Chapter 36
There’s a beat of silence, then Ludo’s voice fills my head.
—The fake professor is opening and closing his mouth like a carp from the ornamental lake—
I flick Ludo on the arm. “Be nice. I’ve just dropped a bombshell on him.”
Alexis blinks several times, then clears his throat. “That’s quite…something,” he replies, tilting his head from one side to the other, releasing some tense cracks.
“Don’t you believe me?” I ask. I guess I can understand his doubt, but when I see the way he’s watching me—almost as though I’m something wonderful—I know he doesn’t doubt my word.
“Of course I believe you,” Alexis confirms, “it’s just—fuck—incredible. Can I ask, how long have you—er, had this ability?”
My professor looks calm, considering my revelation.
I shrug. “I’ve been telepathic my whole life.
One of my earliest memories is hearing the thoughts of my dad.
He wished I’d go to sleep.” My words catch in my throat.
“I-I was being rocked in his arms, and it was dark and late. I don’t know how old I was, but little.
” The image flashes in my mind: the soft, rhythmic creak of the rocking chair, the warmth of my father’s arms, the low hum of his thoughts, so comforting and familiar to my younger self.
A wave of bittersweet nostalgia washes over me, heavy and sudden. Ludo moves incrementally closer, his presence at my side a silent comfort.
Alexis looks at the janitor, then back to me. “You said you could hear me if I let you, right? But you can hear Ludo’s thoughts all the time?”
“Yes. I’m guessing you must be Elite status, Alexis. I barely ever hear anything from Elite minds. Humans are an open book, and lower-status witches are mostly easy. I’m constantly trying not to hear, though. It gets…”
“Overwhelming, I imagine. Can you try to listen to my thoughts now? Maybe if I’m letting down my subconscious defences, you’ll be able to.”
“Sure. Gods, honestly, it feels so good to be able to talk about this, actually experiment a little.” I look at Alexis, then nod. “Going in now…”
I concentrate as hard as I can, focusing on Alexis’ mind. I can sense a vibration coming from him, muffled and dull. Come on, Theo, I tell myself, you can do this. I strain like a maniac and get a flash of something.
Huh? That makes no sense.
“Were you thinking something about eggs?” I ask him.
“Ha,” Alexis looks delighted. “I was concentrating on Ruisleip?—my favorite snack. Egg-butter on sour rye bread.”
—Egg butter? Sounds unappetizing—
Ludo’s commentary makes me smile.
“You got a vague impression of my thoughts, but nothing exact?” Alexis asks.
I nod.
“Let’s try again,” he demands. “A single attempt is not a tested theory.”
“Aye, aye, professor.” For someone who is not actually a teacher, he sure talks like one sometimes. We work on the telepathy until I’m able to hear Alexis’ thoughts more clearly.
“You realize this is innate magic, Theo. Something that is supposed to no longer exist.” Alexis takes my hand, looking worried. “If the wrong people find out about it…Gods. Does anyone else know?”
“No, just you two. Do you really think it’s innate and not some genetic quirk? A throwback gene or something? That’s what I’ve always told myself.”
Alexis looks doubtful. “A throwback to inherited innate magic, maybe? What do you know about your parents?"
“My parents?” I shrug. “Mum was a low-level Ordinarii; her DNA had a touch of Brownie and mostly Ratatoskr. Dad was fully human.” I reply.
“Oh no,” he cocks his head to one side, giving a small grin. “I meant your birth parents, pulu.”
Something in my brain doesn't just fizzle, it snaps. "What do you mean,” I say slowly, “birth parents?" The words feel foreign on my tongue.
Alexis stops abruptly. His jaw clenches, and he closes his eyes. “Oh, shit, pulu. Shit, shit. I’m so sorry. I thought you knew.” His voice is a low, agonized apology, laced with self-reproach. “It says in your school file that you’re adopted.”
My mind reels, trying to grasp the implications of his words. "It’s a mistake," I whisper, but without much conviction. It’s in the school file, after all. "I’d know…" The thought trails off, doubt creeping further into the edges of my certainty.
Surely, I’d know?
Alexis pulls me to him, and we collapse together onto my bed. He’s running his hand up and down my spine, and I realize I’m crying.
For a few minutes, I give in to sobs. Am I not the biological child of my parents? The warmth of their love had always been absolute, but the possibility of them not being… mine? The idea cuts my heart into tiny pieces.
No! I want to have been formed by their DNA, not some stranger’s.
But.
I hadn’t looked like them—at all. Mum’s plump body and sweet, rosy face covered in freckles was my polar opposite. And she used to call my tall, blonde Dad her Viking warrior. Something that had never even crossed my mind now feels like a probability.
Just like that, I don’t know who I am.
I look down instinctively to check if the earth is crumbling beneath my feet. A wave of nausea washes over me, and the world tilts precariously. Alexis gathers me closer, and Ludo is suddenly handing me both a tissue and a glass of water.
I shiver, probably from the chill of shock, and Ludo pulls a blanket over me as I lie against Alexis’ chest. The two men work in tandem, trying to make me comfortable and safe.
It works—I do feel safe, I feel cared for, and I don’t feel alone. The realization of that feeling breaks me out of my shock. “Sorry,” I whisper, my cheek pressed against his now-soaked tee.
Alexis makes a noise, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “What the fuck have you got to be sorry for, pulu?” He moves my face, looking down at me, completely confused.
“I’m sorry for over-reacting…” I mutter, a sob caught in my throat. “Being hysterical, soaking your shirt, you name it.”
"You’re being ridiculous," Alexis chides softly, his gaze searching mine, gentle and worried. “I’m the one who’s sorry, Theo. I- I presumed…” His voice cracks. “I’m such an ass.”
“It’s OK,” I say, pushing myself to sit upright and take a drink. “I’m over my freak-out. It was just a lot to take in,” I say, blinking away the last of the tears.
“Gods, I’m so sorry,” Alexis repeats. “I’m a fucking idiot.”
—I’ll hurt him up for upsetting you, Nymph.—
“No, Ludo. I don’t want that. I don’t want either of you to be angry, with yourselves or each other, you understand?” I’m amazed I can sound so fierce while trying to pull myself out of an existential crisis.
Alexis exhales a long sigh. “Theo, I’ve just turned your whole life upside down, Gods…” He rakes a hand through his shaggy black hair.
Is my life turned upside down? When I actually consider it, I realize it’s not.
Sure, coming to terms with the fact I’m adopted may take many of Willow’s rum hot chocolates to find real peace, but I’m OK. I just need to file this whole adoption thing away in the back of my brain to be dealt with later.
The twins trump any other crisis going on.
I take a deep breath and then smile. “Everything’s OK. I’ll be OK, but I don’t want to talk more about it right now. Can we get back to where we were?”
My professor’s expression changes. “Right, sorry. Back to business. I’ll play this however you want. I’m all yours to command.”
The words make me squirm a little, and I peel off his lap. “Thanks.” Another big breath. “OK, next ground-breaking piece of news. I need to tell you something I learned from Johnny DeVille’s brain.”
“DeVille, the senior Elite?”
“Yeah. I caught him thinking about Wes and Donovan, and another guy who I’m pretty sure was Maximus.
” A smile creeps onto my face as I remember how the twins looked in my vision.
Happy and excited. Happy and excited because they were on their way to me.
And now I have to drop another bombshell on our already crazy day.
I don’t know why I’m so nervous to tell them this; both Alexis and Ludo were cool about the telepathy. “I, er, saw inside Johnny’s head, like the visuals that were going on in there. I can tell you what they were wearing and everything.”
—Your power is growing— Ludo’s thoughts rumble into my mind.
“Visual Telepathy? Is that cognitive scrying?” Alexis murmurs. I hope he’s not expecting an answer because I’ve no idea what he’s talking about. He switches his gaze to me, sharp and assessing. “So what did you learn from the thoughts of DeVille?” He gives me an encouraging look.
“On the day they all disappeared,” I say, “the twins went to see Johnny, so Donovan could tell him he quit the Fateball team. Maximus was in the room too. After the twins’ announcement, Maximus said, and I’m paraphrasing because I can’t remember exactly, but something like, ‘I’ve something wild to show you before you go’, and then he mentioned ‘under the laundry’. ”
“Theo, that’s amazing. A proper lead. I’ve got blueprints for the school in my office; we can look at those. See what’s in that area.” Alexis goes to stand, but Ludo puts up a hand.
—Tunnels—
I tilt my head to one side. “Tunnels?”
—Beneath the laundromat, a tunnel—
When I’ve repeated this to Alexis, I give Ludo a smile. “Can you show us?”
—Yes—
“Shall we go now?” I ask.
Alexis and Ludo exchange a look. “Why don’t we take a minute?” Alexis says. “It’s been an emotional morning for you. You look wiped, Theo. Have you eaten yet?”
A sneaky tear pushes past my eyelashes and makes its way down my face. Both Ludo and Alexis spot the tear before I can wipe it away.
—Nymph is sad—
“Theo?” Alexis drags his thumb across my cheek, wiping it away.
“I’m OK, it’s just this morning that has been a lot, but I won’t let that stop us now. We’ve got to go see what’s in those tunnels.”
“But first you need to eat something,” Alexis says firmly. “Your pulse is too rapid, and you’re clammy, and your pupils are enlarged. You’re either in shock or having a blood sugar crisis.” He frowns as he studies me.
—Yes, Nymph—Feed then rest—
A ridiculous warmth blooms in my chest. I know I shouldn’t revel in their concern, my heart is already promised to the twins, but Gods, I fucking feeling cared for. Since Mum and Dad, the only time I’ve felt this cossetted was the six magical weeks last year.
“Give me ten minutes to wash my face, then I’ll head to the cafeteria.” My gaze flicks between their two concerned faces. “And you both are welcome to join me, if you need proof of my food intake.”
“I may take you up on that, pulu,” Alexis says, as he and Ludo exit.
—Lock the door behind us—
After doing what Ludo asked, I get to my feet and feel a wave of lightheadedness. Thoughts circle like a whirlpool in my head: Mum and Dad, innate magic, increased power, birth parents, Wes and Donovan. Ludo and Alexis.
Is telepathy from my true family line? I’m coming around to the idea that it’s innate magic, and that’s scary as hell. So I guess I need to learn about my genealogy. How to find out about my origins is another question altogether. Maybe Aunt Nancy knows the whole story?
After I’ve changed my snotty and damp tank top and splashed water over my face, I grab my tablet and type out an email.
Subject: Majorly Important Question
Hi Aunt Nancy,
I hope you're doing well, and wedding plans are coming along smoothly.
I'm writing to you because something really big came up here at VV, and I'm honestly still reeling. My school file says I’m adopted. Did you know this? I’m not mad if you did, I just want to put all the pieces together because my life now feels like a huge mystery.
I’d be so grateful to get any info about my birth parents. Maybe you could look through any old boxes of Mum’s stuff you have and let me know if you find anything that might shed some light?
Thanks so much, I really appreciate it.
Love Theo.
I send it off with a whoosh. Stage one is complete.
Stage two questions are about all the men in my life.
In just a couple of weeks, I’ve begun to fall for both Ludo and Alexis, which was crazy.
I’d arrived at Validus Vale with absolutely no interest in relationships.
I simply wanted to keep my head down and not get hurt again.
But then I found out the twins had disappeared, and my belief in love came flooding back, the icy fortress around my heart instantly melting.
“The problem is,” I tell roly-poly, who is now hanging out by a peeling patch of baseboard.
“I’m greedy. I can’t bring myself to distance myself from Ludo or Alexis, and before you say anything, I know that’s not fair to Wes and Donovan.
” I reach for an elastic and braid my hair.
“What would they think of it all, you ask? That’s the crux of the problem, Roly. I don’t have a clue.”
Our six weeks together had been enough time to fall in love, but not enough to know the ins and outs of each other’s psyches. Gods, everything was happening so fast.
Where are you, guys? I NEED you.
Huh. Maybe if I concentrate really hard, I could send my own thoughts out into the ether. Maybe, just maybe, a stray strand of my mind could brush up against theirs, and it would help us all find each other.
Slowly braiding my hair, I begin a mantra over and over in my head.
—Where are you?/please hear me/I love you—
I sense nothing.
But that doesn’t mean I give up. Maybe Alexis will know a way I could enhance my mental abilities? There must be something, a hideous potion? I’ll drink it. A crystal implanted in my brain? I’ll do it.
There really aren't any lengths I won’t go to.
I lace up my high tops and then run up the stairs. First breakfast and then I’ll see about that crystal implant, or whatever.