18. Ivy
18
IVY
" Y es, and take the stuffing out too." I kept getting asked questions, and as fast as they came at me, I offered answers. I hired a catering staff of twenty. James's "intimate gathering" was nearly forty people. The string quartet was on their ten-minute break while people continued to eat, so I had Christmas music humming softly through a speaker I'd set up.
James sat at the head of the table smiling and sipping his wine while dinner was being served, but my plate of food sat on the counter in the kitchen waiting for me. I purposefully hadn't given myself a seat at the table because I wasn't officially one of James's friends or family. Recently, we'd been so busy, I didn't even know what we were.
When he asked me what was going on between us, my only response was to ask him if it mattered. I had no clue what to tell him. I was falling for him so hard, but I couldn't decipher whether it was actual real emotion or if it was my being on the rebound. Add to that the fact that he was a gazillionaire and super hot, and it was a tangled mess to try to sort out. I sort of wished I'd listened to Kevin when he told me staying here was a bad idea.
"Ms. Hart, the quartet is preparing for their next set. You should go eat." Marna smiled at me softly as she touched my hand. She was used to serving James and his guests, and to her this event was more relaxing than normal. I'd done all the heavy lifting for everyone, and more than one of James's household staff members told me how grateful they were that I stepped in to arrange things.
It made me feel like Barbra probably didn't treat them very well, and I was glad to have been here to help their holidays go a bit more smoothly, if nothing else. They were great people, and even though James probably paid them better than I ever got paid, they were normal folks like me who just made a great living serving others.
"Thanks, Marna…" I slipped out through the back door and stood on the veranda. I felt sad that I wasn’t home with my family. They only lived on the other side of Green Bay, but James's party was demanding. I refused to let anyone else take this load on when he had paid me to do it, even when he offered to let me go. I could visit with Mom and Mimi tomorrow. Tonight was about him.
But I missed them, and I knew they were probably seated around the kitchen table doing a puzzle and watching a cheesy Christmas movie. So I pulled out my phone and called home just to hear Mom's voice.
"Ivy Sue!" Mom said with so much joy in her voice, it made me smile and made tears come to my eyes at the same time.
"Hey, Mom, how's everyone doing?" I pictured her sisters there too, probably smoking their cigarettes and filling the house with the stench, but Mom was too kind to ever send them away.
"Oh, you know… We're missing you. Did you get the packages we sent? Seems kind of fancy to be at an estate." She was silent for a moment, then I heard her shout, "Mimi, it's Ivy!"
"Hey, Ivy!" I heard my sister shout, and I chuckled and smiled. I missed her so much.
"I got them… Yeah, I'm only staying here while I coordinate the events. I'm looking for a place to rent when this is all done." Sadness washed over me again at the thought of living alone. I had never lived alone unless you considered living in a hotel for a few months "living alone". I moved in with Mike straight out of my parents' house and then in with James after the hotel.
Having a big, empty apartment to myself just didn't sound fun at all. I craved people around me, which was probably why I became an event planner to begin with.
"What's wrong, baby? You sound sad…" Mom sounded compassionate, but I wasn't about to tell her everything. She knew I broke up with Mike, though, so I leaned into that.
"Oh, you know… It's hard having a breakup during the holidays. That's all. And rebranding to an events planner and not just weddings is stressful. It's good, though. I know I can do it." My lips were sealed about the millions James gave me. If she knew that, she'd only think he was using his age, power, and money to manipulate me. And God forbid I tell her about the sex. I'd never hear the end of it then.
"Well, you just take one day at a time. And you can come home. You don't have to get your own place." Her offer was sweet but not going to happen. I wasn't going to live on the far western side of such a massive city and commute for more than an hour every day for work. Lover's Bay was much more likely to be the place I landed when all of this was said and done.
"Ms. Hart?" I heard, and I turned to see James standing in the doorway.
"Mom, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow." I felt sad letting her go, but duty called.
"Tomorrow, then. Love you," Mom said, and then she hung up, and I sucked in a breath and plastered a fake smile on my face.
"Let's go," I said, not sure why he'd come after me. "Is something wrong?" I followed James back into the kitchen. He shut the door behind me and offered me his elbow.
"Time to dance," he said, and I remembered the way he twirled me around that ballroom and our short but sweet dance on Thanksgiving. Thankfully, I hadn't had to do much more than that, but tonight, I wasn't feeling it. It really was weighing me down, not having someone to share the holidays with and having this massive growing ball of affection for someone who was so far out of my league it was comical.
I wanted to resist and tell him no, but I'd given him my word. He needed someone to dance with and he had already explained to his family, friends, and colleagues that it was customary for the host to offer a dance to any woman who was unattended. I just happened to be the only one unattended, and Barbra was nowhere in sight. I'd heard mumbling about that too, but no one was bold enough to come right out and ask.
So I let James sweep me back into his great room where the quartet played a soft stringed melody. He held me against his body as we swayed in time to the music. Everyone was dancing, not just us, and I felt a little at ease knowing no one was staring, but the ball of emotion, coupled with the growing, lingering nausea I felt, just never left.
I was exhausted and stressed out. I hadn't slept well in days. I'd been so hungry at times and at other times, I had no appetite at all, and the strangest thing happened when I smelled any fake scents—I got so sick to my stomach. A few times at night, I thought about that night in James's limo, but I'd done tests and they came back negative. I wasn’t sure what to think.
"Ms. Hart, you seem down." James's soft whisper in my ear made goosebumps rise on my arm. I wanted to lean into his chest for comfort. My emotions were all over the place lately, and I didn't know why.
"I'm alright. I just miss my family." I forced a smile, and he reached into his pocket with one hand while he kept the other snugly in my back.
"I got you this," he said, and I looked down at the delicate snowflakes decorating the light blue wrapping paper. A silver ribbon had been tied around it, and the card was in the shape of a very sophisticated but animated reindeer. It brought tears to my eyes instantly.
"Oh, Mr. Carver. I didn't get you anything." I felt the warmth on my cheeks when I blinked out the tears, and he wiped them away with a thumb.
"I think you forgot. I asked you to call me James." His hand moved away from my face, and I flushed with embarrassment.
I wasn't like these people. Every single one of them wore jewelry that cost more than my parents' home. I had no education, no money. I had no car or even a home, and I suddenly felt very out of place, not just because he'd gotten me a gift and I couldn’t return that sentiment. Hot tears burned my cheeks, and I walked away.
James followed me as I ducked into a hallway and sniffled, and he stood a few feet away as I stared down at the pretty paper and silver ribbon. "Why did you do this?" I asked, knowing he had spent a lot of time thinking about this. Even the paper and card were enough to make me swoon. He'd been studying my taste and hit the bullseye.
"I wanted to show you I'm grateful for your help and work for me." His eyes scanned my face thoughtfully, but that wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear from him.
"Thank you," I said softly, and I wiped the tears from my eyes. "You'll have to excuse me now. I need to eat my dinner." I nodded at him and smiled. I didn't even know what was in this box, but I had a feeling I was going to bawl when I opened it.
"Yes, okay," he said, sounding a bit hurt, but he didn't stand in my way when I walked into the kitchen to get my plate of now-cold food. I took it to my room and locked the door. I had no other duties this evening, and I just wanted to be alone. More and more, I was beginning to believe I was going crazy. I hadn't felt like myself in days, and it scared me a little.
Maybe those tests were wrong and I really was pregnant. If that was the case, it would explain everything. I just didn't know how to feel if it was true. James Carver's baby? Inside me? How would I explain that without sounding like a gold digger?