Chapter 9 Jade
Isat at that table for as long as I could before I finally gave in to the urge to go and drop in on the guys and their little meeting.
I’ll have to explain the value of being discreet later because if they believe, even for a moment, that anyone in this room couldn’t hear them, they’re dead wrong. I just so happened to be the only one who cared to listen, so at least there's that.
I look over the paper that I snatched from Spencer. Just like I thought when I glanced over his shoulder, it’s a list of all the girls I’ve taken care of over the years.
“The reason all the contracts have an expiration date is by my request, but also because I’m more valuable to my owner if I can be leased out instead of just bought once.
” I look up from the paper to ensure I have their attention, and I’m met with angry looks all around me.
Even Kratos looks more murderous than he did a few minutes ago, which I hadn’t thought possible.
I focus back on the paper in my hand, giving me something to look at that isn’t them, something that can’t possibly judge me.
“When I was younger, one of the girls I was with was like an older sister to me. The closest thing I have ever had to a parent that I can remember. Our owner ran a strip club, but it was just a front. All his workers were always strung out. He paid them with drugs to keep it that way, and they remained happy to do whatever he wanted for their next fix.” I take a deep breath and remind myself this was a long time ago, while sticking to the facts to avoid letting my emotions show.
Nobody rushes me, and I keep my eyes down, too much of a coward to look at any of them.
“The regulars knew that you could pay for premium entrance and get your choice of the girls in the basement. They didn’t even try to be discreet.
” I shake my head at the pure stupidity of it.
“This was my second owner. My first wasn’t so much for selling out girls as he was enjoying the company of young girls.
I made it out of there without ever having to do more than service him before I was too old for his liking. ”
My grip on the paper gets tighter the longer I talk, but I can’t make myself relax. Watching the paper crumple is almost calming. Almost, but not entirely.
“I thought I was lucky, but god, was I stupid. During my first week in the club, I knew it would be worse. Ashlynn took one look at me and, for some reason, decided I was her responsibility. I’m not sure why, but I’m grateful.
” I close my eyes and can picture the way she used to look at me, so much love in her eyes.
I can’t remember my mother, just scattered little things that could be real or could be my imagination.
But when someone talks about parents, she’s what I picture.
Her face is no longer clear, growing hazy as the years pass, but the shine of her amber eyes as they looked down at me is something I’ll never forget.
“For my first few months there, she was able to keep everyone away from me. When someone came in, she would make sure to flirt and appear willing. Most of the men didn’t think twice with the attention of a pretty girl and she was able to keep me hidden away.
But, one day, a man came in and specifically asked for a younger girl.
Ashlynn was easily six years older than me, so she wasn’t even presented as a choice for him.
” I press my eyes closed harder, pushing back the memories that threaten to swallow me.
The man's grungy appearance, with his big belly and dirty clothes that were just a tad too small.
The scent of alcohol on his breath so strong that I could smell it the moment he walked into the room.
“Only three of us were young enough for his preference and when the other two and I where presented, our owner let him know I was still pure,” I spit the last word, unable to keep the pain from bleeding in with my rage.
“Of course it would suit him for the man to pick me. I had a much higher price tag because of the fact that I was untouched.” I laugh, but the sound is humorless. It sounds broken and unhinged.
How very fitting, considering I am, in fact, broken and unhinged.
“Pure. What a joke. Virgin or not, nobody is pure after seeing what I had at such a young age, let alone what I had done,” I say almost to myself, but I know they can hear me.
There may be other people in the room and other things going on, but I can’t imagine it would be enough to pull their attention from this story, not if they want answers.
“Anyways, he obviously picked me. I was terrified. I had no idea what was going on, not really. He took me to one of the back rooms and had me undress. I remember feeling like I was going to throw up the whole time. Thankfully, I hadn’t eaten in days, so I knew even if I did, nothing would come up. ”
I can still remember the sharp hunger pains as the memory washes over me.
His big meaty finger wrapped around my arm as he dragged me down the hall to the room, when I was too frightened to move.
His big hand grabbed my chin to force me to look at him, his nails digging into my cheek hard enough that I’m surprised it didn’t break the skin.
“He never got to put a hand on me, though. Ashlynn came in and attacked him, and I was too shocked to move. I stood naked in the room while she hit him a few times with some kind of pipe she must have found. But she wasn’t strong enough, and even with a few good hits, he overpowered her easily.
” The guys are so quiet I wouldn’t even know they were there if I didn’t still feel their eyes on me.
Everything in me screams to shut my mouth, to stop before the pain seeps out, but if I stop now, I know I’ll never start again. So I keep going.
“He held her down on the bed, hitting her over and over before he started to pull at her clothes. Eventually, he stopped hitting her, his hand wrapped around her throat to keep her in place while he attempted to have his way with her. It wasn’t until she started frantically clawing at his hand that I realized he was cutting off her oxygen.
He was going to rape and kill her right in front of me, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.
I couldn’t save myself. How was I supposed to save her? She was always the one saving me.”
It’s been years since I let myself think about Ashlynn and even longer still since I talked about her. Since I talked about the night that changed my outlook on life, God, I had forgotten the pain that comes with her memory.
I swallow past the lump in my throat and push myself to keep going.
“I don’t know what happened, but one second I was standing there watching, and the next he was lying there, dead.
There was blood everywhere. It was all over me, but when I looked up, Ashlynn was there.
She was alive. I was so relieved that I broke down.
” I look down at my hand, the one not crumpling up the paper, turning it over front and back.
I can still feel the warmth of his blood and see the way it covered every finger.
“Ashlynn kept telling me it would be okay, but I really didn’t care so long as she was alive.
Eventually, she pulled my shirt on me, and we ran from the room.
She cleaned me up the best she could, the whole time offering me calming words even though she was crying.
But we didn’t make it far. His body was found, and before I knew it, Ashlynn was gone.
She’d kissed me on the forehead that night when I laid down and told me, ‘Never stop staying alive, little one.’ And when I woke up, she was gone.
I never saw her again.” I blow out a shaky breath.
I hadn’t realized just how labored my breathing had become.
The memory of that night is so fresh in my mind that my body feels the need to take action, though there’s nothing to fight against here.
“I must have blacked out because the memories started to surface as the days went on. I had stabbed him to death. I found a pen on the table and stabbed him in the side of his face. When he fell back, I pounced on him. I don’t know how many times I stabbed him, but Ashlynn had to pull me off him well after he lay lifeless underneath me.
There was blood on everything.” A shiver runs through my body at the memory, but not because I killed someone like you would think.
No, the shiver is one of pure joy. I had saved someone I cared about, no matter what I had to do to accomplish that. I was proud of it.
“It wasn’t until later, when I realized I was actually the one who killed him, that I understood what happened. She‘d protected me one last time. Ashlynn had taken the fall for me.” Someone reaches out and untangles my fingers from the paper, gently pulling it from my grasp.
My head snaps up, and I meet Zander’s eyes where he sits at the table. My vision blurs around the edges, distorting him. He holds my gaze and I take a deep breath, willing my tears not to fall. If I start crying, I might never stop, and crying has never done me any favors.
A hand on my shoulder has me turning around. Kratos giving a slight squeeze as if to comfort me and while his face is blank, but his eyes shine with empathy.
A single tear escapes at his show of comfort. Kratos isn’t someone you would look at and expect that from, and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t touch something inside of me. I move to wipe it away. Maybe if I’m quick enough, the others won't notice.
“It’s okay to feel things, Jade,” Spencer says from behind me at the table. I freeze, my hand halfway to my face before I drop it and let that single tear be.