Chapter 19 #2
I glanced at the floor, at the shattered plate of food at Ciara’s feet, and I cringed at the pieces scattered across the floor of Sebastian’s hallway.
I should have heard her, but I’d been so preoccupied in my thoughts.
Before I could move forward, though, a maid hurried into view, and I beckoned Ciara forward.
“Step into the office with us for a sec.”
She folded her arms and shook her head. “I don’t think so. Anything you want to say to me can be said in public.” She nodded her head toward the maid.
Shit. No, I couldn’t.
“In here, please, Ciara.” Sebastian’s tone left no room for argument, and he stepped back as he gestured into his office.
Her eyes blazed and she drew herself up in height. “Excuse me?”
I watched with interest as Sebastian tensed before relaxing again. Luckily, he was used to human women who seemed determined to challenge him. Kayla had never given him an easy ride.
“I think you heard.” His tone was casual, but it was clear he wasn’t planning on playing games.
“Conri won’t be pleased you spoke to me this way.” She jutted her chin out as she invoked her brother’s name.
Sebastian laughed. “Your brother? Because he knows you’re here?”
Her cheeks reddened. “Not exactly.”
“Then I suggest you step into my office. I believe we have some things to discuss.” He gestured again.
She hesitated, her glance at the door full of longing.
“Ciara.” Sebastian’s tone was part coaxing, part command.
She sighed. “Yes, Regent,” she muttered, and I bit back my grin.
Thank fuck Sebastian came in useful for something occasionally. He closed the door to the office behind the three of us. “Should I leave the two of you alone?”
“I might kill him.” Ciara spoke in a low groan as she stalked across the room and back again, seeming content to ignore both of us as she tried to process the situation aloud.
“I mean, who the hell does he think he is? I can’t be a vampire mate.
” She laughed, the sound a definite shifter bark.
“I’m not a vampire. I’m a shifter, even if my dominant side is human.
I mean, hell, I can’t even mate with another wolf!
What makes you think a vampire would be any better? ”
“How do you know?” I blurted the words before I even thought how to phrase my question.
“Know what?” She stopped her pacing long enough to flick me an irritated glance.
“Know that you can’t mate.” Suddenly, the answer was really important.
She shrugged. “Plenty of guys tried. I just never wanted to be broken in two.” Her eyes blazed as she spoke.
“They tried?” My voice was louder now.
“Sure, they tried.” Seb chuckled as he finished speaking. “I mean look at her.” He nodded at Ciara.
She turned her annoyed look on him, obviously no longer impressed by his position. “Sure, dude. I just don’t have the strength of a wolf, and nothing like that was gonna happen.”
Seb held his hands up. “I’m going to find Kayla. See if we can’t get some more snacks for the hangry human shifter in aisle seven.” He grinned again, way too amused by my very annoyed mate and left, offering her a small, meaningless bow as he did.
Ciara turned to me, her fists clenched. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Jason.
Cut that fucking crap.” She gestured toward me.
“This is what I can’t deal with when it comes to you fucking bloodsuckers.
” She stopped and crossed her arms, her gaze suddenly challenging as she quieted her voice.
“None of you can control your fucking tempers.”
I brought my hand to my mouth. My gums ached and my fangs were out.
“And I might call myself a shifter, but we all know I’m as good as fucking human.” Her eyes gleamed. “How the hell could I ever mate with a supernatural?”
The hurt in her voice was visceral. Her pain hurt me. My fangs receded and I reached for her. “Hey, it’s okay.” Unexpectedly, she let me hold her, almost melting against me like I was her last hope for…something.
I stroked my hand over her back, trying to soothe whatever was wrong. Whatever it was, it was partly my fault. I’d just told her she was my mate in the worst possible way.
“It’s true.” I kept my words quiet, gentle.
It didn’t feel good that I was now apparently breaking bad news, but at least I knew.
“It’s true. You’re my mate.” I took her left hand and pressed it to my chest. “I feel it in here. Were connected at a biological level that’s really hard to explain.
It’s instinctive. There’s nothing either of us can do to change it.
I knew it that first day I saw you. Remember?
At the lake?” I paused as I rested my hand over hers, just drinking in our proximity.
This moment was worth so much. “I’d say I’m falling for you, Ciara. ”
She looked up at me, and I chuckled.
“But that would be a lie. It’s already a done deal. I’ve fallen for you. There was never a different way for me, or a different one. You’re it, Ciara. I can’t live without you, and whatever that means for you, I’ll accept.”
She stepped away, and the sudden loss of her body leaning against mean turned me cold. “What? No. This can’t be real. You’re wrong.”
“Ciara…”
She put up her hand to stop me from saying anything else. “I can’t do any of this right now.” She spun and headed for the door. “Where’s the way out of this damn place?”
I waited a beat. She wouldn’t get very far with the guards outside, but I still needed to stop her because there were too many dangers outside to allow my mate to wander around on her own. I hadn’t meant for this to be such a shock.
Hopefully, she’d let me fix it.
“No, Ciara.” I caught up to her quickly and grasped her upper arm lightly. “It’s not safe out there.”
She whirled around, her eyes blazing with anger. “And it’s safe in here, is it?”
“Yes.” My voice came out tight as I fought to control my possessive instincts, the ones that threatened to make my fangs descend and my cheekbones become more prominent. If I went full, protective vampire right now, I could lose her for good.
She glared at me in silence.
“Please.” My request sounded almost weak, but it was all I could think of to say. “Let me look after you. I’m supposed to look after you. You’re a walking part of my soul, remember?”
She laughed, and I winced at the pain that sound caused me. Actual, physical pain that clamped around my chest.
She laughed again like she didn’t care what that sound might do to me. “Your soul?” she spat. “Like I believe that now? Or…or wait. If you knew this mate crap this whole entire time, why did you wait to tell me? Were you actually going to tell me?”
I swallowed as she watched me. Fuck. It was a real question. One I needed to answer. I swallowed again. I’d never had a dry throat like it.
“I was scared,” I whispered. “I thought if I told you too soon, I might lose you. Shifters and vampires, we have a bad history as it is. It’s worse for you and Conri. And why would you believe a man who declared you were his mate out of the blue?”
“So you didn’t even try? I wasn’t worth the risk?” She shook my hand from her arm. “Make up your mind, Jason. Did you want me or not?” Then she shrugged and shook her head. “You know what? Fuck you. I don’t even care anymore. This is all bullshit. First Conri, now you.”
She stormed out into the yard, leaving me to wonder how everything had gone so wrong.