Chapter 11
Venom – Two Months Later
I gently bounce my leg as I watch Raya stare straight ahead, tears running down her cheeks, her once-curly hair up in a messy bun, her light pink, off-the-shoulder, long-sleeved bridesmaid dress ruffled up with crinkles while she hugs herself, her body trembling.
I have the urge to walk over to her, to lift her in my arms like Blade has hold of his woman, Psycho clutching to his, whose attention is on her friend who has barely spoken to her in two months, and Fury holding an inconsolable Skylar who is still in her wedding dress.
They’re supposed to be starting their family moon – their honeymoon, but with Tate. We are all sitting in the hospital waiting room, waiting for an update on Lake.
Viper who returned this morning adamant to sort shit out with Lake called and explained he found the love of his life, the reason why he went nomad for two months unconscious on the shower floor, covered in blood.
She slit her wrists, and not for the first time, according to the doctor.
Instead of feeling the pain she was in after everything with Viper, the shit the brothers would say, and the nasty, vile words Cherri would spew, she cut to try and squash it because anger no longer helped.
Only today, after Cherri lied about sleeping with Viper, then called her a whore just like her, she cut a little too deep.
She’s just lucky Viper managed to find her when he did. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have survived.
I lean forward and link my fingers as I lean my elbows on my knees, not taking my eyes off Raya, who still won’t speak to me, let alone look at me or anyone else within the MC.
I messed up sleeping with Angel, so fucking badly. I knew what Mama said was bullshit, the same Mama who is now hanging around like a bad smell, yet I allowed my fears to cloud my judgment, and now, Raya hates me even more than she did.
“Raya knows you slept with Angel,” Ivy says in a rush, not giving me time to even say ‘Hey, sis’ after answering her call. Everything goes cold deep inside me as I slowly stand from my seat near the bar, Blade and Psycho looking at me with a frown.
Fuck, this can’t be happening.
“You said,” I begin to accuse, but she cuts me off and admits, “I didn’t tell her, Cale, I swear.
One minute we were all messaging, threatening to kidnap her if she didn’t answer our texts, and the next she messaged me separately and mentioned you slept with Angel, who is pregnant, and she knows I knew and didn’t tell her. ”
More tears slide down Raya’s cheeks, tears I want to kiss away as I come out of the memory.
I rushed to Raya’s apartment to try and explain, to fuck, I don’t know, to beg her not to lose trust in my sister, but instead of letting me in, she called the cops.
Who knew this would be the straw to break the camel’s back for their friendship after so many years.
I sigh as I eye the door before looking back at Raya. Viper hasn’t left Lake’s side since they arrived at the hospital, and right now, the doctor is hoping he’ll convince her to take the three-week program at a therapy facility just outside of Santa Monica, one she refused when offered.
Lake claimed she didn’t mean to cut that deep, that she slipped and doesn’t need to go into therapy, that it won’t happen again and will just take a few weeks off work.
The problem is though, it wasn’t just one wrist she slit too deep it was both and to make things worse, she’s fucking pregnant with Viper’s child but never told him, instead she has contacted adoption agencies far away from the club.
She doesn’t want her child to be brought up near the club after the shit that got said about her, all because of Cherri.
Viper has a lot of hard work to convince her she can be a mama, that they can be together, that everything said between them was just words. They can come back from it while me, I need to ensure Raya doesn’t fall apart out of guilt, even if she won’t look at me.
The guilt fucking radiates off her.
Lake had been distant for a few months, and the women allowed her, believing that was what she needed. Raya had been even more distant in her own world since I fucked her, then Angel, after her birthday, which no one knew about but my sister.
Ivy said I was the last resort to get her to celebrate it, something she apparently hasn’t done since she was fifteen and Ivy snuck out to celebrate with her and then Raya disappeared for three months for reasons my sister refuses to say.
Now said sister is heartbroken because her best friend has distanced herself while also still being there for Huddy.
Psycho’s been taking him to the park, where she’ll meet him for an hour or so every couple of days, and much to my sister's chagrin, he’s staying neutral out of punishment for not telling him about Mama being back in town.
The door to the waiting room opens, I look away from Raya to see a disheveled Viper still in his suit, his eyes glossy as he looks around the room.
We lock eyes, and he swallows hard as I tilt my head with a question, and he gives me a slight nod in confirmation, and I sigh with relief.
She’s going.
He looks around the room again before locking on Raya, who hasn’t noticed he’s here, and he tilts his head with sorrow.
I’ve kept him up to date on the shit that has been going on and how distant Raya’s become, even though I’ve tried to get her to talk to me.
“Raya,” he calls, gaining everyone’s attention, including the women who try to get off their men, wanting to know about their friend. Blade, Psycho, and Fury keep hold of them as Raya looks towards Viper.
Her pretty, icy blue eyes widen as she realizes Viper is the one who called her, and she quickly stands and asks, “Is she going?”
The women who began to complain all zip it as Viper nods and admits, “She is as long as I visit every week.”
Raya’s tears fall, and she nods and whispers, “Can I see her?”
I stand, already knowing the answer as Viper confirms, “She doesn’t want to see anyone right now, she’s ashamed because everyone knows her secret, knows that she put the baby at risk.”
“But it isn’t something to be ashamed about, depression consumes you and swallows you whole,” Raya chokes as she presses her hands to her stomach like she’s about to be sick, like she knows something we don’t and I quickly rush over to her as Psycho holds my sister tighter when she tries to get out of his hold to get to her friend.
I lock eyes with my sister and nod, so she knows I’ve got her, and she instantly relaxes as I gently wrap my arm around Raya from behind, trying to give her the comfort she needs and she allows me, which settles everything deep inside of me.
“I know, sweetheart,” Viper rasps, “With how she’s feeling right now, it’s consuming her. I’ll get her to call you as soon as she’s ready, I promise.”
Raya sniffles but nods as she leans against me, giving me some of her weight, making my whole body light up with fireworks, and a realization hits me, something I’ve tried to deny.
Fuck me, she’s not just the woman I’m in love with, she’s the fucking one.
Shit, fuck, fuck.
I hold her tighter as the thought chokes me, and Viper, not seeing the shock I’m currently under, asks, “She said out of everyone, only you and her dad have a key to her place, could you go pack a bag for her, enough for a month at least?”
Raya sniffles but nods, and I mutter, “Come on, kitten, I’ll drive your car.” and I gently guide her towards the waiting room door before my sister can jump in and demand to go with her.
I know she wants to speak to her, to fix their friendship, but I’m going to be selfish.
I need this time with her, not only to come to terms with my thoughts, knowing there is fuck all I can do about them, but because I need her to talk to me.
Before I decide to say ‘fuck it’ and do something I have resisted doing since the day I realized I can access everyone’s details online.
“We’ll be about an hour, brother,” I say as we stop near Viper, and he nods and admits, “They’ve got to keep her for seventy-two hours on suicide watch,” and Raya flinches and he murmurs, “Don’t feel guilty, Raya, she hid a lot because she didn’t want you to worry.”
“Too late,” Raya whispers in return as she goes to her tiptoes, causing me to drop my arm as she kisses his cheek. I swallow my growl and lock eyes with Viper, who raises a brow but nods in understanding.
Fuck, guess I’m not the only one who sees it.
Taking a deep breath to control my sudden, quick breathing, I gently wrap my arm back around Raya’s waist. The need to pull her tight against me high, and I listen to it and guide her out of the room towards the exit.
Twenty minutes later, I unfold myself out of Raya’s tiny ass car with a groan as I climb out and mutter, “Fucking hell, you need a bigger car.”
“Or you could have just let me drive my own car,” she retorts, finally giving me some of that attitude I have so fucking missed as she grabs Lake’s keys and walks up the pathway.
“Yeah, I’m beginning to regret not following on my bike,” I admit, and she looks my way with shock that I actually admitted it.
I shake my head with a small smile as I take the keys from her, touching her fingers, hoping she feels the electric spark I just did, hoping she missed my touch just as much as I missed hers.
“Come on, kitten, let’s get some of Lake’s things,” I murmur as I gently tuck a loose piece of her hair behind her ear and she swallows hard, trying not to make eye contact with me. I sigh as I open the front door and mutter, “You’ve got to talk to me at some point, kitten.”
She walks past and whispers, “No, I don’t,” making my stomach tighten.
Angel has claimed and publicly announced she is indeed pregnant with my child, even though she’s refusing to do a blood test to confirm it.
She showed me a pregnancy test but I know she didn’t piss on it, Helena our barmaid at the night club who is five months pregnant did.
Trent confirmed it by the footage he took and the bitch has also been taking more men to the back room at the strip club, several complaining because she wanted to go bare, a few actually agreeing but only coming on her tits or in her mouth afterwards.
She’s not pregnant but is trying her hardest to be, and Raya believes, just like the rest of town, that she is and that it’s mine.
The woman won’t let me in, and knowing that she is my one, my fucking everything that I overlooked and treated like shit, is making it hard to breathe.
Sighing, I follow Raya inside the apartment and down a small hallway before entering a light lilac bedroom. Raya stands near the bed, her eyes on a picture on the nightstand, and I swallow, seeing it’s a picture of Viper grinning at the camera, before my eyes go to the bed.
“Is that…” my question trails off, eyeing the t-shirt folded up neatly on Lake’s bed, and Raya smiles a little and finishes, “Yeah, it’s Viper’s shirt, though somehow I don’t think she’ll want him to know she has kept it for this long.”
Shaking her head, she goes to the closet and grabs the bag, and I look back at the t-shirt.
Does Raya have one of mine?
No, why would she…
Shaking my head at my stupid thoughts, I look back at Raya to see her wiping away a few stray tears, the need to hold her consumes me like it has for the past two months. As if she can hear my thoughts, she walks away towards the en-suite bathroom, and my body deflates.
We weren’t in a relationship, yet I feel like I’ve lost the other half of my soul because of my stupid actions, not just with Angel but also because of everything over the years.
Fuck, she’s never going to forgive me, is she?