Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
September 8 th
11:32 A.M.
He couldn’t take his eyes off them.
Either of them.
They were both so beautiful, so precious, so important to him.
It meant he had some hard decisions to make over the coming hours, but for now, Cade couldn’t allow himself to think about that.
All he could focus on was how grateful he was that his plan had gotten Essie and Gabriella out of that hell alive.
Although not unscathed.
Essie was particularly clingy, totally to be expected, but still hard to watch as his usually confident and outgoing little girl made sure she was always within touching distance of him or Gabriella. More Gabriella than him, and while he wanted his daughter to seek comfort in his arms, he knew how lucky he’d been when he decided to hire Gabby.
No one else outside himself and his family would have protected her the way she had.
Which brought him to the nanny.
While she had a permanent smile on her face, there was something haunted in her eyes that he hated and wanted to get rid of. Maybe no one else was picking up on it, although he couldn’t imagine how since it seemed so blatantly obvious, but he was, and it killed him.
Like his daughter, Gabriella was confident and outgoing, she loved hard and wasn't shy about sharing how much she cared for the people in her life. She was always thinking of others, wanting them to be included and never feel left out, but who was there for her making sure she knew that she was a vital piece of this family?
“All right you ready to get out of here?” Jax asked, appearing at his hospital room door with a wheelchair.
Cade growled at it. So his leg was a little messed up, so what? It didn't mean he had to be taken through the hospital halls in a wheelchair.
When his brothers had shown up and saved his life, he’d passed out. He had no memory of being brought to the hospital or being examined. His memories started up again after he woke up from surgery to clean and stitch his leg to find Gabriella sitting in a chair beside his bed, holding his hand. The relief in her green eyes when she saw him wake up would stay with him forever. If he had ever had any doubt about how deep her feelings for him ran that had eliminated them.
“More than ready,” he said, shoving off the bed and ignoring the crutches Gabriella held out to him.
“You're coming home, Daddy?” Essie asked, hovering by his side, an anxious look on her normally calm and happy little face.
They’d already gone over that several times, but his daughter needed a lot of reassurance, and he was more than happy to give it to her. He knew how lucky they were to be alive and, relatively speaking, unscathed.
“We’re all going home, little one,” he assured her.
“Gabby and I made ice cream, can we have it for lunch?” his devious little munchkin asked, showing that even though she was struggling after her ordeal, inside his precious little daughter still existed.
“Sure we can,” he agreed.
“Cade,” Gabriella rebuked. “You know the rules, treats are for dessert and afternoon snacks if we do some baking.”
“Rules were meant to be broken,” Cade said simply.
“Okay, who are you and what did you do to my brother?” Cole teased.
Shrugging, he hobbled toward the door. What did rules matter when he and his daughter were alive? If it made her happy, Essie could eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the rest of her life.
Automatically, he reached out and took his daughter’s hand, but he didn't realize he’d also taken Gabriella’s until he reached the door and Jax blocked his path. Reaching for her seemed so necessary, a vital part of his recovery, and hers too. Not just their recovery but their lives, too.
Just because he’d never told her didn't mean she hadn't been the glue holding him, his daughter, and his life together these last four years.
“Uh, dude, it’s hospital policy,” Jax told him when he tried to maneuver past the wheelchair.
“Essie, you want to ride on Daddy’s lap as we go downstairs?” Gabriella asked, effectively cutting off any protest he could make.
When he shot her a frown she simply smiled—a smile that didn't reach her eyes—and he rolled his eyes. At least some things never changed.
“Yay!” Essie bounced up and down in excitement and he knew he’d definitely been outplayed by his girls.
Taking a seat, he reached down and picked his daughter up, settling her on his lap but careful to avoid his wound. It was going to keep him out of action for a little while, but he didn't care, his focus was on his daughter right now anyway. Between helping Essie heal from her trauma and continuing to look into the other men who had been involved in the rape he’d have more than enough to keep him busy.
It didn't take long for them to reach the car, and again it was only when he went to stand that he realized somewhere along the way he’d taken hold of Gabriella’s hand again. Cade wasn't just consumed with a need to keep his daughter close but Gabriella as well.
Even if he had a million years, he could never repay her for the sacrifices she’d made to protect Essie. Taking that beating and allowing that man to kiss her had saved his daughter from suffering the same fate, and he was eternally grateful.
The three of them piled into the back of his car since it had Essie’s car seat installed, and Cole drove them home. The ride was short, Essie babbled away about how she’d beaten Jake and Jax in Mario Kart the day before, and Gabriella just sat there watching him.
As much as he couldn’t tear his gaze away from her and Essie, she seemed to be in the same boat. Her eyes had been on him constantly, even when she was focused on Essie, he could feel a thread of her attention on him.
Something had changed between them. Her abduction had forced him to confront feelings he had previously been content to ignore.
The problem was, he still wasn't sure he could do anything about it.
The danger against his family would only grow now that John Gaccione was in custody. They knew that Tarek Mahmoud was deceased, and according to John, his father and one of the other men were as well, but John claimed not to know the other man’s name.
“We’re home,” Essie announced as they pulled into the driveway.
Home.
Without his daughter and Gabriella, it hadn't felt like home, just an empty house. It was the same feeling he’d had when he first walked into it after Gretel had died. The heart that turned a house into a home was missing. It had only returned when he hired Gabriella and she moved in.
“We’re going to take turns watching the house,” Cole informed him. “So you guys can enjoy some time together, but we’re going to have to talk about a better plan from here on out. These men are too dangerous and we’re getting closer. You know how cornered animals react.”
That was true.
And it was what had a heavy ball of regret sitting heavily in his stomach.
He knew what he had to do, he just didn't like it one little bit.
While Gabriella rounded the car and helped Essie out of her car seat, he swung his bad leg out and carefully placed his weight on it. The wound wasn't bad enough that he couldn’t use the leg, but it did throb annoyingly. A constant reminder of how close he’d come to losing his life.
Watching Essie skip down the path toward the door, Gabriella rifling through her bag looking for the keys, was so normal that tears actually blurred his vision for a second. These little moments of everyday life had always just slipped by unnoticed. Sometimes it wasn't until you came so close to losing something that you realized how important those regular moments really were.
Before Gabriella could unlock the door, it opened, and Cooper shot them a grin.
“House is clear, coffee is made, and there might be some donuts on the counter,” Cooper told Essie.
“Donuts!” she squealed, taking off at a run for the kitchen.
“Just one, if you want some ice cream,” Gabriella called, hurrying after her.
“You guys going to be okay? I can hang around if you want,” Cooper offered.
“We’re okay. Appreciate everything you did for me and for them,” he said gruffly, pulling his brother in for a somewhat awkward one-armed hug.
“Course, brother. We’re family. All of us.” Cooper gave him a look that wasn't hard to decipher. He meant that Gabriella was part of them too.
Cade wasn't disagreeing.
This was her family. She’d proven that time and time again, in how deeply she loved Essie, in everything she’d done to protect her.
It was what made what he was going to have to do so hard. It was the equivalent of amputating a part of himself, and there were no guarantees he’d ever heal from the wound.
September 8 th
8:08 P.M.
“I didn't think she’d fall asleep so easily,” Gabriella whispered as Cade eased closed the door to Essie’s bedroom. “I guess having her daddy back home helped.”
She knew it was going to help her.
Tonight she might actually be able to sleep for more than a handful of minutes at a time. Cade would be in the house and that meant she’d be safe. No one else could make her feel as safe as he could. Having his brothers watching the house was a bonus, but knowing he was asleep in his room down the hall would allow her to actually relax enough to fall asleep.
As she turned to head down the hall for the stairs, Cade captured her hand.
He’d been doing that a lot since he woke up yesterday afternoon, not that she was complaining. She loved the way his large hand covered hers, his strong fingers twinning with hers, holding just tight enough to make her feel like she was cared about.
Did he care?
In more than a she was Essie’s nanny way?
Or had she allowed herself to get her hopes up these last few days?
There had been no time for them to talk since he was rescued. They hadn't been alone, and his focus had been on Essie, as it absolutely should be. But they were going to need to have a conversation at some point. She had to understand what it meant that he’d been carrying around her old doll and that he’d given her custody of his daughter and possession of his house.
The pad of his thumb brushed across the inside of her wrist making her shiver as she turned to face him. He was so much taller than her own five foot two frame and she had to tilt her head back to look up at him.
There was something indecipherable in his brown eyes, but he gave her a small smile that she could read easily.
Gratefulness.
Her stomach sank a little.
Was that the only reason for the doll and the legal paperwork? Gratefulness because she’d done her job and protected the little girl she loved?
“Thank you,” he whispered. “For everything. I can never repay you.” Leaning down he touched a tender kiss to her forehead.
A kiss that brought tears to her eyes.
She didn't want his thanks. Of course, she did what she could to protect Essie. What she wanted was … something she was pretty sure she could never have. She wanted his love.
Stupid of her.
A woman already owned Cade Charleston’s heart, and it wasn't her.
Would never be her.
“You don’t have to thank me, Cade,” she said wearily, trying to tug her hand free from his grip. They needed to talk, but she couldn’t handle that kind of emotionally intense conversation right now. It would have to wait until the morning.
The hand around hers tightened, just enough to maintain his hold on her. “Don’t go. Please,” he whispered, his voice raw with a thousand different emotions.
Spinning around to look back up at him, her eyes widened, confused but hopeful. “Why?”
“Because I need you close right now,” he answered truthfully.
“I don’t … what does that mean exactly?” There was no way she was going to make any assumptions. Her poor battered heart couldn’t take it. She was in love with this man, had been for a long time, and she wasn't sure he quite got that he had the power to crush her if he so chose.
“It means come to bed with me,” he said bluntly, and whatever expression was on her face must have been funny because her gruff guy chuckled, his face breaking out into one of those rare breathtaking smiles of his usually only reserved for his daughter. “Please.”
“G-go to bed with y-you?” she stammered, wondering if she was hallucinating. The Cade she knew would never take her to bed.
“Yes.”
“You mean for like … s-sex?”
Another chuckle. “Unless it’s not what you want.”
“It is,” she said in a rush. It was everything she’d craved but told herself she could never have for years.
“Then come, please.” He tugged her gently toward his bedroom and she allowed him to pull her along with him.
“So polite tonight,” she teased. It felt like a giant weight had been lifted off her chest. Finally, the man she’d pined for was showing her that he had feelings for her in return. She’d always understood that part of his heart would always belong to his wife, that wasn't something she wanted to change, after all, Gretel would always be Essie’s mother. All she wanted was a little sliver of his heart to call her own. He and his daughter already owned hers.
“I think I'm about to change your mind on that, sweetheart,” he told her as he tugged harder on her wrist as they entered his bedroom, bring her body flush up against his. “On a scale of one to ten, how sore are you? And don’t even think of lying to me,” he warned.
Pain had been a constant friend to her these last few days, but right now, she barely even felt it, there were too many other emotions and feelings taking its place. “Maybe a five,” she said, deciding that was the safest answer.
“You’ll tell me if that changes.” An order not a question, and she squeaked as he shifted his arms so he could pick her up and carry her the remaining distance to the bed.
“Cade, you're bruises, your cuts, your leg,” she reminded him.
“Don’t care about my leg, sweetheart. All I care about is this.”
Laying her out on the mattress that smelled so deliciously like him, she drew in a deep breath to fill her lungs with the scent, he grabbed the waistband of her leggings and panties and drew them down her legs as he moved to the bottom of the bed.
“Do you know how long I've been waiting to do this?” he asked as he buried his face between her legs and dragged in a long breath that ended on a moan. “So sweet.”
Gabriella gasped at the first swipe of his tongue. Her ex hadn't been very adventurous in the bedroom, and any time she’d asked him for oral sex he’d complained and done it only under sufferance. She’d never gotten off from it, and in the end, she’d stopped asking since it was easier than the humiliation of knowing her husband didn't enjoy bringing her pleasure.
This was nothing like that had been.
Each swipe of his tongue, each time he teased her entrance, each time he circled his lips around her bud and suckled it sent little electrical currents of pleasure blasting through her body.
Slipping a finger inside her, and then another, he stretched her open, and his tongue plunged deep inside her, bringing her hips off the bed.
Eyes falling closed, head tipping back on the pillow, she began to writhe as he built her higher and higher.
“Come for me now, sweetheart,” he ordered as his fingers stayed inside her, pumping in and out and grazing that special spot with each movement as his mouth moved to cover her bundle of nerves. He sucked hard, his tongue flicking over her bud over and over again until there was no way she couldn’t obey his command.
She shattered into a thousand pieces as her orgasm rushed through her. White light flashed behind her closed lids, and her body thrashed as intense pleasure claimed her.
By the time she felt him moving back up her body she was panting, her cheeks were wet, and she was trembling from the intensity of the orgasm.
That was nothing like she had ever experienced before. She’d known orgasms could be powerful, but she’d never known they could be like that. So all-consuming that she hardly maintained the ability to think, move, or do anything but feel.
“I can't carry a pregnancy to term,” she admitted when he went to rip open a condom, averting her gaze so she didn't see the pity in his eyes.
Taking her chin between his forefinger and thumb he nudged and waited patiently until she met his gaze again. “I'm sorry.” He touched a tender kiss to her forehead and her heart swelled until it felt far too big for her chest.
“I haven’t been with anyone since my husband,” she told him.
“I haven’t been with anyone since my wife. At first, I was too busy grieving, too busy wondering how I was going to handle being a single parent, and then …”
“Then what?”
“Then a fiery redhead exploded into my life, and I couldn’t think about touching another woman.” As he said the words, he lined up and buried himself inside her in one smooth thrust of his hips.
There was a moment of pain as her body stretched and adjusted to his size, but it quickly morphed into pleasure as he began to move.
Lifting her legs she hooked them around his hips, drawing him deeper. Her hands landed on his shoulders, again bringing him closer, and her lips sought his. For so long she’d dreamed of this, been convinced it was never going to happen, that he would never see her as anything other than Essie’s nanny.
But now …
Now she had hope.
It wasn’t like she was expecting a ring and a proposal any time soon, but she wanted a chance to see if she and Cade could work as partners, if they could truly fall in love and build a life together.
His mouth devoured hers in a hungry kiss as he picked up the pace, thrusting into her with an urgency that echoed inside her.
Faint flutters built low in her belly, they quickly grew until she felt them shimmering throughout her body. When Cade reached between them and tweaked her bundle of nerves once again, she combusted in an orgasm that ripped through her body, tearing its way into her soul and lodging there.
This man owned her.
He had from the first time she’d seen him interact with his daughter. He was everything a father should be, and she knew he would be everything a husband should be as well.
Tugging on him, she urged him to allow some of his body weight to rest against her, needing to feel cocooned in his embrace, surrounded by not just his body but his feelings for her as well.
For the first time in her life, Gabriella felt a sense of belonging.
This was where she was supposed to be.