Chapter 16
Taylor
“Ohmygod, Tay, just text him already!” Livvy yells even though she’s sitting right next to me on the couch. I declared an S.O.S. after getting Knox’s message that he wouldn’t be coming to work today, and Livvy skipped her afternoon lab to talk me off the ledge.
“I did!” I yell back at the same volume.
“Then give it a rest! He’ll either text you back or he’ll ignore you. Jesus, Bird. I’ve never known you to be so neurotic over a guy.”
I give her a pointed look because being neurotic over guys is my specialty.
I’m very excitable. I love this about myself, but it does mean I have a tendency to fall hard and fast. I also tend to get more excited about my relationships than my partners do, and I allow them to bleed me dry.
Patrick was the worst example, but there were others before him.
Now that Livvy’s done with her chips and salsa, she pulls my feet into her lap and reaches for the bottle of coral-colored nail polish on the end table. It’s an age-old tradition for us. Mom used to get so pissed when we’d ruin yet another couch pillow with nail polish stains.
“Rude. I don’t like your tone,” I tell my sister.
She sighs. “We’ve been over this, Tay. Feels like history is repeating itself.”
I don’t know how to explain that this is different.
And even if I could, I’m not sure she’d believe me.
I think back to last night and the way I pulled my hand back before I touched Knox’s skin uninvited—although admittedly, he didn’t seem to mind me feasting on his neck. After all, he did kiss me after that.
Livvy cuts her eyes to me then studies my face like she can see right through me. Hell, she usually can.
“What aren’t you telling me?” she asks, beginning to paint my big toenail.
“I went to his house last night.”
Her head jerks up so fast, we almost have our first pillow casualty.
“Without telling me?” she screeches.
“I’m telling you now.”
“What if he’d tried to take advantage of you? I remember him from that bar bathroom, Tay. The man is not small.”
Thinking of Knox makes me warm all over. Thinking about how easily I fit on his lap makes a goofy grin spread across my face, and I waggle my eyebrows.
“I know.” Livvy rolls her eyes, and I start getting annoyed. “When did you turn into one of those people who assume I can’t defend myself?”
“I just worry about you.”
I touch her shoulder and make her look at me. “Are you going to turn this into a big deal?”
Livvy usually hates to argue. Especially with me. She huffs out a sigh and switches to my other foot.
“I guess I just don’t get how you could have that much in common with a guy twenty years older than you. Like, when you’re thirty, he’ll be—”
“Fifty, Liv. Fifty. That’s not old. As long as he’s over eighteen and he consents, I have the right to choose who I fuck.”
“Don’t preach at me, Bird. I’ve always had your back.”
I give her the sternest expression I can muster. “Is that so?”
She closes her eyes like I’m testing the limits of her patience. “Okay, so I might have taken Damon’s side that one time. I just don’t want to see you get heartbroken again.”
“Who’s getting heartbroken? I just want to have a good time and help a sexy, closeted, bear of a man find the rainbow-colored light.” Knowing she’ll be on my side if I tell her how he stood up for me, I add, “And he fired the concrete guys for talking shit about my clothes.”
“You didn’t tell me that,” Livvy says before blowing on my toes to dry the polish.
“Well, that’s why I needed you to come over tonight. I’ve been dying to tell someone about him.”
“So, what happened at his house?”
Knowing she’ll absolutely flip her shit if I tell her about the voicemail and phone call with his ex—because let’s be honest, she already thinks this is a train wreck—I go with, “We just talked.”
She laughs. “Yeeeeeahhhh, right.”
“There was one kiss, but I swear, that’s all. This feels different, Liv,” I finally tell her. “I can’t really explain it, but I’m actually sort of dreading Monday when I have to go back to work.”
My sister, like me, is very expressive with her face, and I laugh when her eyes go wide.
“Taylor Jordan Landry! You never dread going to work! Ohmygod, this is more serious than I thought,” she says, placing the back of her hand across her forehead.
I can’t help but laugh at her theatrics before getting serious again. “He’s a good man dealing with some heavy stuff. I just want to be a bright spot for him, you know?”
Livvy pats my hand. “I know, Tay. You’re the brightest bright spot anyone could hope for. You’re basically the sun.”
I narrow my eyes. “I honestly can’t tell. Are you making fun of me right now?”
“Shockingly, no,” she says before changing the subject. “Oh! Are we still on for jet skis tomorrow?”
“Absolutely,” I confirm right as my phone goes off with a text alert.
I grab for it so fast, Livvy says, “Oooh, is that him?”
I flash my phone at her so she can see the name, but not the message, and then quickly turn it back to my face so I can read Knox’s words.
Knox
You didn’t. It’s just a lot to work through.
Thank you again for coming over.
Sorry, I passed out. Not my finest moment.
But I took your advice, and I’m talking about it with some friends.
Something akin to jealousy ricochets through me. I want Knox to talk to me about this.
Taylor
Care to share with the class?
Bubbles appear and disappear for about a solid minute, making my palms sweat, until finally his answer comes through.
Knox
They think I should explore this.
Taylor
So do I.
Knox’s walls are coming down, and I feel like today’s interactions are crucial for pushing this thing forward. After sharing that vulnerable moment in his living room, I’m more certain than ever that I want in.
It might be a conceited thought, but Knox needs me…and he’s starting to get more comfortable with the idea of wanting me as well.
I hear his truck rumble into the driveway right as I end a call with my parents—who I’ve not said a single word to about this budding attraction.
Patrick was a good friend of theirs, and when he went to them apologizing, he did it by using the victim card…
which made me the aggressor. To say it put a strain on my relationship with my parents is an understatement.
Treading carefully, I throw on a T-shirt and a pair of shorts before going down to say hello to the guys.
I wait until everyone’s out back before opening the door, careful not to single Knox out. When it was playful flirting, catching him alone was part of the game. Now that it’s turning into something else, I’m trying to be hyper-aware of my actions and their consequences.
It’s already heating up outside, but who doesn’t love fresh coffee? Knowing they’re sealing the patio today, I load up my breakfast platter and walk around the front of the house to make sure I stay out of the way and don’t step on something I shouldn’t.
When I round the corner, I stop dead in my tracks. Knox is on his hands and knees, scrubbing the stone. Every muscle in his arms is flexing with the movement.
I’m lost in a daydream when Phil’s voice brings me back to the moment.
“Oh, hey, Taylor. Whatcha got there?”
I startle slightly, but recover quickly enough to tell him I brought them breakfast if they’re interested.
“I’ll just leave it on the table over here,” I tell the guys, placing it on Knox and I’s lunch spot from a few days ago.
“You know,” Javi says, starting in on a muffin. “I’ll be sad when this job is done. Think this is my favorite project we’ve ever had.”
“You just like Taylor’s cooking.” Phil laughs.
“You’re not wrong,” Javi says around a bite of muffin.
Knox stays quiet, but when I glance over at him, he’s already looking at me. A glint of sadness in his eyes.
“Maybe my parents will love their porch so much, they’ll ask you to do the kitchen or the bathroom next?” I suggest, only partly joking, because I just realized I don’t want them to finish this job either.
What is happening to me? Dreading work? Not wanting to go back home to my own apartment? I hardly recognize myself.
Will Knox give me a reason to see him once this job is done? If he were to have to make an effort to see me instead of me just being in his path, would it be worth it to him? If I offered, would he take me up on it?
He never confirmed last night if he agreed with his friends and me on giving this a real shot, and I only have three days left to find out.
Much to my dismay, Knox is totally professional all morning.
Thinking I’ll get my chance to talk to him when Phil and Javi go to lunch, I’m disappointed—but also happy that he’s allowing himself to be included—when Knox follows them around the front of the house and they all climb in his truck.
I have to leave soon to meet my sister at the marina and will probably be gone when he gets back.
I pull my phone out to fire a text, only to see that Knox has already sent one.
Knox
We’re going to grab tacos. Be right back.
You want anything?
Taylor
I’m leaving to meet my sister in a few minutes, but thank you for the offer.
Knox
Wish I’d known. It was a busy morning, but we should probably talk.
I briefly think about offering dinner. What better or more mature way to talk than over a meal, face-to-face, like adults? But then I think about the fact that he might want to talk about how this isn’t/can’t/won’t/shouldn’t happen, and I’ll end up crying in my Bolognese.
Taylor
I’ll be unavailable most of the day, but I can call you when I get back?
He sends a thumbs-up emoji, leaving me more confused than ever.