Chapter 19 #2
As she watches me, her smile only grows, and for a moment, I worry she’s laughing at me, that I’ve made a fool of myself. But, looking closer, I see the humor in her eyes is playful, and that has me smiling back at her; my worries all but melting away.
I’m so fucked.
“I asked what we’re doing tonight,” she repeats, and as soon as she says it, I remember her asking, and I nod.
She drops the towel from her hair and picks up her brush before working it through the long, wet strands. I fucking love her hair, I loved it when it was blonde, but now, it’s just so her; I can’t even picture her going back.
She turns a little, facing me more, and I can’t hold back the groan that comes out of my mouth as I take in her body that she so shamelessly puts on full display.
“Doll, if you want any hope of us having a conversation, I’m going to need you to put those clothes on,” I tell her, scrubbing a hand down my face. It almost physically hurts me to ask her to cover herself, but I really have no hope of talking, let alone us ever leaving this room if she doesn’t.
When I remove my hands from my face, I expect her to be doing just that.
Whenever we point out that undressing in front of people is no longer necessary or something she should do, she’s quick to correct it.
Years of using her body have made it her first reaction, but that’s not her life anymore.
She doesn’t need to offer us services for common decency.
Instead, I’m met with a devious smile on her beautiful face that has my pulse kicking up a notch. Jade is full of surprises, but her crazy side is my favorite so far. Yeah, I know how weird that my crazy ass should enjoy her crazy, but it is what it is.
Surprisingly, though, I also love her innocent side. I love that she doesn’t understand how much money is a lot or how to use the TV remote. The way she lights up when you give her sweets.
Yeah, that shit is fucking adorable, and I could eat her up when she’s like that.
“Awe, is Zander too distracted to think straight?” Jade teases, her voice reminding me of the tone that people use with children. My mouth falls open slightly as I grasp for something to say and come up blank.
She takes a few steps toward me, where I still sit on the edge of her bed.
“Am I the reason you're so distracted, Zander?” She flutters her eyelashes at me dramatically in a way that I’ve seen a million times but never really understood.
Usually, it just looks ridiculous, like when Amanda did it at the party, but as she does it now, I can see that it can be sexy.
Huh, who knew?
She stops just a foot or two in front of me, bending at the waist so her eyes are level with mine where I sit. Of course, with her being so short, she doesn’t have to bend far, but it’s still more than enough to put her boobs on display.
The skin of those perfect globes is mostly unmarked.
I don’t let myself wonder why that is; instead, I choose to focus on just how perky they are as she taunts me.
For a moment, they are directly in my line of sight, and it takes a level of self-control I didn’t know I had not to lean forward and catch one of her nipples in my mouth.
I want to know what she tastes like. I bet she’s sweet, just like the smell of her pomegranate body wash, but it’s more than that. I want to see her reaction.
I want to watch her writhe beneath me.
“Jade.” Her name tumbles from my lips, and while I intended it to be a warning, it comes out dark and husky. Sounding just as pained as I feel.
“What’s wrong, Zander?” she asks before raising a brow at me in question. Tilting her head to the side as if she doesn’t know damn well what she’s doing to me.
Her eyes trace down my body. Every ounce of self-control I possess is currently being used to keep me where I am.
My posture’s stiff, jaw clenched, and my hands curled in tight fists around her bedding to keep them still.
One wrong move, and I feel like I might crack wide open, but the stiffness in my stance doesn’t even compare to the stiffness of my cock as it presses against my sweats.
I’m so hard. I’m not sure I have ever been this hard in my life, let alone from just the sight of someone.
But here I sit on the bed watching her, thanking whatever higher power there might be that I changed out of my jeans before I came to see her.
If I still had jeans on, I probably would have busted through the damn button on them by now.
I know she sees it.
Sweatpants have a way of showing off everything, and in my current state, it’s very, very noticeable. The slight hitch in her breath as her eyes wander over me confirms it. Her reaction has the corner of my lip pulling up into a smirk. It looks like I’m not the only one distracted now.
She leans farther into my space, and her scent takes over my mind. Before I can think better of it, I’m gripping her chin in a possessive way that demands she keeps her eyes on mine.
“If you don’t want me to change our plans to stay here in this room all night, I suggest you get dressed, Doll.
You seem to have a lot of faith in someone who’s made a name for himself by breaking laws and killing people.
” Her eyes are fixed on mine as I speak.
I’m not sure if she even notices that she’s leaning into my hand more and more the longer I hold her, but I sure as fuck do.
For a moment, I worry she won’t understand what I’m implying. She can be so innocent at times.
Her response assures me she heard it loud and clear, though. “And what if that’s exactly what I want?” Her voice is low and husky, her pupils blown wide as she bites into her plush bottom lip.
Goddamn it.
I want to bite her. I want it to be my teeth sinking into her lip. The memory of her in my arms against the door pops up in my brain as I think about how soft her mouth is and how she felt against me.
“Then I guess clothes aren’t required,” I tell her.
She sucks in a sharp breath through her nose as I watch her. I reach my thumb up to pull her lip free before rubbing it across the length of it.
The heat of her mouth is almost too much for me to handle as her breath hits my thumb. If this is what she wants, I’m all for it, but she has to make that choice. I won’t be doing it for her, no matter how much I want to.
If this is all she wants, she can pull away right now.
I may end up with the worst case of blue balls in the history of the world, but I’ll survive.
I want Jade, like, really want her. I don’t just want to fuck her and be done.
Jade isn’t like other girls. In fact, she’s not like anyone I’ve ever met before.
I knew that from the moment I saw her, and every moment after just cemented that for me.
That’s why I want her to choose this. I want her to want this just as much as I do, to want me.
I want her squirming and begging for it with no chance that she will regret it later.
For her to keep coming back for more. I’ve dealt with addiction before, and I know if we do this, she will be more potent than any drug I could ever get my hands on.
I’m fine with that so long as this is an addiction we have together.
As long as we get lost in this because that’s what she wants, I’m more than happy to give her whatever her body might need for as long as she’ll have me.
Her gaze doesn’t leave mine as she tilts her head forward just barely, and for a moment, I don’t understand why. Then, her warm lips close around my thumb, and I watch in shocked awe as she pulls my thumb further into her mouth, her tongue rubbing along the length of it.
Holy fuck.
Who knew having someone suck on your thumb could be such a turn-on.
Not me.
Though it’s not my thumb in her mouth that has my dick throbbing, no, it’s the image of her sucking anything that has me picturing her on her knees in front of me.
Her long hair wrapped around my fist as I shove her forward as far as she can go, until her eyes water and she can hardly breathe.
That’s what has me unable to put together a coherent thought, let alone speak.
Her cheeks just barely hollow out as she sucks on my thumb and, with it, drains the last of my willpower out of me.
Before I know it, I have her on her back, lying on the bed. She blinks up at me in surprise, too lost in her thoughts and the haze she was in to have been able to stop me. Though I’m sure it has more to do with her not wanting to, not her ability to.
My hand that held her chin now rests on her throat, and though I’m not putting any force on it, she remains where she is.
Her legs hang off the bed from the knee down, but the rest of her is laid out beautifully for me.
I take a moment to run my eyes across every bit of her that's on display before I shift my focus back to her face.
Her cheeks are flushed the most beautiful color. Each breath comes out in harsh little pants that have me flexing my fingers to be sure she has room to breathe properly.
She does.
Which means that her labored breathing has everything to do with her reaction to this particular moment and nothing to do with a lack of oxygen.
I lean over her easily. With our height difference, I can keep my hand on her throat even with a considerable gap between our bodies. Stepping forward until my knees hit the bed in the space between her legs, I force them to open around me.
I have to fight to keep my eyes on hers.
I love her eyes and the emotions that are on display there, but it's a damn hard thing to do when I know that kicking her legs open has put even more of her on display for me.
There's no way I can look away and not devour her.
But as badly as I want that and as caught up in her as I am right now, I still need her to tell me this is what she wants.