CHAPTER EIGHTEEN #2
I GRIP VASARI'S saddle tightly and flex my legs to hold onto her large form. The new saddle fits us so much better but I’m still struggling with staying on during the more advanced maneuvers.
Roz and his blue dragon Thornwing glide up to me on my left, while Mel and Lennox soar up to me on my other side on top of Skylark and Zephyr, their gryphons.
We’re spending the afternoon flying while Ember stays behind to work on her combat training.
I think she feels left out not having bonded to a creature.
Her trials were to join the berserkers, fierce warriors who deal a massive amount of damage in short periods of time.
Maybe I should talk to her and make sure she’s okay…
“The young warrior is fine,” Vasari adds, interrupting my thoughts. “You should be focusing on staying on my back instead of letting your thoughts wander like a rodent who sees a shiny thing in the distance,” she snaps.
Her wings flap once more then tuck in, but that’s the only warning I get before she dives and spirals, the others following suit.
My cheeks flap, exposing all my teeth as the wind begins to be too much and I feel my grip slipping.
I hold on with everything I have in me, but my legs let go and my hands follow not long after.
A silent scream erupts from my throat as the wind steals my voice.
A clawed paw wraps around me moments later and I’m thrown back onto Vasari’s back, catching my breath. I glance over at Roz and notice him laughing while hanging out in Thornwing’s claw. At least I wasn’t the only one to fail that time.
Mel and Lennox seem to have stayed on though. Apparently it’s easier to stay on top of a gryphon than it is a dragon.
“Well, obviously. Those things are about as useless as your feathered rat,” Vasari snorts. “Again.”
We go again and again until my muscles can’t take it any longer.
On the bright side, the last couple tries I managed to stay on, but that only means Vasari will try something even more difficult tomorrow.
My body is bruised and hurting and all I want is a hot bath, a warm plate of dinner and my bed. Nothing sounds more amazing than that.
I dismount Vasari outside the Keep and watch as she goes and joins her mates within.
She seems less crabby since Talyn’s dragon Zaddro has joined us, I think ruefully.
You’d think I’d feel better about the rider being here, but he’s been making himself scarce and based on his behaviour towards me so far, I am glad about that. Sort of.
Nero soars over to me and I can’t help the smile that graces my lips. “How was hunting?” I ask as he perches on his favorite spot on my shoulder.
“I found some dead hares, and practiced some eyeball removal techniques on them before devouring their innards. It was a very productive afternoon. How was falling off the flying lizard?”
“You know if you keep calling her that, she’s going to roast you, right?” I’m blatantly ignoring his comment about falling—he knows it’s an ongoing issue and it’s not going to change overnight.
He shrugs, completely unbothered.
I turn the corner and bump into a wall. “Watch where you’re going,” the wall hisses.
My head jerks back and I see none other than my elusive ‘mate’ Talyn. “Maybe it’s you who should be watching where you’re going. It takes two to bump into each other, you know.”
His perfect features sneer down at me but he doesn’t say anything.
Instead he clenches his fist and storms off without another word.
I have no idea what I did to make him hate me so much, but this attitude is getting on my last nerves.
I know I haven’t been perfect and I’ve been moody and withdrawn, but he takes it to a whole other level.
“Oh, Little Mouse,” Jesper whispers as he approaches behind me, watching me watch Talyn’s retreating back. “He’ll come around. You know how he can be.”
“He never used to be like this with me though.” I turn to face him and sigh. “Can we talk? There’s some things I want to apologize for.”
He smirks. “You never have to apologize for anything, but of course, lead the way. I could spend every day in your presence and never be bored. So, if I get to be alone with you for whatever this is, you don’t even need to ask. Just yell and I’ll be right there. Always.”
My face heats and I mumble, “Okay, um, this way.”
He keeps pace at my side and his presence soothes me, and with Nero giving me small doses of his own healing magick, my body is starting to feel slightly better.
“Maybe you should go see if the kitchen staff has anything for you to snack on,” I tell Nero.
I want to be able to have this conversation without the unhinged commentary from my feathered friend.
He sighs. “Sent away again,” he says dramatically before taking flight down the hall. “I wonder if they have any gizzards…”
I walk until we reach the library. I considered my room, but with the bed there, I didn’t want to tempt fate, especially because just being around him makes my body come alive.
Thankfully, it’s empty and I move over to the fireplace and take a seat in one of the cushioned chairs while Jesper settles in the one next to me.
After a moment of silence, knowing that he’s watching every move I make while I gather my thoughts, I speak.
“I want to apologize for pushing you away and from running when you dropped the mate bomb on me. I was just coming to terms with getting my memories back and discovering everything I knew was a lie. Having you four ripped from me. Remembering my parents and how they’re now dead…
But I shouldn’t have run. I’m going to apologize to the others too.
I didn’t mean to worry anyone. It’s just that you four males were my best friends.
Almost every core moment I had was with you and the others, and you think I would be overjoyed that fate picked us to be together.
But I’m not going to lie, I’m scared because I’m not sure exactly what it means.
Without this bond between us, would I even feel the way I do for you all?
” My voice dies out as anguish overtakes me.
Not to mention I’m still frustrated with Aemon for ignoring me when we got here, and don’t even get me started on Talyn.
As for Killian… Ugh, everything is a mess.
With a grace I could only wish for, Jesper swiftly gets off the chair and crouches in front of me, forcing me to look at him.
“I was intrigued by you before this bond snapped into place. I couldn’t stay away, following you whenever I could sneak away.
There is no doubt that this bond only enhances the feelings I already had.
Otherwise, what was the point of me following you every chance I got?
Before I even realized that you were my Maeven—” He holds his hand up to stop me from interrupting him about that name.
“I know you don’t use it anymore, but that’s who you were to us for twenty-seven years.
There’s no one else for me, whether you realize it or not. The fates aren’t wrong.”
He leans in closer and I put my hand on his shoulder to stop his advance. “Wait. You were following me?”
His grin widens. “Every chance I got. Ever since I couldn’t get past your mental wall, I was obsessed.
I am obsessed. When I couldn’t find you, I’d lie in your bed.
Your nightly adventures? You were never alone.
I’m always only a call away from you because I can’t settle unless you’re in my sights.
You were taken from me once. Never again will I let that happen,” he states with a reverence that should make me want to run for the hills but instead makes me feel all warm and gooey inside.
“That’s really fucking creepy,” I whisper evenly, my eyes wide as I stare at him.
He runs a finger down the side of my face. “Well, then I’m creepy for you. What can I say, you make me do crazy things. I’d face down a hundred ogres for you.”
“You better not do something as stupid as that!”
A warm laugh bursts from his chest. “You forget, Little Mouse. I’m a dragon rider and one of the most talented Szellemi fae there is in this realm. There’s not much that could stop me, or any of the others.”
I blink, taking in his powerful form, and the realization finally sinks in that these males aren’t the fledglings I’ve grown up with that I used to have tea parties with and who played riders with me.
They are seasoned warriors, males who have fought in battles.
A part of me senses the danger, and the other part wants to pull him in and see just how dangerous he can be.
My throat works as I swallow. “I’m not ready to cement this bond yet. I need to get to know you again. All of you.”
He dips his head in acknowledgement. “As long as you don’t stop me from kissing you.” He moves from a crouch to his knees. “As long as you don’t stop me from tasting you and hearing those pretty sounds you make when you come.”
I huff out a small laugh and whisper. “You’re crazy.”
“You already knew that though.” He leans in closer, daring me to stop him. I know that if I said stop, he would, but I don’t think I have the strength not to give into his kisses, to the feel of his warm, calloused hands on me.
Taking control of the situation, I close the distance between us and our lips clash in a fury of understanding.
He scoops me up and stands, spinning to sit down where I just was with me in his lap.
“There wasn’t a day that went by in all those years that I didn’t think of you.
I never thought I would have this moment.
So whatever you’re willing to give me, I’ll take. Even your scraps. I just want you.”
It’s at that moment I come to the conclusion that maybe Nero will win this bet. I’m not sure that I’ll be able to hold off, but I think I should try to make sure all five of us are on the same page.
With a shaky breath, I kiss him once more, softer than the all-consuming one we just shared. “Let me talk with the others first, but I won’t stop your affections. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.”
He cups my face and nips my nose. “You do what you need to. Plus, I don’t think I’m the only one slinking in the shadows right now. Isn’t that right, Aemon?” he calls out with a mischievous grin, his gaze never leaving mine.
I sense movement from behind me before Aemon appears out of his wispy tendrils, tendrils that have me clenching my legs before they blend back into the darkness. His snowy scent permeates the air with hints of a warm chocolate drink.
“Jesper, I think you should let our mate go to bed. This conversation can be finished tomorrow.” His gaze turns on me and it’s filled with heated promises and I know he’s been watching this whole exchange with Jesper.
“Captain Batsil will be arriving here tomorrow to take over your Elemi training since Talyn is indisposed. Come, I’ll walk you to your room. ”
He holds his hand out and I just know if I don’t take it, he’ll whisk me away in his shadows. Overbearing mother hen. So instead I lean down and kiss Jesp one last time. “Goodnight,” I mumble against his lips.
He pushes into my mind and I let him. The feeling is still so foreign and not as smooth as it is with my bonds. “I’ll be watching. If you want me to join you, roll down the blankets on the other side of your bed.”
Before I can respond, I hear a sigh and then the world erupts in darkness, with Aemon’s strong grip wrapped around my waist. “You do like to push my limits, don’t you?”
“You wouldn’t like it if I didn’t,” I respond boldly.
His chuckle is dark and it’s the last thing I hear before the ground disappears below my feet and I drop unceremoniously onto my bed. “You’re a shithead, Aemon! I’ll get you back for that!”
I swear I hear his laughter from the shadows of my room, but he does not deign to respond.
I try to blow a loose strand of hair out of my face before pushing it back with my fingers, glancing at my neatly made bed.
I think about what Jesper said, but I’m not ready to take that jump yet, so I crack the window so Nero can come back in and get ready for bed.
After all, I apparently have an early morning.
Wait. Did he say Captain Batsil? My instructor for my Elemi lesson?