Chapter Six Never Be The Same
Never Be The Same
Samantha
IHAD A NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT. I haven’t dreamt about my father and Rodrick, his killer, in a long time.
I’m not even sure when the last time was.
A heavy weight lingers like a cloak of darkness.
As if my injured shoulder is truly bearing its weight, the ache is more prevalent today.
A constant reminder of my waking with a scream ringing in my ears and Joseph wrapped around me like the safe vessel he is.
My constant, my barometer, my guiding light showing me the way home—to him.
When he proposed six months ago, I was shocked and yet surprised he’d waited so long.
I knew he wanted to ask sooner, but he gave me the time I needed to grow into our love and come to truly trust him as the man in my life who would never leave me.
Who would never abandon me for something better.
Who didn’t think there were greener pastures than the one he’s cultivating with me.
I’m his greener pasture, and he’s my horticulturalist. I’m the one he wants.
The one he desires. The one he looks at with love and reverence.
As remarkable as it still seems to me, I’m the one.
And he is, most definitely, the one for me. But he always was. From that breathtaking moment when we first met to every moment that followed, he is my other half, my protector, my champion, my caveman.
He tugs on my hair as he passes the dining room table where I’m supposed to be studying. School started a week ago. “What’s got you lost in thought?”
I meet his gaze over my shoulder. “You.”
His dimpled smile says he’s pleased. “Oh, yeah? What about me?” He pivots and joins me at the table.
I blush at the memory. “Your proposal.”
He lights up like the beacon he is, proud and confident.
“You liked that, huh?” He scoots closer, leaning in, his arm over my chair, his fingers running along my nape.
“What was it you liked best? Jumping from the waterfall hand in hand? Sailing the Caribbean at sunset? The moonlit dinner on the beach? Or making love in our oceanfront cabana?”
My dreamy mood lingers as the memories come flying back.
“Those were all amazing. Each and every one.” I lean into him, take a deep breath, and allow the tantalizing smell of him and the memories of our trip to swirl around me like a warm ocean breeze.
“It was a great vacation.” I squeeze his thigh under the table.
“You’ve set a high standard, Caveman. Do you think you can top that for our honeymoon? ”
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
I laugh and stand, holding out my hand. “Come.” He takes it without question and follows me to the couch. We sit side by side, me tucked under his arm, looking out over the brilliantly lit-up downtown skyline. “All of that was amazing. But none of those are my favorite moment.”
His hand runs up and down my arm. “No? What was?”
“Do you remember at the airport when that guy bumped into me, scattering my purse and all its contents across the floor?”
“Yeah,” he says with confusion.
“You grabbed me, ensuring I was steady on my feet before kneeling down, handing me my purse, and then you carefully picked up and handed me each expelled item, giving me time to place them back in my purse where they belong—instead of simply scooping it all up in your big hands and dumping it in my purse like a trash bag.”
“Okaaaay.”
“Then each and every day you carefully, dutifully, covered my body with sunscreen to ensure I didn’t burn. You kept a water bottle by my side and fresh fruit within arm’s reach to ensure I didn’t get dehydrated or hungry.”
“Rubbing your body with suntan lotion was purely selfish on my part.” He winks when I look up at him.
“And then there was that fateful day we tried street food, against your better judgment.” I shudder at the memory.
“I was so sick. Luckily, you weren’t, but you didn’t write me off to go play in the sun and sand.
You stayed by my side. Held my hair when I threw up.
Carried me back and forth from bed to bathroom when I was too weak to do it myself.
Bathed me. Tried every trick in the books to keep me hydrated.
Held me through my fever and clammy night sweats.
You gave me everything I could ever need without even having to ask. ”
“Who would leave you to be sick on your own?”
I chuckle. “I can think of more than a few I’m quite sure would’ve been out snorkeling or jet skiing—any place other than stuck in a hotel room with their sick girlfriend.”
“Fiancée,” he corrects.
“I wasn’t your fiancée yet.”
“You’ve been my fiancée since I slipped that promise ring on your finger.” He kisses my head and squeezes me. “You just didn’t know it.”
I laugh and adjust to face him. “My sweet Caveman, you’ve had it all figured out from the beginning, haven’t you?” He nods with certainty. “You’ve been waiting for me to catch up?”
The back of his hand sweeps the side of my face, anchoring at my nape where his thumb continues to caress my jaw. “And I would wait for an eternity, Sweetness.”
I lean into his touch, believing he would.
“And that brings me to my favorite moment of our trip.” His eyes light up as if he can’t wait to hear it.
As if he doesn’t already know, but I’m not sure he knows why it’s my favorite moment.
“You could have proposed in any of the amazing places we visited: the sunset sail, the romantic dinner on the beach, the waterfall before we jumped.”
I smile at the memory of him diving under the water, after we jumped, to find me.
I hadn’t come up right away. I’d gone deep, pulled out of Joseph’s grasp by the impact of our plunge.
I wasn’t hurt as he feared, I was simply enjoying the peaceful moment—the elation of jumping and then the feeling of weightlessness as I slowly rose to the surface—that is, until Joseph grabbed me by the waist and hauled me up, as fast as he could, with a look of pure panic on his face when we broke the surface.
“But you didn’t do it in any of those places.
Instead you took me to the highest peak, on the highest island, where we met the dawn and ushered in a new day by you getting down on bended knee, pledging your love for me and endless days of sunrises and sunsets—together.
Where you said it didn’t matter where in the world we lived, where we worked, where we traveled, whether we had kids or not, whether we were rich or not.
All that mattered to you was that I was in your world—for I was your world.
Your. World.” My voice cracks. I’m still amazed.
He tenderly wipes away my tears as they fall. His lips kiss along their trail. “You are my world. I breathe for you. My heart beats for you. My every thought, every emotion, every action, are with you in mind.”
I nod, wiping at my tears as my chin quivers.
“But I didn’t truly believe it until that moment.
I knew I would love you forever, Joseph.
I knew it to the core of my being, with every fiber of my body—I knew you were it for me.
” I hold his open palm against my cheek, cradling it with my hand.
“You told me over and over again how you felt. But it was something about that moment, the stillness of the morning, the purity of the new dawn breaking, the earnest sincerity of your words, and the light shining from your eyes. It finally clicked—you love me, truly, deeply, eternally—just like I love you. It wasn’t one-sided.
I didn’t imagine it, or embellish it. Your love is true, honest, and pure.
And that was the moment I knew I was it for you. ”
“Yes, Sweetness.” He pulls me into his lap. His lips find mine before raining kisses all over my face and neck, burying his head in my shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would like to have known, to experience that epiphany with you.”
I shrug. “I needed to live with that revelation a bit, let it take root and grow.” I pull away, finding his face streaked with tears.
“Oh, Joseph. I’m sorry. I think mostly I’m ashamed it took me this long to get where you are.
” It’s my turn to wipe and kiss away his tears.
“We were always on the same page, on the same journey, except my self-doubt kept me from seeing you right there—next to me—at the same point in time that I was. We were always in sync. I was too blind to see it.”
“But now you see me?” His soul, his heart is wide-open for me.
“I see you, Joseph. I see the love reflected in your eyes is the same as mine. We are one hundred percent in this together.”
He smiles mischievously. “One hundred and fifty percent, Sweets.”
I press my forehead to his. “Yes, one hundred and fifty percent to infinity.”
“Infinity,” he breathes.
“Infinity.” My love.
Joseph
The days that follow come and go quickly, with a natural rhythm I haven’t found before.
I’m lighter: an unrecognized weight has been lifted by the knowledge that Samantha knows I’m not going anywhere.
It’s more than that, though. It’s that there is an equality now.
A balance has been reached where she knows she’s the one for me, just as I’ve always known she was it for me.
I’m sorry it took her six months to tell me, but I believe that for her, it took that long for the knowing to work its way to the surface, fully vested and indestructible.
Teddy, with his cock-sure way about him, has been a godsend. He’s working out better than I could have hoped. Samantha comes in a few days a week after class to touch base, answer his questions, and fine-tune any processes he doesn’t fully understand or believes could work better.
I step out of my office when I hear her laugh. She’s early. I still as I spot her leaning on Teddy’s desk, her face lit up with amusement, her shoulders shaking with laughter.
Teddy spots me and stiffens. “Sir.”