Chapter 9 Jesse #2
She tilts her chin up and there’s the smug look I was expecting before. “Like I said. At my age, you see things, dear.”
I open my mouth to tell her she’s full of shit or maybe just laugh. But instead, I simply continue to stare incredulously. That can’t be true. What she said, I mean. About Rico looking at me…like that.
Can it?
“Sorry, sorry!” a firm voice rings out, capturing everyone’s attention.
A tall, slim woman in a gray pantsuit is striding down the aisle, her brown ponytail swinging behind her.
“I apologize profusely for being late. There was a thing with frogs. So…so many frogs.” A shudder runs through her entire body as she comes to a halt in between me and Rico, and she extends her whole tongue out while gagging.
“Anyway—hi! I heard someone’s getting married today.
” She turns and fixes Mrs. Bloom with an arched eyebrow and a smirk.
“It’s you, isn’t it, ma’am? I can see it in your eyes. ”
“I can see that you still fancy yourself a comedian, Ms. Padilla,” Mrs. Bloom replies with a challenge in her voice.
Padilla snorts then presses her fingers against her eyes, inhaling deeply for several seconds.
“No more frogs, Padilla. Only love and devotion and an actual real legal ceremony that you need to concentrate on,” she mutters to herself.
She drops her hands and blinks several times before beaming at me.
“You look like a groom! Hi, there.” She thrusts a palm toward me. “Lucy Padilla.”
“Jesse Silverman,” I reply automatically, shaking her slightly trembling hand. “Are you okay?”
Her laugh is shrill but then she clears her throat and nods. “Yeah, man. It’s just small towns, you know? Sometimes they’re crazier than big cities.”
My admiration for her suddenly increases a whole bunch.
“Right?” I agree in relief. The trouble with hiding myself away and concentrating on my sobriety is that I feel like I haven’t connected with another human being in weeks.
I squeeze her hand firmer and grin lopsidedly. “It’s really nice to meet you.”
“And you, kiddo,” she tells me with a wink.
Then she turns to Rico and slaps his arm.
“Congratulations, Lieutenant. I thought the rest of the rabble would be here, though? From what I’ve seen this year, I assumed there would be at minimum two of your guys up in the trees by the time I arrived, someone would be passing around a bottle of Fireball, and there would be at least five dogs, a cat and an iguana underfoot. ”
She almost sounds disappointed, and I flinch, again worrying that I’m taking something special away from Rico today with this sham. But he simply shrugs and grins at the police captain.
“A fire broke out at the clown car factory,” he tells her.
“Now that, I do believe,” she replies. “Right, then. Does someone have the rings?”
“Actually, we’re going to do a hand tying ceremony,” Rico says.
“Oh, yes,” Padilla groans, slapping her forehead. “You did tell me. I’ve got everything written out on my phone.” She pulls it from her pocket and concentrates on finding the necessary information.
If anyone asks, we’re going to say we chose hand tying as a good inter-faith option.
Plus, it seems appropriate for a mythical setting like this.
But the real reason is we didn’t want rings because we don’t want anyone asking about our business.
The less people who know we’ve done this, the better.
No point in wearing a sign on our hands literally advertising the fact.
Of course, no one asks. But it’s good to be prepared.
“Ah! There we go,” Padilla cries at her phone before turning to the other captain present. “Okay. Shall we get this show on the road?” she asks Valentine.
“Sounds good to me,” he agrees, beaming at both me and Rico. “Are you two ready?”
My gaze meets Rico’s and nerves flutter through me. He raises his eyebrows, giving me one last chance to back out. He’d honor that if I did, I know. Even though he’s convinced me that this is the best course of action, it’s so typical of him to allow me one final opportunity to change my mind.
It’s in that moment of silent kindness it hits me like a train. I don’t just have a childish crush on him. I’m not just indebted to him for saving my life several times over. It’s not just that I admire his bravery as a first responder.
I love him.
I love Rico Flores.
I love everything about him, even when he’s being a bossy dick to me.
I love living with him and seeing him every day.
I love the sound of his voice and his laugh…
even the way he sneezes is kind of cute.
I love his patience and his thoughtfulness and the way he’s been the only person in the last several years to truly see me.
My heart aches and my eyes sting and for a second, I actually do consider backing out. Can I really do this to him? Will I survive hitching my wagon to his? If I make it through rehab, I’m going to be dedicated to resisting drugs and alcohol. Is it unreasonable to think I can resist him too?
Then he reaches out and slips his hand against mine, squeezing my fingers as he nods subtly and gives me a lopsided, adorable smile.
He wants to help me, and I want to do whatever will make him happy.
I know he’ll be strong for the both of us and if there’s one thing I’ll fight to resist, it’ll be betraying his trust and confidence in me.
Rico Flores sees the best possible version there could be of Jesse Silverman, and that’s the man I intend on becoming.
If not for me, for him.
“Ready,” I announce to the group, but I’m really just talking to him.
It’s okay that he’ll never love me back.
He’ll only ever see me as his best friend’s little brother, but maybe…
maybe we can be friends. It’s hard to go through an extreme situation like this and not get to know someone pretty well.
If he still likes me when I’m on the other side of whatever mountain I’m about to climb, that will be enough for me.
I don’t deserve a man like Rico, yet he’s marrying me anyway.
After the shitshow I’ve made of my life so far, I’m going to take that as a win and enjoy his company for as long as I can get it.
Wishing for anything else would be not only ridiculous but also selfish, and I’m really trying hard not to live like that any longer.
This is the next chapter of my life, however it plays out.
And I’m so ready for it.