Chapter 23 Zander
It’s not hard to pick a lock. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid, and at this point, I can do it with my eyes closed.
I let myself into Jade’s room once I heard the shower turn on. I want to give her space, but I also feel the urge to check on her after the breakdown she just had in the car.
I’m unsure what I can do for her, if anything, but I want to be close if she needs me. The pain in her voice and the look on her face, while she went off on Spencer was heartbreaking.
I don’t blame him for asking. We all wanted to know, so while he could have waited for a better time, I understand.
On the other hand, I don’t think anyone expected the reaction she had.
Even Spencer looked taken back and a bit regretful at the end.
It seems the weight she put on her shoulders is more than we understood.
I wonder how long she’s been carrying this shit around.
I stand outside her bathroom door for a while, pacing back and forth as quietly as possible. It would probably be easier to be quiet if I stayed still, but if I don’t move, I’ll bust in there, and I want to give her space while also being here.
After about twenty minutes, her sniffles stop, and the steam from under the door lessens. She’s probably running out of hot water at this point, but even so, she doesn't shut it off.
I give her five more minutes before I pick the lock and open the door just enough to see inside.
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn't this. Some of her clothes were spread out on the floor between the bedroom door and the bathroom, and I assumed she had finished getting undressed in the bathroom. However, now that I look at her back, I see that’s not the case.
She lost her shoes and jeans, but her shirt is still on, and with no clothes in the bathroom, I can only assume that means her bra and underwear are as well.
She’s soaked to the bone, sitting directly under the spray of water, her knees up to her chest as her arms circle them to hold them close, head bent forward to rest on her knees.
I can see her body shake in the aftermath of her breakdown, but I don’t hear any sniffling, so I’m not sure if she’s still crying or not.
Her shirt’s plastered to her body like a second skin, but her hair is pulled forward over her shoulder, leaving her neck on display.
Something seems off, but I can’t figure out what.
It takes a moment before I realize the skin of her neck is red, like really red.
She must have had the hot water up too high.
I fight against going to her to ensure she’s okay, but if it hurts her, she doesn't show it. Instead, she continues to sit as if she’s frozen there.
I stand and watch, unable to walk away but unwilling to force myself into her space when she’s clearly losing it.
I offered comfort in the car, but she didn’t take it.
I want to give her whatever she needs, and if that happens to be space right now, I can do that for her, even if it’s killing me to see her like this.
Jade’s been strong since the moment I found her down in that fucked up pit. But everyone has a breaking point. I just somehow never thought she would, not after everything life has handed her so far. In my mind, she was indestructible. That’s my mistake for thinking like that.
I’m not sure how long I stand there, but eventually, she lays down, and even from across the room, I can hear her teeth rattle from the cold water that’s still pelting down on her.
Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I was fine with letting her be alone, but this could get dangerous, and I won’t risk her safety.
She can be mad; hell, she can kick me out, but I won’t be leaving her like this.
Grabbing a few towels, I make my way into the shower. I shut the water off, but she doesn’t so much as move, let alone look at me.
Shit.
Did I let her have too long?
Scooping her up off the ground, I pull her into my arms.
Fuck, she’s freezing.
She soaks my shirt as I hold her, but I don’t give a damn.
I pull her out of the shower and sit on the ground with her in my lap before I try to get her shirt off.
I need to warm her up, and to do that, I need her dry, and this shit isn’t helping.
I try twice before getting annoyed and ripping it at the neck straight down her chest. Her bra is a lot easier, and her underwear is really only a bit of lace, so I don’t even bother taking it off before I wrap a towel around her.
I carefully move her around to take my shirt off now that it’s soaked.
Gathering her up in my arms with the towel she's in and a few more, I move out into her room and place her on the bed. I send Rick a quick text without an explanation, asking him to bring one of Clair’s heated blankets to Jade’s room.
I know he’ll do it, and I don’t have time to go into it in a text right now.
I pull back her covers before grabbing another towel and trying to get most of the water out of her hair. It’s a fucking dripping mess. After a while, I can’t do much more, so I just lay another on her pillow before moving her under the blankets.
As soon as I have her in the bed, there’s a knock at the door. I yell for them to come in, and Rick walks in a second later with the blanket, just like I knew he would.
He takes one look at me with my shirt off and thinks the worst. I watch as his jaw ticks, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Can you plug that in over by her nightstand for me?” I ask him before I turn my attention back to Jade. I grab the wet towels on her bed and toss them to the side. I don’t need them seeping through and making her cold again.
When Rick still hasn’t moved, I look at him to see why. He’s looking at me like he wants to chew me out, but before he does, he looks over at Jade.
I see his face change when he realizes this isn’t what he thought, whatever that might be. His eyes go from her wet hair to her slightly blue lips before returning to me.
“What happened?” he demands, finally moving to do what I asked. I huff and explain while we work together to get the blanket between her sheet and the comforter without exposing her.
“You shouldn’t have let her stay in there so long,” he tells me once I’ve explained and she's settled.
“Thanks, Captain Obvious, I see that now, but I was trying to give her space. Trust me, lesson learned,” I tell him as I gesture to where she lies on the bed.
The heated blanket seems to be helping. Already, her lips are less blue, and she’s not shivering so fucking violently.
Rick sighs before he gives me a nod. I know he wants to argue with me. I can see it, but for whatever reason, he decides not to, and at the moment, I don’t care why.
“I assume you’ll be staying in here tonight to monitor her?” he asks, and while I hadn’t thought that far ahead before, I know I can’t just leave her. I won’t.
I need to make sure I’m here if something happens, so I nod.
“Okay, I’ll stay in your room tonight, so I’ll be close. If anything goes wrong, just shout, and I’ll be here,” he says. Again, I nod before he walks to the door.
Before he leaves, he turns to look at me. “I wouldn’t worry too much about her, Zander. She's tough. I’m sure she'll be fine,” he says before letting himself out, closing the door behind him.
The only problem with that is I’m not sure it’s possible for me not to worry about her anymore, and as I stand next to her bed watching her, I know it has absolutely nothing to do with the mission.
I’m not sure when I fell asleep, but I remember checking her body temperature a few times and the color of her lips.
Once the blue was gone and her shivering stopped, I finally let myself sit at the end of her bed.
I knew once I got comfortable, I’d probably pass out, so I didn’t even sit down until I knew she was doing better.
Movement under my head pulls me further from sleep, and I sit up slowly, feeling like I just drank my weight in alcohol and tried to sleep it off. Yeah, I couldn’t have been asleep for more than a few hours tops.
Prying my eyes open, I’m met with Jade’s green eyes staring back at me from where she sits, leaning back against her pillows.
The sheet pools around her waist, leaving her chest on full display for me, and while I would usually be ecstatic about getting time with her tits, right now, I’m just happy she’s awake.
I scramble up the bed to sit next to her. I want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her I’m sorry I let her get so bad before I stepped in. I want to apologize for allowing Spencer to question her. Shit, I just want to hold her. But the moment I make it to her, she quickly looks down.
“Hey, what's wrong?” I ask, leaning in, in hopes of catching her eye. She doesn’t respond, instead shaking her head and turning further away from me.
After last night in the shower, I can’t handle giving her more room right now. So I reach out and gently but firmly grab her chin to turn her head back towards me. She doesn’t resist, but she still keeps her eyes downcast.
“Jade.” I don’t even try to mask the pleading tone in my voice. That seems to get her attention, and finally, she looks up at me. “Talk to me, please.” I all but beg.
She takes a deep breath before pushing it out as if preparing herself.
“I didn’t mean to lose my shit last night.
It’s been a long time since I’ve broken down like that, and it shouldn’t have been something you guys had to deal with,” she tells me.
For a moment, I don’t know what to say because I was concerned for her, and she was worried about us having to see her like that.
The whole thing is so ridiculous it’s almost laughable.