, I offered to host instead.
He looked at me like I’d lost my mind, and maybe he was right. I wasn’t the hosting kind, never having more than a jar of olives and bottles of vodka in my fridge. But after the past week of domesticity, I thought it’d be fun to try something else out of my routine.
“What the hell?” Calla shrieked from my room. “Have you seen this shower? Please, please, please, tell me you’ve experienced those jets.” She groaned as she walked back into the main living space. “When I’m huge, I’m commandeering that bathtub.”
“Making yourself right at home?” I asked, arching a brow at her. She settled at the kitchen island, propping her head up with her hand. As Calla stared at me, I furrowed my brow. “What’s that look for?”
“I’m liking this version of you, Dev. All domesticated.” I sneered at the word. “Okay, poor word choice. But you look happy, more than you were in the city.”
I couldn’t even try to deny it. I was happier. I felt like a different version of myself, one who wasn’t weighed down by everyone else’s expectations. Without the constant pressure of trying to prove myself, I could finally breathe, letting my walls and defenses drop.
And then, there was Gray. Over the past week, we’d created our own little routine, like a real married couple. It was weird how easily we sank into our roles. We woke up together then made breakfast before Gray planned to go to work. He hadn’t made it on time once this week, all because our stolen kisses and touches turned into him bending me over the kitchen island more than once.
When we came down from our high, he’d head down to the restaurant, and I’d stay here with Elsa keeping me company as I continued to sort through our growing pile of evidence against David. As I worked, Gray would call to check in, and I hated to admit how much I looked forward to each and every call. It was…nice to have someone do that for me, to want to make sure I was taking care of myself.
It shouldn’t have surprised me. Gray was always good at taking care of the people close to him. He’d looked after me for most of our lives, and now, he was doing the same thing with his parents. He tried to be stealthier about it with them, though. Both Marta and Curt were proud people, and it was probably hard for them to accept Gray’s help. But he didn’t mind, stopping over at the house every night before he came back here .
A part of me felt guilty he was staying here with me every night, especially after he told me more about his father’s diagnosis and their possible next steps. Fear and regret tinged his words as he talked about the assisted living facility the doctor kept recommending. He was supposed to tour the facility with his mom in the next couple of weeks. He’d asked if I’d come along, but I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. It was a family thing, and I didn’t want to take away from the purpose of the visit.
“What is that look about?” Calla’s voice broke me out of my train of thought. “Your smile just dropped.”
I sighed, putting aside the bowl I was absent-mindedly mixing. “I was thinking about Marta and Curt.” I shook my head. “Gray asked if I wanted to go see them, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
“Why?” Calla asked as she reached across the island and stole my whisk. She ran her finger along the side and moaned as she popped it into her mouth. “They both love you, and you’ve always loved them. You were practically their second kid growing up.”
“I used to be,” I insisted. “Who knows how they feel about me now? And with Gray?—”
Calla’s lips curled into a smile at my words, my cheeks filling with a warm blush. Her expression turned almost feline as she leaned in closer. “What with Gray?”
“Something happened with Gray,” I said quickly, getting the words out before I could change my mind. “I, uh, I think I’m falling for him.” Again . But I kept that part to myself.
Calla went quiet for a long moment, long enough that I started to move toward her. But as soon as I took a step, she let out a loud whoop. “I knew it!” Calla said as she smiled gleefully. “I bet Theo fifty bucks you two were going to get together, but I didn’t think it’d be this quick! I doubled up, sure he’d make you wait at least a month before giving in.”
“Okay, I don’t know what I hate more: that you’re making bets about my love life, or that you thought Gray would be the holdout.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “You know you love me. You just hate that I’m right.”
“I’m not going to admit it,” I said, rubbing my fingers over my forehead. “But things are good between us, Calla. Like really good.”
“How good?”
“Good enough that I’m terrified,” I chuckled, but it held no warmth. “It feels right, being with Gray like this. But what if that’s just because it’s new? Maybe I’m reading too much into it and it’s not the start of anything, just some old feelings coming up.” I swallowed heavily. “What if this is a fling, something to get this tension out of our systems finally? What if it’s just closure?”
“Is that what you want?”
“No.” I wanted everything with Gray, but without a plan for our future, I wasn’t sure how it could even work. Being around Gray was as easy as breathing, but that had never been our issue. What we lacked was timing. Our lives were always passing ships, one having to give up something to be with the other.
“Devyn…” Calla said, her tone more serious than it was minutes ago. “I love you more than I can put into words, but we both know you’re not good at letting people in. And if I know you like I think I do, you’re probably running through every scenario in your mind, finding some way to convince yourself this will never work.” She reached out and took my hand. “But you’re forgetting one thing.”
I swallowed. “What? ”
“It’s just—this is Gray, Devyn.” She smiled at me. “ Your Gray. He’s always been your person, and you’ve finally found your way back to each other. Don’t let the fear win.”
“I wish it was that easy.” I shook my head, remembering how we claimed each other that first night. He’d called me his, and nothing had ever felt so right—like the pieces of my heart were finally sliding back into place. I groaned. “I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t be talking to you about this. I’d get it if you hated me now. After all, he was yours first.”
Calla rolled her eyes, and her hand fell to her belly. “I think we both knew that’s not true. Gray and I might have dated, but it was never what you two share. It’s taken me years to see it, but now that I have Theo and know what it means to love someone truly, it’s so clear. Gray has always been yours, Devyn, just like you were always meant to be his.”
“Were you scared?” I asked, hating the vulnerability in my words. “When you fell for Theo?”
“Terrified,” Calla chuckled. “Theo was the last person I wanted to fall for. God, he’d never even been in a relationship before, and he was so damn grumpy.” She smiled softly and rubbed her hand over her protruding belly. “For a long time, I tried to hold back, sure we would never work out. I’ve never been so happy to be proven wrong.” My sister paused for a moment. “You want my advice?”
“Obviously. That’s why I’m asking.”
“And there’s the smart-ass I know and love,” Calla groaned. “But honestly, Devyn, take it day by day. Enjoy this time with Gray. Stop worrying about what could be and enjoy the fact that you two are together right now.” Her smile faltered for a moment. “We both know how quickly circumstances can change.”
The next day, I sat back in my chair in the dining room, staring at the images taped to the wall. After an hour of staring blankly at them on the table, I thought a change might help, so I decided to emulate some of my favorite TV detectives. But no matter how long I stared at the files, nothing seemed to connect. They were just a bunch of numbers and transactions that made no sense—not without the key to how they all connected.
The closest I’d come to anything about Saint Stephen’s Lake was a shell company’s PO Box with the same zip code, but that was a dead end. There weren’t any business listings, no other addresses, no other financial records. It could have been nothing, but my gut wouldn’t let it go, not until we’d pulled on every single loose thread.
The door opened, and Elsa jumped up at my feet, barking to greet Gray. “Hey, Ace?” he called out. “You home?”
Home. The simple term brought a smile to my face. How was it only a month ago, I was so desperate for Gray to sign the divorce papers and free me from him? Now, the thought made my stomach drop. I hated the idea of severing our marriage, no matter how unconventionally we started.
“In here,” I answered as I stood from my chair.
He walked into the dining room holding out a bag of takeout. Before he looked at all the documents covering his space, he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. It was nothing Earth-shattering, but it still made my heart want to soar. It was the kind of kiss that promised a lifetime of greetings just like this one.
Gray leaned back and brushed a couple of strands of hair away from my face. “You look like you’ve been busy. ”
“Wish that was true,” I groaned. “I keep looking over all of this stuff, hoping something magically jumps out at me.”
“No such luck?”
“None at all,” I groaned, reaching for the take-out bag. “God, this smells amazing.”
“Yeah,” Gray sighed as he took off his coat and hung it on the hook by the door. “My mom was making dinner when I stopped by and insisted I take some with me.”
Guilt sank the elation in my chest, and I rubbed the spot, hoping to soothe some of it away. I cleared my throat, moving into the kitchen to grab some plates and utensils. As I dug in the drawer, Gray wrapped his arms around my waist, inhaling the spot beneath my ear. “Fuck, I love coming home to you, Ace. Look forward to it all day long.”
“Me too,” I said, but my tone betrayed me.
Gray’s hand tightened on my hips, shifting me so we were chest to chest. He gazed down at me, then ran his fingers along my jaw. “What’s going through that head of yours?”
I tried to embody my sister’s courage, knowing it wouldn’t do us any good if I buried every uncomfortable feeling that came up. “I feel bad,” I admitted. “You came back here to help your parents, and now you’re here with me all the time. I don’t want to distract you, not when they really need you.”
“You’re not distracting me from anything, Devy.”
“Aren’t I?” I asked, daring to meet his steely eyes. “You’ve been spending all your nights here, and I know you worry about them, especially your mom. If you want to go stay there, I’d completely understand.”
Gray reached around my waist and pulled me into a loose hug. “I know, Ace. And I’ve been thinking about this a lot too.” He pulled back to meet my eyes. “I talked to my mom about it today. I’m happy to go there as much as she needs, but we both agreed—I can’t stop living my life either. Before you came to town, my entire world revolved around my dad’s diagnosis and his treatment plan. As much as I wanted to help, it was leaving me feeling hollow.” He squeezed my hips. “I needed to find balance, and you’ve helped me with that. So yes, I’ll keep going to all the appointments and checking in during the day, but we’re going to hire a night nurse to help my mom.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“More than anything,” Gray said. “I want to enjoy this time with my dad, not be so worried about his meds and everything else that I miss those moments.” I reached up, placing my hand on his cheek. He took it in his grasp, turning it to kiss my palm. “And I really fucking want a life with you, Devyn. I want to be here.”
His words thrummed in my chest, and I felt the promise written in them. These were more than pretty words, more than just a promise to ease my doubts. This was the start of something that could be wild and beautiful, just like the flowers that covered these hills after the snow melted away.
“I like the sound of that.” I lightly pressed a kiss to his lips. “I like having you here too.”
“Yeah?” he said, letting his fingers trail along my exposed skin. “Do you like being here?”
His words gnawed at me like I was about to expose something I didn’t even know how to admit to myself. When I first came up here, it was supposed to be a temporary solution, a place to rest my head while looking for more clues about David’s dealings. It should have been a stop along the way, but now, Saint Stephen’s Lake felt a lot more like my destination. It had been my first home, the place I met Gray, and the backdrop for so many of my best and worst moments.
This small, quiet town was the opposite of the big city future I had imagined, but it fit me. At least, this new version of me. The idea of going back to eighty-hour work weeks with no time for anything personal made my skin crawl.
I loved this quiet version of my life, especially if it included a tall, tattooed former baseball player at my side.
“Yeah,” I said, my words hushed and low. “I think I love it here.”
Gray’s resulting smile was almost blinding. He pulled me into his arms, lifting me until my feet dangled off the ground. As I wrapped my legs around him, Gray chuckled, “Does that mean I get to move your things into my room?”
I rolled my eyes. “The room is literally across the hall from yours. Does it really bother you if my stuff is in there?”
“Hell yes, it does,” Gray said, kissing my neck. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it for real, Ace. You’re gonna be tucked against me every night, and I’m gonna wake up to you every morning.”
I toyed with the hair that had slipped out of his bun, smiling like I hadn’t in years. “I guess that could be arranged.”
“Good,” he chuckled, walking us out of the kitchen into our bedroom. “Just got used to having you in my bed, Ace. Don’t think I could go back if I tried.”