14. Diego
14
DIEGO
“ N ot on my watch.”
She blinked up at me. The need to argue was evident in her eyes, but she wouldn’t convince me. Not on this. No matter what she wanted to say.
To hear her say she’d rather be dead, especially so soon after I’d killed those two drugged-up trespassers to keep her and Ramon alive, enraged me. My anger didn’t escalate and rage at her. I was furious that she could have ever been forced to think that, to harbor such a dark and fatalist thought. To ever, for a single second, think that she had no worth or value as anything other than being Ramon’s mother.
“Not on my fucking watch,” I repeated, growling it as I rolled over her, pressing her back to the bed. She didn’t balk, staring up at me. I saw the heat in her eyes. It wasn’t one of lust right now, but indignation. Irritation.
“That won’t happen.”
She huffed, pushing at my chest weakly. “How would you know? You’ve been here for a little over a week and you think you have the authority to guess how my life will pan out?”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been here. I’m here now. And I’ll be damned if you’ll continue thinking like that. Like that’s the only ending that can happen.”
“Diego…” She shook her head and lowered her gaze.
I tipped her chin right back up. “No, Sofia. No one is taking Ramon while I am here. No one will hurt you.”
She narrowed her eyes, doubtful. “Because you say so?”
I mirrored her, narrowing my eyes right back and scowling. “Yeah. I do. Whatever the fuck I did in my life before I was knocked out gave me this power. I can’t explain how I could fight them as well as I did. I don’t know how to understand that it all just came to me, like muscle memory.”
I couldn’t go so far as to tell her that I feared I was a bad person before that night she encountered me in the alley. I didn’t want her to push me away after her open admission that she was determined to shelter and protect herself and Ramon from all men.
“But you saw. We all three saw that I could handle them.”
I can handle so much more.
“I did see that,” she conceded as she again tried to look away as if facing me directly was too much of a challenge to ride through, “but?—”
I brought her chin back to where it was so she’d look at me. “But nothing. I will protect you, Sofia. As long as I’m here, I vow it. I will protect you. I didn’t have to think about it. I didn’t have to strategize or make up my mind. The second I realized you and Ramon were in danger, I acted.”
How could she not see that? How could she be skeptical that I could protect her, even from her deepest fears?
“I’m not asking you to?—”
“You don’t need to ask me.” I smoothed her hair back from her face, imploring her with my eyes to believe me, to hear all that I was trying to convey to her. “It is my honor to protect you. You, the angel who risked herself to save me. I will never be able to repay you for saving me first.”
“Oh.” She bit on her lower lip, seeming too testy and combative for my liking. “So it’s just payback, huh? I did you a favor and now you did me a favor? I guess we’re even then.”
“No! That does not make us even and this isn’t some contest or tally of who does what. I want to save you each and every time you need it.”
Her eyes shuttered as she frowned at me, and I knew I was pushing too far. But I couldn’t help it. She had to understand. “I realize now how little faith you can have. After what you went through, I can see how you would prefer to be independent and fight your own battles because you’re the only person you can trust.”
She lay there, still and quiet. In the depth of her eyes, I saw how much she was struggling to deny it. Then she snapped to attention and shook her head.
“I refuse to believe that.”
“Sofia…”
“No. You will remember who you are one day. One day, someday, there is a big chance that it will all come back to you. I’m confident you will remember who you are one day. That you’ve had a life before that night you were knocked out. That you had a purpose and an existence before me.”
But what if it was all bad? What if I was bad?
Since killing those men, I had to seriously believe there was a chance that my previous life wasn’t one of good standing. That I could’ve been mixed up with dangerous things.
“Someone has to be missing you.” She stroked her hand down my cheek, gazing up at me with sadness. “And you’ll return to them. To who you were before.”
Not if it was bad. How could I?
“I don’t think you’re right. I’m not sure that there is some grand life that I left behind.” I tried not to shiver at the soothing caress she gave me, running her hand down my face, almost like petting me, but not. “Ramon and I were talking earlier, and he said something that stuck with me. I can see how perceptive he is, but at first, I was skeptical, thinking he was just talking nonsense.”
She furrowed her brow. “What did he say?”
“That I would know if I had someone. If I were missing someone.”
He’d explained it as a roundabout way of saying he didn’t think he had a dad. With the backstory Sofia had just given me, I saw how he didn’t. That bright, brave boy was the product of rape, but that wasn’t a father. The sick old drunk who Sofia said had raped her was just a sperm donor. One she hadn’t wanted.
Anger sparked anew in me at how she’d confided that she was a virgin before she’d been taken. It didn’t matter who the man was, what they did, or what he called himself. It was a crime, a grievance that she didn’t deserve to ever suffer. I prayed I could find her rapist and kill him ten times over, just to wring out every last drop of justice.
“He said he would know if something ever happened to you. In his heart. And he said that if I had a wife or girlfriend, or a child, my heart would know even if I don’t know myself right now.”
“That’s a fantasy. Just talking about wishful thinking.” She shook her head again, stubborn not to hear me and believe. “You came from somewhere, Diego. You came from someone. I know he can be a daydreamer like that, but it’s not proof that you aren’t missing. I see how badly you want to remember who you are, and I wish that for you. Even if it means that when you do recall who you are, you’ll go back to that life.”
“No.” I hovered over her, putting my weight on my forearms. “No, my angel. I won’t.”
“That’s nonsense. You can’t know that.”
“I do. There isn’t much I can be confident about, but I do know that I won’t leave you. Regardless of whatever memories I might recall later, I will always remember this. With you. This time and gift of getting to know you and Ramon, to be the recipient of your care and generosity. Of these memories with you , my angel.”
“Diego,” she whispered, watching me with desperate hope and stubborn doubt.
“I will always remember this ,” I vowed, leaning down to kiss her hard.
Unlike how we’d held each other close in the bathroom, I had the benefit of the bed beneath us now. She didn’t flinch or gasp in shock this time. The element of surprise wasn’t at play here.
Her lips molded to mine, already so familiar and perfectly fitting against mine. With a slight sigh of need, she turned her head to let me dominate. And I did, lying over her and relishing every inch of her curvy yet muscular body. Like this, blanketing her and pinning her to the mattress, I was flush against her to notice every slight muscle in her arms, honed from hard work, the soft, juicy swells of her breasts, and the curves of her waist and hips. As she lifted one leg, rubbing her thick thigh along the outside of my waist, I lowered my hand. Gliding it all the way down, along her side until I could palm her ass, I devoured her mouth and sucked on her lips. Greedy for it all, I showed her that I needed her to have confidence in this lust that pulled us together, this connection that grew stronger with every passing minute.
Breaking for air, I gazed down into her eyes. “I will protect you, Sofia. I will protect you and Ramon. Not because I feel obligated but because I want to. Because I care.”
She pulled me back down for a sweet and slow kiss. It was tender and careful, like she knew she had to savor it.
Like she was saying goodbye.
When she studied me again, she licked her lips then sighed heavily. “But that’s not possible. It won’t always be possible for you to be here and to prioritize us. The details of Ramon’s birth will always make him a target, and I can’t live with myself if I project that danger on you. It’s why I’ve always been alone and always will be. Why I need to hide?—”
“Then we will hide. We can hide together.”
We already had been hiding together. I’d stuck close to her home because I wasn’t sure where to go or what to do outside it. But if she needed to relocate, then we could.
“I won’t abandon you, my angel.” I kissed her again. “You have my word.”
“I wish…”
I growled, kissing her again to prove to her that she didn’t have to wish. She didn’t have to beg or ask or dream. I wasn’t lying.
“You have my word,” I repeated firmly.
She lifted her head to kiss me and pouted when I didn’t lean down. Before, I’d kissed her to quiet her. Right now, I wanted her to reply that she understood what I was saying. But with her movement, she arched her hips up toward mine. The push emphasized how I’d settled between her legs. How her pussy was right there, rubbing against my erection.
“You can have all of me,” I added.
Those emerald eyes lit up with need, and the sight of the desire I’d stoked in her taunted me.
I ground down against her again, rewarded with her low moan.
“You hear me, my angel?”
Over and over, I ground against her and let her feel the hard rub of my dick. Too many layers of clothes remained between us, but she felt it all. I did too, driving myself insane wanting her.
I lowered to kiss a slow path down her neck, moving my hips to hump and grind on her.
“You can have my word.”
I dragged my hand up to her breast, leaning to the side to give myself access to her tit. She gasped as I cupped it, massaging the weight before I rolled her hard nipple between my finger and thumb.
“You can have my body.”
I moved my hand away, only to tug the collar of her shirt down. Before I could try to lower more and suck that dusky pink nipple into my mouth, she grabbed my hand and planted it right back where it was, squeezing her fingers over mine to encourage me to resume touching her.
“Yeah, just like this, my angel.” I leaned up to kiss her, pushing my erection against her as I teased her nipple.
With my mouth a breath away from her lips, panting with quick breaths, I gazed at her and whispered, “Because you already have my soul, Sofia.”
“Diego, I—” She frowned, giving me such a begging, pleading, desperate look.
I kissed her again as I rammed my erection at her, blocked by our clothes.
“You can have all I am, my sweet angel.”