Chapter 32
Taylor
Iwant to hold out, go slow, take our time, but I also understand that Knox has never done this before and is eager for what comes next. If I were a better man, I’d put my foot down. I’d try to protect him and do whatever I could to convince him we should wait.
But I’m not a better man.
And truth be told, I’ve wanted to sink into him since the night I first laid eyes on him.
I’m shocked at his request, though. I’d assumed he’d be asking to fuck me since that’s far closer to the norm he’s used to, but the need and desire dripping from him has my resolve crumbling faster than a house of cards.
“You’re sure?” I ask, needing to hear the words again. I hate Patrick for making me second-guess every interaction I have with Knox. Even now, the words Patrick said to my parents plague me.
‘Taylor used my grief to seduce me. I was weak, and he took advantage of that, making me think I wanted things my rational mind would never have agreed to.’
Fuck him for saying those things…and fuck me for starting to believe them.
I try to push him to the back of my mind, unable to eradicate him completely when Knox answers.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
The seriousness of this situation has caused my impending orgasm to recede slightly as I mentally prepare to walk Knox through this. Wanting him to know his options, I offer for him to fuck me instead.
“It’s an easier transition, I think. It more closely resembles what you’re used to.”
“I don’t want what I’m used to, Tay. I want whatever this is,” he reassures me.
Nodding, I choose to believe him, knowing if he regrets this in the morning, then he and I are over before we really got started, and that I’ll most likely never recover.
“Go take a shower,” I instruct. “You’ll be able to relax more if you’re confident that your body is clean and ready.” I spend five minutes detailing the prep work I want him to do. All the unsexy things that go with bottoming, but that make all the difference in having a pleasurable experience.
When he comes out twenty minutes later, his expression is a mix of excitement, shyness, and anxiety.
I hold my hand out for him from my spot on the bed. “Come here.”
He comes to me easily and immediately kisses me deeply, reaching for my cock. I grin as I intercept his hand and lace our fingers together.
“I’m having a really hard time keeping my dick in check right now, so if you want to go through with this, I would advise you to keep your hands to yourself for the time being.”
He nods, with no hint of laughter.
“Hey,” I say, pulling back to look in his eyes. “Relax. It’s okay to smile, laugh, or make a joke, even. I’ve got you, okay?”
He nods again, but remains quiet.
“Did you do everything I told you to?” I ask.
Again, he nods.
“All of it?” I clarify.
“Yes.”
“And you’re a little more familiar with how it feels and what to expect?”
“Yes.”
I can’t believe I’m about to fuck a guy who’s never even had a finger in his ass, but then again, making great decisions isn’t something I’ve ever been accused of.
“Good. Then lie down on your back,” I instruct, trying to keep the nerves out of my voice. I want to be able to see his face through this because it will tell me everything his mouth won’t.
I want to start by dragging my tongue across his hole, but this angle is tough.
“Lift your hips.” He does what I ask, and I slide the pillow under his lower back. It helps, but not enough. “Grab your legs behind your knees and hold yourself open for me.”
He hesitates slightly at the vulnerable position, but slowly makes his way there, and I smile as I drop to my stomach, preparing to feast.
I lap at his hole, reveling in his scent, flavor, and the experience itself. It doesn’t take long before he lets go of one of his legs so he can put his hand on the back of my head. The more he gets into this, the more I do as well.
Pulling back, I spit on his asshole again, remembering he’d responded so well the first time. The way he clenches makes my already-aching cock burrow into the mattress painfully.
“Please, Tay. I need to feel you.”
When a man like Knox Bennett fucking pleads for you to touch him, you don’t make him wait.
Reaching over to the nightstand, I pump the bottle and coat my index finger in lube before bringing it back to his body and rimming his entrance.
His moans tell me everything I need to know.
“Try to relax for me. You can even bear down a little and that’ll help,” I instruct as I begin working my way inside.
A string of expletives leaves his mouth, and I still my finger.
“You doing okay?” I ask.
He blows out an exhale. “I think so.”
“No existential crisis about getting fingered in the ass?” I ask with a smile. Yes, this is a big deal and an important moment, but I stand by what I said earlier. It’s still good to smile, laugh, and make a joke through it.
“No, just getting nervous about how your entire cock is going to fit.”
“Ouch,” I hiss.
“That was supposed to be a compliment,” Knox says at my outburst.
“I know. Thinking about sinking my cock into your tight hole made it twitch, but it’s already cramped painfully against the mattress,” I explain. “Stay relaxed, I’m going to push in a little farther.”
Knox does an incredible job, and I can’t help myself, because as soon as I know I can reach, I curl my finger and swipe across his prostate to give him a taste of his own medicine.
He lets go of his other leg now so he can grip the sheets with both hands. Since I don’t need my face in the same place anymore, the new position works just fine, and I slowly stroke that sweet spot inside him.
“That…that’s…so fucking good,” he finally groans. His eyes are closed, his breathing is labored, and he’s getting as worked up as I need him to be before we go any further.
Slowly, I begin to slide my finger in and out of him. The whimpers that leave this big, strong man will be my absolute undoing.
“More,” he begs a few minutes later.
I don’t say a word. I just lube up my middle finger and begin to work it in next to my index, pausing every few seconds so he can adjust.
After working up to three fingers, I’m finally confident he can handle my cock. I’m a good option for his first. Although I pack a decent punch below the belt, my girth is average, and I won’t run the risk of actually splitting him open.
But wait…
“Knox. Condoms.”
He picks his head up to look at me. “I don’t want them. I haven’t had sex in years, Taylor. The last thing I want is a barrier between us.”
I’m dangerously close to crying when I realize how much he trusts me for this. Nodding my head, I confess, “I haven’t slept with anyone since Patrick, and he never went without.” Plus, I never fucked him, I think to myself, making this moment even more precious.
“I trust you,” Knox says, his head dropping back on the pillow.
I use an extreme amount of lube on my cock, more concerned about hurting him than I am about having enough friction to get off, and then I’m lining myself up to him.
“I’ll go slow,” I promise.
Knox’s eyes stay on me as I look down to see where I’m aiming.
Though I haven’t topped in quite a while—because Patrick never bottomed—it’s like riding a bike.
“The first part will burn the worst because the head is flared. As soon as we get past that, your body will pull me in instead of fighting to keep me out,” I explain, trying to keep him at ease.
“I just want you so fucking badly,” Knox says, the tears in his voice calling my eyes to his. He isn’t actually crying, but his desperation is palpable.
“I’m right here, baby,” I tell him, realizing that just like me, Knox probably needs reassurance now and then, too.
He leans forward and laces the fingers of his left hand with my right as the widest part of my cock enters his body.
“Breathe,” I command, and he does so immediately, the rest of his body following suit a second later.
I’m taken aback by much he trusts me, how he doesn’t question me, and how we seem to have a balanced give-and-take of power.
And on the heels of that thought is the one where I realize I don’t think I’ve ever had that in a relationship before.
A shuddering breath rips through me as I enter Knox’s body, and the vacuum effect draws me in deep.
“Ohmygod. Is it like this every time?” Knox asks through his own panted breaths.
I want to answer him, but I’m afraid that if I activate the muscles to open my mouth, the movement will also make me come.
“Taylor, please move,” Knox whines under me.
Clenching my jaw, I do my best to answer. “Need a minute.”
The bastard starts rocking his pelvis back and forth, fucking himself on my cock until I place my hands on his hips, his happy trail mocking me the entire time. “If you want me to fuck you until you forget your name, you’re going to need to hold still a second.”
I close my eyes and get myself under control, but as soon as I open them, I’m almost ready to lose it again. Knox’s thick cock is rock hard. The tip is swollen, and the string of pre-cum dripping into the hair of his happy trail has my balls so fucking tight I’m afraid I might lose one.
“As soon as I start moving, the countdown will begin. I promise I’ll get you off, but I don’t think I can hold my orgasm back.”
“I don’t think you’ll have to,” Knox answers, moving his hips again.
Placing my palms on his knees, I push them back into his chest while also using them as leverage, and I begin rocking in and out of him.
“Oh, fuck,” I moan, my head rolling back before I quickly bring my eyes back to the sight in front of me.
“Should’ve done this sooner,” Knox mutters. I have his massive frame almost folded in half, and he reaches forward, placing his hands on my hips.
“Every night from now on,” I say, picking up speed with each thrust. I look down, spit directly on his cock, and wrap my hand around it. “I need you to come with me, Knox. I’m going over the edge, and I want you there, too.”
I pump my hand three times for every one thrust of my hips, and I can tell he’s getting close because his cockhead is swelling and—
“Oh, fuck yes. Taylor, I’m there. I’m—”
“Give it to me,” I demand. “Your pleasure belongs to me. I’m the only one allowed to fuck it out of you.”
“Yes…fuck…ungh…ungh…unnnngh.” Knox groans, his abs contract, and his ass chokes my cock so hard I’m flying over the edge right after him.
Slamming my hips into him, I spill so far up his ass he’ll be leaking my cum for a week.
Several minutes later, I still haven’t caught my breath, but I slide out of Knox as gently as I can and grab a warm, wet washcloth from his bathroom to begin the cleanup process.
I think he’s asleep until I begin to drag the cloth over his ass, and he bolts upright.
“I can do that.”
I press a kiss to his chest before pushing him back down with my hand. “I know. But this is part of it. I made the mess. I’ll clean it up.” A lesson that was obviously not taught to several of my previous partners.
Knox sounds almost angry when he says, “You don’t have to wipe my ass for Christ’s sake, Taylor.”
And then I realize he’s embarrassed. Post-nut clarity is a real thing and sometimes it creates more problems than the sex itself.
I stop what I’m doing and sit back on my heels. “Did you enjoy it?”
“Obviously,” he answers grumpily.
“Then why the attitude?” I ask, not letting him off the hook.
He’s quiet while he searches for an answer before finally saying, “This part doesn’t feel sexy.”
“Oh, but it is. Nothing is hotter than watching my cum drip from your hole. In fact, I’d actually rather watch it for twenty minutes and then clean you up, but baby steps.” I shoot him a wink, and he shakes his head.
He likes to pretend that he thinks I’m being ridiculous, but I know he loves it.
Once we’re both cleaned up and back in bed, I lay my head on his chest.
“So, is it safe to say we’re doing this?” I ask as Knox’s fingers play with my hair.
“This, as in a relationship?” he asks, and I feel him looking down at me. I catch his smirk out of the corner of my eye as he follows it up with another question. “Are you asking me to DTR?”
Now it’s my turn to shake my head and laugh. “You’re showing your age with that phrase.”
“Says the guy with the theme song to Friends as his ringtone,” Knox fires back.
“Hey, Friends is iconic and transcends generational age gaps, thank you very much.”
Growing serious, Knox asks, “Do you think we can transcend a generational age gap?”
“I think we just did.”