69. Chapter Sixty-Nine
The next two days pass mostly the same. Chris and I spend the day together, hanging out and having fun. Being lazy and not worrying about anything. Cole goes to work, comes home to cook, and we eat dinner together. It’s all normal. Routine. It’s nice. Chris is getting better each day. He has more energy, and his bruises are going away. He says the headaches aren’t as bad as they were. We were planning on going to Mila’s tonight, but I’m really not up for it, so Chris is going alone.
It’s not that I want to be here alone with Cole, but this week has been stressful on me. I’m not ready to put on a happy face for so many people, but Mark and Onyx will be there too.
Chris still remembers nothing. I’m worried he may never while also worrying that he will at any second. He has a follow up with his doctor next week, and I told him to make sure he calls me and lets me know what happened since I won’t be here.
“You going to drop me off in your fancy car?” Chris asks when I get downstairs.
“Was hoping your dad would, but if you really want me to?” I plop onto the couch beside him.
“I’m so bummed you aren’t coming,” he says.
“I’m sorry. I’m just so tired. The time change, stress… I just don’t feel like socializing.”
“I get it. It’s how you’ve always been, so I shouldn’t expect anything different.”
My phone dings with a text.
Cole: I’ll be home late.
Me: How late?
Cole: About 7 probably
“Why is he texting you and not me?” Chris asks.
I freeze and glance to my side. Chris is right there, looking at the texts.
I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s worried about your headaches.” I get to my feet. “What time are you going to Mila’s?”
“Five,” he says slowly, watching me with a strange look.
“Well, we have a few hours. Wanna go in the hot tub?”
He shakes his head. “Nah, I think I’m going to take a nap.”
“Okay…”
He lays down on the couch and closes his eyes.
That was definitely weird.
I head up to my room and grab my laptop to check on work emails.
I text Cole too.
Me: Next time, let your son know, not me.
Cole: Uh, okay. Sorry?
Me: He saw the text and questioned it.
Me: What if he remembers?
Cole: He could remember anyway.
Me: Well, I don’t need you doing something to trigger it.
Cole: Sorry.
That’s it. That’s all I get. A pitiful sorry.
I toss my phone to the bed, get on my laptop, and do some work until about 4:30 when I go downstairs to wake up Chris. He gets ready quickly, and we leave to drop him off.
How am I going to explain leaving the car here when I leave? I hadn’t thought about that until now. There needs to be some truths I give Chris, or I’m going to drive myself insane. What if he never remembers anything? How am I going to keep up with all these lies I’m telling him? Especially when I’ll be so busy back in Boston with work and everything else.
“This car isn’t a rental. It’s mine,” I blurt out.
“Uh, okay,” Chris says, frowning at me. “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?”
“I felt weird about it. Like I was giving you information you weren’t supposed to have. I know that’s stupid, but I was so worried about your memories and didn’t know what to say.”
“It’s fine,” he says, sighing.
He’s as tired of this bullshit as I am. I know it. Being in my position is hard enough. I can’t imagine being on his end of it. Knowing everyone around me knows all sorts of things about my life that I don’t? I think it would drive me insane. How do you deal with something like that?
Hopefully spending time with Mila will make him feel better. Being with people other than me will be good for him. Or really bad if they trigger something to make him remember.
“You wanna come in and say hi?” he says when we get there.
I shake my head, staring ahead. My mood has only gotten worse on the ride here, and I feel bad because it isn’t his fault, but I have no energy left to fake a cheerful mood.
Chris doesn’t say anything as he closes the door and heads up the driveway. I pull out my phone to text Mila and let her know that if she needs anything, to call me immediately and I’ll come get him.
I feel like I’m dropping off my child and I’m worried about him misbehaving. It’s ridiculous. But also a little funny, I guess.
On the way back to Cole’s, I consider texting Tomas to see what he’s up to. We haven’t really spoken since I left. But then I remember I have the house to myself, and figure that’s way better than spending time with anyone. I should at least text him to tell him I’m in the area though. We were sort of friends…
I eat a bunch of leftovers, grab a few bottles of water, and retreat to my room for the night. Mila said she’d drop Chris off later, so at least I don’t have to worry about moving again.
I lie in bed and find a movie to watch. It’s quiet, the movie is somewhat entertaining, and I find myself relaxing. Until out of nowhere, my dick gets hard. I stare down at it, offensively.
What the fuck is going on here? This never happens to me. I know that’s strange, but it’s true. I don’t deal with random boners, not since I was fucking Cole all the time. I ignore it and keep watching the movie.
But it doesn’t go away.
I glance at the clock. It’s a little before 6:30. Okay, I have plenty of time to handle this before Cole gets home. Besides, maybe it’s the little extra I need to relax more. I open the drawer in the nightstand and dig around. I know there was lube in here, and I’m grateful when I find it. Leaning up against the headboard, I shove my sweats down below my balls, lube up, and go at it. The relief is instant.
Every time I do this, which isn’t often, I tell myself I need to do it more. It’ll help with stress. It feels good, and feeling good is fucking amazing. But my dick hardly distracts me enough to worry about it.
I can already tell it’ll be quick. It’s a plus of not jerking off often. When I want to, I’m not doing it for long. I’m not into edging—at least not alone—or prolonging anything. I want to come, get rid of my hard dick, and be done with it.
Pleasure rolls through my body. My eyes fall shut, and my free hand grips the blankets. I’m so close, so I jerk myself faster. I tug my shirt up so I hopefully don’t make a mess, and when I come, it’s with a low moan. Cum paints my stomach, a fucking lot of it. It’s been so damn long since I’ve done that. I lie there for a minute, my heart pounding and trying to catch my breath.
A sound from the hallway has me jerking my eyes open, and when I look, there he is.
Cole.
Standing. Staring. Gawking.
Eyes full of heat.
Thick outline in his pants.
His hands balled into fists.
We hold each other’s gaze for a long time. I don’t know what to do. I want to put my dick away but seeing him has me getting hard again. And though that isn’t a reason to not put it away, holding onto it just feels good. Like I could go again.
How does he always do this to me?
He isn’t even the one touching me this time.
I swallow hard, hoping he’s just going to walk away.
Thankfully he does.
He storms to his room, slamming the door shut. And because I’m me, I feel I need to apologize. I should have closed the door. Shouldn’t have done this at all. But he said he would be home around seven. I thought I had time.
I tear my shirt off and clean myself up before going to his room and knocking on the door. He pulls it open a second later, still looking the same way. Heated. Lustful. Like he wants to ravage me. Like he’s about to lose his handle on his control any second. It’s tempting. He is so tempting.
Nervously, I run a hand through my hair. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to say to him, and now? I’m not so sure. So I just start speaking. “That wasn’t—I didn’t… Uh, I wasn’t trying to—”
“I know,” he grits out.
“I just…” I look to my room, then back to Cole.
“Its fine, Bryson. Not like I haven’t caught Chris a thousand times.”
Yeah, but this is different.
I want to say that. Of course I don’t.
I nod. “I’ll close the door next time.”
“Good idea.”
My gaze flicks past him to his bed. I miss sleeping in there with him. Now that I’m just standing here, I realize how overwhelming his scent is. I crave the comfort he gives me. But I can’t take it.
I should have left his room a mess, so I wasn’t tempted by his smell.
“Did you need anything else?” he asks, his tone clipped.
I shake my head and step back. “No, sor—”
He closes the door in my face before I can get the word out. I frown at the door, stepping forward to open it and tell him off. But I pause.
Tell him off for what?
Closing the door in my face? It’s his house. He can do what he wants. I’m the guest here. This is such a typical Cole thing to do. Something I never would have taken offense to before because it’s just him. This is the part he shows other people, and that’s the problem. I’m not used to being on that side of things anymore. I saw all the best parts of him, and it’s what I’m used to. How do I go back to having a normal relationship with him, knowing everything I know about him now? So many lines have been crossed. Everything is blurred. I don’t know what is normal and what is him being mad. Reading him isn’t as easy as it was before.
I turn to leave.
That’s when I hear it.
I pause, closing my eyes.
There it is again.
Goddamnit…
I grit my teeth, turning to face the door and stepping close to it. I put my ear against the wood.
Another groan.
Dickhead.
He’s doing this on purpose. He knows I’m out here.
Doesn’t he? Or is he just taking care of himself because he has to? Because he saw me? He couldn’t possibly know I’m still standing out here, could he?
I reach for the doorknob but pull my hand away.
No, Bryson. Don’t do it. Don’t fucking do it.
His groans get closer together. Longer. Deeper.
Fuck, I’m so hard. I hate that he’s in there touching himself. Making himself come. Because I want to be the one to do that. I want to be the one to make him feel good. I want to watch him the way he just watched me. Keep things fair…
Fuck it.
I’m doing it.
I’m going in.
Fuck everything, I want this.
I’m leaving on Monday. I may as well just go in here, get one last fuck in, and be done with him forever.
We never got a goodbye fuck.
Well, we can have that now.
I push my way into the room, stopping dead in my tracks when I see Cole standing at the other end of the room.
Exercising.
Yeah. This fucker is doing curls with some pretty big hand weights.
When he sees me, he stops, raising a brow.
“Uh… I, uh—” I stumble over my words, having no idea how to explain this. “I just, uhm…”
“You, what?” he asks.
His brow furrows, and his gaze dips from my eyes to my pants.
To my hard dick, to be more specific. It lingers for a moment before darting back to my eyes and a knowing smirk crosses his lips. His head tilts slightly and his eyes go dark.
“Did you think—”
“No,” I snap.
“No?” he questions, his smirk turning into a grin. “Then what?”
He puts the weights into the corner of his room. They’re new. At least new here. They weren’t in this room when I was here last. I wonder why they’re in here at all and he didn’t turn my room into a weight room. There’s plenty of space in there.
He moves toward me, and I step into the hallway to keep space between us.
“Nothing.” I grab the door to close it, but he slaps a hand on it, stopping me.
“It’s not nothing. In fact, I know exactly what it was.”
Cole crowds the doorway, looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and he’s starving. I should go to my room, should get away, but I’m stuck here, unable to move. Caught in his gaze like a bug in a spider web.
“You guys okay?” We both whip our heads in the direction of the voice, and find Chris walking up the steps, Mila behind him.
He stops at the top, looking at us curiously. His eyes go slightly unfocused, then he blinks a few times. Shaking his head, he clears his throat. Mila moves up beside him.
“Fine,” Cole says, stepping into the hallway. “Oh, hey Mila. How are you?”
She smiles shyly. “I’m good, Mr. Harper. How are you?”
“Pretty good, actually.” He grins at her.
Chris is staring at me. I feel his gaze. I meet his eyes, but there’s barely any expression there. He glances at Cole, then back at me, brow furrowing.
He shakes his head again.
“We were going to go swimming,” he says. Nothing in his tone tells me he knows anything, but those looks… He seemed like he remembered something.
“Well, have fun,” Cole says. “I just finished a workout when Bryson asked if I’d eaten anything. Right, Bryson?” He looks at me.
“Right,” I say.
“You wanna come swimming with us?” Chris asks, looking at me.
“Yes,” I blurt out. “I would love to go swimming with you.”
“But you need a suit, right?” he says.
I smile. “Right.”
He heads into his room and comes back a moment later with a swimsuit. Cole disappears downstairs, and Mila stands in the hallway awkwardly. She knows she walked in on something. What it was, I don’t know. But it was something.
Chris and I change quickly, and the three of us head outside.
Swimming with my friends is definitely what I need to get my mind off Cole.
Thank god I only have a few days left here. My walls aren’t as strong as I thought they were.