Chapter 15
Ainsley
I made a huge mistake when I chose my seat at the dinner table.
Wait, that’s not right.
I made a huge mistake by choosing my seat first .
The Nash’s dinner table is circular, so there are no sides of the table. I chose a seat at random, trying to ignore some of the awkward stares and get the dinner started. Unfortunately, I didn’t think about the monster when I chose my seat. So, he’s now sitting to my right. Where he can put his left hand on my thigh and use his right hand to play with the remote in his pocket.
Even worse, Ethan is to my left, close enough that I can hear every breath he takes through the silence echoing throughout the room. I learned quickly that any time I turned my gaze to him, I earned myself a tight squeeze on my thigh and a zap from the vibrator.
“I enjoy seeing my son and someone I consider my daughter so happy together,” Mrs. Nash comments, breaking through the silence. “After how upset you were over Christmas, I didn’t expect to see you like this so soon, Ainsley. You are happy, aren’t you?”
I look to the monster for guidance, not really sure how to answer this question. I’m not exactly unhappy, but it also wasn’t my idea to spend spring break being kidnapped yet again.
The monster looks back with a raised eyebrow, waiting to hear my answer. When I take too long to produce any words, his left hand snakes up my thigh while his right hand reaches into his pocket and hits the button, sending vibrations to my overly sensitive clit.
“Yes,” I cry out suddenly, attempting to hide the sound of the vibrator against the chair. “He certainly knows how to piss me off and I’d love nothing more than to slap him across the face right now , but he also knows how to make me happy.”
The vibration stops right before I lose control and let out a moan, and beside me, the monster chuckles. Mr. and Mrs. Nash look at me strangely, not used to hearing me talk like this. I’ve never been an angry person around them. Beside me, Ethan refuses to acknowledge the words I just said.
“And you, Cain? Are you happy with Ainsley?”
“Very much so,” the monster answers. I can feel his stare drilling holes into the side of my head, but I refuse to look at him right now. “She’s the reason for my existence. I adore her, and I intend to show her that every day that she’ll allow me.”
Mrs. Nash claps cheerfully, more than happy to see the two of us together like this, even if dinner started out on the wrong foot. “Tell me how you two met.”
“Oh, he loves telling this story. Don’t you?” Now I finally turn my gaze to the monster, amusement lighting up my eyes. I can’t wait to hear what he has to say.
“We had been talking for a few weeks,” he starts. “Just texts.”
As he talks, his hand slips higher until it’s under my dress, tracing the edge of my panties.
“We decided to meet up at the Halloween fair.” His fingers push aside my panties, letting in an icy breeze against my heated flesh. I swear, by the end of the night, I’m going to have a rash from my wet panties chafing against my thighs. “There she was, in her gorgeous black dress, looking like the most beautiful corpse bride I’d ever seen.”
One of his fingers slides up my slit, collecting the wetness gathered around the vibrator snugly fitted in there. “I just knew I had to have her. She’s been mine ever since.”
As he finishes his short speech, his hand slides out from under my dress, and I watch with fascination as he slips the finger coated with my arousal into his mouth, tasting me in front of everyone at this dinner table.
“That’s not how I remember it,” I blurt as I pull my eyes away from the way his finger is twirling around his mouth. He pulls it out, a challenge in his eyes as he reaches back into his pocket.
“Do tell,” he says as the vibration starts inside of me, making me grit my teeth.
“You stalked me,” I get out, trying to ignore the overwhelming pleasure he’s forcing me to feel. “Cornered me in the maze and drugged me.”
Mrs. Nash gasps in horror as I lurch forward, gripping onto his arm and digging my nails into his skin for support. We’re not even halfway through dinner, and I’m so close to giving into him. So close to screaming his name and coming in front of everyone at this table.
“Then you kidnapped me and held me hostage.” He presses the button again, making the vibrations more intense and pulling a whimper out of me. “Until you made me -”
I cut myself off, realizing what was about to come out of my mouth. As a punishment, the vibration between my legs gets even more intense, and I’m so close to my orgasm I don’t even care if they can hear the vibrator against the chair.
“Until I made you what, little one?” The entire room disappears, leaving only the monster and I as we lock eyes, both trying to win the challenge. “Say it.”
I shake my head, telling him I won’t, and he stops the vibration. I fall toward him, my head leaning against his chest as I struggle to stay in my chair. Just when I think it’s over, the vibration starts again, just as intense as when it ended. “Say it, Ainsley.”
“You made me fall in love with you,” I cry. Suddenly, I shoot up out of my chair, and with my back to everyone in the room, I announce, “I need some air.”
The room is silent behind me as I make my escape, struggling to catch my breath as the vibration between my legs finally stops. “I’ll go check on her,” I hear Ethan say as the front door comes into view.
Right now, dealing with the confusion between Ethan and me is the last thing I want to do. I’m not in the right state of mind to address his feelings, nor do I want to admit to him or anyone else that the monster has ruined me for anyone else that might come along. I knew that before this week happened.
“No,” I hear the monster growl. “Excuse me.”
I hear his chair scrape against the floor as I open the front door and step outside. The monster is actually lower on my list of people I want to speak to than Ethan is. I’d prefer to just spend some time outside, alone.
“Flying away, little bird?”
Now that’s a voice that doesn’t make me want to run away. Jonah emerges from the shadows around the house, a warm smile on his face as he greets me.
“He really made you come all the way out here? It’s just dinner,” I tell him. No one here is going to hurt me.
“I’d like a moment alone with Ainsley, please, Jonah,” I hear the monster say from behind me as the door shuts again.
“No,” I mouth at Jonah as I shake my head, trying to show him that being alone with the monster is the last thing I need right now. Jonah sends me a sympathetic smile in response, and I know he doesn’t have a choice. The monster is his boss now.
“I want to be alone,” I announce as I watch Jonah’s back retreating into the shadows around the house.
“That’s not an option,” he says back to me, much closer than I expected him to be. His finger reaches out and traces the letters on my back, his touch healing me in ways a bandage never could. “This needs to happen.”
“Just let me go home,” I beg him. Whether it’s his house where I can escape into my old room or my apartment where I won’t have to see him in the morning, I don’t care. I just need to get away from him as soon as possible.
“I’ll give you whatever you want, baby, you just need to give in first,” he tells me, trying to get me to do the one thing he knows will finally break me.
Before I can tell him no, he gathers me into his arms bridal style and carries me around the house. Instead of fighting him, I let him carry me until we’re away from the door, where no one can hear or see us. Except maybe Jonah, depending on where he goes.
“Do you think I’m enjoying this?” the monster asks as he sets me on my feet. I take a step away from him, but he follows me until my back is pressed against the house. “It would be much easier if you would just let yourself remember what it felt like to love me. If you would just say my name. Even once, just so I can hear the way only you can say it.”
“Why can’t you just let me go?”
Contradicting everything he’s feeling right now, he gently and lovingly pushes my hair away from my face as he looks into my eyes. His are full of fire, both passionate and angry.
“Don’t you get it yet, silly girl? You’re my obsession. I don’t want to breathe in air unless it smells like you. When anyone lays a hand on you, I want to murder them, and then I want to make you forget their touch. I would burn the world down if I knew it would make you smile to see the flames. You’re everything to me, Ainsley, and I would be happy knowing that you feel even a fraction of what I feel.”
“And if I don’t?” I challenge, sounding much more confident than I feel. Inside, I’m melting from his proclamation, knowing that I’ve always wanted a love like that. So, why am I still denying him, and denying myself?
“We both know you do, and it’s time for you to finally admit it.”
The monster pulls the straps of my dress off my shoulders and rips the top down, revealing my breasts to him and the chilly night air. “Tell me these are mine,” he growls as he grabs one, holding it in his rough grip.
“No.” My teeth grind together, knowing I won’t win this fight much longer, but I’m going to give it everything I have. He leans down and sucks my nipple into his mouth, making me arch my back into him to get more. He rolls it between his teeth, making it harden into a peak before moving to the next one.
“Mine,” he declares. I wait with my breath lodged in my throat for him to give my other nipple the same treatment, expecting the same pleasure. As he bites down around my nipple, sending pain shooting through me, I cry out and try to pull away.
As he licks the bite to soothe the stinging pain, his hand snakes up my dress, finding the wetness he already knows is soaking through my panties.
“I want to hear you say that this is mine,” he breathes against my aching nipple, pushing against the vibrator to make it rub against my swollen clit. A moan slips through my lips as my head falls back. “Tell me who makes you feel this good.”
“Anyone can touch me and make me feel this good,” I lie. We both hear the false note in my voice, and in retaliation, his hand leaves my pussy. When the vibration starts between my legs, a low, steady hum that drives me wild, I know my true punishment is coming.
“That was a lie,” he growls. “Admit it.”
“It was the truth,” I lie again. “You just don’t want to hear it.”
The vibration gets stronger, making me squirm against his hold as he continues pushing me into the side of the house.
“Ainsley?”
Ethan’s voice calls out from somewhere around the house, making both of us jerk in surprise. Except, where my eyes show panic, the monster’s eyes reveal a wicked plan. The next words to fall out of my mouth don’t talk him out of it.
“I bet if I was out here with Ethan, and he was touching me like this, it would feel just as good.”
Murder flashes through the monster’s eyes, reminding me of the night I watched him torture Carlos. That was the first time I ever saw him like that, and if I’m being honest with myself, it’s frightening.
“Take it back,” the monster commands. “Take it back right fucking now.”
His entire body is rigged, trying to keep himself under control despite the anger coursing through him. “Take. It. Back,” he hisses out through clenched teeth.
“I didn’t mean it,” I get out quickly as I hear Ethan calling out for me again.
“Tell me who makes you feel this good,” he commands, still barely holding himself together.
“You do,” I admit. “Only you make me feel so good.”
The vibration between my legs gets more intense as I watch his body relax just the slightest bit. The murderous edge is gone from his eyes, but I still wouldn’t trust him to not do something crazy.
“See? That wasn’t so hard. Now, make him go away.”
Instead of obeying, I stare into his eyes, trying to seem just as worked up as he is. I am angry, but not for the same reasons that he is.
Suddenly, the vibration dies, leaving me whimpering. I want more. Need more. “Tell him to go away,” the monster commands.
“I’m fine, Ethan,” I call out. “I just need a minute.”
He doesn’t answer me, but after a minute, the sound of the front door closing fills the night. The monster gives me a satisfied grin once we’re alone again.
“Good girl,” he praises, making my knees shake from how weak they suddenly feel. “Now tell me you’re mine.”
I can’t lie to him again. My lies are obvious to both of us. I also can’t tell him I’m his, because he would enjoy that power too much. So, I give him the closest thing to the truth that I can. “I don’t want to be yours.”
The monster grabs my hand and drags it to his abs as he lifts his shirt up. My fingers brush along the carving of my name there. “I’m yours, Ainsley. You have me, body, heart, and fucking soul. Whatever you want, I’ll do it for you.”
The sincerity in his words nearly breaks my heart. Once upon a time, I felt the same way about him. I would have done anything just to see him again, even if it was only a dream. And I did. I acted out, knowing that Carlos would beat me senseless so I could happily dream of the monster while I was unconscious.
That was a long time ago, though. I’ve blocked all of that out.
“Let me go,” I tell him. I try to sound as strong as I need to, but my voice shakes, letting him know my true feelings. After everything we’ve been through, I don’t want him to let me go anymore than he wants to let me go.
“Say my name, Ainsley,” he commands. It’s the only command of his I’ve been successful at denying so far.
Seeing the defiance in my eyes, he hits the button again, starting from the same intensity he turned it off at.
“Say it, Ainsley. Say my name and I’ll let you come.”
I shake my head, not trusting myself to open my mouth right now. He hits the button again, the vibration so intense I can hear it between us. I have to grab onto him for support, feeling his firm muscles below my fingers.
He leans in, leaving a gentle kiss against my exposed neck. “Say it.”
I shake my head again, and instead of one kiss, he trails passionate kisses up my neck, sending shivers down my spine. My orgasm is getting closer, the closest he’s let me get tonight. All I need to do is stay quiet.
“Say. It.” He holds the button, turning off the vibrator and making me collapse against him. “Say my name. The name you tried to cry out before you even knew what it was. The name you whispered seductively in my ear over and over again. The name you moaned while another man was touching you, because you only ever wanted me. The name you refuse to speak because you know when you do, you won’t be able to fight me anymore.”
Cain. His name lights up the inside of my mind, but still, I fight.
Cain. The man that I dreamed of, only days after he kidnapped me. I didn’t even know his name, but I wanted his touch. I dreamed of him blindfolding me and handcuffing me to the bed, just so he could taste my pussy. He told me his name for the first time after he listened to me crying out his initial in my sleep.
Cain. The man I spent three weeks getting to know as intimately as two people can know each other. By the time I finally went to his bed, his name was the only name I ever wanted to speak.
The vibration between my legs starts again, and he has to hold me up as everything comes crashing down around me.
Cain . The name I cried while another man was trying to rape me, because the only way I could survive it was by imagining that it was Cain in that closet, touching me and making me come.
“Say it, Ainsley.”
Cain. The man I’ve been hopelessly in love with for months now, no matter how much I’ve tried to deny it. He’s the only man that could ever make me love him so completely that I would allow him to carve his name into my skin.
My orgasm explodes inside of me, the sweet release I’ve been begging for all night, but my fight is gone.
“Cain!” I cry out, tears flowing down my face as I allow all our memories, good and bad, to bombard me.
“Cain.” His name is the only word I can breathe as my world comes crashing down around me, my feelings finally unveiled and impossible to deny.