Chapter 12 Kayla
Kayla
We’d finished the rest of our meal quietly before climbing back into Sebastian’s car.
I didn’t feel as safe on the streets of New Orleans as I used to.
Even when I was Francois and émile’s witch, I didn’t feel like such a target as I did now, walking around with Sebastian when he was known in the vampire community as the new regent.
It made sense that some of those vampires were going to test him.
The power exchange, the new king, had destabilized things and revealed a side of New Orleans that I’d never seen before.
I’d have preferred to live on in ignorance and not be aware of my human frailty.
The memory of the vampires in the meeting flitted through my mind and I shuddered, turning away from the car window in case I saw too deeply into the shadows I’d been reminded existed.
As it had turned out, Sebastian had his own shadows. I turned his words over in my mind. I would never have guessed that he’d been sent here, to such an important position, in disgrace. Maybe the king of Baton Rouge really was merciful in ways that I’d never expected vampires to be.
Certainly émile and Francois had never been one bit merciful.
I’d seen flashes of something more in Francois, but even his humor had enjoyed a cruel streak.
Never anything soft. émile had almost been cloaked in darkness.
He’d had something inside him, a power that spoke of something truly ancient.
It made almost no sense that he’d been out here in New Orleans, enduring stasis, when he’d always exuded the potential for more.
That was a power that had been seductive to me.
I returned my thoughts to Sebastian and his confession. He’d tried to turn another woman. Misguidedly, perhaps, but why did that feel like something of a betrayal?
I all but scoffed at myself. Betrayal? After I hadn’t even known what vampire mates really were and what that meant? While I still wasn’t sure I even wanted to be one.
Except now it was like the word mate had burrowed under my skin and that was what I was. As if I’d never truly been anything else.
“You okay?” Sebastian rested his hand on my thigh, and I concentrated on the touch, drawing strength from it, glad of the distraction from my heavy thoughts.
“Yeah.” I blew out a breath as we drove through the gate to Sebastian’s house—to safety.
It was funny how quickly my prison had started to feel like the safest place I could be, and it was a relief when the gate rolled shut to keep the monsters of my city out.
Technically, Sebastian was also one of those monsters, but I gazed at him and saw all he truly was.
He really wasn’t a monster at all. His blue eyes captured me and held me close.
I longed to push my fingers through his hair, but I curled them into fists instead.
He said I was his mate, but he didn’t feel like mine to touch so casually. Not yet anyway.
Although I loved his kisses and the way my body longed for him.
Sliding from the car felt almost like a dream, as if I was far away and distant. Sebastian held my hand as he led me through the house to the foot of the stairs. He turned to me and cupped my face between his palms then looked at me like he was studying every last detail.
His eyes darkened. “Kayla,” he murmured.
My lips parted but I had nothing to say. I was helpless under his gaze. I only had desire for his touch, for his kiss.
His lips were soft when they touched mine. Gentle and not demanding at all. But I wanted. I longed for him, and I wound my arms around his neck, pressing closer. His hands rested on my hips, their presence scorching my skin through my jeans like he’d branded me. Like I’d only ever be his.
As if he heard my thoughts, he kissed me with greater longing, his tongue sweeping into my mouth as he claimed it as his own, and I responded, pushing my body against his as heat raced through me.
None of the men who’d kissed me in the past had ever made me feel this way.
Sebastian moved his hands until one rested on the small of my back and one rested on the curve of my ass, and I wanted to hook my leg over his hip in response.
Shit, I wanted to climb the man like a tree right here in his hallway.
He chuckled against my mouth. “Would you like to take this upstairs?”
I hesitated. I knew what we’d do upstairs, behind closed doors, and as much as I wanted all of Sebastian, this was a decision I’d considered in the past and always selected no as my default answer.
But my head nodded like my body was suddenly in charge of all the decision-making rather than my brain, and Sebastian kissed me again, my body almost singing at a decision well made in response.
My heart beat wildly as we walked up the stairs side by side, and he tugged me gently to the left as we reached the top, toward his private quarters rather than the way to the guest rooms. I swallowed.
We were really doing this. I was doing this.
And yes, I knew I could say no at any time, and I couldn’t imagine Sebastian not respecting that, but I really didn’t want to.
I wanted everything that was on offer to me.
As much as anxiety trickled quietly through me at the thought of being in his bed.
But he only needed to look at me for my whole being to feel like it was on fire. Something in his gaze turned my insides molten. I itched with a kind of need I’d never known before, and I needed Sebastian to soothe that.
The anxiety bled away.
Everything was right in my world. More right than it had ever been.
Losing my virginity had always seemed like a big deal before.
Like I was giving myself to someone. That was how I’d been brought up, anyway.
As if it was some sort of huge honor for the guy, a special gift I could only give once.
A gift I had never wanted anyone to take from me.
I was glad Lettie had hidden it away, making it a secret that only I knew about. No one could want it then.
But it was different with Sebastian. It was right.
Maybe my virginity was a gift. One I wanted to give to this man.
He opened the third door we came to and revealed a beautiful room that could have been part of a photo shoot for a homes and garden magazine. Seriously, something about how the better half lived in Louisiana.
A four-poster bed stood against the far wall, and the sheer white drapes fastened neatly to each post would be perfect for creating the illusion of privacy or for billowing in a light breeze blowing through the balcony doors.
The rest of the room was all clean lines and masculine in the kind of elegant way that embodied Sebastian.
His scent hung in the air here, too. That sea salt, slightly wild aroma that tickled my nose and excited my senses.
I tried to look around and take everything in without being too nosy or curious, but the bed kept drawing my attention. It was perfectly made, but in my mind, the sheets and covers were already rumpled by our passion, and I shivered at the image.
Sebastian wrapped his arms around me. “Cold?”
I shook my head.
“Afraid?”
I shook my head again then reconsidered. “Little nervous, maybe?”
He pressed a kiss to the side of my neck, and I leaned away, granting him more access to my skin. His tongue flicked against me. “It’s normal to be nervous,” he whispered. “But I won’t hurt you, I promise. I’ll be gentle. I want to treasure you, Kayla.”
And I trusted him.
I swayed against him a little and steadied myself with my hands on his hips. He tugged my T-shirt from where it was partially tucked into my jeans and ran his fingers over my skin, sending another shiver of anticipation through me.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered against me, almost like I wasn’t supposed to hear those words, like they were just for him.
Then he kissed my lips again before pulling back.
“In all the years I’ve existed, I’ve never met anyone like you before.
No one has ever evoked these feelings in me. You were made for me.”
His earnest words melted me, and I relaxed against him, eliminating all space between us as his touch roamed my back. Our kiss started off sweetly again, even though I was hungry for him, but I didn’t push, choosing to let him take the lead.
I wanted him to want me, to choose me. And I wanted him to show me that with the way he kissed me.
Without even lifting his head, he walked slowly backward, moving toward the bed, and drawing me with him like it was the most natural thing in the world. My lips clung to his as he lowered me to the sheets.
“You okay?” He checked in with me and I nodded.
“Yes.”
He kissed me again, this time a lazier, softer kiss, his tongue lightly sweeping into my mouth as we breathed the same breath. It was all so gentle. I barely noticed as he inched my T-shirt up my torso, until his palm cupped my breast over my bra.
My breath hitched. I wanted his touch on me. All over me. He reached behind me and unhooked my bra in one smooth move.
“Must have been on the easy setting,” I murmured.
He chuckled. “Didn’t realize there were different levels of difficulty.” But then his attention wandered and my back arched as he played his tongue around my nipple before sucking it into this mouth.
His right thumb strummed my other nipple and I stretched into his ministrations, my movements languid and relaxed. I’d never been this comfortable with a man. He seemed to worship me, and my body issues melted away as his every touch and glance told me that he found me attractive.
The waistband of my jeans loosened as he flicked the button open. “Also on the easy setting, I see,” he whispered, and I grinned.
“Apparently so.”
He skimmed his palm from my breasts and across my abdomen, and I sucked in a breath as his touch tickled against my skin.
“Sorry.” He pressed a kiss close to my left hip. Then he trailed his tongue across me, and I squirmed a little at the heat he drew through my core.