Chapter 58 #2
Not to mention, this room is hot as hell.
I don’t say anything at first, worried it’s only me.
It could be a side effect of the medication or even just my body fighting something off.
But it doesn’t take long to become almost unbearable.
Looking around, I see I’m not the only one sweating as I tug on Jake's shirt in hopes of cooling off.
“Why is it so damn hot in here?” I finally ask, unable to keep quiet any longer.
The room goes quiet for all of two seconds before they all start laughing.
What the fuck?
“So I’m guessing nobody thought to tell her what a sauna was, huh?” Spencer asks, and the others shake their heads or say no.
“Well, Demon, that’s kind of the point. Think of it like sweat therapy,” he tells me, laughing when my face screws up in disgust.
“Why?” I ask, unable to think of the appeal of something like that. He shrugs and leans back against the wall, kicking his legs wide, and I don’t have the self-control to avert my eyes.
“My eyes are up here,” he says with a smirk, and I roll my eyes but smile all the same. Yeah, he got me. Big deal, he watches my ass literally every time I walk by.
“But honestly, I don’t really know. A lot of people swear by them. They’ve been around forever. Supposed to help with all kinds of stuff like reducing stress, easing pain, cardiovascular health, and a bunch of other shit,” he says with a shrug.
“Weird,” I say, still fanning myself with Jake’s borrowed shirt.
They can say what they want about the benefits, but I don’t think I’m ever going to just want to sit around and sweat.
Working up a sweat is one thing; sex is a good workout.
I’m fine with that. But sweating just to sweat, yeah, not so much.
I push to stand, feeling the guys' eyes track my every move. The same way they always seem to lately, and I feel like I just need a minute, preferably not one where I sit covered in sweat.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” I shout back over my shoulder as I head for the hall, unwilling to look back and chance them seeing the lie on my face.
Damn them and their ability to read me so well. It really makes shit like this difficult.
“We’ll be here,” Trent yells back. I hear the smile in his words, but I move just a little faster, worried my guilt will make me turn around and go back to them.
It’s not that I don't want to be around them. I do.
I just need a minute. A minute where I don’t have to worry about worrying them. A minute where I can just lose my shit so I can find a way to the other side, the same way I always do. It’s a terrible way to deal with things, I’m sure, but it works for me, and right now, that’s all I need.
I make it into the hall before I realize I have no idea where to go down here.
We’d spent some time mapping the house the last few days, finding all the cool stuff hidden away, but I’d been careful not to come down here.
I didn’t want to be reminded that Dom was lying in a bed, damn near dead because of me.
Dom.
My feet are moving before I can really think better about it as I head for the door at the end of the hall that I know will take me to him. Reaching out, I freeze, my hand on the handle as reality sets in.
Can I go back in there?
I’m honestly not sure if it’s a good idea. Seeing him like that, knowing I was to blame, was bad enough, but facing my mother as well. Having to look her in the eyes, knowing I caused that while she looks at me like I hung the moon, only makes it worse. It would be easier if she hated me for it.
The knob turns beneath my hand, and I only have a moment to pull back before the door swings open, and I’m face-to-face with my mother.
The only other time I saw her was when I was across the room while I was tucked into Spencer’s arms. Now we stand face-to-face, damn near toe-to-toe, and it feels like I’m looking into my future.
We stand at just about the same height. I may have one, maybe two inches on her, but it’s not much.
Her eyes are the same shade of green that Dom, Leo, and I all share, and her hair is the same color as mine was before I got it dyed.
The same blonde that’s beginning to grow out in my roots.
She has a smaller frame than I do, lacking the muscles I’ve worked so hard to build. Yet she doesn’t look fragile.
I see the shock on her face as she finds me standing here, but even caught off guard, she still holds herself with purpose, chin up, shoulders back. No, she might not be ready to fight hand-to-hand, but I get the feeling she isn’t someone you want to mess with.
“Oh, Jade dear, you startled me,” she says with a sigh, her hand resting on her chest.
“Sorry,” I say, looking down at my feet with a step back, unsure what to do now. I hadn’t been sure I could handle seeing Dom, but now that I’m here and she’s seen me, would it be weird to just walk away?
“Were you coming to see Dom?” she asks, making me look up at her in confusion. What else would I be doing?
The look in her eyes tells me she knows more than she’s saying, and I realize she’s trying to give me an out.
I’m not sure how she knows. Maybe my confusion is written on my face, or maybe it’s a mother's intuition. Either way, it eases something in me to know she isn’t judging me. It almost feels like she understands.
“I was just going to shower and call your father if you wanted a few minutes with him. Feel free to go in or not. The monitors will alert me if there's a problem, so there's no need to feel like you have to…”
She trails off, and I watch her eyes soften as a small smile pulls at her lips.
“But I’m sure he would like your company,” she says, and I can see that she really does believe that.
Without another word, she’s gone, walking down the hall and disappearing around the corner before I can think of what to say.
A face-to-face with her wasn’t what I’d expected when I came here. Honestly, I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t unpleasant, even if it was mildly awkward.
I stand for a moment outside the room, unsure what to do.
Do I go in, or should I just turn around and head back to the guys?
The door still sits ajar, just enough for me to see the foot of his bed.
A blanket covers his legs, and I swear I see a twitch of movement.
The doctor came in and removed the tubes a few days ago, and as of this morning, the medication that was keeping him under should have been stopped.
When he wakes is completely up to his body, though; it could be in five minutes or days still.
The idea of seeing him up, alive, even if he hates me for getting him shot, is enough to have me moving into the room.
I push the door closed behind me. It doesn’t latch, but it offers some privacy while still providing a quick exit if needed.
The last time I was here, there were so many machines and wires.
He looked more like a robot than the man I grew to know over the last few weeks.
One quick glance is all it takes to see that’s no longer the case.
There are still some, but not nearly as many, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
The monitor next to his bed gives a steady beat, and I watch as his chest rises and falls.
He looks peaceful, as if he might just be asleep.
Some of my worry begins to melt away the longer I stand here.
I didn’t kill my brother.
It’s shocking how much that matters to me. Someone who’s killed to survive shouldn’t be so worried about one life. But I am. I’ve never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it, and Dom doesn’t deserve it.
My legs shake as I step further into the room, and this time, it has nothing to do with being shot and everything to do with nerves.
I’ve never had a family before, but I want this one.
I’m not stupid. I know it will take work.
It’s not something that happens overnight.
The guys taught me that, but they also taught me that it’s worth it.
Love isn’t weakness; family isn’t weakness, and anything in life worth having is worth fighting for, even when it’s scary.
Especially when it’s scary.
My knees give out as I reach the edge of his bed, and I fall to the ground hard, but I don’t even feel it.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I choke out the words, my throat raw with emotion as I lay my head down on his bedside and cry.