73. Violette
VIOLETTE
After feverishly masturbating in the shower and dressing myself in a floor length night dress and robe, I exit the bathroom only to be stopped in my tracks at the sight I’m greeted with.
Levi and Azrael sitting on top of the bed covers, their backs leaning against the headboard as Azrael reads aloud from an old, weathered book.
His shadow sits ominously, watching from the desk chair across the room.
Azrael’s words drift as his eyes, twinkling with mischief, meet mine from over the book. Levi’s, on the other hand, devour me.
My core clenches. And as if Azrael can detect it—perhaps scent it even—his grin widens. “That was a rather long shower.”
My back goes rigid, chin lifting. “To complement the long day, naturally.”
Azrael’s lips tease a grin. “Naturally.”
The tension in the air grows impossibly taut, and Azrael chooses that exact moment to slam the book shut.
“Right. I’m going to take a quick shower myself.”
He tosses the book on the foot of the bed. “Care to translate?”
My gaze lands on the dark green and gold book. I hadn’t discerned the half-faded, gilded syrith lovers embossed into the leather of the cover, or the Syrithian script above them reading, The Sacred Rites of Syrith Courtship.
Sacred indeed.
Slaughter, blood, grand gestures, declarations of love, more blood—the drinking of it, and finally fucking. Lots and lots of fucking. Or more accurately, lots of edging, and then fucking.
My core clenches in anticipation.
Azrael strides off to the bathroom, liberating his torso of Levi’s shirt and flinging it onto the desk. I gulp. Audibly.
Levi sinks further onto the bed, holding an arm out in invitation—an action that makes my nipples and clit tingle.
Akash almighty.
I’m gnawing at the bars of my feeble enclosure.
Needing no more encouragement, despite my internal battle, my feet carry me to the bed, and I crawl directly into Levi’s arms.
Levi gazes down at me. I gaze up at him, his scent filling my nostrils further increasing my need for him. His words are a soft murmur. “Thank you for agreeing to this.”
“Thank you for inviting me. And allowing Azrael to join us.”
“You didn’t exactly give me a choice.”
Well, there’s that... but he has been surprisingly amenable about it.
“That’s not such a bad thing, though, is it? You two seem to be getting along. If it weren’t for me, you’d be fast friends.”
Levi’s lips tilt, and he leans forward to press a kiss to my forehead, but for some reason, I feel it in my clit. “Sweetheart, it’s because of you that we’re anything resembling friends.”
I give a noncommittal hum as his attention slides to the book. “So you wanna help clue me in? Azrael briefly explained the rituals…”
Of course, Azrael didn’t go into detail because he’d risk being burned alive.
“And I believe I’ve already completed one…”
My mind drifts to the stag and gangularus they’d hunted for me. We’d filled Levi’s meat freezers to the brim trying to store all of it, and still there wasn’t enough space, so we’d given the rest to Gideon before our departure.
“How the hell did you manage to hunt down a gangalarus anyway?”
Levi huffs a laugh as he holds up three fingers in a way that I can only assume is supposed to hold significance. “Eagle scout since I was 13, baby.” At my blank look, Levi’s oddly boyish grin falters. “That and uh—had to graduate SERE school and stuff before I became a SEAL.”
I lift my brows, utterly clueless as to the definition of these acronyms outside of the fact that they have something to do with the military.
“Not to mention, I’ve been hunting my own food since I moved to Gideon’s ranch.”
“You mean the cows?”
Levi snorts. “No... That wouldn’t be hunting. That’s slaughter. And I can’t bring myself to eat them, actually. I spend too much time with them. I hunt deer. And the occasional duck.”
My heart squeezes with what I can only describe as adoration.
How is it that this formidable, lethal male is capable of such compassion? Not that one would guess by looking at him.
“What did you do in the military?”
“To put it simply, I was sent on missions with a team of other specially trained individuals—like Gideon and Beau—to either capture, kill, or rescue people. Or all of the above.”
I shake my head a little absently and with more than a little awe. This man is one of polarities. It’s just one of so many things I love about him, and I realize now more than ever I don’t need a soulbond to tell me so. Even if I refuse to confess such a thing just yet.
“Well, then, I imagine you won’t find the other courting rituals to be much of a challenge either then.”
Levi sits up to reach for the book at the foot of the bed. “Speaking of, would you mind elaborating on some of the finer details... particularly with the last two.”
Fuck.
“As you know, we’ll have to drink one another’s blood…”
Levi’s gaze grows hooded. “I look forward to it.”
Gulp.
“And Azrael? Will you be okay with Azrael and me exchanging blood?”
Levi’s jaw flexes as his gaze gradually falls to some vague corner of the hotel room, no doubt imagining the intimate scene with Azrael. “Isn’t that part of your vow with him?”
“Yes…”
“Then I don’t have a choice in the matter.”.."
You could just leave... like my father.
“No.”
Levi’s expression tightens and part of me actually expects him to find the nearest exit, which makes his reply all the more astonishing. “If this is my penance for my earlier lapse in sanity, I’ll take it, Violette. There’s nothing I wouldn’t endure for you.”
They’re just words. Let him prove himself before you get your hopes up.
Like actually getting through the final rite.
A few moments pass as I steel myself.
“The final rite is to determine sexual compatibility, followed by achieving practiced fluency in one another’s sexual needs and desires.
Learning each and every detail, desire, need, and dislike.
Moulding ourselves to fit the other person.
It is no small feat. It is not merely sex for the sake of sex, and can only be completed with true union—as in dually achieved orgasms, and their bodies made one.
It is something that holds immeasurable gravitas, and even in the rare circumstances where one or both parties in the courtship decide to part ways and forgo swearing their lifelong vows, they are both forever changed. ”
Holding my gaze, Levi’s expression is completely void of emotion.
Oh, fuck. This is it. He’s going to walk straight out the door.
The silence between us is excruciating, and I exhale a breath when he finally speaks. “And what about in circumstances like this? Where there is more than one person courting the other?”
I shake my head, wary of his calm demeanor. “... It’s unheard of in syrith culture.”
Not that I would know as an Akash-forsaken shiver-less paraseivero.
Levi continues to stare.
Panic starts to build in my chest.
Fear, more specifically.
This is it.
We are no longer soulbound. He’s going to leave. This is the perfect window of opportunity for him to do so, and no one would blame him.
Levi’s expression is so distant; I’ve never felt further from him.
Tears begin to burn, forcing me to look away.
I am such a fool. An impulsive, naive, idiotic fool.
My breath catches as Levi finally breaks the silence.
“You care for him?”
Akash almighty, as guilty as I feel about it; as much as I probably shouldn’t, and regardless of how little I know him or how little trust he has earned...
I do.
My expression tightens as I try to hold back my tears.
I can’t bring myself to lie, and even if I could, Levi would see the truth written all over my face. Streaking down my cheeks in two fat, watery flags of dismay. So with a whisper, I nod. “Yes.”
Levi’s expression gives away nothing, but there’s a palpable sadness radiating from him.
“But please know that I care for you as well. Beyond measure. Beyond what I am willing to admit…”
Levi studies me, but his expression remains vacant. A few fleeting moments pass before he stands. My heart shatters in anticipation of what I should have known was coming. I stand, in one abrupt movement, to follow him, causing a mirrored memory of my mother to play in my mind.
Desperation has me gripping his arm. “Levi, please. Please, don’t leave…”
I’ve never felt more like my mother in my life, and it’s the first time I’ve ever begged.
And I’ve never felt lower.
Perhaps akin to something like carrion.
No, lower.
Sewer sludge, more likely.
Brows faintly drawn together in an uncertain look, Levi looks down at my hand clutching his bicep and then at me.
Azrael chooses then to emerge from the bathroom, a cloud of steam billowing around him. I am both relieved and terrified to see him. Relieved that there’s someone else here to potentially restrain Levi from leaving, if necessary.
Is that too deranged? If so, I’m not sure I care.
I’m terrified that Levi will snap and try to rip Azrael’s head off again. Punt it out of the hotel room window for it to get pancaked by a semi-truck.
Azrael looks down at us, eyes darting between my tears, Levi’s tense expression, and my hand still grasping his arm. “Everything okay?”
The space between Azrael’s question and Levi’s answer feels like a window to eternity in which my heart stops.
But then he gradually nods. “Yeah. Gonna take a shower.”
Oh, gods.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt such relief. My hand slackens, dropping from Levi’s arm. With parted lips, I finally exhale. A slight wave of dizziness comes over me, but quickly fades.
Azrael steps aside, and Levi steps inside the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
Azrael turns to face me, hands settling on the curve of my shoulders as he stares down into my face. Seeing the worry lining his features feels like the sun’s rays being revealed from behind a passing thundercloud.
“You thought he would leave?”
I was certain he would.
My chin wobbles as I manage a nod, more tears streaming.