Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Jax
Lauren
I managed to order my food without dying of embarrassment
Me
Look at you go!
Remind me why this is good for me?
1) It teaches you that you can do things on your own
2) You’ll see that people won’t look at you with pity. They’ll be proud of you
I’m in the middle of typing out the third reason when another text from Lauren comes through.
Lauren
Mayday! Mayday! MAYDAY!
Me
What’s wrong?
Austin is here.
With Shelby Miller. You remember her? She was the most beautiful girl in high school
I start to type out “No, she wasn’t,” but I stop myself.
Me
Stay calm
Lauren
How can I stay calm?! I’m eating alone and my ex is here on a date with another woman!
You don’t know it’s a date
I can tell. I just watched him pull his first move on her
I don’t think they’ve seen me yet. Maybe they won’t
Jk he saw me
He must be doing this to get back at me for last night
Oh no. They’re walking this way
HELP!!!!
I get up from my seat, grabbing my keys off the hook by the door on my way out. It’s only a five-minute drive to the Pork Screw, and as I pull into the parking lot, I realize I have no plan. I’m just on autopilot, ready to do whatever is necessary so that Lauren feels safe again.
I step out of my truck and through the windows of the barbecue joint, I can see Austin and Shelby hovering over Lauren’s table. Lauren’s face is ghost-white. She’s got a smile plastered on when I walk into the restaurant, but I can tell even from here that it’s designed to hide her sheer panic.
I’m about to shove past Austin with some sort of lame excuse about Lauren meeting the rest of our friends at the wrong restaurant when she glances over Austin’s shoulder and says, “Oh no. Someone’s truck is getting towed in the parking lot.
” Turning back to Austin with a look of concern, she adds, “Did you drive your Ridgeline here?”
Austin swivels toward the front door in disbelief. “They’re towing my truck? What the hell?” He barges out of the restaurant, and Shelby follows, looking concerned.
Lauren pulls money from her purse and grabs my hand. “We have about two seconds before he realizes they’re not towing his truck.”
I follow her from the table. Lauren hands the money to the waitress, breathlessly rushing out an excuse, and we slip out the side entrance.
Once we know the coast is clear, I lead her to my truck and drive us half a mile down the road before pulling up to Sweet Mae’s.
It’s only when I park in the diner’s lot that we both release a breath and burst into laughter.
“Did you see the look on his face? That was priceless!” Lauren beams. “I kind of wish his truck actually was being towed.”
“Me too. That was brilliant.”
“I don’t know what made me think of it. I just couldn’t stand sitting there with the two of them looking down on me anymore.”
“Well, it worked like a charm.” Meeting her gaze, I tell her, “I’m proud of you.”
Her brows pull together. “Why?”
“You could’ve sat there and taken his shit, but instead, you came up with a way out.”
“I think you’re forgetting I ran away from him.”
“But I’ve seen you cower and freeze in front of him before, and you didn’t do that.”
“Well, thank you.” She glances out her window as the smile on her face slowly fades. “Hey, Jax?”
“Yeah?”
She turns back to me. “I’m still really hungry.”
I chuckle. “I knew you would be. How about we grab some dinner? It’ll be my treat. I know it’s not the barbecue you picked for the evening, but I’ll buy you a sundae to make up for it.”
“No, not the diner! I hate the diner.” She tries to fight the smile that’s growing on her face. “You owe me two sundaes now.”
“You’re such a liar. I know you love Sweet Mae’s burgers and fries.”
She nods and we head inside, where my palm gravitates to her lower back. A couple of prying eyes laser in on us as we walk past a row of tables, but I don’t let it bother me because being this way with Lauren feels so natural.
When the waitress comes to greet us at our corner booth, Lauren looks ravenous, so I let her order and tell the waitress I’ll take the same.
“Thank you,” Lauren says. “If this food doesn’t come soon, I’m liable to eat you.”
“I better tell the waitress to speed that order up then.” I pretend to get up from the booth, and she quickly grabs my arm, her eyes going round as she laughs in surprise.
Thankfully the diner is dead, so our food comes quickly. A natural silence falls over us while Lauren puts all her attention on the big burger in front of her, and I try to keep from putting all my attention on Lauren.
When she finishes her food, I figure it’s okay to speak again. Swiping a french fry through a puddle of ketchup, I ask, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” She plucks a fry from my plate. Hers are already gone. “It’s kind of weird. I should maybe be bothered by all of this, but seeing him with another woman didn’t even hurt. If anything, I felt bad for Shelby.”
“What changed?”
“I guess I’ve started to reckon with all the pain he put me through before we even broke up, and all the ways he didn’t treat me right.
I used to think maybe our relationship going down in flames like that was because of something I did wrong, but last night helped me see that wasn’t the case.
The realization gave me a lot of peace.”
I lower my burger, narrowing my eyes. “Why would you blame yourself when he cheated on you?”
“I don’t know. That’s where my mind always goes when something is wrong.”
“It shouldn’t. Austin is just an asshole. You deserve better.” I take a sip of water.
Her cheeks flush. Turning her gaze down to her empty plate, she says, “Enough talking about me and my problems. Tell me something about you.”
I lean back. When I first moved here, there was an instant connection between Lauren and me.
I felt like I could tell her anything, and she wouldn’t judge me.
But it’s been over nine years since I came to town.
We haven’t had a conversation without both of our walls being up in a long time.
We haven’t taken the time to ask each other how we are or what’s going on in each other’s lives, which was necessary because I had to protect my heart.
I’d fallen for a woman who wasn’t available.
But since I wasn’t having these conversations with Lauren, I wasn’t having them with anyone.
I don’t know how to do this, especially after intentionally sticking to the type of relationships that never involve connecting on more than a physical level.
It feels like talking to her would be going against everything I’ve built, but then again, Lauren feels so safe.
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything. I’ve known you for so long, but I don’t know you.”
“I think you know me better than you think. I know you pretty well.”
She arches an eyebrow, leaning back in her seat. “Oh, do you?”
“Yeah, your favorite movie is The Proposal. Your favorite color is yellow because of the sunflowers you and your mom grow in the little garden behind the big house every year. You’re always cold, but—and you’ll deny this—your favorite food in the world is ice cream.
” She bites her lip to stifle her smile, and it stirs up something in my chest. “You constantly put pressure on yourself to be the perfect daughter, the perfect rancher, the perfect everything to everyone, but you’re tired.
And while you do a great job of hiding it, I still see it. ”
The smile she was hiding no longer needs to be hidden because it’s long gone. She picks at her crumpled napkin on the table, and silence falls over us. Crap. I definitely crossed a line.
Setting her napkin down, she leans toward me.
“Your favorite color is green, and your favorite movie is the original Top Gun. You’re obsessed with any song by John Michael Montgomery.
You have a scar from when you and Charlie built a rope swing along the creek, right here—” She reaches out, setting my body on fire when she traces a finger along my collarbone.
“You’d never admit it, but you have a deadly fear of snakes.
You’ve always stayed away from committed relationships, which I think stems from some sort of messed-up fear that you’re not good enough to commit, but I see you, and I can tell you you’re wrong. ”
Whoa, she might know me better than I know myself.
I lean back against the booth, crossing my arms. “I’m not afraid of snakes.”
“You totally are! I’ve seen you scream and run like a little girl.”
“Yeah, probably when I was ten.”
“Jax, I didn’t meet you until you were a sophomore in high school.” She giggles.
“You’re a liar.”
“I never lie.”
The waitress brings us the two sundaes we ordered, and Lauren gleefully digs in. I can’t resist sneaking glances at her as she daintily spoons her fudgy chocolate ice cream, closing her eyes as she savors it and lets it melt in her mouth.
Between bites, she says, “You never answered me. Tell me something I don’t know about you.”
My instinct is to deflect. Any time a woman tried to get too personal, that’s what I would do.
I’ve never wanted to be close with someone, but this is Lauren.
She’s felt familiar since the day I met her, so I do something I’ve never done before.
I break the one rule I’ve always had. Only, it doesn’t feel like breaking the rules with Lauren.
It feels like I’m finally finding my way.