Fourteen
FOURTEEN
Hart
I’d always prided myself on being a man who kept my cool and remained in control. It had always been easy for me to do when I had no attachments.
But things had changed for me after Reagan came into my life, and this whole situation was testing all my patience.
I knew I had to keep it together if I was going to give my guys the time they needed to take down this entire operation. I had to keep reminding myself that I’d found her, she was alive, and I’d have my opportunity for revenge. If I couldn’t do that, there was no question I would have lost it.
Because there was too much happening that had me ready to abandon the plan my coworkers and I had come up with to get not just Reagan but all the women out of this mess.
Initially, I’d remained composed. In fact, I thought it showed tremendous strength not to bash in the face of every man in this house when they spoke about the women the way they did.
But it wasn’t long before I found myself unraveling and losing my grasp on my control. The brunt of the emotional turmoil began when I’d seen the first few girls in those cells, heads bowed, wearing pathetic scraps of fabric meant to humiliate them. I couldn’t stomach the thought of that level of debasement for anyone, but to think Reagan had endured it left me feeling wildly unsettled.
Things only got worse as I continued to keep a casual pace—I didn’t want to do anything that seemed out of character and drew attention to me—and took in more terrified women with each cell I passed.
Then it happened.
I didn’t need to see her face to know it was her. Seeing her for the first time in nearly two weeks helped to settle something inside of me. But the relief I experienced was minor and very brief.
Because it hadn’t even been a full two weeks, and she’d become a shell of herself. Reagan had lost too much weight, and I couldn’t miss the utter discomfort she felt. Her distress was plain as day, and it was likely the result of two things. Being in this place and knowing what she was facing was part of it, but it was also the asshole who had been standing right beside her. I wanted to put my fist through his teeth.
The urge to run into that room, scoop her up, and destroy anyone who tried to stop me was strong, so I took longer than I thought I’d need to gather my bearings.
My eyes remained fixed on Reagan even after I’d entered that room, and Damien started talking about her. From what I’d gathered, Damien was likely one step down from the top of this organization. Where people like the man I soon learned was Javier took care of handling the girls, Damien was responsible for making sure the buyers were satisfied.
I continued to watch Reagan as I spoke that first word, and I saw how she responded to hearing my voice. She knew it was me. While that should have brought me a sense of joy, or even just some relief, it didn’t. Because I couldn’t miss how horribly it impacted her.
But as bad as all of that had been, the absolute worst of it was when Javier decided to tell me about her while putting his filthy hands on her. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to break each one of his fingers right there on the spot. The only thing that helped me remain mildly reserved was promising myself that I would snap every bone in those hands before this was over. It was entirely possible I wouldn’t stop there, considering he’d admitted to physically assaulting her to teach her a lesson.
All the rage I’d been experiencing before had dulled just a touch now that I was here in this room, alone with Reagan for the first time in weeks. It was only just a touch, though. Because I still had to keep up this stupid fucking charade when all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms, tell her how sorry I was, fix this mess, and let her know the truth of how I felt about her.
While it hadn’t exactly been a mystery before I’d arrived, if there had been any lingering doubt about what Reagan meant to me, that doubt would have vanished today. I was undeniably in love with this woman, and I was going to do whatever it took to keep her safe and get her home.
“I can’t believe this,” she rasped, her back to me.
I lifted my hands to my neck to undo the tie there, and after pulling it off, I took off the jacket. When I started on the buttons of my dress shirt, I finally spoke. “Take that thing off.”
Reagan’s body tensed, and she hesitated for half a beat before she slowly spun back around to face me. Horror was etched into every one of her features as she took two steps back. “What?”
I pulled my shirt out of the waistband of my pants and continued to work on the buttons. “Take that thing off your body.”
She studied me, utterly shocked by my response. “You’re serious?”
“Deadly.”
There was such an overwhelming sense of uneasiness in her, and it killed me to be like this with her. But I knew it was the only way to be sure I’d get her out of here alive and without additional harm. She had to believe I was this guy.
Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head slowly. “God, what an idiot I am. How could I have been so stupid? You knew this all along, didn’t you?”
I tipped my head to the side curiously, but I kept the tone of my voice uninterested. “Knew what?”
As the tears rolled down her cheeks, my fingers itched to wipe them away. “Nothing over the last year was real. It was all a lie, wasn’t it? Does your grandmother even exist?”
I would not lie to her about that. “She does exist.”
“You targeted me, didn’t you? It was a setup right from the start. I can’t believe I trusted you. I can’t believe I fooled myself into believing you were a good guy.” She sighed, swiped at her cheeks, and took another step back. “I should have known. You’ve been giving me commands right from the very start. And me? I was so stupid. I was so desperate to be loved by anyone, to feel just a touch of desire and longing by anybody, that I allowed myself to fall for you.”
That was like taking a knife to the gut. “I told you there would never be anything serious between us from the start, Reagan. I made that clear and gave you the choice to decide. You knew precisely what you were getting into with me, and I didn’t make you any promises about a serious future.”
“Maybe you should have told me that you’re a lying piece of shit who gets off on women being abused and violated,” she fired back, a spark of that fight flickering inside her. “Do you know what I’ve been through since I got here? Do you know what they’ve done to some of these women?”
Reagan walked to the opposite side of the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. Her gaze was on her bare feet, and I watched as she sobbed into her hands, the tears dripping down onto her thighs.
I repeatedly clenched and unclenched my jaw to control what I was feeling and keep myself planted those few feet inside the door.
It took a long time for her to lift her face from her hands and look at me again. “Two men took turns beating the living crap out of me the first day I was here. Javier and his buddy, Chris, didn’t stop until long after I’d given up on fighting back. It hurt to sit. It hurt to stand. It was an effort to eat the scraps of food I was given, let alone the pain I experienced when I walked.”
I already knew who Javier was. I was going to find out who Chris was, and before I left this place, I’d be sure neither one of them saw an ounce of mercy for what they did to her. Unwilling to let her see how everything she’d shared affected me, I tipped my chin up a bit and kept my eyes on her.
Reagan toyed with the material covering her thighs and continued. “I’ve been paraded around in this thing. I get two bathroom breaks a day with an audience. Showers only happen on buying days, and I get three minutes in the cold water for that. And I’ve been gawked at by strange, disgusting men like you.”
There was a part of me that wanted to know about everything she’d endured from the moment she got here, but there was the other part of me that couldn’t handle this now. Not when I couldn’t do anything to fix it, to make it better.
“Are you done?” I asked, my tone short.
She shook her head. “No. No, I’m not done. Do you know I had to listen and watch as the girl in the cell across from mine was raped? They put the light on in her cell, like she was on stage for everyone to watch. And when I refused to do that, they fed the sound over into my cell, and I had to listen to that poor girl being raped. And you want to know the worst parts about all of that?”
It was already worse than I had anticipated. I couldn’t imagine how much more she’d endured. “I suspect you’re going to tell me.”
“For starters, it was supposed to be me.”
My body tensed. I knew coming into this that Reagan could have already been violated and sold, but I tried not to think about it. I didn’t want to think about it.
“Yeah, that’s right, Hart. The man who raped Erin stood in front of my cell, trying to decide if it was me he wanted. And to think I was relieved when he walked away. Do you understand the guilt I feel? That should have been me, and instead, it was her.”
She paused for a moment, summoning the strength to continue. All I could do was wait until she was ready, because I wasn’t quite sure there was anything I could say now that would be helpful.
“If all that wasn’t bad enough, the guy who raped her decided he didn’t want to buy her. So now, Erin has to live with the terror of it happening all over again with another guy.” Reagan shook her head again with disgust. “The first few days I was here, I thought about you.”
I closed my eyes as my stomach clenched painfully.
“I thought about what you would do when you learned that I’d just vanished without a trace,” she started. “I knew what we were to each other or, well, what I thought we were to each other. And if nothing else, I thought you were a decent guy. I thought you might actually care enough about me to at least report me missing. And then I thought back on the last year of my life. I thought about the time we spent together and how much I enjoyed being around you. I developed feelings for you, even though I didn’t want to. And now, you’ve killed that. Now, I can’t believe it’s the truth, but I hate you. I hate you for doing this to me. And I hate myself for ever thinking that anybody would ever care about me.”
My lungs burned, my throat growing painfully tight. I had to take a few seconds to get my emotions under control, because if I spoke immediately, Reagan would know that she was affecting me. “Don’t worry, Reagan. You’re not the only one who hates me.”
I finished unbuttoning my shirt and stalked over to the bed. I couldn’t listen to any more of this. If I didn’t take any action, Reagan would surely find something else to say to gut me more than she already had.
“Twice now, I’ve told you to take that thing off your body. I won’t tell you again.”
She stared up at me, a hint of fear in her eyes. It was almost enough to get me to spill everything on the spot. It was a look I never wanted to see again.
“What if I decline?”
“I guess I can call Javier back here, so he can escort you back to your cell. Then you can wait for the next guy to come along,” I suggested. “Javier himself seems interested enough in you.”
Hurt slashed through her features. I hated myself the second the words were out of my mouth.
“I can’t believe you,” she whispered. “It’s sad. Someone like you or, I guess I should say, someone like the man you made me believe you were for a year doesn’t need to do this. That man could have any woman doing what he asked because she felt an attraction to him, because she loved him. It makes no sense why you would ever stoop to this level, to pay to have control over a woman. To have a sex slave.”
I was going to be sick.
“Don’t flatter yourself, Reagan. I have no plans to touch you.”
She jerked back, her lips parting. “What?”
I slid my shirt off my shoulders and held it in my hand as I waited for her to decide what her next move would be. What I didn’t do was respond.
Reagan suddenly realized what I wanted, stood, and pulled the see-through material over her head. When she dropped it on the floor, I held my shirt out to her. “Put this on, please.”
She swallowed roughly, surprise littering her features. “What?”
I jerked my chin to the floor. “That thing is hideous. As long as you’re here with me, you’ll wear my shirt and not that.”
Reagan looked at me like I’d handed her the world on a silver platter. Hesitantly, she took the shirt from me and murmured, “Thank you.”
Luckily, before things got too awkward, a knock came at the door. The sound caused Reagan to jump, and with the way things had just gone down between us, I needed to give her something. “It’s just the dinner I asked them to bring.”
“Oh.”
She finished buttoning the shirt while I moved to the door. I opened it just enough to get the plate of food but not enough for anyone to see inside.
I took the plate and said, “Thanks.”
“Of course, sir. Please let us know if there’s anything else you need.”
I dipped my chin before closing and locking the door again. When I turned around, my eyes landed on Reagan. She wasn’t even looking at me. She’d gotten the shirt buttoned up and was still standing beside the bed with her hands clasped in front of her. Her eyes were focused on the plate of food.
I cleared my throat, and Reagan’s gaze met mine. She looked embarrassed before diverting her attention to the floor. “Grab a seat on the bed.”
She hopped up, her legs dangling over the side.
I walked over to her and held the plate of food—some chicken, potatoes, and vegetables—out to her.
Confused, she asked, “What do you want me to do?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I want you to eat.”
Her eyes darted between the plate and my face. “Isn’t this… Aren’t you eating?”
I shook my head. “I ate today. You look like you haven’t eaten since they brought you here.”
Reagan’s throat bobbed. “Are you… are you sure?”
I shoved the plate into her hands. “Yes.”
For just a few moments, she considered whether to accept the offering, but eventually, she couldn’t refrain. Reagan scooted back on the bed and began to eat. I watched her eat ravenously, hating that she’d basically been starved.
A quarter of the way through, she looked up and apologized. “I’m sorry. Did you want some?”
My lips twitched. “No, Reagan. I just want you to eat. But be careful. I don’t want you to get sick.”
Her shoulders rounded as she shrank back. She was clearly confused at the sudden change in my tone. I watched as her eyes darted around the plate for a few seconds as though she were trying to figure something out. Whether she did or not, I didn’t know. But she eventually returned to eating.
I turned, walked back to the chair in the corner of the room, and sat down. My focus remained on her the entire time, and something that had been wound tight inside me unraveled a bit. We weren’t out of the woods yet, but at least I could relax knowing she was safe.
Reagan managed to get half of the meal done before she said, “I can’t eat any more.”
I stood, returned to the bed, and took the plate from her. “Are you sure?”
She nodded.
I set the plate down near the door, turned, and looked at her.
“What do you want me to do?” she asked, a slight rasp to her voice.
“Rest.”
“Where?”
I cocked a brow. “The bed.”
Her bottom lip trembled, tears filling her eyes.
I couldn’t look at that and not want to comfort her, so I moved back to the chair. “Rest, Reagan. I’ll be here.”
Though I wasn’t looking at her, I could feel her gaze on me as I walked back over to the chair. Only after I sat down did she lay her head back on the pillow and roll onto her side. I wasn’t quite sure if she thought I’d fallen asleep or not, but fifteen minutes later, I could hear her crying into the pillow.
The sound of it broke my heart.
I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t. After everything she’d been through, I could only imagine how she was feeling.
So, I slipped off my shoes and pants, walked over to the bed, and climbed in. Then I wrapped my body around the back of hers and held her tight. She tensed for just a moment before breaking down into full-fledged sobs.
I held her for a long time, neither of us saying a word.
And when the crying subsided, I stayed with her in the silence.
“Hart?”
“Yeah?”
“I want to go home.”
My arms tightened around her. “I know you do. Try to get some sleep.”
It took her some time, but eventually, wrapped up in my arms, Reagan fell asleep.