Chapter 37
Knox
Livvy’s still yammering on about how she can’t believe Tay’s willingly singing a Taylor Swift song for me, but the importance of that act is lost due to the fact that Patrick is touching my fucking boyfriend again.
“Oh, fuck no,” I growl, standing so fast I almost knock our table over.
“Knox?” I vaguely hear Livvy shout my name before the fury ringing in my ears takes over everything.
Yanking Taylor out of Patrick’s grip and tucking him to my side, I place my hands on either side of his face. “Are you okay?” I ask.
Before Taylor has a chance to answer, Patrick does it for him, clearly annoyed at being interrupted again. “He’s fine. It’s not like I kicked him, for fuck’s sake.”
“I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from him.” Pushing Taylor behind me, I feel myself starting to lose control, and I don’t want him to get caught in the crossfire. “Go sit with your sister.”
“And I thought I told you, Taylor can talk to whomever he wants.”
This pretentious fucking prick.
“He doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“You sure about that?”
I use my last ounce of rationality and head back to the table. Pissed over having another night interrupted by this fucker.
Taylor is my top priority, though. Getting him out of here and initiating a restraining order against Patrick are the first two items on my list.
As soon as I reach the table, I rip my jacket off the back of the stool and grab Taylor’s hand. With my jacket draped over my arm, my now-free hand guides Livvy by her back, and I usher them both toward the door.
“What’s going on?” Livvy asks.
“No time to explain. Let’s go.”
We push through the doors, but an extra set of footsteps sounding on the gravel behind us tells me that Patrick has followed.
“Taylor, just give me five minutes. Please,” he begs as we weave through rows of cars.
Livvy looks over her shoulder to see her brother’s ex-boyfriend in our wake, and she comes to a screeching halt. “You’ve caused my brother enough pain. Just leave him the fuck alone.”
Patrick’s eyes dart to Livvy.
“I’m not talking to you,” he practically snarls at her.
“And I don’t have anything to say to you,” Taylor says. His broken voice has me this close to knocking Patrick’s veneers out right here in this fucking parking lot.
“But that doesn’t mean I don’t have something to say to you,” Patrick argues back to Taylor.
“He said no,” I grit out, stopping and turning to face Patrick. I’ll happily be a wall if it allows Taylor to put more distance between himself and his ex.
Patrick’s eyes snap to mine. There are wrinkles in the corners, not unlike my own. His hair is mostly gray, whereas I only have a few. The months without Taylor don’t seem to have done his physique any favors, but he mostly still has his shit together.
He eyes me with contempt.
“I know he looks young, but please remember that Taylor is an adult,” Patrick says loud enough for Taylor to hear. I recognize the attempt at getting on Tay’s good side for what it is.
“Oh, that’s really fucking rich coming from you!” Taylor yells, moving to stand beside me. No, no, no! You’re supposed to be tucking yourself away in my truck!
Patrick flinches at Taylor’s harsh tone.
“Can we please just have a conversation?” Patrick begs, eyes flicking to me and then back to Taylor. “Somewhere private?”
I feel Taylor weakening beside me, and my chest cracks open a little.
Just like I deserved closure with Karen, Taylor deserves to have closure with this dickwad, so I stay silent, allowing him to choose.
When Taylor’s eyes find mine, I see his need for this conversation in them.
My nostrils flare as I rein in my emotions, nodding once. Maybe if they talk their shit out, Taylor can finally move on for good, and Patrick will take a hint and leave us the fuck alone.
“One conversation,” Taylor agrees.
I try like hell not to let him see the piece of my heart that just broke off as I stand stoically by his side.
Patrick’s facial features relax, and he takes my tolerance a step too far.
“If you’ve got time, maybe we could grab a bite to eat? I assume you’re not flying early tomorrow since you’re here tonight.”
It’s such a passive-aggressive statement. Patrick wants me to know that he knows Taylor and his schedule.
“I don’t—” Taylor starts, but I talk over him.
“Absolutely not. You talk here, or it doesn’t happen.” I step closer to Patrick, who is only an inch or so shorter than me, but I’ve got way more bulk. “I don’t care if you do it in there,” I nod toward the bar, “or out here, but what you’re not going to do is take my boyfriend off the premises.”
“Actually, I—” Taylor starts again, but it’s Patrick who cuts him off this time.
“Need I remind you, I’ve known Taylor his entire life. Whatever you two have found in the last ten months will never make up for the lifetime of moments I’ve had with him.”
“I don’t even want—” Taylor starts, getting cut off once again. All my focus is on Patrick, so Tay’s attempts to enter this argument aren’t really registering anymore.
“Maybe not, but it’s not your name he cries when he comes so hard he damn near blacks out.
” It’s an immature thing to say, and I hate that I’m letting Patrick pick at my insecurities, but all I feel is victory when he winces in pain at my words, and I keep going.
“It’s not you he comes home to after a flight.
It’s not you he calls from the hotel. And it’s not you he’s going home with tonight. ”
“That’s not for you to decide,” Patrick grits out angrily.
“Does anyone want to hear—” Taylor starts again, but again, I cut him off. I know he should have a chance to address this, but this argument, while about him, doesn’t need to involve him. This is personal, and is between me, as his current boyfriend, and Patrick, as his ex.
“Listen very carefully, Patrick. Taylor. Is. Mine. You’ve lost, and you have no one to blame except yourself.”
“I haven’t lost until he says I have.” His eyes flit to Taylor before finding mine again. “Yes, I made a mistake. But seeing him again reminded me of everything we had, and now that some time has passed, I think we can figure out how to make it work. I’ve always been what’s best for him.”
“You’re not even what’s best for a dog!” I yell, right before I punch Patrick square in the jaw.
Suddenly, Taylor’s angry voice cracks through the air behind me.
“Fuck you both. Maybe you two should date each other.”
I step away from Patrick and refocus on Taylor.
“God, I’ve missed that sass,” Patrick says with a breathy sigh, despite his bloody lip.
“Don’t,” I snarl with a finger in his face, gearing up to go again.
“Well, as much fun as this pissing match isn’t, I’m going home with Livvy.
Knox, I’ll call you later.” Call me? No, he’s supposed to go home with me.
I don’t know when it happened, but it’s no longer home if he isn’t there.
In fact, whether it’s his apartment or my house, my home is wherever Taylor is.
“Patrick,” Taylor continues, now looking at his ex, “since my last forty-five texts went undelivered, I assume you blocked me. I returned the favor when Knox and I began dating. You had your chance to make it right, and you didn’t, but this was really helpful in helping me move on, so…
thanks for that. Now, if you’ll excuse me. ”
I can’t let him leave like this. The slight tremor in his voice tells me he’s far more upset than he’s letting on, and Patrick was wrong. Taylor does fly out in the morning, so if we don’t figure this out tonight, it’ll be three days before we see each other face-to-face again.
I can’t live like that.
“Taylor, wait,” I call, jogging to catch up to him. My stomach lurches when he jerks his arm away from me.
“I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk.”
“I know you’re upset, but please don’t leave like this, baby.”
“I AM A FUCKING ADULT!” he shouts, getting more pissed off.
If he gets in that car, his thoughts will send him places full of lies, and while I’m learning to trust Livvy, she isn’t me. And despite Taylor being an adult, he needs me.
Unhelpfully, my brain adds, or you need him to need you because you’re still just as fragile as he is.
“Tay, don’t leave me. Not like this.” I’m embarrassingly close to tears as I choke the words out, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and torso to halt his progress right as Livvy yells, “Knox, DON’T!”
Taylor reacts so quickly, I don’t stand a chance.
He clutches his own wrist, bends his elbows, trapping my arms against his chest, and widens his stance before stepping to the outside of my left hip. Simultaneously, he leans forward, knocking me off balance, and then throws his hip into me as he jerks upright.
Despite our massive size difference, I get thrown behind him and land on the pavement with a thud, the wind completely knocked out of me.
Before I can even register what the fuck just happened, his knee lands on my chest, and I don’t recognize the emotion in his eyes as he says, “You wouldn’t let me talk, so now you’ll get my silence,” before he stands up and walks toward Livvy’s car, taking my bleeding heart with him.
I can’t even watch them drive away because my body hurts so fucking badly. Patrick moves closer and extends a hand, but I bat it away from me. I will crawl out of this parking lot before I accept his help.
“Don’t ever cage him in. His black belt isn’t just for show,” Patrick says, clearly gloating with his knowledge of Taylor. I didn’t even know Taylor had a black belt, and that hurts worse than the beating my body just took.
I’m slow in getting to my feet. Pain lances my chest, ribs, hips, and heart.
And all I can think is, he’s leaving me.
Taylor doesn’t call or text, and by eleven the next morning, I know he’s airborne. My texts to him have gone unanswered, as have my calls, and I’m back in my own personal hell.
In an attempt to prevent total self-destruction, I cave and text Phoenix, which does little to help.
Knox
Taylor left.
No goodbye. No conversation.
Just one terrible interaction that I never got the chance to apologize for, and then silence.
Phoenix
Fuck, Knox. I’m so sorry.
In a rare display of maturity, Phoenix’s next message is disturbingly level-headed.
Phoenix
I’m sure he’ll come back.
But if he doesn’t, you’ve learned a lot about yourself. Maybe that was the whole point?
Now your proverbial sea is twice as big, and your proverbial fish population has doubled in size.
Knox
I’m not interested.
The only analogy about the sea I can currently relate to is wanting to drown in it.
Phoenix
I’m on my way over.
There won’t be any more fish. I’m done. I’ll figure out how to be content alone or die trying.