CHAPTER 6 KAYLEE
I’m well enough to go to school on Tuesday. I field questions like a pro, and I crash into bed pretty much right after dinner, leaving little time for Ben and me to chat.
Maybe my body’s doing it to me on purpose. Maybe I don’t want to revisit the things we said last night in my old bedroom at Jack’s house.
Remain true to what you both want out of this and out of your futures.
Calvin’s words have rattled around in my foggy brain since he said them, and they don’t go away on Wednesday or Thursday, either, as my students take their final exams. I keep going to bed shortly after dinner, citing the concussion as my reason for extra rest. Truth be told, I’m starting to feel like my old self again… just more tired than usual.
Friday is upon me, and it’s the last day of school. Each day this week, I’ve taken a few things home with me or given stuff away, and my classroom is pretty much completely cleaned out.
I’m not sad about school ending or the end of a career I never really wanted for myself, but I let everyone think that’s why I seem to be in a bit of a funk.
The truth is that I’m sad about the talk Ben and I had on Monday night at Jack’s house.
I’m sad that I’ve fallen in love with somebody who loves me, too, and that neither of us can get past the picture we had for our own futures—that we can’t find some way to build a future together.
I turn twenty-three tomorrow, and I feel like I’ve gone backward instead of forward.
My living situation is temporary.
My job situation is temporary.
My entire life feels like it’s on hold while I figure out where I belong, and the only time I ever feel like I’m in the exact right place is when I’m in Ben’s arms.
And that means something.
But can I really give up the things I’ve wanted my entire life for that feeling? Or will I always feel like something’s missing—or worse, will I start to resent him because he is unwilling to give me what I want?
It’s not like we’re talking about a new car here. Kids change lives, and if that’s not something he wants, then the only one who can give in on it so we can be together is me.
My students leave after their final half-day. The faculty gathers for a luncheon where the teachers who are leaving are recognized.
And that’s it.
I drive away from the school for the last time.
It’s freeing to leave behind a position I never liked even though it gave me a purpose. My purpose now is to raise money for charity and design the kids’ program at Ben’s gym, something I’ll have time to work on now that school is over. Something that’ll draw me closer and closer to Ben.
Will we still be in each other’s lives at the end of our fake relationship?
I guess time will tell, but I feel like he’s weaving me into the fabric of his life by inviting me to be a part of his gym—the very place he wants to spend his time once he retires from football.
He must just be stronger than I am.
When I get home, I find an empty house with a note on the counter.
A car is swinging by to pick you up at nine, so take a nap if you need to. We are celebrating your last day of school in style.
I can’t help my smile at what he’s doing.
It’s just so like him to plan a celebration for any reason at all, but it warms my entire chest that he’s doing something special for me.
Maybe he’s right. I’ve been in my head a lot over the last few days as I’ve been so focused on the end that I forgot to enjoy the journey. And that’s the most important part.
So there might be an end date. Maybe something will change and there won’t be. There’s always that possibility, and as I stare down at his handwriting inviting me to a party he’s throwing for me, something finally switches in my head.
And it’s the exact change I’ve been looking for.
It doesn’t matter.
My biggest fear isn’t losing him, especially since I know that’s an imminent possibility.
My biggest fears are being cast into the role of the Dalton brothers’ little sister for the rest of my life, not getting everything I want out of life because I’m lost in the shadows and unable to speak my voice, and not coming first in my own relationships because I’m being used for my brothers.
Ben doesn’t do any of that, and I think that’s a huge part of why I like being around him.
Even if we aren’t romantically linked, we can still carry on a friendship as I create a program for his gym. We can still find ways to raise money for charity together.
And just shifting my mindset a little bit to acknowledge that is the exact change I needed.
I run upstairs to take a nap, and I find a rack of garment bags in Ben’s bedroom with a note on the bed.
Choose whatever you want to wear tonight. You’ll look hot in any of them, but make sure to pick the one you think has the easiest access if we find a dark corner or the one that’ll look best on the floor once I get you home.
An ache pulses between my legs at the words he penned.
What he’s doing for me combined with the mindset shift is exactly what I needed tonight.
I am back to being all in for as long as I can be with him.
There’s no sense in being so scared about what the future holds that I forget to enjoy the present. And tonight…I’m going to enjoy the fuck out of the present.
I take a quick nap, eat a sandwich when I wake up, and start getting ready. The whole time, I’m wondering where Ben is and what he’s doing. I’m wondering what he’s got planned for me.
I choose a bronze glitter minidress with a plunging neckline and an open back. It’s stretchy enough to be comfortable and short enough to allow Ben to do whatever he wants…whatever I want him to do.
Which is everything.
After the last few days of awkwardness between the two of us that’s been entirely caused by me, I’m ready to get back to where we were before.
My new goal is to have as much fun with him as I can in whatever time we have together.
Even if it somehow doesn’t come to an end when our contracted time together is up, there are zero guarantees about how long we’ll make it.
Life is short, and we have to take advantage of the time we have. No matter what, we aren’t promised tomorrow.
I learned that lesson when I lost my dad completely out of the blue to a brain aneurysm, and it took Ben’s note today to remind me that I’m living in fear of the future rather than in the here and now.
All that changes right this second.
As promised, a car pulls up out front at nine o’clock.
I hop in once I confirm the driver was sent by Ben, and we navigate toward the Strip.
Except we pull off on Flamingo Road and head toward some different hotels.
The driver pulls in front of one, and it’s bustling with people.
It’s a Friday night in Vegas, so of course it is.
The door opens. “Kaylee Dalton?” a man in a suit asks, and I nod.
“Right this way.” He holds out a hand for me to help me out of the car, and I take it. I have no idea where we’re going, but my heart thunders in my chest with anticipation.
We take an elevator up…and up…and up to the top floor, and we exit into a bar. We walk around a sign proclaiming Private Party near a staircase at one end of the bar, and we climb even higher toward the rooftop.
When my handler opens the door to the rooftop, a huge group of people yells, “Surprise!”
I jump back with a gasp, startled by all the familiar faces here.
My entire family, of course, without my nephews, along with Jeb Olson.
Ashley and a few other girls I befriended at work.
Sarah, Maddie, Meg, and Alyssa, my girl squad from school back in Michigan.
All sorts of players from the Aces along with their dates.
I spot Ben grinning at the front of the pack, and he steps toward me. He takes my hands in his and plants a kiss on my mouth…yes, in front of my family, but also in front of all these other people who really only know the story we’re telling the media.
“Happy last day of school,” Ben murmurs softly into my ear.
“You did this for me?” I ask, my eyes shining.
He pulls back and smiles, and then he raises both brows slyly. “Just wait.”
I don’t know what surprises he has in store for tonight, but I am here for it.