Chapter 22 Oren #2
Sweat coated Thorne’s face, his brows pulled together in utter anguish as my father refused to pull back. Kicking his legs, his movement only served as added encouragement for my father to add another finger.
“You going to cry for me, Graves?” he chuckled, twisting his wrist. “Because I’ve missed the sound of your fracturing soul; sing for me like you used to. Or do I need to explore your past and leverage the things your father did to break you? The things you thought you could hide from me?”
Peeling his hand from Thorne’s face, the sounds that left the man I wanted nothing more than to save weren’t ones I’d prepared myself for.
Each of his breaths hitched, whimpers spilling from him just as easily as his blood had.
As his bottom lip quivered, tears slipped down his cheeks, each sob far more broken than the last.
“Oh, there he is,” my father crooned, a sinister smile coating his lips. “There’s the Thorne Graves I met all those years ago. I didn’t think you had it in you to cry anymore, to break, but it seems I was wrong.”
“P-P-Please… I-I can’t. I-I-I…”
“Come on, use your words, recruit.”
Shock. He was going into shock.
“General Valens,” I interjected, my voice firm. “If you want him to survive for more torment, I would suggest making your final point.” Was that good enough? Would it get him to stop?
He remained motionless for a minute before rocking back on his heels to push himself up.
“I believe I have made myself clear.” His hands brushed across his uniform as he came to stand, smoothing out any of the wrinkles.
“See to it that your men are coerced into servitude, because next time, Thorne Graves will not survive, and it would be a shame to lose an asset like him.”
“Yes, General.” I bit the inside of my cheek hard to keep my hands from wrapping around his neck.
I wanted to watch the blood drain from him slowly, to torture him up to death, and then refuse to let it take him.
Over and over. I wanted to repeat it until he begged for mercy, knowing none would be found.
“I have far more pertinent matters to attend to than this pathetic display of obedience.” His gaze swept from Thorne to Matthew and Liam. “I will see you tonight for our debrief on how the rest of the day went. I expect good news, Commander.”
Dipping my head in a nod, I refused to look at Thorne until he was gone. Any crack, any break would lead him on. I must have been convincing enough, because he pivoted, and without looking back, left us there.
I didn’t move until I was sure he was gone, not even taking a breath because I feared dropping the mask early would doom us all.
A weak groan from Thorne finally pulled me from staring at the door, that wall crumbling faster than it took to build.
I dropped to my knees, twisting him over to look at the wounds.
There were so many and the blood, his blood coated everything.
My hands, shirt, pants, the floor I’d forced him into on multiple occasions. “Thorne.” A weak whisper.
Through a shuddered breath and whimper, he slowly turned his head. “O-O-Oren…”
“Get the fuck away from him!” Matthew screamed, his footsteps closing in with every intent to kick me away from the man I needed to hold. “You fucking piece of shit! You’ve done enough damage!”
I pulled Thorne tighter, refusing to let them touch him when it was my fault he looked like this. “Get a medic here quickly. One you trust won’t report anything he sees back to my father.” The commands came quickly, my eyes never leaving the fading honey of my love’s.
Matthew stopped abruptly, shock in his voice. “Oren?”
“O-Oren?” Liam repeated, as if he wasn’t sure what was real or fake. “Is that… Is that you?”
“Get a goddamn medic, please!” I snapped my head to them, tears I’d had to hide flowing freely. “Can’t you see he’s bleeding out? I’ll… I’ll explain everything later, but please, dammit, please.”
“Yes, sir,” Matthew responded, quick to grab Liam as the two rushed out.
A hand fell on my cheek, drawing my attention from where they departed, part of me too fearful to look away in case my father had been watching. Thorne’s rasped breath followed, his thumb weakly stroking across my skin.
“Y-You know…” he started, the physical and emotional pain tangible as he tried to speak. “I-I’ve always dreamed of…being held by you…l-like this.”
“S-Stop talking. Shit, Thorne…” My hand wrapped around his, cradling it to my cheek. “I should be on this floor, not you. Never you.”
“N-Not…true.” He chuckled, blood spurting from between his lips. “It’s about t-t-time my demons caught up with me… I’ve been… I’ve been running from them for too long…”
“Not true. Not true,” I emphasized. I settled to the ground, not caring if his blood soaked through my clothes. What was taking Liam and Matthew so goddamn long? “Just… just stay quiet, okay? You focus on me.” I tucked him further into me, the shaking of my arms uncontrollable.
Unable to listen to me, as always, he kept talking.
“W-When…that bomb w-went off in Venezuela… I thought I-I was dead, thought we were all dead… And still s-somehow… You were the o-only thing on m-my mind… E-Even though you h-hated me for what I’d d-done…
” A wheeze. “And I d-don’t regret it… Y-You know, my decision?
I-I’m glad y-you stayed here, so you didn’t… so you didn’t see…”
His lids fluttered, his chest falling and rising far too slowly. Sinking into my arms, he weakly shook his head, clearly struggling to keep himself conscious.
“I-I…” A death rattle rocked his frame. “I just…want to t-thank you for giving me…time… For letting me s-s-see your beauty, and for granting me t-the privilege of l-loving—”
I cut him off, refusing to let him keep uttering words I knew by heart.
“Stop it. You’re going to be fine, because I won’t let death take you.
Not after… not after I finally got you, understood the real you.
” I shook my head, a bitter cry escaping my lips.
“You promised to stay with me. How can you love me if you leave?”
He looked up at me, the life in his eyes no longer there, and still, somehow, he gifted me a genuine smile showcasing his dimples. “I-I’m sorry, d-dove… I hope… I hope you can… f-forgive…”
Every word faded into a softness as his breath stilled, his head dropping against my chest. His gaze looked past me, no longer harboring the love or the playfulness I’d seen in it before…before he…
“Thorne?” I wasn’t even sure I said his name aloud.
My hands shook him gently, but he didn’t answer. “No. No, no, no, no, no.”
Reason was beyond my capabilities as a guttural scream tore my lips. “Matthew! Liam!”
I clutched Thorne tighter, fighting against the slickness of his blood. “I won’t let you,” I sobbed. “I can’t… I can’t do this without you so you come back. Right now.”
“Over here!” The voice was distant, almost as if I were underwater, but I knew it was Matthew.
Footsteps drummed; their arrival was something I wanted, yet I couldn’t let go as they worked to pry me from Thorne. Hands closed around my shoulders, pulling me from his lifeless frame, and the mere thought of having him taken away from me sent me into a spiral.
“Let me go! Let. Me. Go!” I roared, fighting against multiple sets of hands holding me back.
“Oren! Oren!” The scream shredded through my opposition, Liam clutching my shoulders. “You need to let him go, Oren. They can’t help him, can’t save him here.”
“N-No. My fault… my fault.” I couldn’t even form coherent sentences as I stared at the only man I’d ever loved. At the only man I would ever love, and I never told him. Never told him how much I did.
“It’s not…” Liam whispered, shaking his head. “It’s not your fault, Oren. T-They’ll save him. If they can save Simon, they can save Thorne.”
“B-But what i-if they can’t? I can’t… I can’t lose him, Liam.”
I couldn’t. No part of myself would ever be able to move on if he didn’t survive.
Without him, I was useless. There was nothing worth living for if he wasn’t at my side.
The thought should have frightened me, how dependent I’d become on a person, but I didn’t care.
I just knew that I needed him… and some part knew he needed me too.
Arms wrapped around me, and Liam pulled me in for a hug. “You won’t lose him, Oren. Don’t you know how stubborn Thorne Graves is?”
I slackened in his arms, a bitter sob escaping. I’d allowed my father to inflict pain on him. How had I fallen so far that this ever became an option? How… how had I ever been able to listen to my father?
He was a liar, a pathetic man who needed fear to continue his reign. What he didn’t realize was that fear invoked a fake devotion, while love permitted the real thing. What he’d done today only solidified my plan to kill him.
I didn’t know how I would do it, but my father, General Valens, would die by my hands.
Tears continued to fall as Liam held me. Whether Thorne Graves lived or died, I would seek revenge for him and for my friends who’d dealt with the stain of my family for far too long.
I wasn’t weak anymore. I could hold my ground, and I would do just that, even if right now showing an ounce of strength was the last thing on my mind.
But for Thorne Graves? For him I would do anything.
I stood in my father’s office, Thorne’s blood still staining my uniform; stains I hoped wouldn’t give my devotion away. Instead, I hoped to show him how solidified I was in my role, coating myself in the crimson of the man I loved.
Standing at attention, I waited for him to finish whatever he always did at his damn desk, not an ounce of weakness showing on my face despite not knowing if Thorne was okay or not.
I wasn’t sure how long I stood outside Thorne’s room in the medical wing until I knew I needed to report back here, to the very man I wanted to destroy.
“So?” My father’s nonchalance carved through my senses like a serrated blade. “What do you have to say for yourself, Oren?”
“I was able to maintain order of the rest of the squad after that display with their former commander. They completed their training without question while Graves bled on the sidelines. I did call for a medic, but he might not have survived. That pathetic light was already gone from his eyes.”
I hated myself. Hated I had to resort to grotesque lies to fulfill this sick fuck’s ego.
“Lovely,” he hummed, finally setting down the stack of papers he’d been sorting through.
“I am glad to see that your emotional attachments to Thorne Graves have ceased. But, be warned, at the next sign of disobedience from any of your squad members, I will drag him into the interrogation room you murdered Lucas in and have you do the same to your battered recruit. Do you understand?”
I scoffed. “That won’t be a problem. If any of my squad members harbor any complaints, I will swiftly bring him here to end it. You have my word.” Like fuck he did.
“Good.” Something lingered in his tone, as if he still wasn’t thoroughly convinced by my guise. “Anything else you wish to report, Commander?”
“No, General.”
“Then you’re dismissed.”
With a curt dip of my chin, I turned on my heels, my mask dropping slightly as I headed for the door. If I never had to come here again and see him, that would be fucking heaven, but I’d made my bed in hell and would have to see it through until the end.
Right now, the only thing on my mind was if he was alive. I couldn’t visit him because someone would see me, risking my father’s doubts further, but going back to my room was the last thing I wanted to do.
I decided to head to the gym, to plunge myself into that routine to keep my mind from spiraling. It was all I had for now, even if it was the last thing I wanted to do.