23. Sofia
23
SOFIA
P amela drove me home from work and parked in front of the house. “Oh, those lights are so cute.” She leaned over the steering wheel to see out the side window. It was cracked open, and when she shivered, she laughed. “My God, Sofia. Why did you need to lower that? It’s kind of chilly today.”
It was hardly chilly. She was just one of those people who always seemed cold. Not enough body fat, if anyone were to ask me.
“I just needed some fresh air.” I made a face at the coconut air freshener. “It’s too…” I mocked a gagging face.
She laughed. “It is not that bad. It’s not even that strong.” She plucked it off the rearview mirror stand and sniffed it directly. “It’s faded a lot. I can hardly smell it.”
“Well, I can.” How can you not smell it? “And it’s gross.”
She tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. “You complained about that patient’s BO today too.”
I nodded. “It was terrible.”
“It was.” She narrowed her eyes even more. “But he was a patient in room one, while you were only in the wing on the other end of the hall for rooms ten through fifteen.”
I shrugged. We were friends, yet not. Sometimes, she was just too silly.
“Sofia…”
I raised my brows. “What?”
“You have a glow. You seem nauseous in the mornings. And now you have a super bloodhound sense of smell?”
“I’m not…” Wait a second now. I opened and closed my mouth. “I’m not. I can’t be pregnant.”
“Can’t?” She huffed a laugh. “You’ve got a new boyfriend you’re trying and failing to keep a secret… How impossible is it, really?”
Not at all. In fact, with how often Diego and I were making love without any protection, it seemed very possible. Maybe even probable.
“Hmm?”
I pulled my lips into my mouth and exhaled through my nose. “I don’t know what to say.”
She giggled, excited. “You say that you might be pregnant! Admit it!”
“I haven’t thought about it. I mean… I guess I could get a test and see.”
She patted my knee. “I think you should. It’ll be your little Christmas miracle!”
I smiled. I already had one of those—Diego. He was the only gift I ever could’ve dreamed of. And unwrapping him—taking his clothes off—was always a pleasure as we sought our highs together.
I got out of her car and headed inside. Smiling at the quiet and still home, I put my purse down and wondered if my hunk of a Christmas present was waiting for me in bed. I was sure I could have Ramon go play with Juan so he wouldn’t overhear.
“Diego?” I walked further inside.
“He’s not here.”
I jumped at Ramon’s voice. He came out of the kitchen, snacking on an apple.
“Wait. Where’d you come from?” I looked at my watch. “You’re still supposed to be in school.”
He shook his head. “The times were wrong on the schedule. I think it was a typo.”
“Oh. But didn’t Diego pick you up?” How could he have when he was told the later time, when I thought he’d need a ride?
“No. Se?ora Vasquez was, though. She brought me home.”
“Where’s Diego?” I asked.
He shrugged, furrowing his brow. “I don’t know. I walked over from Juan’s house about ten minutes ago and he wasn’t here.”
A knock sounded on the door.
“Why would he knock?” Ramon wondered aloud as he approached the door.
“Wait,” I said as I spun, reaching out to stop him. “Let me get it.”
“I’m closer.” He reached for the doorknob.
“But you don’t know who?—”
Ramon’s small hand spun the knob. Too late.
The door flung open, smacking back against the wall. An already dented-in cave of drywall deepened more with the ball of the knob hitting in the same damn spot from the force.
Men stormed in, and I choked on air. My heart thundered and my lungs constricted. All through my body, with the tension in my muscles as they locked, I suffered the physical effects of adrenaline charging through my system.
No!
I reached for Ramon, pulling him back with me as I tripped and fell, retreating further into the house.
Men filed in. Several of them let themselves inside my home, forcing me toward the corner. I held Ramon with me, not letting go for a second.
Because this was it.
My worst nightmare was coming true.
The Cartel had found us. And they were inviting themselves in whether I wanted them to or not.
No!
I screamed it in my head and I roared it out loud as I backed up with Ramon. He pushed into me, almost wanting to run away through the wall.
Panic kicked in, and I resisted locking down. My trauma was here, in real time, a repeat of what I’d always feared and what I’d survived once.
The last time I’d seen Sebastian was when I escaped after his rape. That time, Ramon had been safe inside my womb, just starting to be implanted after I had been taken against my will. This time, Ramon was a growing, strong boy. I couldn’t protect him with my body again, but I tried to tuck him more behind me, to block these Cartel men from reaching him.
They’d have to get through me first.
They’d have to kill me first to reach him.
“Get out! Get out!” More screams—without any words or making any sense—they all left my lips as the men rushed through my home. For the second time too soon, my safe haven was violated and invaded.
“There he is.” Sebastian strode through the room as his lackeys destroyed it all. Shoving things over, crashing things to the floor. Their laughter rose up, and with their glee and amusement over ruining my home, just for the sick fun and hell of it, I was taken back to how they’d partied and laughed that night I was raped. How they’d made fun of my cries and how I clawed to get away.
“No!” I lashed out at the two men who charged forward. One wrenched my arms off Ramon. The other hauled me back with one arm around my stomach.
“Mama!” Ramon was carried back, but he didn’t go easily. He reached his arms back, stretching to get hold of me again. He kicked and bucked, wiggling to get out of the thug’s grip.
Raw fury controlled me. I wasn’t able to think past the panic, but I didn’t need to. This was instinct. Fight or flight. Powered up with a shot of adrenaline, I shook and sweated as I fought to break free with all my might.
“I don’t think so,” Sebastian said with a long, slow drawl, sneering as he got in my face, stinking the air with his putrid breath. He reeked of booze, stale and stagnant. “You ain’t getting him back. You had him too long as it was.”
“Ramon!” I screamed it, resisting the men keeping me back.
They slapped me. They kicked me. One held me against his chest while I watched them carry my son toward the door. One hard lift of my knees got Sebastian right in the balls, and he reacted instantly. Smashing a baton down on my arm, he growled and cupped his crotch.
Pain radiated through my limb. I gasped, unable to breathe through the agony, but I kept my eyes open, gagging and heaving for air. I was sick, literally sick to my stomach, witnessing my son’s abduction.
“No!”
“You fucking bitch.” Sebastian winced as he walked. Drunk and too old to bounce back quickly, he staggered away. “You are not allowed to keep the Cartel’s son from us. He belongs with us.”
“No! He’s not yours!”
“He is.” Sebastian stopped at the door as Ramon cried for me outside, carried away.
My rapist looked me over, his drunk face contorted with disgust but also pride in having all the control here. “The staff at the clinic near the compound always reports to us. We saw you escape the compound, and as soon as you passed out in the jungle near that clinic, they told us. I knew. I always knew that you were carrying my child. I just never knew until now where you were hiding.”
Tears burned down my cheeks as I cried. My heart was splintered into pieces as this new reality hit me hard. Surreal, but not, I was forced to accept the truth that my worst fears had been realized.
They had my son.
All my efforts to hide him and keep him safe were in vain.
I’d lost anyway.
They were too strong, too skilled, too powerful in number to ever beat them in this battle.
“That boy is mine,” Sebastian declared, pointing at the open door where darkness filled the sky. “He is the Cartel’s. He has Cartel blood and is the bastard son of a boss.” He pounded his fist against his chest. “He belongs to the Cartel, bitch. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”
They hit me again before dropping me.
I lacked the energy to get up and move.
Already, the rev of all the engines were roaring down the road.
I couldn’t run after them.
I couldn’t beat them and demand Ramon’s return.
I couldn’t do a damn thing but curl into a ball and know my life was over.