Chapter 28 Tyler
The hallways of the resort blur together as I pace up and down them, roaming aimlessly.
I just need to move and breathe and think. Maybe I can calm myself. Maybe I can figure out how I don’t mess up and ruin everything.
Heat claws its way up my neck and through my face, my heart pounding restlessly. I can’t believe this is actually happening. Cassidy is pregnant, and I might be the father.
Even if I wasn’t the father, I would still feel somewhat responsible. We all slept with her on the same night. We all have an equal chance of being the father.
“Holy shit…” I breathe out, locking my hands behind my head as my chest grows tight.
I’m a businessman. A club promoter. I’ve been called a womanizer.
I’m supposed to be confident and calm, but I feel anything but right now. I’m falling apart in the middle of this hallway on whatever floor I’m on, and Cassidy is still probably freaking out in her suite.
I ditched her when I should be right beside her and the guys figuring things out. I’m already failing her.
My eyes squeeze shut for a second as a wave of guilt hits me. She probably thinks I don’t care about her or the baby.
That’s just not true, though.
I care a lot, and that makes the fear in my heart ten times stronger.
I don’t know how to be a good parent. I didn’t have a great role model of that growing up. My mom walked out when I was eight years old, and she never came back. My dad had to raise me by himself, and he worked multiple jobs to keep us afloat. I never saw him.
He kept a roof over my head and food in the fridge, but we didn’t have a relationship.
It felt like I grew up alone. Everyone else left or was never around.
So, I don’t know what a good parent looks like. Not personally. I don’t know how to handle the hard times or even the good times.
What if I hurt their feelings? What if I disappoint them? What if I nudge them down the wrong path and they don’t turn out to be good people?
I just know I’ll blame myself for everything. How would that make me a good co-parent for Cassidy? She’s already juggling enough as it is.
I slow down my rapid pace and glance around, realizing that I’m close to my suite. I shouldn’t be around anyone right now. Not until I get myself together.
I round the corner, but I don’t even take two steps before freezing at the sight of Sarah and Ryan in the middle of the hallway.
Sarah talks briskly to him, but I can’t make out what she’s saying. Whatever it is, it isn’t making Ryan very happy.
When she sees me, she tenses up, her eyes growing wide.
Ryan follows her gaze and immediately glares at me. “I can’t believe you.”
My stomach drops as he storms over to me.
Am I about to get punched in the face?
“Sarah overheard you talking to Cassidy. Maybe you should learn to close the door when you’re having a private conversation,” Ryan grits out as he stops barely a foot away from me. His anger rolls off him in waves.
Was the door to the suite open? I don’t remember. I wasn’t even paying attention.
Not that it matters now.
Word spread in a way that we didn’t even expect.
“Ryan…”
Ryan shakes his head roughly. “Just don’t! Cassidy is my only family. I’ve protected her since we were young, and I trusted you, Jackson, and Marcus to look after her in case I couldn’t. Imagine how I feel now that I’ve learned she’s pregnant by one of you three!”
If he does decide to punch me in the face right now, I deserve it.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, trying to piece my thoughts together to give him a better apology than that.
He deserves it.
“Sorry? That’s what you have to say to me?” Ryan questions me.
“Ryan, stop,” Sarah sighs, stress written all over her face.
Ryan ignores her, his furious eyes burning into me. “When did this happen? When did you go behind my back and do this?”
My mouth goes dry as I stand there staring at him, not knowing what I can say that’ll make this situation any better. He’s reacting just how I feared he would, and I’m still not prepared to handle it.
“Answer me!”
Quick, heavy footsteps sound behind me, and I turn just as Jackson and Marcus come around the corner.
“Oh, perfect timing. Now, the three of you can explain yourselves and tell me why you knocked up my sister,” Ryan bites out.
“Shit,” Jackson mutters under his breath.
Marcus holds his hands up like that has a chance of calming Ryan. “Let’s just talk about this.”
Marcus is typically good at keeping the peace, but I don’t think that even he can convince Ryan not to hate us for this.
“Yeah, let’s,” Ryan says as he clenches and unclenches his hands, his gaze sweeping across all of us. “You know how important Cassidy is to me. You know what I’ve gone through to protect her all these years.”
Jackson’s jaw tightens slightly. “We didn’t—”
“I’m not done,” Ryan grits out. “You guys are like my brothers. I trusted you to look after her, and I made it clear that I didn’t want any of you getting with her. She grew up with you guys. It’s not right.”
“I never saw her as a little sister,” Marcus tells him. “It’s not like that. It’s not some weird, twisted thing.”
That doesn’t make Ryan look any happier or relieved.
“And to learn that all three of you were with her…I feel so fucking betrayed by all of you,” Ryan says, his face slightly reddening. “You went behind my back. You lied to me. And what did I do to deserve that?”
Guilt churns within me, my eyes lowering to the ground. I don’t know what to say. I can’t defend what we did because we knew what we were doing.
We went behind his back. We lied. We did it again and again.
Now, Cassidy is pregnant, and there’s no leaving behind what we did and acting like it didn’t happen. That’s not an option anymore.
“I thought I could trust you, but I was obviously wrong. All of this just feels…wrong,” Ryan says, gesturing to us. “And since you were sneaking around, I think you all know that.”
Sarah gently takes his arm. “Let’s just take a breath right now, Ryan.”
Ryan shakes his head in disappointment and puts his back to us before letting Sarah lead him away from us.
Sarah glances over her shoulder at us. She doesn’t look angry like him, though. She looks guilty.
She’s the one who told him the truth, but I can’t even be mad at her. He’s about to be her husband. There are probably no secrets between them.
That’s how it should be.
No secrets. No lies. No sneaking around.
All that stuff does is hurt people in the end.
“Fuck,” Jackson says before storming into our suite.
Marcus and I follow him, the air feeling heavy around us. This is no longer a place of relaxation and paradise. It feels like hell.
“What do we do?” I ask them.
Jackson lets out a dry laugh as he digs around in the mini bar. “What do you mean? There’s nothing to do. It’s all fucked.”
Marcus sighs and sits down on the couch. “All hope isn’t lost. We can try to talk to Ryan again when he’s cooled off. He doesn’t know that we genuinely care about her. He just thinks…”
“He thinks we just see her as someone to have sex with,” I mutter, sinking down on the couch next to him. “No wonder he’s so pissed off. All he sees is betrayal and disrespect.”
“We’re guilty of it all,” Jackson says as he pours himself a drink. Straight whiskey. “We betrayed Ryan. We disrespected our relationship with him, his relationship with Cassidy, and our relationship with her. He asked us to look after her. Not let our desires get in the way.”
“Things are a little more complicated than that,” Marcus replies. “It’s not just about sex. It’s about…everything. What we have with her is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s trust and care and—”
“That’s not going to matter to him,” Jackson tells him. “We were never supposed to feel this way for her. He didn’t want that. We should’ve respected that.”
“We can’t help how we feel,” Marcus argues. “And she feels the same way. I’m sure she does.”
I drag my fingers through my hair as I lay back against the couch cushion, weight pressing down on my chest. We’re just going to keep going back and forth. I can’t see a light at the end of this tunnel.
It’s just darkness.
“It’s done, Marc. Ryan probably doesn’t want to see our faces again, and I don’t know if Cassidy will want to be anywhere near us if she and Ryan can’t work things out,” Jackson replies before downing half of his drink.
“She’s still pregnant with our kid,” I say, feeling that familiar flare of panic in my chest, but I breathe through it this time. There’s too much at stake for me to freak out again. “We’re all involved. We can’t run or turn our backs on her. It wouldn't be right.”
“Even if she wants nothing to do with us?” Jackson questions me as he walks closer to us. “If she says that she wants us out of her life, will you walk away then?”
“I’ll do whatever makes her happy,” Marcus replies. “But if the baby is mine, I couldn’t completely walk away. Not from being a parent.”
Jackson’s eyes shift to me. “And you? You had a damn panic attack when you heard the news. Are you cool with letting her raise the baby alone?”
There’s a part of me that wants to run far away from the responsibility of being a parent. I could go back to my life of business and clubs and parties, but I’d be stuck in the same cycle for years. Nothing would change.
But being with Cassidy has shown me that there could be so much more to my life than quick flings and temporary pleasures. They never leave me happy and satisfied.
Not like she does.
If I’m going to have a kid with anyone, it’ll be her.
“No,” I reply. “I’d want to be involved too.”
Surprise glints in Jackson’s eyes, but he doesn’t make a snide comment or give me a disbelieving look. He just turns around and heads back to the bar to refill his drink.
“It’ll be fine,” Marcus says to me. “Everyone just needs time to cool down. We’ll get through this.”
I want to believe him, but I can’t forget the look on Ryan’s face. The anger isn’t even what hits me the most.
It was the disappointment.
I don’t think he’s ever going to forgive us.