Chapter Nineteen - Chapter Eighteen
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Chapter Eighteen
“WHAT’S UP WITH you, Valley?” Patch barked, smacking me on the side of the head and jolting me awake from my slumped position at a table in the common room. The sudden impact sent my heart racing. “You ain’t taking any weird shit, are you? Because I’ll boot your ass out.”
I rubbed my eyes, the room spinning as I tried to focus. The common room was buzzing with life, laughter. “Shit, what time is it?” I muttered, fumbling for my phone. For the second night in a row, I’d avoided my room, preferring the company of noise over the silence that tormented me. All the spare rooms were still occupied by visiting charters.
“Time for you to fucking answer me!” Patch snapped, pulling up a chair across from me with a thud. “What the hell is your problem?”
Relief washed over me as I saw it was only two, meaning I wasn’t late for work. But that relief quickly turned to unease under Patch’s intense gaze. “I just fell asleep. I’m not into any weird shit,” I replied defensively.
“Don’t try to bullshit me, kid. What’s your problem that you can’t even make it to bed? This isn’t like you.”
“I got a lot on my mind, and being alone makes it fucking worse,” I offered a half-truth. “I promise you I’m clean.”
Patch leaned back, never breaking eye contact, a smirk forming. “This about a woman? The blonde you had on your arm the other day, right?” My expression gave him the answer he needed. “You fuck up?” Again, my face betrayed me. Patch misses nothing. He slapped the table. “If she means something, then fix it. If not, get your head out of your ass.”
With that, he stood and walked away without a backward glance. Once Patch had spoken his mind, he was done. I leaned back with a heavy sigh, staring at the ceiling, and muttered, “If only it was that simple.”
With a groan, I pushed myself up and headed to my room. I needed a shower, a change of clothes, and something to eat before work. For a fleeting moment, I considered asking Patch to move me, but I knew he’d tell me to suck it up. It wasn’t his problem. Plus, a part of me wanted to be near her, conflicted with the part that insisted I needed to keep pushing her away.
Two hours later, I walked into Twisted Heat, the pulsing music and flashing lights doing little to lift my spirits. My eyes immediately sought out the bar where I knew she’d be tonight. My jaw clenched as I saw her laughing at something Sean said, his arm casually draped over the bar. Jealousy twisted my gut, not just because of Sean, but because that smile on her face shouldn’t be there if she was hurting like I was. And, as twisted as it was, I wanted her to be suffering too, even though none of this was her fault.
In this shitty mood, when Val came toward me with a big smile on her face, touching her tassel covered nipples, I didn’t move. I waited with a smile of my own. “Hey there, gorgeous,” she purred, wrapping her arms around me and leaning in close, rubbing herself on me. “You look delicious, baby.” With all the willpower I could muster, I stopped myself from recoiling as she licked my cheek, her breath hot against my skin.
My gaze locked onto Madeline’s as I whispered in Val’s ear, a promise for later. Finally, I saw the hurt where it should be before she turned away, giving me her back. With her no longer looking, I pushed Val away and started to walk off, but she stopped me with a touch on my arm.
“So, later out back?” she asked, hope gleaming in her eyes.
“Yeah,” I replied, trying to convince myself I could go through with it because that would be the final nail in the coffin with Madeline. No going back. My heart sank at the thought of her moving on, writing me off.
I felt my pockets for my phone and cursed, realizing I left it in my saddlebag. I hurried out front to my bike. My steps halted at the sight of the bracelet wrapped around the handlebar, the beads glinting under the dying sun. With shaky fingers, I unwound it and rolled it in my palm, scanning the parking lot and seeing no one. It had been years since Kezia left me beads; her reminder not to forget her and what she was capable of. I tightened my fist around the bracelet and closed my eyes in frustration.
When would it end?
“OH GOD, OH God , this is not happening,” I whispered to myself, fighting back tears as I plastered a smile on my face.
He did not just proposition Val.
He wouldn’t be that cruel, but there it was, right in front of my eyes. Was I in some weird alternate universe? I just don’t understand why this is happening. Did I do something wrong? We were great together. There was no faking what we had in and out of the bedroom.
“I can do this,” I mumbled, turning around to wait on customers.
“Of course you can, honey, I’m here now and I got your back,” Casimir called over the music from a stool he had taken when I wasn’t looking.
I smiled in relief. Cas being here would help me get through the evening. He had a way of making everything seem more manageable, and I was privileged to call him a friend. “I really need it tonight, thank you,” I replied, not bothering to lie.
Val gave a little squeal, leaning on the bar and handing me a drink order to fill. “He wants to meet me after work,” she said with a sly smile. “Looks like both of us get to take that train.”
“And what train would you be hopping?” Casimir asked, giving her a long, scrutinizing look that clearly showed his disapproval.
“Not that it’s your business, since I don’t know you, but I’m so happy I don’t give a shit,” she gushed. “That perfect piece of meat over there.” She pointed Valley out as he walked in from outside.
Casimir gave Jarrod a look of disbelief and a sniff before saying, “I’ve seen better meat on roadkill. But I suppose it’s good enough for crows and vultures.”
“What’s your problem?” Val asked, her eyes wide with confusion and her face flushed with anger.
“I don’t have one, but like Jesus, I can work miracles,” he said, handing her his card with a smirk. “Come see me. I can take care of that color for you and some extensions would do wonders for you, make you look less…oh never mind.”
“Go to hell,” Val hissed, tossing his card back at him and picking up the tray of drinks before walking off.
“Cas, don’t be mean,” I chastised gently. “I have to work with her. It’s not her fault Jarrod made moves on her.”
“I call it like I see it, Madeline,” he defended himself with a dismissive wave of his hand. “You’re just too damn nice to see she’s really just a witch disguised as a scarecrow, and that’s why I’m here. Now give me a martini, neat.”
So that’s what Casimir did. He sat there all night, chatting with Margie, regular customers, and keeping me distracted from the fact that Jarrod was completely ignoring me and staying out of my line of sight. But as the night wore on, I started feeling physically sick, wondering if Jarrod would really meet Val at the end of the night.
Casimir had left an hour ago, and my shift was almost over, thank God. I cleaned the bar area and restocked everything. “When you’re ready, I’ll walk you out,” Sean said with a smile.
“Just let me get changed and I’ll meet you at the back door,” I replied, checking in with Margie and then heading into the dressing room to change. I didn’t see Val anywhere and hadn’t seen Jarrod either.
Were they together?
I pushed out the door and into the night air to wait on Sean, and that’s when I got my answer. The pair were on the other side of the dumpster, and I stood frozen, staring at them, too much in shock and filled with hurt to move.
MY HEART HAMMERED in my chest as I dragged Val behind the dumpsters. The weight of my warped emotions bore down on me, the bitter taste of jealousy and hurt filling my mouth. Madeline, surrounded by other men, consumed my thoughts while I stood helplessly by, unable to have her.
I wanted her to feel the same emotions, to see them on her face. The sick reasoning in my head was it would somehow make me feel better.
Val’s hands roamed over my jeans as she whispered dirty words in my ear, but all I could hear was the sound of my own conflicted thoughts. We waited in the shadows for Madeline to finish her shift, and as she appeared, I leaned heavily against the cold bricks with Val in front of me.
“God, you’re so fucking hot,” Val purred, her hands fumbling with the button on my jeans. She put on a show that I couldn’t seem to match. “I meant what I said earlier, and I could devour you right now.”
“Eat away, sweetheart,” I replied, guiding her to her knees.
I fought the urge to glance over at Madeline as Val’s fingers moved over me. Val’s seductive words fell flat as she struggled with the button on my jeans. Was she oblivious to my lack of response? My cock was not rising to the occasion. Just as I felt my zipper lowered, the door opened again, and Sean’s voice shattered our little bubble. “Ready?” My hopes were crushed as Madeline mumbled a reply and walked away with him.
Show’s over.
“Never mind,” I told Val, quickly buttoning up my jeans and stepping around her. “I forgot I have something else to do.”
“What the fuck, Valley?” she snapped, glaring at me as she stood up.
As if on autopilot, I left Val without a second glance and followed behind Madeline and Sean. My frustration boiled over as Sean put his arm around her. Was he interested in Madeline? It certainly seemed that way. They stopped in front of her van, and I moved closer, trying to hear their conversation, but the distance was too great.
Sean pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back as she seemingly poured out all her emotions to him. My satisfaction at seeing her hurt was short-lived as she clung to Sean like she never wanted to let go. I watched in anger as his lips brushed against her hair. She probably didn’t even feel it, but I saw it clear as day.
My fist slammed into the car beside me, causing a loud bang to echo through the quiet parking lot. Startled, Sean and Madeline looked around, searching for the source of the noise.
I quickly moved in the opposite direction and returned to the club, knowing Sean would search the parking lot soon enough. I needed to have a talk with him about boundaries.
When I found Sean, I grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the wall. “Listen here, you fucking prick. Back the fuck away from Madeline.”
Sean’s eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly regained his composure. “Valley, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t play dumb with me,” I growled, tightening my grip on his collar. “I saw the way you were looking at her, and I won’t tolerate it.”
Sean’s eyes widened in understanding. “It was you in the parking lot,” he said, not looking one bit intimidated by the situation he found himself in. “She was upset. Should I have been a dick to her?”
“Just stay away from her,” I repeated.
“Is she yours? Because I’m pretty sure that was you I saw getting a blowjob from Val behind the dumpster,” he smirked, pissing me off. “Look, I like Madeline. She’s sweet and doesn’t deserve whatever this is you’re doing to her.”
“You’re just a prospect, and you do what you’re told,” I snarled, furious he admitted to wanting her.
“The bylaws are clear that if she’s not claimed by a club member, then she’s fair game,” he stated, his gaze never wavering from mine.
The words stung with truth, but I refused to let it show. “We’ll see about that,” I said, releasing my grip on him and turning to walk away and heading outside, straddling my bike, roaring out of the parking lot. Ten minutes later, I found myself once again sitting outside Madeline’s apartment, staring into the dark windows.