CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
SELF-IMPRTANT, PRICKISH, STUBBORN MALES.
I watch for a moment as Talyn spins away from me and heads deeper into Aemon’s home.
That was not how I thought that would go.
I thought he would at least be excited to see me, considering he thought I was dead for years.
Considering I’m his… mate. A fact that I have been avoiding with the others since that night at the inn with Aemon.
I’ve decided to throw myself into training instead of worrying about all this ‘mate’ business. I haven’t even told Ember and Mel yet, but I know they suspect something is up.
My body droops with exhaustion the moment he’s out of sight.
I haven’t been sleeping because if Aemon decides to track me down in my dreams to talk, I’m not sure I have the strength to kick him out.
I just need to think, to get my head on straight, because every time I’m around these males, these beautiful, mouth-watering males that I grew up with, my mind drifts to the moments I’ve had alone with them and I can’t think straight.
Nero comes soaring in through one of the windows and lands on my shoulder. “Damn it, I missed all the fun didn’t I?”
Aemon places a tentative hand on my shoulder and I stiffen. “Ravina, I think we should speak about what happened.”
I move away, looking each male in the eye, including Killian who I notice watching me from down the hall.
He’s always close, but never close enough that I want to flee.
Maybe I’m being ridiculous but sometimes a female needs some space when she gets all her memories back, realizing that her whole idea of what her parents wanted was wrong.
That the males who were assholes to her are actually her long-lost friends who thought she was dead and—oh right, they’re all her fated mates.
Not to mention the ‘trying to control her body when all it wants to do is climb each of them like a tree’. No. I need some time.
“Not yet. Just give me some space.”
Aemon takes a step towards me. “You need to train. Sure, you’ve been doing what you can, but we can show you so much more.
Have you even been practicing what you and Nero can do?
What about flight maneuvers with Vasari or formation with us or your friends?
Not to mention weapons training.” He takes another step closer and my thoughts race back to when he did this on the beach before that night at the inn.
His shadows explode from the darkened corners and wrap around us.
I vaguely hear Jesper yell, “This isn’t fair, Aemon!” It sounds muffled or distant, even though I know he’s not even two feet away.
“I’ve been letting you avoid me since we got back.
Trying to, anyway, with the non-existent patience I have,” he murmurs.
His shadows wrap around me, keeping me in place.
“If you can get free of my grip in ten minutes, I’ll leave you alone until you’re ready.
But if you can’t,” his breath whispers across my lips, “you stop avoiding us and you train with us, but we won’t push you for more until you’re ready. ”
My breaths are coming in heavy as I try to sink into the void-like magick in my chest searching for the strand that is my Skuggi magick. But with every flick of a tendril across my body, that magick seems just out of reach.
I don’t know how long I stand there with him, as he does nothing but hold me in place, teasing me, but I refuse to give up.
“Time’s up. I’ll see you in the training yard tomorrow.
It’s time we start working on your shadows.
I want you practicing with Nero when you’re not with us, and in the air with Vasari when you’re not doing that.
If you want to be a warrior queen, then you’re going to train like one.
And Ravina? Get some sleep. I promise I won’t invade your dreams unless you call for me. ”
His lips brush mine and I suck in a breath before he and the shadows vanish, leaving me gasping and staring at the others.
Before they can say a word I spin and dart down the hall.
I need to talk to Mel and Ember. Maybe they can give me some advice on how to deal with these males…
Maybe Lennox and Roz too… They’re males.
They would know how their brains work… Right?
“FUCK THAT'S HOT,” Melissandre mumbles as she fans herself.
I run my hands down my face. “That’s not the point of this conversation,” I grumble back, even though she’s not wrong. I may not enjoy their growly, possessive, overbearingness outside of the few intimate moments we had, but just thinking about how Aemon takes charge has me weak in the knees.
“I need help coming up with some ideas to keep them at arm’s length until I can get my thoughts together without… you know…”
“Wanting them to bend you over the nearest furniture and fuck you until you can hear colors?” Roz adds unhelpfully, smirking.
Lennox smacks him upside the head. “Painting pictures like that probably isn’t helping with the bond. It’s going to want to pull them together.” He turns to face me. “Maybe set boundaries with them?” he adds. “They clearly aren’t going to leave you alone… Well Jesper and Aemon won’t.”
I’ve updated them on everything. Mel is completely over the moon that fated mates are becoming a thing again.
For now it’s only me, but she’s taking it as a good omen.
Since the true heir of Damorleia has been bestowed mates by the fates, they hope that maybe the rest of the citizens will be too.
Ember has been mostly quiet but she’s been listening to everything intently.
“My ma used to tell me and Mel stories about fated mates, passed down through the generations,” Lennox continues.
“I know it’s not really spoken of much anymore so I’m not sure how much you know, and I’m not sure how accurate the stories are, but if you have any questions, we can probably answer them. ”
Melissandre nods her head eagerly. “It’s so romantic.
The fates gifting fae mates, true parts of their souls, destined to find each other in every life.
And when joined, they say it’s as if their spirits are whole again.
” She gets a dreamy faraway look in her eye as she cups her own cheeks and sighs.
I glance at Nero who shrugs his midnight wings. “The only thing I remember about fated mates was what I read in that book when I was researching stuff for Nero’s and my bond. Basically it’s like a familiar bond but more.”
Mel practically knocks Roz out of the way, who falls into Ember, eliciting a string of curses from the latter.
She grabs my hands. “Oh, it’s so much more.
They say that once you’re joined, you can share power wells!
You become so much stronger than when you were unbonded.
Mates can communicate with a single thought and find each other anywhere in the realm.
You will never be alone again. Mates treasure their centers and they’re protected and worshiped. ”
“So we were told,” Lennox reminds her softly.
She nods, letting go of my hands and settling back down on her spot on the floor.
“Right, they never mentioned anything about mate marks.” She gestures to the side of my stomach that holds the elegant yet imposing marking that ties me to these males.
“If it is one, it doesn’t explain why it’s faded though. ”
Nero hops down off my shoulder and waddles over to Roz who’s holding a handful of nuts and dried berries for him. “Maybe it’s not completed yet.”
I cock my head to the side as memories from that night with Aemon burst to the forefront of my mind and I gasp.
As quickly as I can with my face turning redder each moment I relay what he told me, about sex completing the bond.
It has my chest warming that he had me right where he could have tied us together forever but didn’t.
Why am I trying so hard to keep them away? “It’s inevitable right? The bonds? There’s no way of rejecting them?”
Mel gasps, her hands flying to her mouth and chest. “There’s no way to reject what the fates have gifted you. I suspect if you even tried there would be dire consequences. But as far as I know it’s not something to be done. It would destroy a part of you.”
She’s right. Even the thought of severing whatever this is between us makes something inside me wither.
Even my connection with Talyn, who seems to just be a pompous jerk.
At least I know he’ll be giving me space right now.
It bugs me though—he never used to be so sour, and it hurts the fledgling in me to see him become so.
I wonder what happened to make him like that?
A sigh escapes me. “Okay, so I just need to talk with them and tell them I’m not ready to cement anything while I adjust to… well—everything.”
Roz jumps up with a maniacal grin on his face like he’s figured out the key to bring a plot together. “There might be more information on bonds at the Royal Library in the castle. I heard that anything worth knowing could be found within those walls.”
My flesh feels like it turns to ice at the mention of my old home. “If it’s not burned down,” I mutter looking away. But the idea of knowing more about what this is between me and the males I grew up with, who stare at me like I’m prey and want to eat me, intrigues me.
Nero finishes eating from Roz’s palm and hops back over in front of me. “I give you a week before you give in. Just remember, you say the word and if they touch you without you wanting it, I get their eyeballs.”
Genuine laughter erupts from me. Sometimes a few hours talking things over with friends and a bit of homicidal thinking from your familiar is all you need to get your head screwed on a little straighter.