Chapter Twenty - Chapter Nineteen
CHAPTER TWENTY
Chapter Nineteen
“SIT DOWN, MADELINE ,” Dad ordered, as I was preparing to go to work at Twisted Heat. His tone was firm, leaving no room for argument. “I want to talk to you real quick.”
A knot tightened in my stomach. I knew this moment was coming. He had heard about Jarrod, and now it was time to face it. I sank onto the couch, my heart pounding in my chest. “Sure, Dad. What do you want to talk about?”
“What happened between you and Jarrod?” he asked, his face etched with concern and a touch of sadness. “I thought he was special.”
A sad smile tugged at my lips as I shrugged, trying to mask the hurt. “He was... but he didn’t feel the same.”
“He’s a fool,” Dad said, moving closer and taking my hand in his. His touch was warm, reassuring. “But I’m confused.”
“Why?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Because Jarrod sits across the street at night, just watching. Should I be worried? Is he dangerous?”
His words hit me like a slap in the face. Jarrod, outside at night? I never expected this. “Why would he do that?” I murmured, more to myself than to Dad. “He made it clear we were over.”
“Listen to me, Madeline,” Dad said, his voice dropping to a serious tone. “He doesn’t think it’s over, or he wouldn’t be prowling around here at night. Do you want me to talk to him?”
“No,” I replied quickly, my mind racing. Dad may be in a wheelchair, but he knows how to defend himself and carries a gun. He wouldn’t hesitate to confront Jarrod. “I’ll talk to him and find out why he’s hanging around.”
Dad gave me a long, searching look. “Okay, but I won’t allow a man who disrespected my daughter to keep hanging around. Tell him he’ll be dealing with me if he keeps it up.”
“I promise I’ll talk to him tonight,” I said, standing and grabbing my bag and kissing him on the cheek, feeling the familiar scratch of his stubble. “I better get moving. Kiss Ellie for me when she wakes up.”
“You know I will,” he promised, still looking concerned. As I reached the door, he added, “Madeline, you really are special, you know that, right?”
I turned around, my throat tight with emotion. “Yeah, I know. I love you, Dad.”
As I hurried outside, I took a huge breath of fresh air, trying to calm my nerves. I got into the van and let my head fall against the steering wheel, closing my eyes to gather my strength. The familiar scent of the vanilla air freshener and faint traces of Ellie’s crayons comforted me.
Finally, I started the vehicle and got on the road, blasting Lana Del Rey to match my mood. Last night, seeing Jarrod with Val almost broke me, and once again Sean let me cry on his shoulder. He was such a nice guy, and I’m glad I met him.
The vision of Jarrod letting Val do that to him played over and over again in my mind last night, not letting me sleep. My classes at the studio helped to distract me, allowing me to get lost in music and dance.
However, as I made my way to the club, the memory of what I’d seen last night came rushing back like a runaway car. The feeling that he wanted me to see him with her wouldn’t go away. He knew when I would be leaving and chose that time and place. It was almost like he wanted to finish me off in the most hurtful way possible.
The question again arose: Why? Why did he want to hurt me? Last night, I had replayed every interaction between us, searching desperately for a reason but coming up empty.
I pulled into the parking lot of Twisted Heat, shutting off the engine. The distant thump of the club’s music vibrated through the ground. I grabbed my bag and got out. My heart skipped a beat as my eyes caught Jarrod leaning next to the back door. His presence was a jolt to my system, sending my stomach fluttering.
My body was a Judas, a Benedict Arnold, with its betrayal.
I stopped in my tracks, not liking the look in his eyes and the smirk on his face. For a brief minute, I thought about entering through the front, but it was club policy for the dancers to come in the back. So, with a heavy heart and determined step, I started toward the door, keeping my head high and trying to act like I didn’t care about him being there.
I had almost reached the door, and he was just pushing away from the wall when the door opened, and Margie stepped out. “We got an asshole,” she said to Jarrod. “It’s a matter of minutes before he gets out of line.”
My sigh of relief was so loud I’m sure they could hear it. “I’ll take care of it,” Jarrod replied, giving me one last look before heading inside.
“What’s going on with you two?” Margie asked, her hand stopping me from entering. Her eyes searched mine, concerned.
I took a few minutes to give her the gist of the situation and feeling so very tired of talking about it. “I just want to forget about the whole thing,” I pleaded, feeling the weight of exhaustion.
Margie shook her head and said, “Just be careful with him. Something is off. I overheard him threatening Sean to stay away from you last night. It’s strange he’s being territorial and yet is letting you go.”
“Of all the damn nerve,” I snapped, anger flaring up. “After what he did! How could he have the audacity to scare other men away?”
“That’s a man for you,” Margie said seriously. “Men throughout history have found reasons to be raging assholes. Nothing ever changes.”
“Well, he had no right,” I said, pulling open the door with more force than necessary. “I’ll talk and go out with whoever I choose. It’s none of his business.”
Margie chuckled. “That’s the spirit. Just don’t back down.”
Feeling more confused than ever, I pushed into the dressing room to get ready for the evening. The first chance I got, I was going to tell Jarrod to stop whatever it was he was doing. I hated confrontation, but it had to be done.
“WAS THIS SOME sort of fucking test?” I growled, my grip tightening on the glass in my hand. Sean and Madeline were pushing my limits, and I was about to explode.
With the fear of Kezia and my need for Madeline constantly on my mind, lack of sleep, and Madeline’s fucking dancing, I was on the edge. Seeing her fawn over Sean made me want to tear him apart. I didn’t care who got hurt in the crossfire. Madeline had three performances tonight and was waitressing in between. She didn’t even look my way; her smile reserved for that piece of shit, Sean.
I’d had enough.
I hid in the closet behind the stage, waiting for her to finish her last dance. As soon as she stepped off the stage, I grabbed her and pulled her into the darkness, pinning her against the wall. “What the hell, Jarrod?” she gasped, trying to push me away. “Let me go!”
“We need to talk,” I growled, unable to resist pressing my lips against her neck. Her scent was fucking intoxicating. “What the hell are you doing with Sean?”
“You don’t own me!” she hissed, her eyes burning with anger. “I can talk to whoever I want, be with whoever I want, and it’s none of your business.”
“Stay away from him,” I warned her, my cock straining against my pants as I pressed myself into her. “You don’t want to find out what happens if you don’t.”
“Why are you doing this to me, Jarrod?” she pleaded, her voice breaking. “What did I do to you? You were with Val, and yet you act like we’re together. It’s all so crazy.”
I didn’t have an answer for that. I couldn’t explain the fucking mess that was Kezia. Instead, I pushed my erection into her and growled, “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is I still want to fuck you.”
“You bastard,” she cried, her knee connecting with my balls and shoving me away. She threw the door open and stormed out. “Stay the hell away from me, Jarrod, and that goes for my apartment. You show up again, and my dad will shoot you!”
I watched her go, my cock still throbbing with pain. Fuck, I needed to get a grip. Why did I fucking say that? I adjusted myself and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. But all I could think about was Madeline’s sweet body and the way she tasted. I needed to have her, dammit. She was mine and my mind wouldn’t accept anything else.
Even a knee to the nuts didn’t stop my need for her.
I made my way back to the heart of the club, my eyes scanning the room for Madeline and not seeing her. She’s probably getting ready to leave since it’s the end of the night and that fucking Sean will walk her out. “Hey baby, want to try again tonight?” Val purred, hugging my side.
“No,” I said, moving away to get ready to run stragglers out of the club so I could leave.
“Why did you lead me on?” Val snapped from behind me. “Is it because of Mandy? I saw you and her coming out of that closet. Snipe might be interested in that information.”
This bitch was trying to threaten me. I turned to her and snarled, “Go ahead, tattle tits. I don’t give a fuck.”
Her face fell as she turned on her heel and hurried away from me without responding. I shook my head and got back to work. My mind was on one thing and that was Madeline. I couldn’t leave her alone and I didn’t know what I was going to do.
I HURRIED DOWN the hallway and into the dressing room, my heart pounding from my encounter with Jarrod. The door slammed behind me, startling the other girls. Their eyes snapped to me in alarm. “Sorry,” I mumbled, dropping my head and rushing into the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind me.
Gripping the sink, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Mandy stared back at me, the stage persona I wore like a mask. With shaking hands, I turned on the water and scrubbed my face, desperate to wash her away. I needed to see Madeline again, to regain control and perspective. Jarrod’s harsh words echoed in my mind, making me feel cheap, dirty, and utterly confused.
I dried my face with paper towels and sat on the toilet, burying my face in my hands. Time seemed to stretch endlessly until a knock on the door reminded me I wasn’t alone. With a determined breath, I stood and opened the door to see Cherry standing there. “I was getting worried. You okay?” she asked. “You look pale.”
“It must have been something I ate,” I lied. “I’m not feeling well.”
“Lucky for you it’s time to go home,” she said with a concerned smile before stepping into the bathroom.
As I gathered my things, a realization hit me like a cold wave: I needed to find another job. The money was good here, but the kind of men I attracted while dancing would never see past my body to the real me.
Mr. Right would never come into my life as long as I was Mandy.
Outside, I ran into Sean, who was waiting by the back door as usual to walk the dancers out. He smiled warmly, a huge difference to Jarrod’s insulting demeanor. “All set to leave?” he asked.
“Yeah, really ready,” I replied, my voice tinged with sadness. We pushed the door open and stepped outside. I half-expected to see Jarrod lurking in the shadows, but the alley was empty.
“So, Madeline,” Sean said, using my real name I had given him last night. “I know something happened between you and Valley, and I’m not going to pry.”
We stopped as I dug for my keys. “I’d really appreciate that. It’s not something I want to talk about.”
“I was wondering if you’d like to come with me to a barbecue. The club is having one to welcome home Patch and Katherine’s baby?” he asked, watching me closely. “Only as friends, no strings, no commitments.”
“I don’t know... what if?” I trailed off, unable to voice my fear.
“What if Valley is there?” he guessed. At my nod, he continued. “So what? You can’t let him control you, Madeline. That seems to be what he wants, and I don’t want to see you give that to him. And of course, I like you,” he added with a chuckle, touching my hair playfully.
He was right.
Jarrod had threatened Sean, and by turning him down, I’d be giving Jarrod exactly what he wanted. What if Sean was my chance at happiness and I just threw it away? “Okay,” I said with a smile and handed him my phone so we could exchange numbers. “Let me know the details. I have a class that morning but will be free by noon.”
“That’s perfect,” he said, glancing toward the club’s back door where a shadow stood watching. He shook his head. “I better get back inside.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek that caught me by surprise. “See you tomorrow, Madeline.”
I touched my cheek where his lips had been before getting into my van. Sean seemed so sweet, but then again, so did Jarrod at first. I wasn’t diving headfirst into a relationship, but it would be a nice distraction that could lead to more. If only I wasn’t still in love with Jarrod. It was a sad truth, but a truth, nonetheless.
Turning up the music, I forced my mind away from men and focused on lining up job interviews. I needed to get away from Twisted Heat.
I sang with the music as I navigated my way through the dimly lit streets. The scenery blurred as my thoughts spiraled. How had things gotten so complicated? Just a few weeks ago, Jarrod was the man I always dreamed about. Now, he was a stranger, twisting my emotions and being so damn mean.
I parked in front of my apartment, the quiet of the night pressing down on me. Walking toward the door, I tried to push away the memory of Jarrod’s sneer, the cutting words he had thrown at me like daggers. I fumbled with my keys, finally managing to unlock the door and slip inside.
The familiar surroundings of my apartment provided little comfort, and I was glad for once dad was in his room. I stopped at Ellie’s door and peeked inside, smiling softly, and headed straight to my bedroom. I dropped my bag and went into the bathroom, turning on the shower, letting the steam fill the room as I stripped off my clothes. The hot water cascaded over me, washing away the remnants of the night, but not the turmoil inside.
After drying off, I pulled on my coziest pajamas and crawled into bed. My phone buzzed with a message from Sean: “Looking forward to Sunday. Sweet dreams, Madeline.”
A small smile tugged at my lips. Sean’s kindness was a ray of hope in the dark maze my life had become since Jarrod stepped into my life again. I typed a quick response, thanking him, before setting the phone aside.
My thoughts drifted to the barbecue. It could be a fresh start, a chance to break free from the toxic cycle I was trapped in with Jarrod. Yet, the fear of facing Jarrod again loomed large, his words not easily forgotten. His presence was like a shadow, always lurking, his threats a real worry.
Would he hurt Sean if I continued to talk to him?
I pulled a blanket over myself as exhaustion began to pull me under; I whispered a silent promise to myself: I would not let Jarrod control my life; he had no right to even try.