CHAPTER 24 DANNY
I bang on the door, and my mom opens it a minute later.
I practically fall into her arms.
I just saw her for Thanksgiving less than ten days ago, but it feels like a lifetime has passed since then.
I won’t tell her about what my father has been doing to me since I last saw her. She’s been through enough hell at the hands of that man. She doesn’t need to take on the guilt I know she would take on if I admitted he recorded me having sex without my consent, and now he’s using it to blackmail me.
“Whoa, Danny boy. You okay?” she asks, squeezing me tightly to her.
I let out a heavy sigh.
“Missing your girl already?” she asks knowingly as if that’s the answer here. It’s definitely part of it, but it’s not the entire picture.
“I am,” I say. I pull back out of her warm embrace and follow her inside.
“No bags?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I got a hotel in Long Beach. Figured the boys might want to go swimming and then I’d be out of your hair here.”
“And also then maybe Alexis could swing down for a visit?” she guesses.
“There’s always that possibility, though her father keeps her on a pretty tight leash. He’s in the hospital right now, and she’s marrying Brooks in less than two weeks, and it’s…complicated.”
“He’s in the hospital?” she asks.
I nod. “He’s likely getting released today. He’ll be okay. Something with fluid in his lungs, and then he didn’t finish out his medication.”
She purses her lips and shakes her head. “I don’t know him very well, but he sounds as stubborn as a donkey.”
“I think the phrase is stubborn as a mule,” I say dryly.
“Aren’t they the same thing?” she asks. “A mule and a donkey, I mean.”
I shake my head. “No. A mule is part-horse, part-donkey. A donkey is donkey-donkey.”
“Ba-donkey donkey?” Leo asks, sauntering into the room.
“Hey, Leo,” I say, grabbing my nephew into a hug as I lift him off his feet. He giggles, and I set him back down. He scampers out of the room, and my mom leans into me and lowers her voice.
“Either way, both donkeys and mules are a couple of asses,” she jokes with the oldest, cheesiest joke in the books when it comes to donkeys and mules.
“How long have you been holding onto that one?” I ask.
“How’d you get to know so much about donkeys and mules?” she counters.
I shrug. “I thought it was common knowledge.”
“Well it’s not, and I’m not sure yet if Alexis’s father is a donkey or a mule,” she says, pursing her lips.
“Or just an ass,” I mutter just as Lucas walks into the room.
“You said a bad word!” he yells at me, and I laugh.
“I say lots of them, but you definitely shouldn’t,” I tell him as I muss up his hair. He moves his head out of my reach and runs out of the room, too.
It already feels good being here, and I just walked in the door.
My mom treats me to some of the Kool-Aid she made for the boys and makes me a snack of grapes and cheese. It really doesn’t feel so bad being here, getting taken care of by my mom.
I text Alexis after dinner when she takes the boys upstairs for their baths.
Me: Is your dad out yet?
Alexis: He was released this afternoon. Doing much better.
Me: Any chance you can get away? I’m visiting my mom at my sister’s place. Staying in Long Beach.
Her answer doesn’t come right away, and at first I assume it’s because she’s trying to figure out a way.
Disappointment lances through me when the response finally comes.
Alexis: I wish I could. I’m sorry.
Me: I wish you could, too, but I understand.
And that’s where we leave it.
It feels like a wedge settling between us, and I hate it.
It’s not going to get any easier once she marries Brooks. There will be so much more at stake when it comes to making sure nobody finds out about us.
But the cat’s already out of the bag in terms of my inner circle. I trust everyone I’ve told, but then there’s my father…the one person who knows that neither of us told.
And he’s a loose cannon. I have no idea what his next move will be.
I have no reason to head back to the hotel yet since Alexis can’t get out to meet me, so I stay put on my sister’s couch. I wait for my mom as I watch sports highlights from today on ESPN, and when she comes back down, she sits beside me.
“You doing okay, DJ?” she asks.
“I’m doing as well as can be expected given the circumstances.” I let out a heavy sigh.
“I just saw the announcement. I figured that’s why you’ve been a little gloomy this evening.”
My brows dip. “What announcement?”
“About Alexis and the wedding.” She says it sort of like a question, and I still have no idea what she’s talking about.
Clearly the look on my face expresses that confusion.
“There was an official announcement that she’s marrying Brooks Donovan on December fifteenth at the San Ysidro Ranch.”
“Oh,” I say quietly.
I already knew all that, but I suppose the rest of the world didn’t.
“That’s ten days from tomorrow,” she says quietly.
“I know.”
“You’re sure it’s not real with him?” she asks.
“I’m sure it is real with me.”
“I’m proud of you, you know,” she says softly.
“For what?”
“For not running away from this. I can see how important this is to you, and I was worried the things that happened between your father and me when you were just a kid scared you off from wanting this for yourself,” she says.
“It did,” I admit. “But then I met the person I can’t live without.”
She reaches over and grabs my hand. “Then fight, Danny. Don’t let her marry someone else.”
“What choice do I have?”
She shrugs, and she rests her head on my shoulder. “I don’t know, honey. But I love her for you, and I hate seeing you like this. I don’t want you to run away scared because of the abandonment issues your father left you with.”
I clear my throat. “He said something to me once that I keep thinking about.” I don’t mention that it’s something he literally said to me a few days ago.
“What is it?” She straightens as she turns to listen with her brows drawn together.
“He said it was my fault our family broke up. He blamed me for ruining his life, for telling you. He said I didn’t know what really happened, that you felt like you had to support me and couldn’t stay with him because of what I discovered so you kicked him out. For me.”
She clenches her jaw at my words, and her eyes turn hard. “He really said that?”
I press my lips together and nod.
“He made my life hell, Danny. Don’t you believe for a second that I didn’t kick him out because of his own actions.
He made a fool of me. He ruined our family.
But you know what you did?” She takes my chin between her fingertips.
“You brave little boy, you gave us the truth. You gave us the family we deserved. You became the man of the house, and you grew up far sooner than you should’ve had to because he was a bad man.
Don’t you ever for a second think that you ruined a single thing.
I thank God every single day that you were brave enough to tell me what you saw even though you didn’t understand it. ”
“I knew it was wrong because of the way he reacted when I walked in. He told me not to tell you, but you raised me not to keep secrets. And now here I am…keeping a secret from the world. I’m a fucking hypocrite, Mom,” I say, and I feel the weight of my own words.
“It’s different,” she says.
“How? She’s with another man and I’m the other man. I’m no better than the woman I caught Dad on top of.”
She flinches at my words, and I flinch when I say them.
“She’s not married,” she points out. “There aren’t kids involved.
She openly admitted she doesn’t love him and she’s only marrying him for business reasons.
And you know what? I talked to her, Danny.
I trust her. I believe her. I would never, ever encourage you to be with her if I didn’t think she was being genuine with you. ”
I nod. “I know you wouldn’t.” We’re both quiet a beat, and I think about retreating into my fears. I think about walking away from Alexis. I think about a lot of things…but ultimately, I know I can’t.
I love her far too much to let her go.
And I think my mom may be right.
It’s time to fight.