Chapter 46
“Elle!”
The panicked shouting pulls me from my peaceful dream.
Disoriented, I realize I’m coughing violently. Someone flips me over, and I touch a surface that’s cold and wet. And hard.
Realization strikes me violently. I open my eyes and turn back over, sucking in sharp intakes of air. I was in the water, and now I’m not.
When I finally turn over again, I’m greeted by a frantic pair of deep green eyes.
“Elle,” he sighs in relief.
Realizing his hand is around my waist as I look up at him, I scramble away and sit up. But glancing around, I realize we’re on a small paddle boat, and there’s no escaping him this time.
I sit on the far end. As far away from him as I can get. I narrow my eyes at him, trying to let him know how much hatred I hold for him with one glare.
“What in the curses were you thinking?” he asks.
I don’t answer.
The rain is still coming down hard, but I can see the island now. We’re drifting toward it.
“Elysande.” He says it firmly, with a drip of impatience.
I turn my head toward him, my eyes dead. It doesn’t matter if I drowned in that water. I’m dead inside either way. It doesn’t matter that I’ve been out here most days, still trying to swim to the mainland. I simply want to escape him. I don’t care what happens after that, where I go…
If I gave up drinking altogether, maybe I’d be showing more progress. Maybe I would’ve made it off the island by now.
Maybe not.
But I can’t sit alone with my thoughts clear-headed. I want to shut them out. That’s what swimming has done for me.
“What?” I finally ask, my tone lifeless.
“Do you have a death wish?”
“Maybe.”
He has the gall to look concerned, even worried. Then he leans forward, his voice softening. “I didn’t mean for Meela to die,” he says softly, so I barely hear him over the heavy rain slapping against the boat and the sea.
“Don’t say her name,” I snap, panic rising in me.
Why would he bring her up now, when I’m stuck on a boat with him with no way off.
I know he watches me swimming most days.
I ignore his lingering presence every time.
I’ve been successful at avoiding his attempts at conversation in the castle, and he doesn’t push. But now…
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I shake my head.
“I’m not paddling until you talk to me.”
I meet his gaze again, full of disdain and disgust. He puts the paddles up and folds his arms.
“Take me to the mainland.”
“You know I can’t do that,” he says. He has to raise his voice to break through the heavy rainfall.
“Why not?”
“I’m a general of The Ellyar Army now. There are rules to follow.”
I try not to show my surprise at the title. So, he took Lyriel’s place then?
“Fine.”
I stand and face away from him, toward the island. I put my arms up and lean forward, ready to jump.
A hand yanks me back harshly, and I fall back into his chest.
“Are you insane?” he yells. “You nearly just died out there!”
“I feel fine now,” I say weakly. I don’t even know if he hears me.
“Fine. I’ll paddle. Just promise to sit down, please.”
“Promise to shut up, then.”
He answers with a grunt.
He paddles in silence for a while, and the rain begins to lighten up. We’re getting closer to the shore, closer to getting away from him.
“I thought he’d have come for you by now,” Adrian says in a low, pensive tone.
I flinch, looking off in the distance. Is that confirmation that he did, in fact, escape?
“No one is coming for me,” I say at last.
“I did.”
I whip my gaze toward him. “And what good are you doing me? I’m still wearing these, still a prisoner here.” I hold up my wrists, displaying the cuffs in a dramatic fashion. “And you’re doing nothing to help me. So, no. You did not come for me. You came for you.”
He doesn’t say anything, and disappointment sneaks in. What did I expect him to do, take my cuffs off right here and now? Of course it wouldn’t be that simple.
We reach the shore, the boat bumping into the sand with a jolt. I jump out, storm up the beach to the castle, change into dry clothes, and begin my search for a drink.