15. Sofia
15
SOFIA
D iego was offering himself to me. Freely. All of him.
With every repeat of his serious words, he wanted me to believe that he wouldn’t abandon me.
And with every push down of his big erection over my pussy, he wanted to show me that he would let me take whatever pleasure I wanted.
“Oh…” I tried not to moan out loud as he dipped his head lower to spread hot, wet kisses closer and closer to my breast. The wake of his mouth chilled me, my flesh covered in goosebumps as his breath breezed over the wetness his tongue left behind.
I’d never.
This was my first time to experience such a slow and torturous decline into desire, and I couldn’t believe how it fried my every nerve and lit all my cells. From inside out, from my toes to the top of my head, I felt like I was touching a live wire, charged and ready to explode.
A figment of fear caught me, snaring me with a worry that I wouldn’t last.
I’d never had a boyfriend, too busy working at my parents’ farm. Until they were killed in an accident when I was seventeen, I lacked the time to ever be boy crazy or think about romance. Then when I was?—
No. Don’t think about it.
“Do you hear me, my angel?” he asked, almost annoyed that I’d flinched. He could read me that well. He could tell when I was distancing from him and getting lost or taken out of this intimate moment.
“Yes. Yes, Diego.” I reached down to grab the bottom hem of my shirt, wanting him to keep me here with him, to keep me in this moment so no memories of my past slipped in. I needed to feel him holding me and kissing me everywhere, already addicted and hungry for his touch.
He took over getting my shirt off, shoving it up and tossing it aside. The moment I was bare to him, he growled softly in appreciation, staring at me as he cupped my breast. “You can have it all, Sofia. You can have all you want with me.”
My breast filled his big hand, but as he kept his smoldering gaze on me, he ducked until his tongue touched my other nipple.
“Oh!” I bucked against him, instinctively trying to push my pussy up to the bulge of his dick tenting his shorts.
Having his lips on me, kissing, licking, and sucking, distracted me from focusing on anything else. He pinched and stroked. He suckled and used his teeth to push me closer to feeling an intense pressure low in my abdomen. A band tightening and squeezing…
He reached for my shorts and slid his hand along my waist.
That was all. One move of his hand, and it jarred me out of the moment.
In a flash, my traumatic past slid in place and filtered my view of the present.
I was no longer in my bedroom, safe and secure with a caring, sexy man who wanted to show me how devoted he was to me.
Instead, in my mind’s eye, I was back in the darkness as men laughed and groped for me.
“No. I— No!” I whimpered, squeezing my eyes shut and shaking my head.
“Sofia.” He stopped, stilling his hand where it was. “It’s okay, my angel. It’s okay.”
“No. I can’t. They?—”
“Shh.”
I felt the weight of the bed dip as he crawled up higher to kiss me. “Shh… It’s just me. It’s just you and me.”
I steadied my breath, hating that a simple memory could ruin it so viscerally like that.
“Look.” He kissed me harder, and the demand of his lips cut through the fear. “Open your eyes, my angel.”
I wanted to. I wanted so badly to trust him.
“Eyes. On. Me.” The growl in his demand did the trick.
I looked at him, finding him panting and watching me.
“It’s just you and me. Just us here. No one else.”
“But when you touched me, I remembered them?—”
“No. You stay with me.” Ever so slowly, he slid his fingers back and forth, gently exploring and caressing me.
“Eyes on me, Sofia. You be my good little angel and look at me. Stay with me .”
I swallowed, finding it ironic that he was desperate to regain his memories and I could do well with erasing some of mine. I didn’t regret Ramon. I would never. But I wanted the taint of that night to cease in my mind.
“This is just you and me, my angel.” He kissed me, tenderly, and the magical touch of his lips had me sinking back under the lull of desire. The longer he kissed me, adding affection and devotion and so many emotions I couldn’t stop to label, the less I flinched at his fingers down there.
“Eyes on me,” he repeated as he stroked lower yet.
“Oh!” It wasn’t a cry, but more of a squeak of surprise. It felt… good. Naughty. Different. But so good. His fingertip rubbed along my slit. Pressure built low in my belly, and when he touched my clit, circling it, he smiled as I gasped.
“How does it feel, my angel?”
“Every time you say that,” I said around pants I could manage for air, “it makes me…”
“Realize how much you matter? You are my angel, Sofia.” He fingered me and smeared my juices. “My sweet, sexy, generous angel who came to save me.”
His deep voice soothed me at the same time it turned me on more. As he spoke, he dipped his finger into my entrance. Thank goodness he kissed me, because I moaned in pleasure at the stretch.
Ramon couldn’t wake up and find us like this. I didn’t want any more distractions or interruptions.
“I want…”
“Tell me, my angel. Tell me what you want.”
“You.”
He’d been rubbing against my thigh, grinding against my leg as he fingered me. But it wasn’t enough. As good as it felt for him to take his time and slowly stretch my wet entrance open, I thought ahead to how it wasn’t enough. How it would feel so, so much better for him to drag that big cock along my inner walls and make me snap.
Pressure built and built. It grew and swelled, this need to explode.
“You already have me, Sofia.” He leaned up to get on one side, easing off his shorts. Before he lay back, he kissed me deeper, drugging me and robbing my thoughts. “You have me, body and soul.” Pinning me down, he stroked both hands along my sides until he cupped my ass. With his fingers tugging on my sleep shorts, he slipped the garment off.
And I was gone.
No longer in this dreamy haze of lust and want, on the bed with Diego, I was thrust back into the past, reliving the memory of the Cartel thugs yanking my panties off and taunting…
“Eyes on me.” Diego's voice was stern and full of command, but it was the smack of his hand on my bare ass that startled me to snap to focus. Then the slip of his two fingers into my pussy with his thumb rubbing my clit. I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t even think.
He was… rough. Hard. But not cruel. Using his dominance, he dragged me out of my memory and secured me here, to stay with him here and in this moment.
I gasped, shocked that he wouldn’t coddle me but would insist like this. He wasn’t going to slack in making sure I was in the present.
And I was stunned by how much it… turned me on.
He could tell, the same as I did. I throbbed for him, my pussy and slit so sensitive to his touch. Sliding his fingers with more ease, he seemed to notice how much more I dripped for him.
“You pay attention to me, my angel.”
I nodded, thrusting up to his hand as he knelt in front of me.
“Because that’s all you need to focus on. Me. You have me , my angel. However you want. They don’t get you. Those memories can’t have any power over us. Over this. Over me.”
Yes, please. I wanted him to fuck the past out of me, if that could even be possible. It wasn’t, but I felt deep in my heart that this was an erasure. He was overriding the last time I had sex. We were making a new memory to combat the old one.
The fading sting of his hand on my ass spread over my skin, and even though he was being rougher than what I’d expect, it helped. It was what I needed to pull me back to focusing on the present and not lingering in my mind.
I nodded, staring up at him, and said the only words I could think to say.
“I… I trust you, Diego. I do.” I wanted to with all my heart. Maybe I wasn’t all the way there yet, but with his help, with his patience and firm but gentle touch, he could help me get to a point where I really could let myself be vulnerable and accepting of a man.
“Fuck. Angel. You are my sweet, precious angel.” He lowered to cover me, giving me the pleasure of his hot body warming mine again.
“You are my angel. Mine.”
“And you—” I tensed up as his dick prodded at my entrance. Instead of slipping into the past and letting this trigger those ugly memories to rise up again, I clung to him. I smashed my lips to his, and with that arch of my body, his cockhead bumped at my pussy once more.
Kissing him and giving myself permission to explore the beauty of connecting with a man, not being taken for his pleasure, I stayed firmly in the present. And slowly, with my legs parted and his cock pushing against me, he slid in. With a slight adjustment to line himself up, he eased into my slick entrance.
And again, I fought through the memories that taunted me.
“Eyes.” He caught his breath as he stared at me. “Eyes on me.”
I obeyed. I played along. Staring up into his warm brown eyes, I watched him and remained in the moment with him as he thrust into me farther.
“Oh…” I closed my eyes, carried away and overwhelmed by how good the burn of that stretch felt. “Oh, Diego.”
He kissed me hard, nipping my lip at the end. “Look. Eyes on me, Sofia!”
I opened my eyes, framing his face as he slid the rest of the way into me.
“You watch me, my angel. You look at me and know it is me . Me giving all I am to you. Only you.” He lowered to kiss me, melting my heart that much more as he pounded into my pussy.
“You look at me and see that I am the one to give you what you want, what you need.”
“Yes. Yes!” I scrunched my face at the sweet torture. I was so close. I was right there, within reach of coming. Bliss was imminent. My release would be there. He filled me with that big dick over and over until I shattered. Stars lit behind my eyes as I came hard. Crying out, I clung to him, but he covered for me quickly. Kissing me hard, like he never wanted it to end, he quieted my cries of pleasure. It seemed that he couldn’t hold on for much longer, for in the next moment, he came. Tensing and with goosebumps spreading over his back where I laid my hands to hug him close, he followed me with his release.
He grunted as his dick twitched, flooding me with his hot cum. A low growl slipped from him, also muffled by our kiss. Still, he rocked gently into me as if he never wanted to quit. And still, I milked him, my inner walls sucking him greedily as he shot every last drop deep inside my womb.
Breathing hard and lying limp, we held each other close as we ushered in a new memory. A new beginning.
Us against the past.