Chapter 08
XANDER
Dinner worked out better than expected. At first I was being a bit of an asshole, and I knew it, but Zendius' words had affected me.
My mind kept coming back to the fact that this was a business arrangement, one that met some need the pack had and co-incidentally met my need to be free of my uncle.
It was just... business. No emotions. No matter that my stupid heart fluttered each time I laid eyes on him, or any time he made one of his gentlemanly gestures.
I didn't want to like Darius. He was too good, too accomplished, too smart and too fucking gorgeous.
He didn't need me. He could have taken any other omega as his mate, so why choose me, a total stranger?
It made no sense at all, but if no-one that knew him was willing to do this, then maybe I wasn't getting a very good deal at all.
Maybe he was shit in bed, though I kinda doubted that based on how things had gone in his office. But he had indicated he didn't put any time into his relationships, so possibly that was why no-one wanted this job.
Once we were mated, I'd probably be ignored.
But I mattered, fuck it, and while I might have to accept this mating, I wasn't going to be a fucking doormat.
It was confusing - on the one hand, I wanted him to like me and on the other, I knew it didn't matter because I wasn't staying.
But I didn't want to be treated like I didn't matter.
He was a Pack Alpha. And he had choices. He probably had a lot of choices, I reminded myself. He had position, charm and good looks. Yeah, despite what he'd said, it was hard to imagine him not playing the field. He must have had omegas throwing themselves at him.
We barely spoke on our way back to the packhouse. Truth was,I was scared. I'd never had sex before, and all I could think about was that it was going to hurt. And that kind of made me not want to do it.
But I had to.
It was part of the shifter mating process: sex, knotting, mating bite or bites. I was almost certain I wouldn't bite him back, just on principle, but it didn't matter. Only the alpha's bite was necessary.
We entered our room in silence, my legs feeling like they might not hold me up, but I kept my head up and feigned a level of confidence I didn't feel.
"Are you sure you want to go ahead with this?" Darius must have picked up on my hesitation. "After all, we don't know each other very well. We can wait until we've spent more time together."
"No!" I snapped, more harshly than was warranted.
If we put it off, he might realize he could do better, and he might change his mind altogether. Uncle Maxim's dungeon would be waiting for me in that case, and just the thought was enough to send cold chills skittering down my spine.
"I'm just nervous because I haven't done this before," I added, in a more conciliatory tone.
"Don't worry. I'll try to make it as painless as possible," Darius said, spinning me to face him. He leant down and placed a soft kiss on my lips.
"Just do what feels natural. Don't fight it," he urged. "Why don't you go get yourself ready..." it was more command than request as he directed me towards the ensuite, his alpha side exerting itself in a cloud of pheromones.
I took my time in the bathroom, holding off for as long as I could the moment I would have to present myself to him. The whole traditional ‘presentation’ thing was going to be as humiliating as all fuck, and I was not looking forward to it.
I undressed slowly, showered meticulously and washed my hair, lingering under the water as long as I could, until it ran cold.
I dried myself off. Under other circumstances I would have relished the softness of the thick towels, considerably fluffier than anything I’d used at my uncle’s house, but I was too anxious.
I towel-dried my hair. I briefly considered covering myself in moisturizing lotion to discourage Darius from trying any fake lovey-dovey stuff licking or kissing my skin.
But in the end, I couldn’t be bothered. He was probably going to do it anyway, because he wouldn’t want me to tarnish his reputation as an attentive lover.
I pulled an ugly face in the mirror. It was childish, I knew, but anyway.
Eventually, I couldn’t put it off any longer.
I wrapped my towel tighter around myself, as if it could protect me.
I felt numb. I just had to get through the next twenty minutes or so and then it would be over.
The uneasy roiling of my stomach threatened to bring up my dinner.
I stared at my shaking hand as I reached for the doorknob, and it only shook more.
Darius was still dressed when I stepped out. He didn’t seem to notice how terrified I was, hurrying past me, saying “I’ll be a couple of minutes,” before disappearing into the bathroom.
I looked at the big double bed. What was I supposed to do while waiting? I just stood there, dumbly, starting to feel light-headed. I was afraid I might faint.
Protocol insisted I should present for him.
Would he expect that? There were times I hated being an omega – read between the lines, most of my life – but this was the worst. I heard a shriek as Darius discovered the cold water.
He’d be out in a minute. Reluctantly, I dropped the towel and climbed onto the big bed with its fluffy comforter and puffy white pillows.
I pulled my knees up under myself near the edge of the bed, and lowered my head and chest onto the mattress, putting myself in the traditional 'presentation' position as best I knew how. I hadn’t had any formal etiquette or sex ed but I knew… stuff. My uncle had omegas come to the house from time to time and I’d caught a glimpse of their ‘activities’.
He wasn’t the most respectful of alphas.
Half the time, he hadn’t bothered taking the omega to his bedroom, instead having them strip down and present to him in the living area and taking them there in full view of anyone moving around the house.
If my cousins were home… ugh! It was so disrespectful.
One more reason to lock myself in my room and not come out. So yeah, I knew what to do.
I shuddered. At least here I had the privacy of a bedroom and the door was locked.
Unlike the poor omegas my uncle had brought home, there was no-one other than my alpha to see or participate in my humiliation.
I hurriedly reached up, grabbing a pillow and burying my face in it as I resumed my position.
My pulse thundered in my ears but it couldn't disguise the crack of the bathroom door opening and footsteps entering the room.
“Xander, I was thinking…” Darius’ voice trailed away. There was deathly silence.
“This is how it’s done, isn’t it? I’ve got it right?” I muttered into the pillow as I tried to cover up my awkwardness with my snarky tone.
“Um… it can be, but… it’s not the most respectful and we hardly know each other.
That’s not how I want to do it the first time.
” Darius sounded calm and controlled. At least one of us was.
I was freaking out. And damn it, he wanted to be a freaking gentleman about this, didn’t he?
When all I wanted was just to get it over with.
“It doesn’t matter. Just do it.” My voice was muffled by the pillow and the tears I was holding back.
“No,” Darius replied, stubbornly. “That is not how I’m taking my mate for the first time.”
Before I could protest, he scooped me up in his arms as if I didn’t weigh a thing, and whilst juggling me, he pulled the covers down and flipped me over onto my back on the mattress.
A pair of firm lips took mine as he fell on top of me, licking into my mouth as my traitorous lips welcomed him in.
The big probing tongue in my mouth was an invasion of my personal space, aaa-n-d…
fuck , I wanted to suck on it at the same time.
I had no control over my body, which was already leaking slick at an embarrassing rate.
Moments later, Darius broke the kiss, sniffing behind my ear, before slowly kissing his way down my neck, to the place near the junction of neck and collarbone where the mating mark would go.
He repeatedly lapped the skin over my mating gland, before moving on and leaving a trail of wet kisses over the smooth skin of my pecs.
I kept my eyes closed, trembling at the scrape of his short stubble, shivering with the goosebumps that followed his lips.
When he sucked one nipple into his mouth, I would have jolted off the bed except for his weight trapping my hips and the pressure of his arm across my collarbone.
I whimpered. And then felt the heat surge into my cheeks in embarrassment.
Darius slid further down the bed, positioning himself between my thighs.
His mouth continued its slow exploration down my abdomen, ignoring my cock - which had gone hard – until he reached the crease where hips met thighs.
He nuzzled me and his mouth closed around my ball sac.
Oh Goddess! I writhed on the bed. Fuck! It felt amazing.
My fingers had found their way into his hair, sliding through the tight curls and rasping over his scalp. Electricity zapped between us and I snatched my hand back.
Darius’ hand curled around my cock. I wanted this so badly.
Needed it. Suddenly the situation – how I’d had no choice in the arrangement, how I didn’t really know him - faded into insignificance.
I could barely breath, lying there with this almost-a-stranger-but-soon-to-be-mate’s hand stroking my cock. Fuck, it felt good.
Darius continued stroking me with one hand until the pre-cum began to flow. I scrunched my eyes tightly closed, barely daring to breath.