Chapter 32
A harsh knock wakes me from a dreamless sleep.
My eyes slowly peel open, and when I hear it again in a more coherent state, I realize it’s not so harsh.
It’s a gentle knock. I sit up, realizing I dozed off looking at my painting.
I was lost in thought looking at it for what felt like hours when my resolve started to trickle back in.
I know that I need to stay on this course, but I had a weak moment.
A nervous, panicked spiral before I head into the unknown.
It's only natural for an elf who’s barely left the comfort of her castle her whole life, I tell myself.
As I make my way to the door at a sleepy, unhurried pace, I hear another knock. The knocks may not be hard, but they’re impatient.
I don’t concern myself with who may be on the other side until I pull it open and realize my mistake.
“Adrian.”
He looks displeased, and slightly… disgusted?
“Your father sent me to retrieve you.”
I don’t miss the subtle way he gazes past me, searching my room.
“I’m alone,” I snap. “Give me a minute to freshen up.”
I don’t let him answer before I’m shutting the door in his face.
I make sure my necklace is tucked securely in my dress, then throw a cloak on and tidy my hair and face, throwing a hint of color on my cheeks.
When I return to the hall, he’s waiting with a frown. I shut my door behind me and start walking without him.
He catches me in two strides.
I’m not sure why I’m suddenly bothered by his presence. He didn’t really do anything to me, I suppose. But the fact that he’s finally spoken to me for the first time in days simply because my father sent for me really irks me.
“Did I do something, Elysande?”
“No,” I breathe, releasing a sigh.
“It feels like you’ve been avoiding me.”
“I could say the same.”
I finally glance at him. His dark green eyes are watching me with frustration.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with… less than desirable company.”
“What?”
He shrugs, frustrated. “What are you doing spending so much time with that guy?”
I pinch my eyebrows, not liking where this is going. “What does it matter to you?”
“It matters because I care about you.”
I don’t answer.
“Do you actually… like the guy?”
Again, I answer with silence.
He shakes his head, letting out a frustrated sigh.
“You’re better than them,” he says, barely above a whisper.
I stop and whirl on him. “Excuse me?”
He sticks his chin out, folding his arms. “You heard me.”
“And what do you base that ridiculous claim off of? You know absolutely nothing about them!” I’m boiling now.
“I know you.”
“And what, because I’m an elf and they’re dragon shifters, that automatically makes me better?”
He raises his eyebrows, as if to tell me I already know the answer. “You’re the princess,” he adds.
“Who cares!” I seethe. “It’s a role I was born into. I’ve done nothing for it!”
I can’t calm my anger.
I want to punch him in the fucking face for looking down on them. Instead, I spin around and storm off. When he moves to follow me, I shoot tiny icicles back in his face. Not enough to hurt him, but to warn him. “Ah!” he yells. “What the…”
“I know the fucking way!” I call back.
Today is not the day to mess with me.
I try to calm down the rest of the walk to my father’s office, but it’s proving to be difficult. I shake my hands out, close my eyes, and take deep breaths. Nothing’s working. I’m a female standing at the mouth of a storm, and no one would be wise to stand in my way.
“Father,” I announce as I enter the room, out of breath.
“Sit,” he commands.
“I’d rather stand.”
He fixes me with that cold, even look of his.
“What news do you have?” he inquires.
“News?”
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with them. I expect something worthwhile by now. As we discussed.”
“Right. Right.” I shake my head, regaining my breath. Mostly trying to stall while I form an idea.
He watches patiently as I pace.
“They’re very, very private. It’s rather frustrating.”
He doesn’t look pleased.
“Do you like him?”
“No. I do not. But I think he’s falling for me. I’m fairly certain he is. I think I can crack him soon. I’m playing into it.”
His brows furrow as he mulls this over.
“It’s quite fun, actually. It’s been entertaining me these last few days.” I’m lying. A lot. Playing pretend with Daegan when I’m enjoying every moment around him is killing me. There’s nothing fake about it.
For me, at least.
I still don’t think I’m selling him. I need to give him… something. But everything Daegan has told me, he’s told me in confidence. I won’t break that.
Maybe there’s something I can tell him that he probably already knows, but that he can’t exactly use against them.
My father is the king and apparently has more involvement in the other regions than I realized.
An entire population declining won’t be a shock to him, but it might show him that Daegan is really talking to me about things.
“Their species is dying off. Did you know? Mysterious illnesses and shorter lifespans… or something like that.”
He interlaces his hands and nods. The news doesn’t surprise him, but I think it’s enough to quell any suspicions. For now.
“They are due to leave soon. You can keep playing your little game, but if you don’t get anything before then… oh well. We send them back to their lands with no harm done.”
I hold my tongue.
“And as you said…” he looks at me with cold, calculating eye. “They’re dying off anyway.”
It feels like ice water was dumped down my back. The way he said it, the way he looked at me…
It takes everything in me to smile, turn, and leave the room with whatever composure I have left.
When I shut the door behind me, I close my eyes, suck in a deep, slow breath, and let the rage seep in again. And then I look ahead with fierce determination, storming back toward my room.
But on the way, I realize I don’t want to go back to my room alone. I want to see Meela, Daegan, and Raef. I want to apologize for my weak moment from earlier and assure them I can do this. I’m ready. I know they all noticed.
I reroute and head for her room.
My knuckles hurt with how hard I knock on her door. I pace back and forth until she answers. It doesn’t take long.
“Elle.” She lets out a relieved sigh.
And weirdly, instinctively, I reach out and hug her.
She lets me. Barely. Her hand pats my back awkwardly as I wrap my arms around her for a moment, closing my eyes. She smells like a sweet spice I can’t name. Then I pull back.
“That was weird,” she drawls. We both laugh.
“Can I come in?”
“Obviously.”
She opens the door to show me the rest of the room. I’m surprised to find Daegan is already at the doorway directly behind her with concern on his face.
Raef rises from his seat deeper in the room.
I don’t question the absolute relief I feel seeing them all, I simply revel in it. It’s the best I’ve felt all day. The why can be dealt with another time.
“You’re all here,” I say, struggling to take my eyes off the one who I can’t keep out of my head lately no matter how hard I try.
His lips pull back into a tight-lipped smile.
“Plotting world domination,” Meela says after she closes the door.
I take the seat that doesn’t have a drink in front of it on the table, and they follow.
We’re all sort of in a circle around the table now, glancing at each other as we all settle in. “It’s been a really weird day,” I finally say.
Meela chuckles. “Are you okay though?”
“I am. I had a little spiral. I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Daegan says.
Meela glances at me. “Are you ready for this? It’s not too late to—”
“No,” I cut her off, shaking my head. I lift my chin up, looking at each one of them. “I will admit, I had some doubts creep in today. But then I did a lot of thinking, and I became more determined than ever. We’re doing this.” I look around again. “As long as you’re all still in?”
They all nod easily. “Yep,” Meela says.
“Good. Because a couple assholes crossed me at the wrong time today, making me more determined than ever.”
“What happened?” Raef asks.
“Nothing noteworthy. Just some cocky males who are going to get what’s coming to them.”
Meela cocks her head at me. “Adrian?”
“And the king.”
She nods her head slowly with understanding.
Daegan looks pissed. “What happened?”
I sigh. I’m afraid to tell him. What if he gets mad at me for not telling him sooner?
“I need to be fully transparent with you guys, as you’ve been with me,” I meet Daegan’s eyes, pleading with him to understand.
“My father asked me to get close to you when you first got here. But even then, when we didn’t…
get along, I told him nothing. I only pretended I was going along with it to appease him, but now it sort of works in our favor.
It goes along with our plan to pretend anyway, and he’ll think it’s all part of his master plan. ”
Daegan’s looking down at his hand, flexing it with his eyes narrowed.
“That fucker,” Raef says.
“Daegan?” I say barely above a whisper.
He looks up then, looking into my soul as he nods. “I trust you.”
Relief washes through me.
“Also…” I start. “He… knows your people are dying.”
Raef’s expression darkens into a rare scowl.
“I’m not surprised,” Daegan mumbles.
“All the more reason,” Meela mutters.
“Who’s the other asshole?” Daegan asks after a stretch of silence.
“Adrian.”
He nods, his jaw ticking.
“I shot icicles at his face.”
Raef and Meela both look at me with their mouths open.
“Not the kind that will penetrate his skin,” I add. “Just enough to piss him off.”
“Did he hurt you?” Daegan asks.
“No. But I will make him suffer for the words he spoke to me.”
Daegan glances up at me… and smirks. Like he’s proud. I smile back.
“Okay, I’m getting you a drink,” Meela announces.
And then we spend the next few hours planning our route, discussing any issues we might face, everything. We plan to meet Gaethri and Rhydra in town again the following day to catch up with them.
I feel… happy, spending time with them. All of them.
Meela for her honesty and bluntness, making sure no awkward silence goes unfilled.
Raef for his smile, light, and humor he brings to everything.
And Daegan… he’s just Daegan. His presence has somehow become a center of calm for me, and he always seems to be attuned to what I’m feeling, what I’m thinking. I don’t know what will become of me one day when this addiction I’m developing is finally ripped away.