Chapter 9 Jesse
Jesse
It’s been a long few fucking weeks. But I’m still here.
A spiteful sort of defiance seems to be what’s mostly keeping me on the straight and narrow. That and a pitiful need to make Rico proud of me, but I’d rather not examine that too closely. It’ll just make me sad.
But every day I wake up is a victory against all those people who gave up on me, cheated me, and told me I was nothing. Every night I go to bed sober is a tired and quiet ‘screw you’ to the gremlins who have spent so long trying to ruin my life.
And now I’m finally here, standing under the tallest trees I’ve ever seen in my life, waiting to get married.
To Rico Flores.
I’m trying hard not to overthink that detail.
This is simply what I have to do to get the help I need.
The fact that he looks like a god damned movie star in his cream linin suit over a crisp white shirt with the top couple of buttons opened up so I can see his slutty, lick-able throat is neither here nor there.
Okay…so maybe I’ve swapped my substance addiction for an obsession with my knight in a firefighter’s helmet.
My guardian angel. But who could really blame me?
The guy’s a real-life hero, and he’s chosen to use his superpowers to save me of all people.
Even if I hadn’t had a crush on him back in the day, I think anyone would be forgiven for fawning over him under these circumstances.
It was his idea for us to wear white today.
Said it was a symbol of new beginnings. I’m pretty sure brides traditionally wear white to represent purity, which is a ridiculous concept to apply to me.
Something dirty from the gutter would be more appropriate, but he didn’t laugh when I suggested that.
Oy vey, he took my hands in his and told me I was worth all this fucking debacle.
I’ve tried to wriggle my way out of it so many times since I told him I was in, and he hasn’t let me.
Because he knows I’m just scared of ruining his life, and he doesn’t seem to think that’s enough of a reason to back down.
When he looks at me, it’s like I matter.
The way he took care of all the details for today made me feel so cared for, even though we both know this isn’t real and neither of us wanted particularly religious elements involved.
Still, booking this space and finding an officiant didn’t happen by magic, and the fact he was concerned with organizing a ceremony that we’d both enjoy at short notice was touching even if it’s ultimately all for show.
He didn’t have to order a Ketubah for us to sign, but as the marriage contract also specifically outlines what will happen in the (for us) inevitable event of our divorce, it seemed like a sensible idea.
That way, we’re covered by civil and state law.
His argument was that if anyone were to ever go sniffing around challenging the legitimacy of our marriage, it would look from the outside like we’d done everything a genuine couple in love might do.
I kept telling myself that during this whole process, Rico’s simply been doing his duty for his best friend’s messed up little brother.
But that didn’t stop my stupid heart from stuttering when I put my own linin suit on or when we decided on the vows that we’re going to be saying within the next hour.
“Are you okay?” he murmurs into my ear, making me jump.
We’re sitting in the forest this town is named after.
Apparently, these aren’t even proper Redwoods, and they can grow much bigger and taller than this in their more native environment upstate.
I still think they’re pretty awesome, especially as this area has a canopy of fairy lights for us to stand under to have the ceremony.
It feels like something out of a Shakespeare play, and the otherworldly setting helps me forget that we’re about to technically commit a crime.
“Uh, yeah,” I say through dry lips with a nod. “Of course I’m fine. What could go wrong?”
He smiles indulgently, and my insides flip at how gorgeous he is. I hope whoever he ends up marrying for real someday appreciates the shit out of this kind, handsome man. God knows I don’t deserve him.
The sound of feet crunching on the forest floor causes us both to turn and look at who’s approaching.
The man in the black suit has to be Captain Valentine, who I know Rico has been leaning on throughout this whole ordeal.
I’m glad he’s had a father figure of sorts, even though this guy can only be in his late forties at most. But…
woof. Rico didn’t mention how ridiculously gorgeous he is.
As our gazes meet, his face splits into a dazzling smile, and I wonder if all first responders at the One-Thirteen are required to be so damned beautiful.
On his arm is an older white lady dressed in a lace lilac dress with a flowy chiffon jacket in the same color.
I don’t understand how she can be walking on the soft ground with heels that high and pointy, but she appears to be managing it just fine.
In the hand not clutching Valentine’s elbow is a leash attached to a cloud trotting beside her feet.
The cloud has a sparkly lilac bow above two onyx stones that I realize must be eyes.
Either that’s a dog or some kind of sentient floor mop. I’m honestly not sure.
“Mr. Flores,” the woman cries warmly as the two of them reach us. “Aren’t you a sneaky one, keeping this from us all?”
Rico smiles and leans in to kiss both her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Bloom. Thank you for being here today, though.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, my dear. Now, I’m assuming this must be your young man.” She looks me up and down with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Oh, he’s a cutie. And you both look so handsome.”
“You do clean up well, Rico,” Valentine says, clapping him on the back before extending his hand my way. “You must be Jesse Silverman. I’m Julian Valentine and this is Mrs. Silvya Bloom and Miss Margot Fontayn.”
I would have probably been able to guess he meant the dog through context, but on cue, the cloud raises up one of her front paws to me.
My eyebrows climb my forehead, and I let out a nervous laugh. “Oh, um, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Fontayn.” I bend down and give her foot a gentle shake.
“It’s rare to see good looks and good manners, Mr. Silverman,” Mrs. Bloom says approvingly as I stand back up. “I can see why Mr. Flores has snapped you up.”
I blush, furiously, completely at a loss for what to say. If only she knew the truth. That I’m a filthy junkie who Rico is only pretending to marry in a last-ditch effort to keep my ass out of jail or worse. “Um, thank you,” I manage to mumble. “He’s the real catch, though.”
She hums and looks between us, and for a second I worry that she can see right through me and is going to tell Rico how I’ve actually had a massive crush on him since forever.
But instead, she slips her arm from Valentine’s and takes mine.
“I think I need to sit, dear. We’re not starting just yet, are we? ”
“No, Mrs. Bloom,” Rico assures her. “We’re waiting on Captain Padilla.
” She’s the cop who’s going to be the one to officially marry us.
Apparently, this won’t be her first One-Thirteen wedding, and again, that makes me nervous.
Surely she’s going to take one look at me and Rico, compare us to that other couple, then point and yell about how we’re total frauds.
Before I can spiral into a world of doubt, I realize Mrs. Bloom is actually the one steering me.
We’re going to the few chairs set up in front of the wooden platform with the fairy lights overhead where Rico and I are going to be saying our vows.
There are a few members of staff around as well from the company who operates and maintains the forest, but they’re keeping mostly out of sight.
I wonder if they’re puzzled by the lack of guests.
We wanted to keep the circle small of those who are aware of what we’re doing.
It’s bad enough lying to the three people who’ll be present and wondering how much of our rouse they’ve guessed anyway.
More folks than that, I think I’d have some kind of breakdown.
I’m not convinced I’m not already in the middle of one regardless.
“Relax, dear,” Mrs. Bloom says, patting my hand as we lower ourselves into the seats. “There’s nothing to worry about. You just say a few words, then sign some papers. Easy-peasy.”
“Easy-peasy,” I repeat, letting out a breath. “Have you done this before, then?”
She shrugs as Miss Margot Fontayn settles at her feet. “Once or twice, yes. Once or twice.”
I feel like there’s a story there, but I’m too preoccupied to ask anything further and I’m not sure I’m supposed to pry anyway.
So I concentrate on my breathing. If only it wasn’t for the fact that we’re committing fraud and that I’m secretly in love with this guy I’d probably be fine getting through the ceremony.
I don’t realize we’ve lapsed into silence until Mrs. Bloom leans over and whispers in my ear. “Why don’t you think you’re good enough for him?” she asks.
I blink in surprise and snap my head to look at her. I don’t know what I’m expecting to see. Maybe smug triumph that she’s worked out this is all fake. But I’m met with a curious sort of patience. Like she’s genuinely confused by my jitters.
“I don’t…” I try and start to defend myself, but the words die in my throat. “I mean…why would you…how…?”
She pats my hand that’s resting on my knee. “You get to my age and you pick up a thing or two, sweetheart. You look at him like you’re terrified he’s going to come to his senses and bolt any second now. Which is funny, because he looks at you like you hung the moon.”
I stare at her for a second. “No. T-that’s not…” I stammer before scowling at her. “You got here about three minutes ago,” I hiss. “How could you possibly…?”