Chapter 31
Knox
Taylor and I spend the first part of the night in a tangle of limbs and tongues, only to hit the shower and start all over again.
When muted, gray sunlight finally begins filtering through his bedroom curtains, it brings a heaviness with it that has nothing to do with the next storm rolling in.
I don’t want him to go.
I’m not done with whatever this is. I don’t want to go back to sleeping alone, coming home to an empty house, using my own hand to get off.
By the time I drop Tay off at his parents’ house to get his car and meet them upon their return, I could damn near crawl out of my skin.
“Hey,” he says, feet tucked under him in my passenger seat as he leans on my center console once I’m parked behind his car in his parents’ driveway.
“So, I was thinking maybe I could come back over to your place tonight after dinner? I have to be up early tomorrow to catch my flight, but I want to spend the night with you if you’ll have me. ”
“Yes!” I practically shout in the enclosed cab of the truck. Clearing my throat, I try for a slightly more respectable, dignified response. “I mean, you’re always welcome at my house, Taylor.”
He nudges my shoulder with a smile.
“Good, then I can give you a decent goodbye.” Desire licks through my veins, and my face must give it away because Taylor laughs. “Slow down, big boy. I still owe you a proper blowjob.”
I pull him across the center console onto my lap.
“I know it probably makes me sound like a high school girl, but I’ll be counting the hours until you’re back in my arms.”
Taylor snickers. “Well, considering high school wasn’t that long ago for me, at least that’s an analogy I can understand.”
I poke his ribs, knowing he’s ticklish. “Oh, you have jokes, do you?” He twists and turns and writhes on my lap, eventually pushing on the horn, making us both burst into laughter. Collecting myself, I tell him to enjoy his time with his parents and to text me when he’s on his way over.
By the time his text message comes in, I’ve worn pathways through my house. I’ve showered, done laundry, changed the sheets, washed every dish I own…twice, and even done some fucking landscaping.
I’m restless without him.
When his BMW pulls into my driveway, a surge of powerful emotion rips through me, and I greet him as if we’ve already been apart for days instead of a few hours, pulling him into the house and kicking the door closed.
“Hey, I’m just gone until Thursday. I’ll come straight here when I get back.” Taylor laughs as I kiss every inch of him that I can access.
How did my perception of time change so much in ten days? Thursday is forever from now. Four days feels impossible.
Clingy bastard, my brain chastises.
I’ve been gone for Taylor since that first kiss in the bar.
But fuck. He’ll leave all the time. What if one day, he just doesn’t come back, and I relive my past all over again? That’ll be the end of me.
“Hey, Knox,” Taylor says. “Where’d you go?” He rubs himself against me, and the contact feels almost painful because it’s about to be taken away from me.
I should end this before I allow myself to get hurt by the obvious impermanence of this relationship. All the reasons I shouldn’t have gone down this road are still valid.
But when he brushes a hand across my cheek, I realize…I simply don’t want to end it.
Be someone else, they said.
Do something different, they said.
Well, here I am, but… “What happens next?” I ask Taylor, so out of my element here.
I’m used to calling the shots and coming up with the plan, but right now, I know nothing.
“I don’t know how I’m going to handle the distance,” I admit, bringing my lips to his neck, just to taste him again.
It’s impossible to look at Taylor and not want to overwhelm all five of my senses with him.
“I can text on the plane,” he says, tilting his neck to the side, allowing me better access while simultaneously pulling me down the hallway toward the primary bedroom.
“What if I need more?” I ask, not giving two shits about how needy I sound as I walk him backwards toward the bed once we enter the room. I’m also not sure if I’m talking about right now or while he’s gone.
“I’ll FaceTime you when I get to the hotel.”
“More,” I growl against his skin, actually getting pissed that Taylor has a respectable job that’s going to take him away from me. My hands are now working their hardest to get these damn pants off.
“We’ll get off together on the video call,” he offers, getting more breathless with every passing second.
Once his pants are down far enough to bare his ass, I spin him around, bend him forward at the waist, and spank him hard on an upstroke.
The force of it rocks him forward.
What the fuck was that? I’ve never spanked anyone in my entire life.
I’m about to apologize for whatever monster has clearly taken over my brain, but then he groans and pushes his round ass back toward me.
“Fuck, Knox. Do that again. The other side. Even it out.”
Don’t have to ask me twice, baby.
A loud crack rings through the air as my hand lands on his opposite cheek this time. Taylor rolls his hips into the mattress, seeking friction, and I lose my goddamn mind.
Gripping his waist, I lift him onto the bed. He lands on his hands and knees just like I wanted. He hasn’t even stopped bouncing before my hands are on his ass, spreading his cheeks.
I have a lot of negative qualities, but one of my more positive traits is that I don’t really half-ass anything. If I’m in this with Taylor, I want all of it. The full experience.
Do I have any fucking clue how to eat an ass?
Nope, but I learn best by doing, and I remember what I liked when he did it.
Before my tongue lands anywhere near him, Taylor lies flat and rolls over.
I do not like being denied.
I stay quiet, warning him to get back into position with my clenched jaw and demanding stare.
The little shit just laughs.
“It’s not a no, Knox. It’s an if you’re going to eat my ass, I need to at least grab a quick shower.”
“You didn’t let me take a shower first,” I grumble, trying to flip him back over.
“Normally, I wouldn’t if you didn’t want me to, but I just spent the last three hours in a pool of my own ass sweat on my parents’ new back porch, which my insanely hot boyfriend happened to build, rubbing my thighs together because they wanted to talk about what I did while they were gone,” he reassures me.
“Want it now,” I say through clenched teeth.
“Then let me shower,” he answers stubbornly. After thirty seconds of a stare-down, he laughs. “Give me two minutes in the shower.”
I wave my hand toward the bathroom. “Go.”
It only takes him forty seconds. The droplets of water clinging to his skin when he makes his way to the bed are still cold, making me laugh.
“You didn’t even let the water get warm.”
Crawling onto the bed on his hands and knees, he gives me a sly smile. “I knew I’d heat up fast enough.” He looks like a majestic, powerful feline as he moves on all fours before dropping onto his forearms.
I only hesitate for a second. If I do it wrong, I’m confident Taylor will tell me what he likes instead. On my knees behind him, I spread him wide and tentatively bring my tongue to his bare hole. A quick swipe to test the waters, and I’m a fucking goner.
I dive back in for another taste much more aggressively than the first and Taylor lurches forward. My hands are gripping his waist, though, so he doesn’t make it far.
I lick and suck like he’s my last meal.
I shake my head from side to side, trying to wedge myself deeper, when he lets out the most delicious moan I’ve ever heard.
“Mmmm, fuck. Your beard feels so fucking good there.”
There is no rhythm, no finesse, no plan to my movements. It’s just raw lust and a need to taste him, permanently brand him on my tastebuds so his flavor lasts well beyond Thursday.
His hand disappears, and I realize he’s stroking his cock. Adept at multi-tasking, I bat his hand away, lean over to grab a pump of lube, and take over. I’ve now got my left hand supporting myself, my face buried deep in Taylor’s ass, and my right hand flying up and down his shaft.
I’m rewarded with him fisting my sheets, pushing back into me, and panting my name.
No one has ever said my name like this…like I’m driving him insane with pleasure and need, and he can’t get enough.
Neither can I.
Taylor makes me feel like I’ve been vindicated. Found not guilty of being a dull lover.
Curiosity and desire make a deadly combination, and I find myself wanting to explore this more. More. More.
Reaching over to the nightstand, I pump another small amount of lube into my hand and begin coating my fingers. Once they’re lubed, I run them along his crease and smile when he moans.
“You sure you’re ready for all this?” Taylor asks. I think he’s twisting to look at me over his shoulder, but I can’t take my eyes off the mesmerizing sight before me.
“I’m ready,” I confirm, trailing my index finger along his body until I’m in position to breach his hole. “Are you ready?”
“I was born ready,” he says with all the sass I’ve come to expect from him. “Just go slow. It’s been a while.”
I bite back the angry, jealous remark fighting to break free from my lips, knowing I’m being ridiculous. Mine, my inner voice says, loud and clear.
Trying to push the thought to side, I dip the tip of my index finger inside him.
He clenches around me, and I freeze. He’s so tight I can feel my pulse in my fingertip.
I fight the urge to drive in farther until he tells me he’s ready, but it’s a lot fucking harder to go slow than I thought it’d be.
Finally, he relaxes and says, “Okay, more.”
By the time I’m in up to my second knuckle, my cock is weeping pre-cum.
“Curl your finger,” Taylor instructs, his voice barely sounding like his own.
I do as he says, and I feel his cock bounce in appreciation from my position inside his body. I push in a little farther and swipe again.
“Ungh, fuuuuck,” Taylor cries with his face in the sheets.
That’s when I realize I’m stroking his prostate. With no family history of cancer, I’m not due for a prostate exam for another year. It’s something I’ve always dreaded, especially as it looms closer, but watching Taylor’s reaction to the touch, I’m more intrigued than anything.
“Knox,” he pants. “Add another finger. Please make me come.”
I slip a second finger in alongside the first, starting slowly but gaining speed the more he relaxes into my touch. Before long, I can’t tear my eyes away from where my fingers are pistoning in and out of his ass.
The longer I keep going, the more I find my own ass clenching, seemingly disgruntled that it’s not getting its turn to be filled.
“Oohhhhmygod, yeeessss,” Taylor cries. He shifts his weight to one arm and begins jacking himself off again.
A wave of desire hits me so hard I pull his hand off his dick. Mine, that inner voice demands again as I take over. With one hand penetrating his ass and the other trying to match the same rhythm on his cock, I slow both movements as his name falls from my lips.
“Taylor.” I’m dizzy with lust, and my voice sounds far away.
“Hm?” he hums, his face still muffled by the sheets as he fucks himself on my fingers.
“Is it too soon to ask you to fuck me?”
My question causes him to go totally still before rocking forward and rolling onto his back.
I’m no longer connected to him, and I regret my question.
He looks up at me, studying my features, no doubt trying to gauge if I’m serious before he gives his answer.
“There’s not really a timeline for that.
It can happen whenever we decide we’re ready. ”
“I’m ready,” I blurt like a horny, overeager teenager. But when Taylor stays quiet instead of jumping at the chance to get laid, I lose some of my enthusiasm. “I mean, if you don’t want—”
“Please don’t even think about finishing that sentence,” Taylor says, interrupting me. “This is a big deal, Knox. My first time wasn’t, but that’s because I’m me. I don’t want to rush this and risk screwing it all up because you’re you, and your first time with a guy should be perfect.”
“And while I appreciate your sentiment, my mind is made up,” I argue. “I don’t want a guy. I want you. I want this,” I tell him. “Please.”
I’m startled by the vehemence in my words.
Ten days.
That’s all it took to send everything I thought I knew about myself, sex, and relationships completely up in flames.