Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
I glanced at Devyn, who was squirming in my passenger seat. She plucked at the edge of her seatbelt, her eyes darting to the side window and back to the front. Her anxiety was coming out in waves, and honestly, it was starting to make me nervous as well.
No, I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea . A knot had burrowed itself into my stomach from the moment we left the house. I knew at some point, Laurel and Devyn would have to cross paths, but for some reason, I expected it to be when we had something to share. When I called Laurel to tell her Devyn knew about our investigation, the last thing I expected was for her to demand a meeting with all of us, Tomas included, to discuss our collective findings. The order had irritated me. It completely pissed off my wife. Devyn was not used to being bossed around, and I had a feeling it would only get worse when the sisters were face to face.
I reached across the console and took her hand, bringing it up to my lips. As I pressed a kiss to the back of her knuckles, she gradually relaxed. “I’ll be with you,” I promised, “the whole time. And if you don’t want to do this, we can turn around right now.”
“Laurel wouldn’t like that,” she deadpanned.
“Fuck what Laurel wants,” I bit out. “You’re the one I care about. You don’t have to meet with her unless you want to. I’ll make sure of that.”
She hummed in agreement but said nothing else, continuing to stare out the window. However, that overwhelming anxiety was no longer seeping out of her pores, making the drive a little less tense.
Devyn squeezed my hand as we followed the directions, turning onto a dirt road about twenty miles outside of town. While most of the snow from the storm had melted, it left behind slick conditions, and even my truck was struggling to stay on the right side of the road.
“Distract me,” Devyn said, her voice soft and tense. “Please, Gray. Tell me something that’s going to make me think happy thoughts and not about dying in a fiery car wreck.”
“Shit, Ace, you think I’d let that happen?” I shook my head, about to promise something I could never uphold. But I’d picked this truck for a reason, and it was made for handling this kind of terrain. Plus, with Devyn in the passenger seat, I was being extra cautious. Not only because driving made her nervous, but because I was savoring every minute we had together.
“Please, Gray,” she pleaded, her hand so tight around mine, she was cutting off circulation.
Fuck, now I had no choice but to comply. Something shifted in my brain when Devyn said the word please . I would do anything if she asked. Toying with her fingers, I smirked in her direction. “Keep thinking about you in the shower last night. I’m never going to go in there again without getting hard. The way you took me, baby...” I sighed, looking over at her. “You’re going to be the death of me, Ace.”
“Happy to be of service,” she chuckled, but the sound was forced. She glanced behind her, then turned back with a sly smile. “You know, that back seat looks very roomy. Maybe we could pull over and test that theory.”
Without another thought, I turned the steering wheel and brought my truck over to the side of the road. My hand moved to the back of Devyn’s neck, dragging her over to kiss me. Her lips collided with mine, and I held her tight, needing the feeling of her against my skin. Devyn was my addiction, and I had no interest in being cured. She tasted like cinnamon and vanilla thanks to her latte from earlier, and the sweetness of home. It was perfect. Everything about this woman was, even the things that drove me insane.
I forced myself to pull away, even though my entire body rioted in complaint. “I meant what I said, Devyn. You don’t have to do this, but I think it would be good to clear the air with Laurel, figure out how you two can work with, instead of against, each other.”
“Fine,” she groaned and dropped her forehead to my chest. “I know it’s the right move, but the idea of seeing Laurel…” Her voice trailed off. “I don’t know how I’m going to react. I’m still so pissed at her. I’m afraid I’m going to say something so hurtful–” She looked up and searched my eyes. “What if I say something I can’t take back, and she never forgives me?”
I held her tight, bringing her head back down to my chest. Her hands gripped my shirt, holding me so close, I barely knew where she ended and I began. Kissing the top of her head, I said, “You have every right to feel that way. And if you feel yourself getting upset, let me know, and I’ll get you out.” She nodded against me but made no effort to move. So, I kept holding her, willing to stay there as long as it took. “I have you, Ace. Always.”
About half an hour later, Devyn calmed down, and we got back on the road, getting closer to our destination. I didn’t know if it was our talk or just us stopping to breathe for a moment, but my wife was back to her usual self, busting my balls and mocking my shitty taste in music.
The GPS signaled our next turn, telling us we were approaching our destination. We both froze, staring out at the antiquated motel in the distance. It looked like something out of an old horror movie, with its seventies-style sign flickering in a random rhythm, and the muted orange tones. It was enough to make me slow my truck down before pulling into the entrance, suddenly unsure if this plan was such a good idea.
Devyn chuckled at my side. “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now.”
“I just…” I sighed, running my hand over my beard. “I need a minute, Devy.”
She crawled over to my side, pressing against the center console so she could get as close as possible. “Hey, all the same things apply to you. If you want to go, we go. No explanation needed. I have your back just as much as you’ve got mine.”
I nodded as I took her hand. “You and me, right?”
“Now, he’s getting it,” she chuckled, bringing my knuckles to her lips. “You know, maybe what we both need is an incentive to play nice during this meeting.”
“Incentive?”
She smirked at me. “I meant what I said about testing out that theory. We’ve fucked on almost every surface of your house, but we haven’t tried your backseat yet. Maybe that could be our reward after the meeting.”
I reached out and dragged her to me, capturing her lips yet again. Not only was the image of her sprawled out in my backseat making my dick impossibly hard, but I also just needed to touch her. To feel her. To remind myself why we were in this fight, what I had to lose.
She placed her hand on my chest and pushed me back slightly. “I said after the meeting.”
“I know, Ace,” I said, dropping my forehead to hers. “Just to feel you, to remember this is real. That you’re here with me.”
“Always,” she promised. “But we really should get in there. I’m already stressed about having Laurel and Tomas in the same room.”
“Fine,” I groaned but smiled at her so she knew I was teasing. “But I’m holding you to that promise.”
“Good.”
As I shifted back onto the road, a thought washed over me, making my stomach clench in jealousy. I had no right to know how Devyn spent her time when we were apart, and I meant what I told her earlier. I’d never begrudge her for living her life, but I also needed to know what I was walking into.
“So Tomas…” I sighed, focusing on the road ahead of us. “Did you two ever…”
“No,” Devyn blurted out. “We flirted on my first day but quickly realized we didn’t have any kind of spark. I care about him as a friend. That’s it.” My shoulders relaxed at her words, glad I wasn’t going to have to sit across the table from one of her past lovers. The one I’d already met was enough. “Honestly, I only dated a couple of people after you,” Devyn said quietly. “And nothing serious. It was too hard when…” Her voice trailed off, and I dared to look at her.
“When what, Ace?”
“When I compared everyone to you,” she answered. “It was like you were there in the back of my mind all those years, and no one could live up to you.”
“And what about the real me?” I teased.
“You’re even better.”
I turned and stole a glance at her. Devyn was staring at me without any trace of humor in her expression. She meant that. God, how could I have ever survived without this woman? With only a few words of praise, I was on cloud nine, ready to take on the entire world.
But despite that feeling, there was one thing I couldn’t get out of my head. “What about that Jack guy? He seemed to think the two of you were pretty serious.”
Devyn snorted. “If he did, he was delusional. I think he liked the idea of me more than the actual version. We only hung out a few times, and I was clear I wasn’t looking for more from him.”
“He didn’t seem like your type.”
“This is going to sound really bad.” Devyn paused, and my heart thundered in my chest. But just as I was about to ask her what was wrong, she continued, “Do you remember going to a Gala at the New York Museum last year?”
I furrowed my brow, trying to think back on my former social calendar. Oh, shit. It suddenly clicked. It was one of those major fashion house events every celebrity wanted to attend, and my former agent set me up with some actress. I’d already fired him at that point, tired of him selling my secrets to the press. I would have canceled, but her agent begged me to keep up appearances, not wanting her embroiled in a scandal right before her newest movie released. It was a long night, not only because the press was hounding me, but also because I started to believe the “date” wasn’t as innocent as I was led to believe, especially after the actress stuck her tongue down my throat right in front of all the cameras.
“Vaguely,” I answered. “That was a long fucking night, so I’ve tried to forget it.”
Devyn toyed with her hands, turning to look at the passenger side window. “I was there too.”
“You were?”
She nodded. “It was right after Calla went to work with Theo, before you came on as a client. She was nervous about going with him, so she asked me to tag along as a buffer.”
I shook my head. “No. I would have seen you there.”
“No, you wouldn’t have,” Devyn said sadly. “We were only a few feet away from each other, and you didn’t notice me. You were too wrapped up with your date.” she sighed. “And I hated that seeing you affected me so much. So, I decided if you could move on, so could I.” She shook her head. “But I felt even worse after, so I stayed away from him…until Alex and Cole’s engagement dinner.”
My blood stilled, remembering that moment all too well. Devyn met my eyes from across the room, and it was like all the air escaped my lungs. It was the first time we’d seen each other in person since Las Vegas. At least, that was what I thought at the time. I wanted to talk to her, wanted to explain, wanted to say something that would erase the hurt in her eyes, but before I could make my way through the crowd, she was gone.
“It was too much,” she said. “Being in town, being in the same room as you. It felt like the walls were closing in around me, so I did something stupid to try to escape.” She laughed, but the sound lacked warmth. “So now you know some of my worst mistakes.” She turned, giving me a sad smile. “Still sure you want to be with me?”
I took her hand. “Devyn, we’ve both made plenty of mistakes. We’re human, we’re going to fuck up. I’m not here with you because I expect you to be perfect. I’m here because I see you, flaws and all, and I’m crazy about you.” I squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Plus, I’ve met the douchebag. I don’t feel sorry for him at all.” She let out a bright laugh, and I took it as a sign she was feeling better.
I let go of her hand and hit the blinker, forcing myself to pull into the parking lot. As I shifted the car into park, I turned back toward her. “But do me a favor, Ace?” I kissed her one last time before turning off my truck. “You ever need to fuck your feelings out again, make sure it’s my dick you’re using.”
She smiled so brightly at me, it rivaled the sun. “That I can do.”