Chapter 16 Jade #2
“I know you can handle yourself, but I don’t want you to have to.
I don’t want you to have to go back to that hell and deal with that shit.
” His voice is still low, just barely more than a whisper, but his words have taken on a sharp edge.
“But I know if we try to stop you, you'll just do it anyway, and it’ll probably end up being more dangerous that way.”
He lets out a huff of frustration, and while I can stay quiet, I can’t help but turn to look at him. The emotion in his voice is all over the place. First, he was soft and sweet, then angry, and now he just sounds tired.
I don’t understand why.
I roll to face him, hoping that seeing his face will help me understand.
It doesn’t. The room is too dark for me to see him properly.
“I don’t want you around, Randall, and if you had to be, I wish it was only while we go murder the fucker for whatever he did to you.
” His words are more of a growl now, and while I can’t see the anger on his face in the dark room, I can hear it, and I can’t help but smile.
He’s serious, and I bet if I asked him to right now, he would go with me to do just that.
I’ve only ever had that with Kratos before, and even with him, there was always distance.
I couldn’t get too close without bringing danger at first, and then I couldn’t leave the girls.
His words are dark and twisted, but they’re exactly what I need, and they make me happy in a way I’m not used to.
He pulls his arm away from my waist. I miss the contact but remain quiet as I watch him. No matter how much I want to tell him to put it back, I won't.
His hand comes up and cups the side of my face, his thumb rubbing against my cheekbone, and I can’t stop my eyes from fluttering closed. The rough skin of his hands feels sinful on my skin, but this feels different, somehow more. I’m so happy I didn’t stop him from moving.
“I’ll do whatever it is you need me to. I want to help you end this shitshow.
I want it done and over with so you can be free and the girls can be safe.
” He leans his forehead against mine. “And then I want to help you kill anyone left standing. Anyone who’s ever been involved with this shit.
I want to lay your enemies at your feet.
I would level this city for you, Jade. All you have to do is ask.
” His words are so sincere that I know he means it, but that’s not what has my eyes flying open.
Zander hardly ever uses my actual name. Instead, he chose to call me by his ridiculous nickname that I’ll never admit I’ve grown fond of. For whatever reason, when he uses my name, it feels different.
“I only ask one thing in return. Let us help you; don’t do it alone.
I just want to know you’re safe. That’s all I need.
I know together we can take these sick fucks down.
Hell, I’m sure you could do it on your own.
It’s no secret you're a badass.” He gives a slight chuckle, and his eyes crinkle as he smiles at me.
“I know you're used to being alone, but you're not anymore, and I want you to use us. You're the leader of Vengeance, so start acting like it. Tell us what to do and what you need, and let us do some of the legwork.” He stops talking, and for a moment, the room’s so quiet I wonder if he’s fallen asleep. It takes me a minute to realize he’s waiting for me to reply.
“Why?” The question is out of my mouth before I can even really think about what I wanted to say, but after I’ve said it, I realize how much the thought is nagging at me. His words are sweet and just crazy enough to touch me, but I don’t understand why he would want to help.
Is it because I’m the leader of Vengeance?
If so, he needs to understand that this isn’t part of that.
Yes, Vengeance was created to take down the rings, but they don’t have to answer to me.
Kratos can tell the entire world I’m the leader, and if he needs me, I’ll be there, but I don’t need people feeling like they owe me their services for that.
Keeping Vengeance in the city to stop more rings is their main priority now.
And honestly, I can’t think of another reason he would be so willing to help or be so upset about me putting myself in danger if not for the fact that he thinks I’m more important than I really am.
I pull back slightly so I can watch him closely. Looking for any sign that he’s doing this because he feels a sense of duty, maybe an inkling of a sign that he doesn’t really want to do this, but he feels he has to. Instead, he continues smiling at me and gives a shake of his head.
“You really are terrible with people, you know that, Doll?” he says with a chuckle, and while his words are playful, they only confuse me more, putting me slightly on edge.
He must see the change on my face.
“I meant no disrespect. It’s just crazy to me.
You’re surrounded by people who care about you, and you don’t even see it.
Do you think any of us would be this upset if we didn’t care?
” His question throws me off, but also sets my mind racing.
He’s right. All the guys were upset about this, and again, the question is why.
“None of us wants to see you go back there or have you put yourself in unnecessary danger. Not even Spencer. We all care about you.”
This time, I laugh because the thought of Spencer caring about what I do is funny to me. Spencer hates me. He’s made that clear since day one, and while we might not be at each other's throats right now, that doesn’t mean he just suddenly cares, let alone likes me.
“Don’t laugh. I’m serious. All of us. Rick, Spence, me, Kratos, hell, even Trent.
We all care. So just tell me you won’t do this alone.
I wish you didn’t have to be involved, but I won’t ask that of you.
This is your fight; just let us know, and we'll be happy to help. Let us do this together,” he says, pulling me against him once again.
This time it’s not my back that’s pressed against him, though, and my brain short-circuits when I feel that he’s hard against me.
My brain says this is dangerous, that he could do whatever he wants to me in this bed, but again, my body reacts differently.
My cheeks heat, and my breath hitches at the contact.
I’m sure he doesn’t miss either of those things, but he doesn’t comment on them. Instead, waiting for my reply.
I take a deep breath, and with how close we are, all I do is breathe him in.
He smells of oil and something earthy. I’m almost positive the earthy part is from something like his shampoo or maybe even a cologne, but it reminds me of the woods around the house.
The oil is a scent that’s completely him.
He’s smelled like it since the first time I met him.
It was the first thing I smelt when I woke up to him in the pit.
While I didn't know what it was then, I knew it was him. Even fresh out of the shower, it lingers as if it’s buried deep in his skin now, never to be washed away.
It wasn’t until he came home from the garage one night, partially covered in the stuff, that it made sense why.
It does nothing to help me clear my mind. Instead, it only makes it worse.
“Hey,” Zander says, hooking a finger under my chin, so our eyes meet once again.
I’m not sure what he sees, but it causes him to move back from me just slightly so that our bodies are no longer pressed so closely together. It’s enough for my brain to kick back into gear.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. It has a mind of its own. Just ignore it,” he says, and it takes me a minute to catch on to what he’s referring to.
He’s talking about his dick. As if it’s just some other person.
The idea is so ridiculous that I can’t stop the laughter that bursts out of my mouth.
“What's so funny?” he asks, sounding so sincere that it only has me laughing harder, and pretty soon, I’ve lost all control.
“Damn, way to give a guy a complex. I’m not sure that I’ve ever had someone laugh after being pressed against my dick before,” Zander finally says, after I’ve gotten ahold of myself.
“I wasn’t laughing because of your dick,” I tell him, while I take deep breaths now that I can breathe again. “I was laughing because you were talking about it like it was a fucking person. Who does that?”
I close my eyes, rolling over onto my back, hoping it will be easier to breathe. The bed dips next to me, and when I open my eyes again, Zander’s above me with a smirk on his face.
“First of all, I’m going to need you to stop saying dick.
It sounds sinfully delicious coming from your lips and makes my mind fall right into the gutter, Doll.
Second, I’ll have you know my dick does have a mind of his own, and in that situation, I had zero control.
All he knew was that one of the most badass, beautiful women he’s ever seen was pressed against him in very little clothing, so he reacted.
” Zander’s slowly lowering himself as he talks, and I have the urge to pull him down and kiss him as I stare up at him.
“And third, and this is very important, so listen up. It’s very rude to laugh at a man's dick. You could hurt his feelings, and he’s very sensitive.” He gives a little pout, but he’s close enough now that even in the low light, I can see the mischief shining in his eyes.
“Oh no, I wouldn’t want that,” I say, giving him a mock look of horror. “I’m so sorry. Let me apologize.”