Chapter 8
Chyanne
I went to the doctor today, and the Doctor is happy with how everything is progressing so far.
Van’s kiss lingers in the back of my mind. I do like him. I think he’s a great guy, but I am also aware everyone has made it clear he doesn’t want kids. I respect that, too. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent, and maybe he will never want children and that’s okay.
It felt right with his arms around me. It felt peaceful and that’s not something I’ve felt in a long time. Now, I’m walking back into the clubhouse with a small envelope that tells me the gender of the baby. I wanted to wait to open it until I was with Nicole.
I glance around, but I don’t see her; however, I do spot him. Van stands off to the side, looking intently at his phone. I walk over and bump him with my shoulder and grin as he lifts his head to look at me. That’s when a smile crosses his face.
“Where have you been?”
“At the doctor”s,” I reply, holding up the envelope. “This says if the baby is a boy or girl.”
“Well? What are you waitin’ for?” he asks, sounding as excited as I am. He reaches for the envelope, and I let him take it.
“Is Nicole around?”
“She’s with one of the guys,” he tells me.
“Oh. Okay. I just kinda wanted her to be here,” I tell him.
“Then wait for her. Can I look?”
“You want to know?”
“Hell, yeah, I wanna know,” he answers with a chuckle. Why does he care so much? What difference does it make to him? Nevertheless, I nod my head and let him look. He pulls open the envelope and smirks before smiling at me.
“You’re gonna be so happy.”
“Is it a girl?”
“I’m not tellin’ you. Wait for Nic. I’ll hold onto this just in case you get any ideas,” he says, stuffing the envelope into his back pocket before he reaches over and rests his hand on my stomach. I jerk a little at his touch, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
“I think it’s a girl. Maybe you should just tell me,” I tease him. He shakes his head and pulls his hand away before walking toward the bar. I watch him grab a beer and water before coming back to me and handing me the water.
“What did the doc say? Everything good?”
“Yeah. He said everything looks fine, and the baby is growing like it’s supposed to be,” I tell him.
“That’s good. Real good. Listen, I’ve been thinkin’ about the other night, and I want to know somethin’.”
“What’s that?”
“Do you really like me? Enough that you’d want to try this with me?”
“I do like you, Van. I’m just worried things won’t work out, and then it’ll be awkward for us.”
“I get that, but I still want to try,” he says, shocking the shit out of me. I didn’t really expect him to say that. I didn’t expect him to think about it this quickly either, but here we are.
“You do? You didn’t want kids, Van.”
“I’m not sayin’ I can take on the role of dad, Chy. I don’t know if I can.”
“I get that. I’m not asking you to either.”
“But you wanna try this?” I nod my head slowly at first before I see him smile. That smile could melt hearts just like the man himself.
“You sure about this?” I ask him once more before he reaches for me, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and pulling my lips to his. As he kisses me gently, I hear someone clear their throat. We pull apart, and I glance over to see Mask standing there.
“I won’t tell you two what to do, but I have a bad feelin’ about this,” he says, looking between the two of us. I let my eyes drop to the floor in front of me as he continued to talk, mostly to Van. He reminds him he didn’t want kids, and now he’s getting involved with a woman who’s pregnant. I understand what he’s saying, and it makes sense. Maybe this is wrong. Maybe it doesn’t even make sense for me to entertain the idea of having a relationship with Van. I mean, really, what’s the point if he doesn’t want kids and I’m having one?
“You get why I have an issue with this?” he asks as I raise my eyes and meet his. I nod my head.
“I get it, and I told him the same thing,” I say.
“And you? You get it?” he asks Van.
“I know what I’m doin’, Mask.”
“Do you? Because I think you’re thinkin’ with your cock right now,” he snaps at him. Van balls his hands into fists at his side as he looks at his friend.
“You think that? I haven’t fuckin’ touched her like that,” he growls low in his throat.
“Then what is this? What’s this all about?”
“I like her, Mask. I like her as a person.” Mask looks a little shocked at his words but doesn’t say anything else. He just nods his head and turns to walk off. Van turns to me, and I can see there’s something on his mind.
“This isn’t just about sex for me, Chy.”
“I know. It’s not about that for me either,” I tell him. He nods his head as Nicole walks back into the room. I smile as I walk over and pull her into a hug.
“What’s that for?”
“I love you, Nicole. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I love you too. How was the doctor?” When I pull back, Van strolls over and holds out the envelope.
“This will tell you,” he says with a grin on his face. Nicole snatches the paper and holds it in her hands, just staring at it.
“This is it, Chy. Boy or girl,” she says excitedly as her hands shake slightly.
“You ready to see if you’re having a niece or nephew?” I ask her. I’m nervous myself. I don’t know what to expect from this. Van just stands there smiling like a fool, and I can’t help but smile back at him.
“Wait. You already know?” Nicole snaps as she looks at Van.
“I didn’t tell him,” I tell her.
“I looked.”
“Why? This was supposed to be a surprise,” Nic whines. I almost laugh at her.
“He couldn’t help himself,” I tell her. She slaps at Van before she looks back down at the envelope in her hand. Then, she slowly opens it and pulls out a picture. Now I’m nervous. I wring my hands in front of me when she smiles and turns the photo toward me.
“It’s a boy!” she screams. “It’s a boy. We’re having a boy!” she screams even louder this time. I grab the picture and look at it. Right there, dead center it says it’s a boy. My heart leaps into my throat as I think about having a son. Will he be like his dad? Will I be able to raise him to be a better man than him? My smile slowly falls as I think about it.
Nicole rushes off to tell everyone as I stand still, stunned and unsure of everything now.
“What’s wrong?”
“What if I don’t raise him good enough? What if he turns out like Derrick?” I ask, looking up at Van. He shakes his head before cupping my face in his hand.
“Don’t do that. Don’t think like that. You’re gonna be great, Chyanne. You’re gonna raise the best kid.”
“I’m scared,” I tell him. He pulls me into his arms and holds me as tears stream down my cheeks. What if I can’t raise him better? What if I can’t do this at all?
“Don’t be scared. You’re not alone, Chy.”