Chapter 20
Ainsley
I f I click through one more channel, I’m going to lose my mind. Who would have thought that there would be nothing playing on the TV at two o’clock on a Wednesday? I guess I could pick a streaming service, but I’m not really in the mood to watch anything. Too much is going through my mind to focus on an entire movie.
Cain left a few hours ago. We spent the morning in bed, just relaxing in each other’s arms. After the events of yesterday, it was a nice way to just relax and be together without the rest of the world interrupting us.
On the bright side, my recent injuries mean I don’t have to worry about training anymore. Though, after how easily I was knocked out last night, maybe training was best for me.
I have no idea where he went. He just told me he had errands to run, and that he would be home later. I never would have imagined myself sitting on the couch, waiting for him to come home again, but everything changed between us yesterday. Now, I want him to come home to me every day, just so I can see his infectious smile.
The lock clicks, filling the surrounding room with its noise as the door swings open. Finally , I think to myself. At least now, I won’t have to be bored all by myself.
It’s still hard to believe that he left me alone in the first place. Jonah is around somewhere, making sure I’m safe, but it’s not like Cain to leave after what happened last night. He would want to be here, being completely overbearing and watching me every second.
“Cainy!”
Every hair on my arms stands straight up as the tinkling voice fills my ears. There are only three people besides me I’ve ever seen inside this house, and that voice doesn’t belong to any of them.
“Cainy, are you here?”
I watch in horror as the owner of the voice rounds the corner into the living room, typing away on her phone and not even paying attention to her surroundings. Like she’s been here a hundred times and knows exactly where she’s going.
As much as I hate her familiarity with the house, I hate her looks even more. I should love them, really, because she looks exactly like me. Her blonde hair is a shade lighter than mine, the blue eyes staring a hole through her phone are almond-shaped, and she’s maybe an inch taller than me.
She stops in front of me and finally raises her eyes, looking me over as shock crosses her features. “Oh. It’s you,” she states.
“It’s me,” I agree, my voice angry where hers is surprised. “And you are…”
She pushes her phone into her back pocket and stands straighter, getting ready for the confrontation my crossed arms are promising.
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” she tells me instead of answering my question. “Here, you should probably sit for this. Is Cainy home?”
“His name is Cain,” I snap, irritated at the pet name she’s given him. Cain isn’t the type of guy to put up with something like that. “And I’d prefer to stand.”
She sighs, as if what she has to say is going to be hard to hear. “We’ve met before. Well, not officially. I saw you at Cain’s promotion ball, but I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Christina.”
Christina holds out a hand for me to shake while a sickeningly sweet smile stretches across her painted lips. Actually, her entire face is painted on. One good slap with a wet paper towel is all it would take to reveal a face I’m sure is just as hideous as the outfit she’s wearing.
Speaking of which, my eyes travel down her body as a sneer graces my own lips. She’s wearing a tight, revealing red dress, much like what Carlos used to dress me in. Actually, I think I might have been forced to wear that exact dress at some point.
“Why are you here?” I ask, cutting straight to the important question. Whatever her reason, I want her out of here. I don’t know her connection to Cain, but if she was at that ball, how do I know she’s not here to finish what Cain’s father started?
The door was locked , my traitorous thoughts whisper to me. How did she get in?
“Oh, sweetie,” she soothes me condescendingly, making me hate her even more. “Are you sure you don’t want to sit down for this? It won’t be easy for you to hear.”
Just then, Jonah comes rushing through the front door. He’s on high alert as his eyes scan the situation in the living room. As soon as he assures himself I’m okay, his stare turns to the intruder.
“Little bird, is everything okay?” He looks concerned, but doesn’t know what to do. He’s as confused as I am. “Mr. Ryker instructed me that no one should come here when he’s not with you.”
He moves to address Christina, presumably to kick her out of the house, but I hold up a hand to stop him.
“Why are you here?” I repeat, my patience wearing thinner the longer she stalls.
With a sigh, she pushes around me and sinks onto the couch where I was sitting only a minute ago.
“Cainy and I are… together,” she finally spits out. Jonah and I look at each other, neither of us believing her.
“Cain,” I correct her again. Her nickname is getting on my last nerve. “I don’t believe you. Why are you really here?”
Again, she sighs and throws her hands in the air. “Look, I didn’t think this would ever happen, okay? Cain and I hooked up a few times when we were younger, and when you left him a few months ago, he sought me out. Did you expect him to wait around for you, when you clearly didn’t want him?”
Her words slap me in the face, and this time, I don’t look at Jonah. I did leave him; who am I to judge if he needed company during our time apart? But, if that’s all it was, why is she here now?
“We started sleeping together, and things sort of… escalated. We’ve been seeing each other more frequently, and he gave me a key to his house so I could come over whenever I want. That’s why I’m here, actually. He texted me and told me he misses me, so I decided I’d come surprise him. I had no idea you were still here.”
Still here? “You knew I was here?”
She looks at me with pity in her eyes, and now I really want to get that wet paper towel. “I didn’t agree with his plan, and I tried to get him to drop it. He just couldn’t let it go.”
“What are you talking about?”
She stands from her spot on the couch and approaches me like I’m a scared animal that might strike if she gets too close.
“You broke him when you left. I put him together, but he never forgave you. He even carved your name into himself so he wouldn’t forget the pain you caused him until he could return it. He wanted to bring you here and make you fall in love with him again, so he could break you the way you broke him,” she explains, still being cautious of me.
None of what she’s saying is true. Cain would never do that to me. He’s worked so hard to bring me back to him. But, is that why? Did he need me to give into him, so he could break me?
She knows about my name between his hips. The only way she’d know that about him is if she saw him with his shirt off, which Cain only does when he’s home.
“I don’t believe you,” I repeat myself. There’s not as much conviction in my voice as my heart and brain try to battle one another.
“He already broke you, didn’t he?” Her eyes are still full of pity, though there’s a glimmer of victory in them now. She’s enjoying all of this. “I wish I could have warned you, but you dug your own grave, honey. Cainy just wanted his revenge.”
My body whirls around as my eyes seek Jonah. He looks just as torn as I feel, though his body language says he’s still prepared to kick her out.
“Is any of this true?” I demand. He clearly doesn’t know this girl. Wouldn’t he have seen her around if she’s been coming here for months?
“I’m sorry, little bird, but I don’t know,” he answers gently. “Since Mr. Ryker hired me, my job has been to watch over you. I spent little time here until this week.”
I whirl back to the girl as I try to process everything. “Why should I believe you? Cain loves me. He would never do anything to hurt me.”
“Oh, honey,” she says again. My palm itches to meet her face, but I keep it glued to my side while I await her answer. “Look, you don’t have to believe me, I’m just trying to be the nice person in this horrible situation.”
“Tell me why I should believe you,” I demand. Tears are welling up in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall in front of her. Did he choose her because she looks like me? Is that how he was able to get over me?
Too much is adding up. The way he pushed me to give into him over the last few days, telling me he wanted me to fall in love with him all over again. He was all too happy to carve his name into my back, knowing it would be a permanent reminder of everything that happened. He even ostracized me from Ethan last night by telling me that our friendship isn’t just a friendship to Ethan. Everything he’s done this week makes sense if I look at it as his revenge.
“Look, I’m going to go,” she announces as she goes to step around me, but she stops right beside me. “Last night, you gave into him at a dinner with your best friend, and he fucked you outside against the house. He told me that right before he told me he misses me.”
That’s the final straw for me. The only way she would know that is if Cain told her. Ethan knew what happened against his house, but he doesn’t know why. Only Cain and I know why, and apparently, this girl does, too.
She walks out of the house, closing the door behind her and leaving me alone with Jonah. I’m too ashamed to look at him.
“Ainsley,” he starts, but I hold up a hand to signal that I don’t want to hear it. Cain has already made a fool of me, I don’t need Jonah to acknowledge it.
I need to get out of here. Panic is setting in, threatening to crush me, and I can’t breathe. Every breath I pull into my lungs reminds me of Cain. The smell of his cologne lingering throughout the house. The smell of our sweat mingling together every time we fucked, even on the couch right in front of me. The way he liked to take my breath away by wrapping his hand around my throat.
Without looking at Jonah, I rush through the room, headed straight for the garage.
“Ainsley!” he calls as he follows me.
“Let me leave,” I yell back to him through my tears.
As I reach the garage and pull a random set of keys off the hook by the door, I hear Jonah’s voice again. “Boss,” he greets. My heart stops as I wait to hear Cain’s voice, but the only thing I hear is Jonah launching into an abbreviated version of what just happened. I don’t need to hear this again.
With keys in hand, I dart into the garage and slam the door behind myself. As I hit the unlock button on the key fob, I see lights blink on the other side of the garage. Rushing past motorcycles I’ve never seen him ride, flashy cars I’d be terrified to drive, and practical cars that wouldn’t stand out in a parking lot, I come to the one car that brings me satisfaction to be taking.
I had nothing other than escape on my mind when I swiped the set of keys, but as the bright red Corvette fills my field of vision, a vicious smirk crosses my lips. I hope he feels the same pain I’m feeling when he realizes it’s gone.
Mentally flipping him off, I slide into the front seat and hit the garage door button. Adrenaline rushes through me as the tires squeal out of the garage and I hit the pavement of the driveway.
If any of that was true, I imagine Cain will still at least come for his car. I hope he does. If he wants to see me broken, I’ll give him the exact opposite. I’ll show him he didn’t affect me, that this was all a game to me, too.
My head throbs as the light hits my eyes, but I push through as I race down the street. It won’t take me long to get back to my apartment. Even though I won’t be safe from him there, at least I’ll be in my own space.
From my pocket, my phone lets out a shrill sound, alerting me to the call coming through. I pull it out and glance at the screen long enough to see who’s calling, even though I already know the answer.
Against my better judgment, I accept the call.
“Ainsley,” he growls through the phone, and damn my body for erupting into goosebumps at the sound.
“Go to hell,” I growl right back. I end the call before he can respond. Glancing between my phone and the road to make sure I don’t crash, I block his number.
While the drive stretches in front of me and I’m left alone with my tormenting thoughts, all I want to do is call Ethan for comfort, or even go straight to his house. But, after what I learned last night, I can’t trust him to not use this situation to his advantage. If he’s really in love with me, he might take this whole situation as a victory, seeing it as an opportunity to get to me.
I hate that those are the thoughts I have about my own best friend now. If he had only told me his feelings himself, we could have talked about it. Our relationship wouldn’t have to be weird like it is now.
Once I finally make it back to my apartment, I park his car sideways across a parking spot, hoping I get the stupid thing towed, and rush up to my door. Hesitantly, I reach for the doorknob. I didn’t take my keys with me, but I don’t remember Cain locking the door, either.
As I twist the knob, it doesn’t stop until the door is swinging open, allowing me to enter. Well, hopefully nothing was stolen while I was gone, but that’s not really on my list of concerns right now.
The inside of my apartment is silent as I close the door and lock it behind me. Both of my roommates are still on break, as is most of campus. I’ll be completely alone here, unless he comes for me.
Suddenly, I don’t feel so brave as I think of him coming after me and confronting me in my home. I’m not ready to face him.
Bile rises up my throat as I slap a hand over my mouth and sprint to my bathroom. I make it just in time. Everything I’ve eaten today explodes out of my mouth just as I kneel in front of the toilet.
I must imagine him here, because I feel his hands gripping my hair as he whispers soothingly into my ear. My heart wishes he was here, wishes he was the same Cain I made so much progress with yesterday, but my brain knows better.
Vomiting makes my head throb even more, but as soon as I think I’m done, the image of Cain with that girl flashes across my mind. Even when there’s no more food to throw up, I continue dry heaving into the toilet.
How am I supposed to confront him when I can’t even think about him without losing it?
He won. It’s as simple as that. If this was a game for him, then he won, and I’ll be left to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart. As Christina said, I dug my grave. Now I just need to lie in it.