Chapter 59
Everything hurts, and my chest feels like it’s on fire with every breath, but somehow, I don’t think that’s what woke me. I sit for a minute, waiting, trying to pinpoint what it is, if not the burning in my chest.
Soft sniffles fill the room, and I feel it like a hit to the chest. I know that sound. It’s haunted my nightmares for years. My body isn’t happy, begging me to rest, but I push through, needing to be awake and be there for her.
Needing to see her alive, to know that all these years weren’t wasted looking for her, only to fail her again when she needed me most.
“I’m so sorry for everything.” I hear her say, or at least I think that’s what she said. It’s hard to tell through her sniffles and the muffling of her voice.
“Please be okay. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.
I went down to face Ivan to avoid that.” Her breath hitches, cutting her off as she struggles to breathe through her hysteria, but she’s not done yet.
“I don’t hate you. I wanted to. Fuck, I wanted to hate you so bad, but I don’t.
I was afraid and hurt. You and Leo both lied to me.
You kept the one thing I always wanted just out of reach, and I told myself I couldn’t trust you because of that.
But that was only part of it, a very small part.
I’d wanted a family who cared for me for as long as I can remember, but when you found me, I wasn’t the same little girl anymore.
I was a monster. I am a monster. I don’t deserve the family I envisioned, but I still want it. ”
She’s quiet for a moment, and I think that maybe she’s said everything she needed to.
The bed shifts, and I feel her smaller hand grab mine as I struggle to open my eyes.
I feel her tears as they fall onto my hand as I finally peel my eyes open.
The lights are thankfully dim, but even that feels like a lot after who knows how long in the dark.
Jade sits on the bed beside me, her feet dangling off the side, my hand wrapped up in both of hers on her lap. Her head is bent forward, and while she’s no longer crying loudly, I can see her shoulders shake.
“I had a dream last night. I don’t know if it was a memory or something that my brain made up, but it was raining.
The thunder was so loud I thought it would break the windows.
I was too afraid to go to Mother and Father.
I didn’t want them to think I was just a scared little girl.
So I went to you. It was so easy. I wasn’t worried you would think less of me or make fun of me.
You let me curl up in your bed and told me a story, and even though the storm raged on outside, I felt safe with you there. Just like the princess and…”
Her words trail off, and she shakes her head before reaching up to wipe her face on the back of her hand with a sigh.
“Her brother. The prince who gave up his crown to serve her instead, determined to keep her safe, always.”
My voice is weak and scratchy, and I desperately need some water, but I force them out, regardless. I need her to know that it was real, that I’m here just like I always was, even when I didn’t do the best job of showing it.
She’s off the bed in a second, stumbling away. Probably not my best idea, and I can’t blame her for reacting the way she did.
“Sorry,” I mumble, trying to push myself up to sit. I don’t make it far before I collapse back onto the bed in a coughing fit.
“Shit, don’t move!” Jade scolds me, rushing to my side, eyes wide with concern.
“Sorry,” I say again with a chuckle, shaking my head as she moves to the side table, pouring a glass of water. She almost spills it all over herself as she moves back toward me, and I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen her be clumsy.
“Hey.”
I place my hand over hers around the cup as she holds it out to me. Her hand shakes, her cheeks still stained with tears, and she won’t look at me.
“Take a breath. It’s okay,” I tell her, taking the cup with my other hand so as not to let her go, afraid she might run or collapse.
“Stop it!” she shouts, squeezing her eyes closed. “Stop trying to take care of me. You almost died, Dom. I almost got you killed.”
The raw grief in her words makes my chest ache.
I bring the cup to my lips, drinking it in one long gulp.
It feels fantastic on my throat, and I could probably use some more, but that can wait.
Letting it fall away, I yank on her hand that’s still trapped in my own, pulling her to my chest before I wrap my arms around her.
It hurts like a bitch, but I ignore that, instead focusing on the feeling of hugging my little sister again after all these years. This was what I’d been looking for, and for a while, I never thought I’d get the chance again.
Jade goes rigid in my hold but doesn’t pull away, and after a second, her arms snake around me. Her movements are soft and slow so as not to hurt me, and she doesn’t hug me tight, but that doesn’t matter. She melts into me, and her shoulders shake; the sounds of her cries muffled against my chest.
“Shhh, it’s going to be okay. We’re home, Jade.
I promised to always protect you. That’s what I wanted to do.
I might not have given up my crown like the knight in my stories all those years ago, but I would have.
The only regret I have is not telling you sooner, on my own.
If I’d had to die to save you, I would have done so happily. ”
She shakes her head, pulling back enough to look up at me.
Before, her looks were more often than not glares.
Sometimes she would smile at me when I offered a good idea or when I’d whoop Leo’s ass in training, but it never lasted long.
She was careful, guarded, and the second she realized what she was doing, she shut it down.
I know why she was like that, though, and I never thought I didn’t deserve it. I’d hurt her. It was never what I intended, but I did, and I was fine with her hating me so long as she was safe and alive.
That didn’t stop me from hoping for a day when she didn’t. Seeing her look up at me without that hate or careful mask is almost strange, but I hope someday it won’t be.
“You don’t get to say shit like that. You wanted to find me, and you did. Now, you don’t get to leave.”
Her face is serious, even with tears still leaking from her eyes, and I almost laugh. She looks so much like she did when she was little, arguing with me.
I don’t, though. She might be sorry now, but I have no doubt that if I laugh at her while she’s crying, she might very well kill me herself.
“Nobody gets to die, or leave, or anything like that. I’ve had enough of that to last the rest of our lives.”
“Deal.” I agree without argument, and she sighs as if my answer took a weight off her shoulders. I can’t promise tomorrow; none of us can, but I’m sure as hell going to try, and I know her guys will too.
A loud bell rings through the house, making my head snap up, and Jade pulls away on alert once again.
“What’s that?” she asks, looking toward the door as if someone might storm in. It’s easy to forget she doesn’t remember anything about her younger years, back when she lived here.
Nobody’s getting in here without us knowing.
It had always been that way, or so we had thought.
Until Jade went missing. After that, our father did everything in his power to make our property the most secure place I’ve ever been, going so far as to be able to lock everything down from the inside.
He even made it so that each floor could be locked down independently, if necessary.
Too bad he never realized the reason she went missing wasn’t a lack of security, but that he had trusted the wrong person with access. When we were younger, Ivan was in and out of our house for both business and Leo’s training. He could access anything and everything, including my sister.
I didn’t know for sure back then, but eventually, I had my suspicions when every other trail went cold. I never told Father, though. I didn’t want to point fingers without proof, and by the time I knew for sure, I’d been away too long to reach him. But we’re home now, all of us.
“Father’s home,” I say, causing her to whip around and face me. Her eyes widen, and I can see the slight panic as she stares at me.
“Come help me out of bed, and we can go down and see him together,” I tell her, waving her back to me, hoping to give her a task that will slow her racing thoughts. She stands frozen for a moment before realizing what I’m asking of her, and she rushes back to my side.
“Have you met Mother yet?” I ask as she helps me pull myself further up so that I’ll be able to swing my legs off the bed.
Shit. I steal a quick peek under the covers when she isn’t looking to ensure I have pants on. I sigh in relief when I find myself in a pair of my old shorts that Mother must have had on hand.
At least that’s one crisis averted.
“Um, yeah. She’s been in here with you most days, so I haven’t seen her a lot.”
I watch as she cringes.
“Not that I didn’t want to see you. I did. It was just hard. There were so many tubes and wires, and I just—”
“Hey, hey, it’s fine,” I tell her, cutting off her rambling. “It’s hard. I get it. But you’re here now.”
With a nod, she ducks under my good arm, helping me off the bed. I wobble a bit, but overall, I’m a lot steadier than I thought I’d be, and I can’t help but smile. Maybe recovery won’t be so bad. A quick look at Jade wipes it away when I see her brows scrunched in pain.
“You okay?” I ask, taking some of my weight off her, earning me a scowl in return.
“I’m fine,” she snaps, but I can see the sweat that beads on her forehead, and I know she’s lying.
I’d hoped her wound was more artificial than mine.
Seeing her up and moving around almost had me believing it, but I’ve been out for at least a few days now, and if she’s still feeling the effects, it was probably pretty bad.
Jade’s taken a lot of abuse in her life.
“Seriously, let’s just go.” She urges me forward, and I know it’s just because she wants me to let this go. I want to fight her on it. Want to ask her a million questions and make sure she’s okay, but I also don’t want to suffocate her or make her hate me so soon again.
With a sigh, I let it go. I can always ask later. For now, let’s just get through one thing at a time.