Chapter 18
Ainsley
T he car ride to the compound I haven’t seen in months is completely silent. Just as silent as the day I left him, and he drove me to Ethan’s house.
Cain is mad at me, I know that, but I don’t know how to tell him that his silence is hurting me. There was no other way for me to convince him to go and take me with him.
When he finally came for me, I turned down revenge because all I could think about was getting out of there and going home with him. I watched Carlos being tortured, watched his death, but he suffered no consequences by my own hands.
I often wonder if that would have made a difference for me. If I had taken my revenge on him, would I have stayed with Cain? Probably not, but there’s a very real possibility that the nightmares wouldn’t have plagued me for the last three months. I would have proved to myself that I can be strong when I need to be.
Which is why I can’t pass up this opportunity. Cain wants me to open myself up to him again, and the longer I’m with him, the more I want that, too. But, I can’t do that with the past sneaking up on me and threatening to suffocate me. As long as the past is haunting me, I can’t give him what he wants.
Do I think I’ll be the one to send Cain’s father to his death? No. Cain deserves that privilege for everything that man has put him through. I’ll be happy to just send him to Cain with a few bruises he would have gone without otherwise. Just to show him a sliver of the pain he caused me.
Not able to stand the silence between us anymore, I reach across the center console and try to braid my fingers through Cain’s. Despite my efforts, his hand remains in a tight fist, denying me access.
That doesn’t deter me from trying, though. My fingers fight to unravel his, pulling his fingers apart one by one. When I get close enough, he pulls his hand to the other side of his lap, away from my reach.
“Cain.”
His jaw ticks, but he refuses to look at me. I knew I made him angry, but I didn’t realize it was so bad that he won’t even touch me. He’s never been that mad at me. We’ve had our fights, none worse than the ones we’ve had this week, but we’ve still come out of them stronger. We got through them together. How can I do that when he’s pushing me away now?
“Cain,” I call, a little firmer this time. This time, his eyes twitch to the side. It’s only a millisecond that he looks at me, but it’s something.
“Don’t. You’ve done enough.”
Ouch. He’s not just mad, he’s furious. I don’t know how to fix this. I wasn’t wrong with making him take me, but maybe I could have gone about it differently.
Before I can think of a solution, we’re driving down a dirt road that’s too familiar, and at the end is a building I spent more time in than I wish to remember. The night is dark, but the silhouette of the building shines brightly, refusing to be hidden from my sight.
Panic seeps through me as memories come flooding back to me, overwhelming me before I can make them stop.
Memories of thinking Cain was dead, killed while trying to rescue me.
Memories of Carlos beating me in front of his men to teach me a lesson.
Memories of being paraded around in strips of clothing like I was nothing more than his own personal doll.
My breath catches in my throat, sticking there and refusing to allow me to get more air. The walls of the car feel like they’re getting closer, ready to squish me inside if I so much as dare to move.
I never thought I would see this place again. The building should have been left in my nightmares with everything else that happened to me here, but here it is, rising like a phoenix from the ashes. I should have learned by now that my nightmares don’t stay in my imagination.
The car is parked, and next to us, a familiar man steps out of his own vehicle. John. Cain’s second in command and good friend, the one that was supposed to keep me safe at the ball.
That’s when it hits me. I’m here with Cain, coming back with the hope of getting some kind of revenge. Carlos isn’t sitting in the driver’s seat next to me. Nothing I’m feeling is real.
“I brought you here, but this is as far as you’re going. I swear to God, Ainsley, if you so much as step out of this car, I’ll lock you in your bedroom for the rest of spring break.”
Even with the anger aimed at me, his voice is like a life raft, pulling me back to reality and promising to keep me safe. “Cain?”
My voice is small, quieter than I would expect a mouse to be in this small space, but he can hear me. By the way he grips the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white, I know he hears me.
“I knew you weren’t fucking ready,” he spits, still refusing to look at me.
Stubbornness washes through me, reminding me why I insisted on this. I refuse to let him think I’m too weak to handle the events that may unfold tonight.
“Stop treating me like an insolent child,” I scold him, my voice much stronger this time. “I came here to get the revenge I denied myself when you rescued me. You may not understand that, but you don’t have to.”
He finally turns his full attention to me, and I almost wish he hadn’t. His eyes, normally so full of love for me, are completely devoid of emotion. They’re empty. Cold. A shiver races down my spine at the sight, threatening to give away just how frightened I am of him right now.
“You will not leave this vehicle unless I come for you. Me, and only me. If at any point you feel unsafe or get too frightened, you’ll take the car and drive as far away as you can. Is that understood?”
“I’m not going to leave you,” I tell him. How could he think I would just drive away, leaving him here? I would have no way of knowing what happens. He could be hurt, shot like the last time I saw him here, and I would be clueless.
“Do. You. Understand?” he grits out between his teeth. “If not, I’m turning around and we’re going back to the house.”
The house. Not home, just the house. “I understand,” I agree begrudgingly.
Without another word, he climbs out of the car. Just before he slams the door shut, I call for him, and he pauses. “Please be careful,” I beg him. “Come back to me.”
I watch his body relax, melting from my words. A few days ago, he probably thought he would never hear me say those words. A few days ago, I didn’t think I would ever say them again.
“Fuck.” With his curse, he swings back into the car and grabs my face in his hands. “Not a single foot outside of this vehicle. Understood?”
When I nod, he crushes his lips against me in a painful kiss. I can feel his anger in the way his lips take and give nothing in return, but I don’t fight him.
He pulls away too soon and makes a show of placing the car keys in the cupholder next to me. I’m not going to leave him. No matter what happens, I’m staying. Without another word, he climbs out of the car and closes the door, much gentler than he would have the first time.
John greets him as I watch, and soon, they’re surrounded by men. Cain takes over as the boss, telling each man where they’re going and what the plan is. I can’t hear a word he’s saying, but his hands move as he talks, and the men nod along.
Cain directs the group of men toward the building while I watch as they all fade into the shadows of the night. I know they’re out there, but I can’t see them anymore.
I’m alone.
The wind outside whistles past the car as the building looms in front of me, threatening to drag me back to the dark place I was lost in months ago. The panic from earlier has eased, but it’s replaced by a sense of doom.
Something is going to go wrong tonight.
I can’t shake the feeling that someone will be hurt, or may never make it out of that building. All because I was kidnapped, and their new boss wants revenge. I want revenge.
Cain threatened to lock me in my old bedroom if I leave this car, but all I want is to run to him and tell him to take me home. Tell him I made a mistake, and I don’t want to be here. If there’s a next time, I’ll stay home with Jonah’s protection, and Cain can come without me.
My hand is on the door handle, ready to pull it when the sound of the driver’s side door opening grabs my attention.
“Cain, I -”
My words die in my throat. Instead of the gorgeous, angry man I’m expecting to be sitting next to me, I find a man almost as tall as Cain, but not nearly as muscular. His balding head gives away his age while the calmness in his expression tries to deceive me into thinking I’m safe.
“You’re like a cockroach,” he comments with a dramatic sigh. “You just won’t die. I sell you to the most brutal man I know of, and here you are, looking happier than ever while he’s in an unmarked grave somewhere.”
The air in the car gets thinner as his voice settles into my bones, reminding me of memories I didn’t even know were still haunting me. Except, unlike earlier when I was with Cain, I don’t have the freedom to panic.
He’s playing a game he doesn’t think I can win, but I’m going to prove him wrong. In the time that I’ve been in this life, I’ve faced men much crueler than him. Even Cain had moments recently where he was more cruel than this man.
Men like him don’t want to get their own hands dirty; they’d rather have others do the work for them. All he ever did was kidnap me, neglect me, then sell me to the devil. Compared to my time with Carlos, my week with him was almost a vacation.
“What am I supposed to do with you?” he muses.
“You could just disappear,” I suggest. “Though, I’ve tried that, and Cain still dragged me back. And his grudge against you is much worse.”
He laughs humorlessly, assuming I was making a bad joke. If only this whole situation was nothing more than a sad attempt at a prank.
“You see, I can’t do that,” he announces. Every nerve in my body fires, ready to spring into action, but I force myself to calm down. Even if he never personally caused me harm, he’s still much larger than me and has lived a life full of violence. I don’t stand a chance against him.
“My son needs to learn a lesson. I could take you again, but I have a feeling that wouldn’t have the desired effect.”
He’s talking to himself, not caring if I acknowledge him at all. While he’s distracted by his own thoughts, my hand inches closer to the door handle, ready to disobey Cain and make a run for it. I’m sure he’d understand why I couldn’t follow his rule this time.
“Actually, you fell into my trap perfectly. I didn’t expect him to bring you here, but I expected him to leave you alone. My plan was to lure him here, then escape and come to you at his house. I didn’t really get past that, but I guess that’s okay since the plan changed a bit, anyway.”
Should I run for the building, or the woods surrounding the area? If I run to the building, I might get to Cain, but I might also put him in danger. If I run to the woods, I could get lost and Cain wouldn’t know if I’m hurt or not.
Clearly, he doesn’t know about Jonah. If Cain had left me home alone, Jonah would have been there, watching over me and making sure no one hurt me, including Cain’s father.
“But the question remains, what do I do with you?”
That’s my cue.
My hand closes the distance to the door handle and pushes, ripping the door away from the car. I’m ready to swing my body out of the seat, but a hand wraps in my hair and pulls, stopping my movement.
“CAIN!” The scream rips through my throat, made up of pain and desperation. There’s no way of telling if he can hear me inside the building, but it’s the best I can do.
“Even if I took you, he would just work tirelessly until he finds you again. I’d be better off making an example of you, don’t you agree?”
My teeth slam against each other, refusing to let him hear a single sound of pain or fear. If I do, he wins.
Whatever he does, you’ve had worse , I tell myself. I faced beatings for almost a month straight. There’s nothing he could do to me in this car that would be worse than that.
“Whether or not you agree, that’s what I’m going to do. When your precious Cain finds you, tell him that this is going to keep happening if he doesn’t leave you alone. I’m going to keep finding ways to torment you, hurt you, maybe even sell you again if he doesn’t send you away. It’s the only way he can protect you from me.”
Before I can fully process his words, he uses his grip on my hair to push my head forward, slamming my face into the dashboard. Pain explodes across my forehead, and then everything goes dark.
“Ainsley? Christ, Ainsley!”
The voice wraps around me like a comforting blanket, promising to keep me safe and happy from anything that wants to hurt me. My body is jerked back into the seat as my eyes struggle to open, but once they do, I find Cain hovering over me through the open car door.
“Ainsley? Can you hear me?”
A grumble is the only response I can manage, but it’s enough to ease the tension between his eyebrows just the slightest bit.
“What happened?” His eyes roam over my face, assessing the damage caused. By the throbbing in my forehead, I can already tell it won’t be pretty. He swipes his thumb against my temple gently, but when he pulls it away, it’s covered in blood. My blood.
“Your father,” I answer. Do I tell him everything? He wouldn’t push me away. No matter what that man thought would happen, Cain has worked too hard to push me away now. Even if he did, I wouldn’t let him. “He wanted to send a message.”
“What did he say?”
“That if you didn’t get me out of your life, he would keep finding new ways to hurt me. It was all really dramatic, and a bit over the top,” I tell him, trying to lighten his mood even just a little.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, baby, I never should have brought you here.”
Though it’s all foggy and too slow for my liking, his words still process through my mind.
“You called me baby. Does that mean you’re not mad at me anymore?”
His eyes are full of torment, almost as bad as the day he rescued me and found me about to jump off a balcony. He keeps scanning me, expecting to find more injuries, but the only thing that hurts is my head. It feels like it’s split open by an ax, but he doesn’t need to hear that right now.
“I’m more mad at myself right now,” he admits. He grabs the seatbelt and pulls it across my body, strapping me in and making sure I’m secure.
“Cain?” I call as he stands up and starts to close the door. He stops the swinging of his arm and meets my eyes. “I didn’t step a foot outside of the car.”